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What do you do/say when your 3yo starts to


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surpass your almost 9yrs old.


He is starting to solve problems and do things that my 9yrs old just managed to do recently.


It is freaking me out a little bit.


It is freaking out the whole family actually. My 9yrs old is the youngest right before the 3yr olds.


He wants to be challenged more. He wants to be learning right along with the older ones. Today he was saying "Non est" means "Not is"

This is not normal is it?


I feel for my 9yrs old.

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These were some things we used to say.


Different isn't good. Different isn't bad. Different isn't average, but it is normal. Different is just different, and it's NO BIG DEAL!


We all have our strengths and weaknesses. MANY of the most gifted children also have some major weaknesses, that become more and more pronounced as they mature.


My "gifted" child zoomed past his older brother, and then his older brother zoomed right back by him, when the need to be well rounded adults presented itself.


Again. Different isn't good. Different isn't bad. Different isn't average, but it is normal. Different is just different, and it's NO BIG DEAL!


When people stare with mouths open, tell them that's a good way to accidently swallow a fly.

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IMO, you have to let the children be who they are going to be. You can't cover up reality and it does the child with limitations no good let them think they are something they are not. If the child finds out that you are so uncomfortable with his or her abilities that you are trying to hide it, this knowledge will only serve to lower the child's self-esteem.



A child with certain physical, emotional or intellectual limitations is going to have to live with those limitations forever. There may be therapies, treatments, etc. that can improve their condition or teach them coping skills, but there will always be something there. The worst thing you can do for that child is allow them to think there is anything wrong with them being exacty who they are. Value the child for who they are not what he or she can do and teach the child to do the same. Celebrate the clever quick child's victories and the struggling child's victories the same.



With my own children, when I recognize that they are uncomfortable with who they are, we talk about it. But I always make very clear that they each have their own path to follow. Some of them may travel farther than others, but each has a special journey of his or her own.


Disclaimer: The strongly held opinions come not only from my own upbringing as the younger, quicker one but also my own children, one of whom has physical and other limitations.

Edited by MomatHWTK
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Everyone has different strengths. My oldest son was reading at university level in kindergarten, but can't do math to save his life. My daughter is doing two levels of math a year because she loves it so much, but can't spell. My youngest has taught himself to read but is so uncoordinated that he can trip on level ground.


Let them do what they're going to do, help with the weaker areas, and don't compare apples, oranges, and bananas unless you want them to rot.

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There isn't anything that you really can do about it. My 2 yr old is doing it to my 7 yr old. She'll be sitting in another room playing and hear me ask the 7 yr old "what does "i---r" say when she is having difficulty sounding out a word. A little toddler voice will pipe in from the other room "er ir ur the rooster's wild." (And no, my 2 yr old does not know how to read or even her letters, but she has learned all the sounds and how I discuss them w/my 7 yr old.)


I don't "do" anything about it b/c they are who they are. My kids are definitely all over the place academically. My 11th grader left his older sister behind when he was in 8th grade. My 8th grade dd surpassed her 11 th grade brother in lit, writing, and foreign languages when she was in 6th grade. It doesn't reflect on any of them individually. Everyone has their own weaknesses/strengths and they have to learn to accept who they are. (They also have a disabled adult brother, an Aspie, so they and he are aware of significant differences as well.)


Such is life.

Edited by 8FillTheHeart
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don't compare apples, oranges, and bananas unless you want them to rot.


Love it!



Some of the younger ones have the listening/learning capacity to pick things up quickly at an age that frightens us adults (and intimidates some other siblings). Roll with it.

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