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unfriending friends...what do you say? kinda long

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Long story short we had "friends" who were crazy compulsive liars. Me and DH were friends with the parents and dd was friends with their dd. The past year things got really bad and their dd was acting strange and being mean and my dd just did not want to hang out with her anymore. She would here and there because she is the other dd's only friend and she felt bad. These people go to our church too so we do have to see them there (well...when they come they dont come that often)


Things went way south between me and the parents to the point where I had to tell them they are not welcome here and my dd will never be allowed over to their house again because I could not trust them. I had to block them from my phone also. So, my dd still has to be around their dd at church and stuff. She is always cordial but that other dd constantly asks why she cant come over. I told dd just to say that its because my parents said so and if you have a question talk to them.


My dd is having her bday party today and I think the other girl already found out and is of course upset she wasnt invited. I know she will ask my dd why she wasnt invited and in turn will ask me.


What would you tell this child? We only see her at church and so she usually asks us stuff in front of people there. Should I just tell her to go ask her mother to explain it? Because her mother will lie and tell her ugly things about us. BTW- I was informed by the mother that her dd (who is 10) read all the texts between her and I :001_huh: I never cussed or said anything bad or anything I regret, I just spoke the truth....the mother texted crazy things and cussed and was hateful. She should be ashamed that she let her dd read them! Anyways her dd knows the situation due to her being allowed to read the texts so should I just say "due to the situation with your parents and I, I cannot trust them and so you cannot come over???"

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Oh wow! :grouphug: This certainly stinks. How many other people are coming to the party? If it is a small group, I might say dd could only invite X amount of people. The thing is, when someone is manipulative as a parent, the kids learn this too. You really don't owe her any explanation regarding why she wasn't invited. Too bad you can't just look at her funny or shrug your shoulders and not reply.

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I'd very kindly send her to talk to her mom about it. I like the idea of saying that the number of guests at the party is limited, if that is even remotely true.


I would not explain anything to the dd. If what you say, even if it's fairly noncommittal, conflicts in any way with what her mother says, the issue could blow up into something ugly. If she's likely to ask in public, you don't want to involve those standing by, even if their involvement is simply hearing that your families are "taking a break" from one another.



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I dont know if the mom was telling the truth about the texts of course cause she lies about everything.



I had 8 girls at the party. I was thinking of saying there was 8 person limit but she will just be mad she wasnt one of the 8. But oh well, right? I did cap the party at 8 dd had a way bigger list.

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I would tell her due to the situation with your parents and I, it just doesn't work out right now.


Simple without being hurtful.


This, with an "I'm sorry," at the end.


And I'm sorry for you too. They sound really off. What an awful thing to have happen to your friendship.:grouphug:


:iagree: I wouldn't go into party limits or talk about taking breaks. Just what Miss Moe said above. And with the "I'm sorry."


Don't do anything that sounds like bad-mouthing the parents, even if it's true and even if it doesn't sound like bad-mouthing to you.


I'm sorry too. :grouphug:

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thanks for asking! I was sick this morning and so we didnt go to church...I should of thought of that as option 3 :lol: J/K I was actually ill. But I am totally prepared for next week or if I see them before then. I would like to think an extra week to let the situation diffuse would be great, but they are so crazy that it could be a year down the road and they would act as if this happened yesterday. SIGH.

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