S/o - "extra" activities

[IsabelC]

I am sure this has already been discussed some time ago, but can't find the thread, so...

 

What do you think is the ideal number of extras and what do you define as extra?

 

A few years ago the Bloke and I brainstormed up a list of things we thought our kids "should" do to have a well rounded educational experience. He suggested about six sports he thought nobody should be unable to play (plus swimming, which we consider compulsory rather than extra-curricular, as somebody else mentioned), while I suggested that a musical minimum would be piano, vocal, one stringed instrument, one wind instrument and enough theory to write a bit of music. Add in dancing, drama and a few other random but apparently "essential" things and it quickly became clear that it wasn't going to be feasible to pay for it all for three kids, let alone find the time. :lol:

 

Since then we have been vacillating between nothing at all (on days when they are being badly behaved and ungrateful), one or two (specialize and get good at it strategy mentioned in another thread) and 'everything we possibly can' (because that's what I would have wanted as a kid).

[JenC3]

We are committed to one physical activity and one art based.

Everyone will take piano, b/c with 3 kids and maybe 4 if this one sticks I can't imagine running in 8 different directions.

 

Right now dd8 has 4.5 hrs of ballet a week, strictly classical and she is getting more serious and a 45 min piano lesson.

 

Ds6 does 30 minutes of piano and this year it's fall soccer. When soccer is over he'll do a 30 min tennis lesson once a week.

 

We have a pool so swimming is something everyone can do.

[Kathryn]

For our family, my ideal is one physical activity, one music, and scouting/4H. However, I don't think it's possible to be any less musically inclined than DS, so he's not doing anything extracurricular in that area.

[shanvan]

For our family, my ideal is one physical activity, one music, and scouting/4H. However, I don't think it's possible to be any less musically inclined than DS, so he's not doing anything extracurricular in that area.

 

This is pretty close to how we do things, except for older Ds volunteering is added. Then we have a few extras in the summer when we are not schooling. Occasionally there are some short term extras that creep in during the school year.

 

[chiguirre]

We've gone for "try them all", but mainly I look for getting out of the house everyday without going mad. We've also taken advantage of free and low cost stuff when it's available (and there's a surprising amount available through local hs groups). The kids are happy and dh and I are pleased with all the interesting things they've picked up.

[Desert Rat]

We require at least one physical activity. When my oldest was younger I required 2, one individual and one team. He is dropped the team sport now.

I'd love to do an instrument but, until recently, neither has shown an interest. Now, my youngest has taken a few guitar classes for free and wants to continue. I'm trying to figure out how to fit it in.

As it stands, my oldest has taekwondo and pokemon club. Pokeclub is his absolute favorite. He's my quirky kid and it's so good for him to be in this environment. He's learned so many good social skills here. It's on Saturday afternoon and we do make it a priority.

My youngest currently is in taekwondo, soccer, archery and pokemon club. And he's the one that wants to add guitar! He takes after my dh who played several sports at once in high school.

[klmama]

All our dc take part in a physical activity, art, music, and church activities. We try to have everyone involved, if at all possible, for a better use of our time. It has gotten harder as they get older, since each has developed a passion that diverges from the group. We accomodate that, though, and they are diligent about getting work done in order to keep the privilege.

[SKL]

My kids need to do something physical every day. Since it's usually not nice enough to play outside here, I sign them up for stuff, but on principal, I don't think they "need" coached sports other than self-defense and swimming. As for music, I'd like them to learn at least one instrument in each of the four main groups, but I'm not sure how realistic that is. They were taking piano and guitar for a while, but that was pretty stressful. I think they should have one (piano in our case) that they keep working on for a lifetime, and they can dabble in others so they know the basics of what they are.

 

I also want my kids to learn foreign languages and art. I'm not sure if you consider those "extras" or not.

 

I plan to look into 4H when the girls are 8. Volunteering is something we do as a family, but at the moment it's not a regularly scheduled activity. (I think that would be a good idea, though, if there is an opportunity.)

[angela in ohio]

We start out with a wide variety and then narrow it down as they get older. So our ideal number looks different at different ages. We do more outside the home than many homeschoolers, but dh and I are very involved as well, so it isn't as much a question of balance between the activities and family time. We came up with goals in the beginning, too, but then we listed them all together and tried to balance the different areas: physical, academic, arts, etc.

 

An example is music. When they were little, we did Kindermusik classes. They learn an instrument from each family of instruments, so there is a lot of exposure. When that ended at about 6 or 7, we put them in piano lessons. By 8, my oldest knew the instrument she loved, because they had a guest flute player at Kindermusik and she fell in love with it. So she has a wider background, but she specialized in the flute family.

 

Another example is art. They took general art classes from K to at least 8th grade, 1 1/2 hours per week consistently. They also took outside 6 or 8 week programs at the art museum, art stores, etc. By high school, though, they are narrowing it down. Older dd loves drafting and computer based art, so she is using the foundational skills to focus on that.

 

Some things I would do over. I wish that I had put them in ballet and required that. I wish that instead of playing a bit of soccer, a bit of t-ball, and general gym classes here and there, I had focused on tennis lessons and swim lessons consistently, or at least other sports that they could enjoy for life. I feel like I did a great job on managing arts and academics, but not the physical activities side as much.

[Parrothead]

I do not believe a kid who is not interested in sports should be forced to play. So sports are not mandatory here.

 

Dd does take a bunch of extras. This year she will participate in ballet, jazz, tap, tai chi, drama club, guitar. We will also do swimming once a week and Zumba as many days as we can fit it in.

[Dory]

We only allow for two things per kid for the majority of the year. One physical and one art. This year they are all in piano with my dd in ballet and my two boys will be in gymnastics. They all take swimming lessons for one week in the summer and they play down at the river with my FIL throughout the summer so the lessons are for their safety. We allow them the option of doing soccer or baseball or a basketball camp in the summer as well. During the summer there other two normals aren't happening though.

 

So basically, enough to keep them active throughout the summer and only two allowed in the winter.

 

I'm hoping that we aren't supposed to be counting church events.

[Ellie]

I am sure this has already been discussed some time ago, but can't find the thread, so...

 

What do you think is the ideal number of extras and what do you define as extra?

 

A few years ago the Bloke and I brainstormed up a list of things we thought our kids "should" do to have a well rounded educational experience. He suggested about six sports he thought nobody should be unable to play (plus swimming, which we consider compulsory rather than extra-curricular, as somebody else mentioned), while I suggested that a musical minimum would be piano, vocal, one stringed instrument, one wind instrument and enough theory to write a bit of music. Add in dancing, drama and a few other random but apparently "essential" things and it quickly became clear that it wasn't going to be feasible to pay for it all for three kids, let alone find the time. :lol:

 

Since then we have been vacillating between nothing at all (on days when they are being badly behaved and ungrateful), one or two (specialize and get good at it strategy mentioned in another thread) and 'everything we possibly can' (because that's what I would have wanted as a kid).

I don't think there's an "ideal" number of extras. :001_huh:

 

And I don't think of them as "extras." I think of sports, dance, music, etc., as thing which enrich my children's lives, and therefore not "extra."

 

"Too many" would mean being out of the house every.single.day for lessons/classes/activities. Of course, having only two children made that easier to stick to, lol.

 

My dds did ballet the first year we hsed (they were 7 and 4yo); the next year they started Highland dance; older dd only danced for a couple of years, younger dd did Highland for nine years, and then ballet (she's a ballet teacher now). They did soccer twice.

 

Dds also did Camp Fire as independents (a primary part of their education when they were little--the badgework was amazing), 4-H, youth band (including one year in color guard), and Missionettes and Pioneer Clubs at church.

Edited August 24, 2012 by Ellie

[tammyw]

I'm at the point of wondering if we are doing too many extras - in big part because it requires so much away-from-home time. On the other hand, they've tried many things and have finally settled on what they love best. It's really a challenge knowing what to do.

[Tess in the Burbs]

I know growing up we had a lot and then my parents said 2 but it was our choice(middle school age).

 

My kids have had opportunities as kids to do a lot of different things. I see them starting to specialize now and cutting back on their own due to time.

 

In the past music was important that even when dead broke they still had music lessons. Which both quit last year. One is still learning on her own, the other has no interest. They both learned a lot of music in those 2 years and was exposed to multiple instruments/teachers. If they want it again I will let them but for now I feel like that box is checked off. They had years of lessons in the instrument of their choice. THey chose to quit.

 

Sports I have always encouraged b/c I played so many growing up. Some years are more than others. Some years have been none. Right now both have a physical activity. Dd is team gymnastics. This is a huge commitment financially and time wise for our family so she's not allowed any other sports. Ds is doing soccer and basketball this year. And maybe a spring sport. It would be the most sports ever for him in a year.

 

Ds picked up scouts last winter and really enjoys it. It's not a huge commitment and cheap. So he's got two things right now: scouts and sports. And he's still home more than dd's gymnastics gig :tongue_smilie:

 

We have done art classes in the past. My attitude about that is every few years they need something more formal. Dd would do it all the time if she had time. Ds does it every few years at my insistence. A few more times and I will consider his art minimum fulfilled.

 

I pretty much want them exposed to a lot of things. When they find that passion they can stop jumping around and focus on their desire.

 

but we have limits in this process of 2-3 activities. This year Awana got dumped due to schedule. Ds is thrilled....he was over it, lol.

 

I think every family has to find their balance based on kids, time/schedules and financial ability. I will say that we have had years we did NOTHING. And enjoyed it. And years we were crazy busy(this year will be) and are looking forward to it.

[ErinE]

For our family, my ideal is one physical activity, one music, and scouting/4H. However, I don't think it's possible to be any less musically inclined than DS, so he's not doing anything extracurricular in that area.

 

This. I don't want to drive the kids all over town.

[BakersDozen]

I don't think there's an "ideal" number of extras.

:iagree:

 

Our decision regarding outside activities is not based on # but on time. We set aside M/T/Th/F as "at home" days and M/T/Th/F/Sa as at home nights. With rare exception nothing gets scheduled during those times as we want to preserve both family/together time and our sanity. :D

 

We also do not "require" activities of a certain nature. Our dc either jog/walk every day; for some, that will be the extent of their physical activities. Five of our dc participate in Irish stepdance (noncompetitive) and that's enough. We tried the whole soccer thing and it took over our life so never again will we choose something like that (and that was for only two kids!). I like that the majority of our activities involve quite a few dc (Awana, Bible Quiz, step dance).

 

I teach the dc piano for two years; after that, if they want to continue then we make it happen but we don't force them.

 

If "extra" activities result in a well-rounded education/child then my dc are rather square, lol. But I'm OK with that because we're not blowing the bank or our family together time running them here, there, and everywhere.

Edited August 24, 2012 by LuvnMySvn

[shanvan]

:iagree:

we're not blowing the bank or our family together time running them here, there, and everywhere.

 

Just wanted to add, that while I completely understand this reasoning, it is possible for extras to increase or at least incorporate family together time. For the most part we are also participating in the activities or monitoring them to see how to expand upon them at home and during school time. Most everything they are doing is a fmaily affair. Our entire family is involved in music, art, dog training, and evne ice skating (though Dh and I aren't as skilled in most of these areas :lol:). I posted this in the other thread too (sorry about the repetition).

[athena1277]

Unfortunately, our number of extras is largely dictated by the pocket book. We allow 1 year long activity or 2 semester activities (1 fall, 1 spring). Dd is currently very involved in AHG which does expose her to a fairly wide variety of things. We had planned for ds to do soccer this fall, but have had to chance plans due to being gone several weeks. We haven't decided but he will probably take a class at the nature center this fall and do spring soccer.

 

In my ideal world, they would be taking music lessons also, but that will have to wait a few years while we are trying to pay down debt.

[BakersDozen]

 

Just wanted to add, that while I completely understand this reasoning, it is possible for extras to increase or at least incorporate family together time.

Oh of course! I added into my post that some of our activities involve multiple family members (those are the activities we welcome more than individual activities). I do Awana with two of my dds actually in the club and two dds helping. It's a sweet time. I love seeing so many of my dc dancing together at step dance. Those activities definitely serve as family time (although even "family" activities can take away from full family time together which is why we limit even "family" activities during our week). :)

[AK_Mom4]

IMO - the "ideal" number of extra-curricular activities is exactly one less than the number that you can afford and fit into your schedule.

 

 

Better to have some free space in the budget and some down-time than to be stressed out paying for everything and on the go all the time.

[Cassy]

I don't think there's an "ideal" number of extras. :001_huh:

 

:iagree:

 

For us extras depend on the child's interests and our ability to pay. DS13 loves to be busy and wants to try everything, he also adores just being with other people; his 'extras' could be very expensive, but fortunately he's now at a good school that provides lots of afterschool clubs completely free. DS8, on the other hand, will try something once and then declare that he never wants to go back again; he prefers to stay at home, although some things are non-negotiable.

 

DS13, DS11 and DS8 all have piano lessons; DS13 also has trombone lessons, and DS11 cornet lessons. We spend a lot on music. They all having tennis and swimming lessons, twice a week, and badminton once a week. DS5 and DS8 will be starting drama in September. That's about the limit of what we can really afford, and it also seems to be enough for the boys, so I guess it's probably ideal :001_smile:.

[IsabelC]

IMO - the "ideal" number of extra-curricular activities is exactly one less than the number that you can afford and fit into your schedule.

 

 

Better to have some free space in the budget and some down-time than to be stressed out paying for everything and on the go all the time.

 

That seems like very sound advice.

We over-committed a bit this year because I'd failed to take into account that gymnastics would be much more expensive with two of the kids moving up from 45 minute classes to 90 minute classes. Plus we need to put aside money for the school holiday only programs they take part in several times a year.

 

We do manage to pick up some of the things we can't manage by trying them out informally as a family, eg we do a bit of archery in the backyard, and last weekend dh got them all practicing their rowing and tennis.

[NanceXToo]

I don't really think about an "ideal," I just try to let my kids try a few different things and stick with the ones they most want to stick with. And of course you have to be comfortable with the amount of driving, time spent, finances and so on, and they should seem to be getting enjoyment out of it and not just spreading themselves too thin that it's negatively affecting them and/or they aren't enjoying it.

 

My daughter (turning 12 in a few weeks) has done over the last year:

 

Girl Scouts (weekly)

Guitar lessons (weekly)

Judo (weekly)

 

Then there were the more sporadic things:

 

Book Club (every 3 weeks)

Homeschool Bowling League (weekly but just for a couple of months)

Homeschool Group Kickball games (sporadically)

Swim lessons (a couple of weeks over the summer)

Montessori summer camps (a few sporadic weeks over the summer)

 

In the past, she's tried gymnastics but ended up switching to judo, she's done a wilderness club type thing, she's done a 4H cooking club, etc.

 

My son, almost 7, does:

 

Teeball (spring/early summer)

Soccer (late summer/early fall)

Homeschool Bowling League (weekly but just for a couple of weeks fall/winter)

Homeschool Group Kickball games (sporadically)

Swim lessons (a couple of weeks in the summer)

Montessori summer camps (a few sporadic weeks over the summer)