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Frustrated AWANA volunteer follow up


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Thank you for all the kind replies. Things in my AWANA Sparks program are even worse coming up on week 4. I've told the people in charge that if there is no change, I will not be there for week 5 and beyond. This is my letter to everyone at the church I can find, as well as the local AWANA missionaries and the national AWANA office. Sorry it's long. Please tell me if I sound nuts, or if I'm being reasonable. Thanks for letting me vent.

 

"Dear Denise [staff member in charge of elementary ministries],

 

Just writing to keep you posted on our [church] kindergarten A-M Sparks class. Week 3 was even worse than week 1. If things are not different during week 4 next Wednesday, I will not return to kindergarten Sparks for week 5 or beyond. Fair warning.

 

Everything you said to me last week was appropriate, but unfortunately Mandy [commander] is not following through on your promises to provide a teacher in my room. As I emailed you last week, I thought things were better with the other parent who stepped up to help last week and promised to be here "every week". Last night, it all fell apart again.

 

I have copied the awana home office and the area awana missionaries on this letter. I hope one of them can offer some help with the [church] program. Under Ginger's leadership during the last two years, AWANA was well run and very beneficial to my two children. I had a good experience as a volunteer both years. I have been amazed at how much my son has learned in Sparks during the last two years. My daughter has been very excited about being a Sparkie this year like her big brother. I do not wish to give up on a good thing for my kids and see it just die under the new commander this year.

 

The parent who stepped up last week promising to be here weekly did not show last night, nor did he call. I was left at the last minute with 12 kids alone again, one of which is in a wheelchair with a broken leg. I can't properly supervise 12 kids and try to keep the one in the leg cast and wheelchair from hurting herself, or being hurt by one of the other kids. She insisted on scooting all over the room on the floor, and I had to keep putting her back in her wheelchair, while she's crying in frustration. I just don't want to see her get hurt.

 

Lindy (director) came in to help teach during handbook time at my request. I believe he would have left me to lead the class alone if I had allowed it, and the other three teachers were left alone with their classes. Behind closed doors.

 

My old church always told us categorically to never, ever, ever be alone with a group of kids in a closed room. No matter how many times I am left in that position at the last minute by the church leadership, I simply won't do it. AWANA guidelines also state there should be two teachers in each room and no closed doors. Your program is one misunderstanding away from a big mess.

 

When I talked to Mandy (AWANA commander) last night in our big room, and pointed out the other three handbook rooms with closed doors and only one teacher inside with the kids, she dismissed my concerns and said it was "ok in a church". Not in any church I've ever been to, it isn't. Every other youth group I've ever been involved with has enforced "two deep" leadership. This situation isn't fair to the volunteers or the kids.

 

Whoever is in charge of Cubbies at [church] does understand everything I've been saying for the last three weeks in Sparks. Many times during the last two years, when I showed up early at my daughter's choir/Cubbies room, I was told by the lone volunteer that he/she could not open the room until at least one more teacher showed up, and they didn't! We had to wait in the hall until two teachers were present.

 

They had lesson plans, resources, and always 3 teachers in a room that I saw in Cubbies. The student/teacher ratio seemed to be 3 teachers for about 12-15 students from what I saw.

 

I'm in a Sparks room with one teacher (me) for 12 students, no resources, no help, and I am told that I cannot turn away parents until another teacher is present. And my entire roll wasn't there last night. Week 1, I had 16 kids by myself! Why is child (and volunteer) protection suddenly not important in Sparks? Child protection is supposed to go way beyond age 4, at least in my experience at other churches and youth groups.

 

God Bless Lindy (the director), he's trying. I'm thankful he's here giving his time. Still, we just don't have enough teachers for the amount of kids. During handbook time, I was listening to verses and he was teaching. To be honest, I don't hear him teaching any prepared lessons. I hear him mostly just trying to keep the kids under control. He is having to raise his voice and be so firm with the kids just to keep them under control that it's not the loving, learning environment it should be. That is not Lindy's fault, he's doing his best under the circumstances. I understand he was "promoted" to being director at the very last minute. God Bless him for being willing to try, but he needs some support, any support, from the church.

 

This is not good for my daughter. I don't bring my child to AWANA just to color and have her group scolded constantly the whole time. The well behaved kids like my daughter barely get any attention at all. The leaders spend all their time just trying to control the kids who run crazy and don't listen. And of course, the parents of the poorly behaved kids are the ones who "don't have time" to volunteer.

 

I actually had one parent get very upset with me last week because when she told me her child frequently hit other children and I had "better not let him hit nobody [sic]", I told her (nicely but firmly) that if he hit anyone, I'd have to call her to pick him up. Last I saw of her, she was writing down my name from my security badge and huffing off to file a complaint about me for "being rude" and "not doing my job".

 

I am the only one checking kids out at the end since my handbook room is closest to the exit of the big room and we have all the kids in the big room at the end of class. I had kids running past me and all around me to their parents. I don't think I'm doing an adequate job checking security tags, although I am trying. One person cannot carefully check out and verify the security tags for 35-40 kids in a 10 minute period. (I have to leave to get my son before the other 10 straggler parents finally show up) At any one moment, I have several parents giving me concerned looks and asking if I need to check their security tags. More than one person needs to be doing that job for a group of 50 children.

 

In the large group at the end, Lindy and one of the other male teachers were mostly barking at the kids to sit down, stop pushing each other, etc. I was frantically trying to make sure I didn't miss any security tags as the parents picked up. The other two teachers were around trying to help kids find their things.

 

It's not a teaching environment, it's a "sit down and shut up" environment. I don't mean that to be critical of Lindy. When you have a room of 50 five year olds, some on the wild side, two teachers can't do much else but yell to keep them in control. Still, this is not the loving environment we had in AWANA 1st grade last year with Karolyn for my son. There was no teaching. No Bible lesson at all. There was corralling, yelling, and just trying to keep a lid on things.

 

And forget taking kids for water or the potty. It's impossible. Thankfully, I didn't have any injuries to try to help tonight like I did the first night, other than trying to look after the child with the broken leg.

 

There are no prepared lessons at all. We've been hearing about "teacher guides" from Mandy for over a month, but we still have none in our room. Mandy has not provided any resources for lessons. She referred us to awana.org and gave us the church id number to register, but there are no lessons there either. There is a page of articles with tips for theme nights and some clip art, but no prepared lessons (unless I want to go buy their books, of course).

 

All I kept hearing at the training session on the 15th with Mandy is that I need to "use my creativity" to "sing a song", "do a rap" (yes, she really said that), etc. to teach the kids.

 

Please get real. I barely have time in my week to get my kids and myself to AWANA at all. I have a small business, Cub Scouts, PTA, and all the other things that go with being a parent. Anyone who thinks I have time to write original lessons, write a rap song to deliver, etc. is crazy. I am not LL Cool J. I cannot teach 12 kids, and listen to 12 kids say their verses individually, and deal with injuries/potty/water/and who's pushing who and why are they crying now -- all at the same time!

 

I don't have time to "use my creativity". I am used to having leadership provide prepared lessons (like they did at [my old church]). We didn't have to reinvent the wheel over and over again.

 

(continued)

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(continued)

 

I have parents stopping me in the halls to ask me perfectly reasonable questions about what the kids are supposed to be learning that week, and since we have no lesson plan, I have no idea what to tell them. All that really happens are games, coloring sheets, and yelling at the kids to sit down. I am going to quit wearing my security lanyard in the halls because I don't know what to tell people when they ask.

 

I asked to speak with Mandy last night. She keeps saying "she's new" and to "please see her heart and be patient". Lindy is also new. Why on earth is everyone in charge of the program new? Why are there no lesson plans? And this year [church] is implementing a brand new program where they tell us they want us to teach the kids prepared lessons in class every week instead of the parents teaching at home, and yet we are given no resources with which to do that, plus the commander in charge keeps telling us she's new, she's praying for us, and she doesn't know anything about AWANA at all. There are lots of very experienced AWANA volunteers at FBCW they could have hired to run the program. Why is the only paid person in charge totally inexperienced and I hate to say it, not qualified to do the job.

 

Sorry Mandy, but in your own words, you've never run a volunteer staff, you've never been an AWANA volunteer yourself, you're learning about Sparks from scratch, you have no resources for us, and you've ignored every child protection directive I've had drilled into my head from 10 years of working in other churches and youth groups. I have no doubt that you have a good heart, great faith, and the best of intentions, but you simply have no experience and you aren't providing any resources to the teachers. You are not qualified to be the AWANA commander. Please, Denise, help Mandy get up to speed, or get someone who has actual experience running this type of ministry. Having a good heart and great intentions aren't enough.

 

I asked Mandy about hiring more church staff for the program. She said she'd "lose her volunteers" if she did that, and it "wasn't a good use of church money". Well my old church had paid church staff all over the childcare program, and they had an abundance of volunteers. I never felt stranded there like I do here. Mandy will lose her volunteers if she *doesn't* get them some help.

 

I am very, very, very tired of having Mandy tell me in response to all of my questions that "she is praying and the Lord will provide". As of last night, she still has no other constructive help to offer other than "she's praying and asking for more volunteers".

 

Mandy actually told me once in response to my concerns about the lack of curriculum, basic child protection, and proper teacher/student ratios that I need " to stay faithful to Him so that when we serve it is out of a heart of gratitude to Jesus" That's not an answer! It's insulting to cast a volunteer's legitimate concerns as a lack of faith. It borders on ecclesiastical abuse.

 

I believe in prayer too, but prayer is not an excuse for lack or organization and planning. I have no doubt that Karolyn (director of my son's 1st grade class last year in which I volunteered) has great faith, but she is also very well organized and supports her volunteers well. I would love to be in her class again right now.

 

I've been involved in various church and youth ministries for over 10 years, at [old church], [other old church], and Cub Scouts. All of those groups have resources, plans, organization, and frankly limits. In all of those groups, parents of participating children are expected to volunteer, two deep leadership is enforced, lesson plans are provided, and if the necessary volunteers are not present, the room is closed. Mandy has told me repeatedly that she is unwilling to require parents of participating children to help (like they do in the summer Wednesday night program) or limit enrollment to the number of kids that can be served by the number of volunteers we have, which I've read other churches do.

 

I am seriously considering quitting. I really hate to do that, but this is a very unpleasant environment for my child and for me. Nobody is learning anything in class. There is no Bible lesson, and evidently will never be unless I start writing them every week from scratch myself. Game time goes ok, but the rest of the time for the kids is coloring and being scolded. I don't need to drive an hour round trip for that every week. My daughter wants to be a Sparkie and has looked forward to this, but she seems disappointed and confused. As am I. I don't think my own kindergarten daughter enjoyed last night very much. She doesn't deserve to sit in a room and listed to Lindy scold the group most of the time. She certainly isn't being taught anything.

 

Did I mention that I only volunteered to be a listener because my job requires occasional trips out of town and there are some nights when I cannot be here? I cannot be the leader, no matter how I am bullied into that position by the total lack of response from the people in charge. What on earth will you do the first night I have to go out of town and can't be there? I am ready to take my child and go!

 

For next Wednesday, these are my expectations:

 

-The church will provide a teacher manual and lesson plan. And I don't mean five minutes before class starts, either.

-The church will provide a teacher in the Yellow room. I will be a listener, as I volunteered to be in the first place.

-At no time will I be left alone with the kids.

-The church will provide a large group lesson for the director to give. He is left to just do crowd control. It isn't fair to Lindy, and it isn't fair to the kids.

 

If I show up next Wednesday at 6:40, and I am left with zero help or resources as I was last night, again, I will simply turn around and leave with my child on the spot. I am tired of being ignored.

 

K____ _____"

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Don't send it.

 

I'd want to put it on the evening news, the situation is so bad, so please don't think I'm unsympathetic. I just don't think actually sending this will accomplish your goals or do any good.

 

Option 1:

 

I would just say,

 

"Dear Denise,

I am no longer available to volunteer with AWANA, and I am withdrawing my daughter from the program. Effective immediately.

Sincerely,

Name."

 

You've tried to talk with people about it, and nothing changes. You and DD are miserable at Bible class! That is so...unproductive. So useless. I would shake the dirt off my feet and move on, leaving these people to draw their own conclusions if they have the sense to even wonder why they can't get volunteers.

 

Option 2:

 

If you must send something explaining what you've gone through, and I do understand that desire, what about something very brief, organized, and non-emotional:

 

Dear ______,

 

I am no longer available to volunteer with AWANA in this church for these reasons:

 

1. (poor communication)

2. (refusal of leadership to comply with AWANA policy)

3. (leading to inability to keep children safe and taught)

 

Also, I am withdrawing my daughter from the program for these reasons:

 

1. (unable to trust the program due to intimate knowledge of above factors)

2. (child can't learn in a chaotic environment)

3. (child wants to learn and participate, not sit and listen to scolding)

 

Last Wednesday was our final day in this program.

Sincerely,

Name

 

But please, consider option #1. Stop the train wreck and get on with a happy life outside of this experience. :grouphug:

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Way, way too long. Sum it up in 3-5 paragraphs:

 

• There is not enough staff to keep the children safe, maintain a calm environment, and facilitate learning.

• There are no lesson plans.

• Promised changes have not been made.

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Advice from one who's been there and lived to have it come back and bite me in a big way: don't send it and don't put anything substantial such as this in writing. Pick up the phone or send a brief email stating what your last date to volunteer will be in this position. If you're inclined mention that you'd be glad to continue on as a listener after that time. If she wants to know more about your reasonings she can always call or get together to discuss.

 

I'd also suggest removing this letter from this very busy site, especially if you've used real names.

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Way, way too long. Sum it up in 3-5 paragraphs:

 

• There is not enough staff to keep the children safe, maintain a calm environment, and facilitate learning.

• There are no lesson plans.

• Promised changes have not been made.

:iagree:

 

This will be dismissed as an angry, finger-pointing rant.

 

The point I would make would be "If our church does not have the staff for this program, our church should not be having this program. To attempt to do it otherwise is foolish, as it does not promote a safe environment for teachers or children. Because of this lack, I will not be participating any longer, nor do I feel that this is a good place for me to leave my children."

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Don't send it.

 

 

Option 2:

 

If you must send something explaining what you've gone through, and I do understand that desire, what about something very brief, organized, and non-emotional:

 

Dear ______,

 

I am no longer available to volunteer with AWANA in this church for these reasons:

 

1. (poor communication)

2. (refusal of leadership to comply with AWANA policy)

3. (leading to inability to keep children safe and taught)

 

Also, I am withdrawing my daughter from the program for these reasons:

 

1. (unable to trust the program due to intimate knowledge of above factors)

2. (child can't learn in a chaotic environment)

3. (child wants to learn and participate, not sit and listen to scolding)

 

Last Wednesday was our final day in this program.

Sincerely,

Name

 

 

 

since it sounds like you want this to work try to be direct without the long letter. I once sent a long letter admonishing a church for not having 2 deep leadership after watching a child walk out of the building and a stranger walking in, allowing offenders in kid programs and playing secular music at VBS. I was sent a short reply from the pastor he hoped I found a church that fit my needs. :001_huh: You pointing out the issues won't solve it. It would take a massive group to get anyone's attention. Move on. Find another group.

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You may be reasonable, but it is waaaay too long. Cut about 80%, substitute bullet points where possible, and then submit within your church only. Not to Awana missionaries or anyone else.

 

Terri

 

:iagree:

 

This will be dismissed as an angry, finger-pointing rant.

 

The point I would make would be "If our church does not have the staff for this program, our church should not be having this program. To attempt to do it otherwise is foolish, as it does not promote a safe environment for teachers or children. Because of this lack, I will not be participating any longer, nor do I feel that this is a good place for me to leave my children."

:iagree:

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since it sounds like you want this to work try to be direct without the long letter. I once sent a long letter admonishing a church for not having 2 deep leadership after watching a child walk out of the building and a stranger walking in, allowing offenders in kid programs and playing secular music at VBS. I was sent a short reply from the pastor he hoped I found a church that fit my needs. :001_huh: You pointing out the issues won't solve it. It would take a massive group to get anyone's attention. Move on. Find another group.

Once volunteers begin deserting, the issues will be apparent.

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You may be reasonable, but it is waaaay too long. Cut about 80%, substitute bullet points where possible, and then submit within your church only. Not to Awana missionaries or anyone else.

 

 

Advice from one who's been there and lived to have it come back and bite me in a big way: don't send it and don't put anything substantial such as this in writing. Pick up the phone or send a brief email stating what your last date to volunteer will be in this position. If you're inclined mention that you'd be glad to continue on as a listener after that time. If she wants to know more about your reasonings she can always call or get together to discuss.

 

I'd also suggest removing this letter from this very busy site, especially if you've used real names.

 

I agree with ALL of this. It is way too long. It is way too personal. There are way too many personal feelings toward one person that are being aired in writing and sent to many people. You're just going to be labeled as the crazy trouble maker instead of the concerned volunteer.

 

Fairfarmhand said it well too.

 

You need three paragraphs, listing your concerns *without* getting personal.

1. We do not have adequate coverage in the rooms. I'm sure there are recommended child/adult ratios listed somewhere on the AWANA site. Find out what they are. Use the AWANA program's guidelines as the reason, not your emotions.

 

This might look something like this:

"AWANAS recommends that no adult be alone with the kids and the following rations are recommended: fill in ratios here. We need more adults to maintain these ratios or we cannot fulfill the needs of the kids."

 

2. We do not have the leader resources available to us. Again, AWANAS offers training for adult leaders, books, etc.

 

"Who is responsible for training leaders? I did not originally volunteer for a leader role, but there has been no leader come forth. I feel unprepared for this position. I have not received any of the training, leader books or resources to allow me to plan meetings. I'm sure other leaders are in the same position. How can we fix this?"

 

3. Promises not kept. Emphasize that you are working through the "chain of command."

 

"I have already spoken with the commander, but haven't really had a positive response. I'm hoping you can help us more forward with making this program a functional one. If we cannot fix it, then I'm afraid that I will not be able to continue participating with my children."

 

Send it only to the pastor in charge of small groups/children's ministry and cc the commander.

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I appreciate the replies.

 

Walking away is not a good option for me. This kindergarten Sparks class is a continuation of the same group of friends she's had for two years in Cubbies and preschool. My daughter has been *very* excited about being a Spark this year, and will be very disappointed if we leave.

 

Also, since we live in another county from the church, and my kids are in public school, this is the only opportunity each week for her (and my son) to get together with this very positive and well-established group of Christian friends. I do not wish to see them lose the influence of this peer group.

 

Our own church close to our home is great on Sunday, but has no Wednesday night church program.

 

My hope was to fix, not abandon, especially since the program had been great until the new commander showed up this year.

 

I appreciate the opportunity to vent and the feedback,

 

K

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I appreciate the replies.

 

Walking away is not a good option for me. This kindergarten Sparks class is a continuation of the same group of friends she's had for two years in Cubbies and preschool. My daughter has been *very* excited about being a Spark this year, and will be very disappointed if we leave.

 

Also, since we live in another county from the church, and my kids are in public school, this is the only opportunity each week for her (and my son) to get together with this very positive and well-established group of Christian friends. I do not wish to see them lose the influence of this peer group.

 

Our own church close to our home is great on Sunday, but has no Wednesday night church program.

 

My hope was to fix, not abandon, especially since the program had been great until the new commander showed up this year.

 

I appreciate the opportunity to vent and the feedback,

 

K

 

 

okay then...

 

hmmmm.....

 

I'd frame it as a desperate need for improvement and letting other people know what is going on with the program.

 

I would leave out the play by play and address the overarching issues...lack of planning, lack of adults, lack of structure and training.

 

I'd also mention the liability of security issues and the need for re-thinking the pick up of children at the end of the evening.

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I'd keep it mostly as-is. Yes, it's long. Yes, it gets personal. I think it needs to be so that there is a clear picture.

 

The only things I would remove are "the well behaved ones like my daughter" and similar statements. I would make those more impersonal: "the well behaved ones don't get the attention they need."

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I agree with ALL of this. It is way too long. It is way too personal. There are way too many personal feelings toward one person that are being aired in writing and sent to many people. You're just going to be labeled as the crazy trouble maker instead of the concerned volunteer.

 

Fairfarmhand said it well too.

 

You need three paragraphs, listing your concerns *without* getting personal.

1. We do not have adequate coverage in the rooms. I'm sure there are recommended child/adult ratios listed somewhere on the AWANA site. Find out what they are. Use the AWANA program's guidelines as the reason, not your emotions.

 

This might look something like this:

"AWANAS recommends that no adult be alone with the kids and the following rations are recommended: fill in ratios here. We need more adults to maintain these ratios or we cannot fulfill the needs of the kids."

 

2. We do not have the leader resources available to us. Again, AWANAS offers training for adult leaders, books, etc.

 

"Who is responsible for training leaders? I did not originally volunteer for a leader role, but there has been no leader come forth. I feel unprepared for this position. I have not received any of the training, leader books or resources to allow me to plan meetings. I'm sure other leaders are in the same position. How can we fix this?"

 

3. Promises not kept. Emphasize that you are working through the "chain of command."

 

"I have already spoken with the commander, but haven't really had a positive response. I'm hoping you can help us more forward with making this program a functional one. If we cannot fix it, then I'm afraid that I will not be able to continue participating with my children."

 

Send it only to the pastor in charge of small groups/children's ministry and cc the commander.

 

:iagree:

 

Also stop ranting about specific people.

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Also stop ranting about specific people.

 

Anything personal (comments about specific people) or subjective (my old church, my well-behaved daughter) is easy to dismiss as you having a personal problem. Explaining what AWANAS expects from top down, from an objective perspective? That is difficult to dismiss as a personality conflict.

 

eta: Can I just ask, how did you come across this board and decide to ask us? You don't homeschool, these are your first posts...it just seems kind of odd, so I was wondering?

Edited by Mrs Mungo
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I appreciate the replies.

 

Walking away is not a good option for me. This kindergarten Sparks class is a continuation of the same group of friends she's had for two years in Cubbies and preschool. My daughter has been *very* excited about being a Spark this year, and will be very disappointed if we leave.

 

Also, since we live in another county from the church, and my kids are in public school, this is the only opportunity each week for her (and my son) to get together with this very positive and well-established group of Christian friends. I do not wish to see them lose the influence of this peer group.

 

Our own church close to our home is great on Sunday, but has no Wednesday night church program.

 

My hope was to fix, not abandon, especially since the program had been great until the new commander showed up this year.

 

I appreciate the opportunity to vent and the feedback,

 

K

 

To the bolded: if things are as dire as you indicate, why on earth would you want your child to stay in that environment?

 

Your letter is way too long, and frankly, you repeat the same issues over and over. I 'hear' the frustration in your letter. Perhaps you should sleep on it for a night, then come back and revise the letter to be less personal. "Just the facts" will gain you a larger audience than what appears to be a rant.

 

One other thought - you threatened to leave with your DD if your conditions are not met. I would leave first, then answer questions later. If you send this letter, and conditions ARE met, you will be viewed as a 'problem', rather than a solution to the many issues this program has.

 

BTW, I DO think your frustrations are valid.

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Well, I've arrived at a good resolution, yay.

 

I sent the note, and got a fairly rude reply from the head of the elementary ministry. She views the one teacher issue as not a problem, etc.

 

On the upside, she said I could "feel free" to return to the 1st grade sparks class where I volunteered last year with my son. That teacher is a 20 year veteran and very supportive of her volunteers, so no surprise, she has plenty of volunteers in her room.

 

Cool with me. I told her I'd be in the first grade class this Wednesday. My kindergarten daughter is reading and will be fine with the 1st grade curriculum. I've taught both grade levels, and it's not that big a leap.

E

My daughter can still see her friends in choir before Awana, and then go do sparks in a positive environment with a mom who has time for her instead of a mom frazzled to a crisp.

 

Yay!

 

Someone asked why I'm posting here when I don't homeschool. I googled for Awana discussions and found some here. Seemed a good place to ask. I appreciate the feedback.

 

Thanks,

 

K

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