Sue G in PA Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 Okay, taking a deep breath and swallowing my pride...can we talk about antidepressants? I used to be extremely depressed. Almost 6 years ago we moved into the house we are in now. We rented for one, miserable year from hell until we could afford to buy. The owners, supposed Christians, tried to evict us twice (on made-up "charges"). I was pregnant and due any day the second time they tried. I became dangerously depressed. I was suicidal and if it hadn't been for my pregnancy and then caring for the baby and a friend who prayed for me daily...I'd be no more. I was so against medication. Christians shouldn't have to take medication to be happy. Not if their faith was as strong as it should be. That was my line of thought anyway. But, long story short...I eventually did get meds. Zoloft. My happy pills. :) Nothing bothered me when I was on my happy pills. My kids could have broken all the windows in the house or fought non-stop. I was cool as a cucumber on Zoloft. I smiled all the time. But all the while I kept thinking how fake it all was. I had to take meds to be happy and calm. My spiritual life was back on track. But it was all fake. I had to take meds to have a good relationship w/ the Lord. How fake is that? After I had my dd2, I realized that the meds were interfering w/ my s*x life. I had no desire for that anymore. Dh was miserable. I was failing him. So, dh and I decided together that I would go off the meds. It was tough for a while, but I made do. That was about 2 years ago. Fast forward to now. I'm not severely depressed, but I'm not happy. I'm finding joy in nothing. I'm miserable about our lack of a good income, my husband's job, my children who don't get along and who are defiant and disrespectful. I'm not a good mother or a good wife (dh just told me that last night in not so many words). I don't want to be around my kids b/c off their fighting and bickering and just plain nasty attitudes. I can't remember the last time I laughed or smiled even. Okay, this has gotten too long. What I want to know is this: Is it time to go back on the meds? I was honestly depressed when I was on anti-depressants but didn't "feel" it b/c the meds made me so "happy". Does that make sense? It makes me want to vomit even considering this again. It depresses me that I might need medication to be happy! :001_huh: So, should I? And, if so...what do I take that won't have the s*xual side-effects and won't interfere w/ nursing? I will NOT give up nursing. Help? Thanks for listening and your advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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