amy g. Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 After 17 years, I'm afraid I'm going to end up leaving the Episcopal Church, and not because of the stance on homosexuality. In the past, we have gone to historic, urban, traditional churches, and loved them. Now that we have moved, our choices are really limited. We have been going to the one Episcopal church that is not too far away for a year and a half. I just can't stand it anymore. The music is horrible. The 12 year olds wear high heels and micro minis. The Children's minister's daughter is a brat who yells in her father's face, and pushes in front of the cross in the processional. Most of the men act like frat boys. The priest's wife is the music director, even though she can't read music. She is too threated to let anyone who can read music on the worship team. The youth minister acts as materialistic and immature as the kids! I know that I have a problem being judgmental, but, really, I've gone to other churches for years and not seen people like this in leadership positions. I visited a Reformed church, and felt very at home with the homeschooling quiver full moms. My daughters LOVED the children there, but I worry, about my family's being too liberal to make that church a long term fit. In all fairness, I think my church is just reflecting our modern culture. Since we homeschool, and don't watch TV, church is one of the only places we see how most people live. I just wonder why we should even go to church when it feels like the most secular thing we do all week. We are going to visit the local Catholic church next week. My Dh is Catholic, even though we have attended the Episcopal church for our entire marriage. We know and respect some of the men in that parish from my son's Boy Scout troop. I know there will be people I can't identify with everywhere I go, but at least the music can not be any worse! Sorry for this long rant. I think I am having a mid-life crisis. Things I never thought I'd question don't seem important any more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andie Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 I'm sorry you're faced with this. I hope you find what you're looking for! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in VA Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 After 17 years, I'm afraid I'm going to end up leaving the Episcopal Church, and not because of the stance on homosexuality. In the past, we have gone to historic, urban, traditional churches, and loved them. Now that we have moved, our choices are really limited. We have been going to the one Episcopal church that is not too far away for a year and a half. I just can't stand it anymore. The music is horrible. The 12 year olds wear high heels and micro minis. The Children's minister's daughter is a brat who yells in her father's face, and pushes in front of the cross in the processional. Most of the men act like frat boys. The priest's wife is the music director, even though she can't read music. She is too threated to let anyone who can read music on the worship team. The youth minister acts as materialistic and immature as the kids! I know that I have a problem being judgmental, but, really, I've gone to other churches for years and not seen people like this in leadership positions. I visited a Reformed church, and felt very at home with the homeschooling quiver full moms. My daughters LOVED the children there, but I worry, about my family's being too liberal to make that church a long term fit. In all fairness, I think my church is just reflecting our modern culture. Since we homeschool, and don't watch TV, church is one of the only places we see how most people live. I just wonder why we should even go to church when it feels like the most secular thing we do all week. We are going to visit the local Catholic church next week. My Dh is Catholic, even though we have attended the Episcopal church for our entire marriage. We know and respect some of the men in that parish from my son's Boy Scout troop. I know there will be people I can't identify with everywhere I go, but at least the music can not be any worse! Sorry for this long rant. I think I am having a mid-life crisis. Things I never thought I'd question don't seem important any more. I just wanted to say that it is not being judgmental to discern error in a church. The Bible is clear about what a church is and the "church" you are describing is nothing like it. You are responsible to discern error from truth and that is not being judgmental in the negative sense. We must use our judgment every single day a million times a day. Jesus said that we would be judged using the same judgment we use. That is a different thing altogether. That does not preclude using our good judgment to discern when the church we are attending is not following the Biblical model of a church. (There are books on that subject so I will not attempt to cover that here.) Just because the sign on the door says "church" does not make it a church. You must go where you hear Christ being preached and the members are living their lives to honor him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BakersDozen Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 I just wonder why we should even go to church when it feels like the most secular thing we do all week. Oh do I understand this! Our church search has been discouraging because of all the things you stated above. We want to be discerning about where we worship and mostly who are dc are around as we head into the teen years. I hope God leads you to where He wants you to be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mazakaal Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope you can find a church where you feel comfortable, where you're fed spiritually and are among like-minded believers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy g. Posted July 13, 2008 Author Share Posted July 13, 2008 Right now, I feel like I don't ever want to go back. Should I just disappear, or tell our priest that we are leaving? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom to Aly Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 Well, if you have seen any of my posts, you will know I am a non-Christian in the Bible Belt, having probs with that lately. So, this is a totally outside view, but, I would say, leave your church and let the preacher know why, otherwise, he will never understand what may be inappropriate in his church. If you don't feel you can do it in person, do it in as polite a letter as possible. Then, go to other churches until you find one that is a good fit. Even if you think there is one that is good, visit a few others, you may find one that is better. Just one visit can change your life. I went to Catholic Church for years, even though I am Hindu, because there was no Hindu Temple near me. I don't believe you need to go to a religious institution for prayer, but I loved the ritualisticness, the singing, the whole thing, and it made me feel really good, so I went. I got to know the priest, who knew I was Hindu, and it was a wonderful experience for me. Also, if you think it will benefit your children, don't abandon that because of a bad experience. Let them enjoy the fellowship and camraderie something like church can bring them. We have no Hindu Temple near us, and have tried churches here, but each one has been so intent on converting us, it has been too negative an experience to repeat. We tried a Unitarian Church, but it was more political than anything else, and not what I would call religious. We haven't found a good fit yet. We'll keep trying. I hope you do too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginger Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 Amy, I'm going through something similar at my church. I've finally got fed up to the point of searching out a new one mostly due to the fact the our pastor's 10 and 12 year old daughters carry Coach purses. And my kids play Guitar Hero in Sunday school. I'd love to hear if anyone thinks I'm overreacting on those things--as I basically do love the people of our church. The past month we've been visiting other churches. This week I'm helping out at our church's VBS, and I know I should talk to the children's pastor about my concerns...I just don't know if I am brave enough. So if I were you, I'd use the summer to look around for something else. Being summer, people may just assume you are on vacation so you might not have to answer questions as to your absence. Good luck...let us know what happens. Ginger Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kribby Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 so sorry you are going through this hope you find something to make you all feel happy. I would let them know why you are leaving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in VA Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 Amy, I'm going through something similar at my church. I've finally got fed up to the point of searching out a new one mostly due to the fact the our pastor's 10 and 12 year old daughters carry Coach purses. And my kids play Guitar Hero in Sunday school. I'd love to hear if anyone thinks I'm overreacting on those things--as I basically do love the people of our church. The past month we've been visiting other churches. This week I'm helping out at our church's VBS, and I know I should talk to the children's pastor about my concerns...I just don't know if I am brave enough. So if I were you, I'd use the summer to look around for something else. Being summer, people may just assume you are on vacation so you might not have to answer questions as to your absence. Good luck...let us know what happens. Ginger Guitar Hero in Sunday School is a bit odd - but the Coach purses may have been gifts. I know mine was. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HollyDay Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 Welcome to the modern church. When we moved 4 years ago we were faced with the same thing. Either the church was so worldly that there was no distinction between its behavior and that of the world. Or it was so "sheep beating" that it was a misery to attend. I think I would try the reformed church and see. We had similar reasons for going to a reformed church this past year. We stayed 7 months. The teaching was very good. There were many homeschool families. The tone of the church however was not very welcoming or gracious. Is there a Calvary Chapel nearby?? They tend to be true to scripture but more relaxed. I feel your struggle because we have been there too. Pray for direction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 Amy, I'm going through something similar at my church. I've finally got fed up to the point of searching out a new one mostly due to the fact the our pastor's 10 and 12 year old daughters carry Coach purses. And my kids play Guitar Hero in Sunday school. I'd love to hear if anyone thinks I'm overreacting on those things--as I basically do love the people of our church. Ginger I don't think you are overreacting about the guitar hero but maybe a little about the Coach purses. I love Coach purses and sometimes when I am done with one I will give it to my friend's daughter who happens to be 12yo. She loves them! And it has no bearing whatsoever on her love for Christ. But guitar hero in sunday school would bug me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 We had similar reasons for going to a reformed church this past year. We stayed 7 months. The teaching was very good. There were many homeschool families. The tone of the church however was not very welcoming or gracious. Ditto. We ended up at a Reformed church for about a year but they were "hyper-calvinists" and we do not hold to that theology so we chose to leave. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frontier Mom Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 So sorry. Wish you could come to mine. It's great!! The church is part of the family and not having one you like just stinks. Sorry, I know that isn't very theological, but just true. Don't let one church keep you away. Find a church that ministers to you and your family. I find the relationship with God more important than denomination lines anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dayle in Guatemala Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 I know that I have a problem being judgmental, but, really, I've gone to other churches for years and not seen people like this in leadership positions. I guess I didn't see judgmentalism in your post. You are just citing what you are seeing and saying that since, in your opinion, that church seems to reflect more of the culture that you like, you feel you want to go somewhere else. That's just seeing things for what they are and deciding they aren't for you! I hope you find somewhere you can call home! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PariSarah Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 I have a few thoughts that you can take or leave, as they seem helpful to you. * Do you know why you are Episcopalian? I didn't join my denomination until I was an adult (relatively speaking :D), and when I feel tempted to abandon my poor sinking ship, I think about the process of discernment we went through, about the reasons we bought a ticket on this leaky boat, as opposed to all the other leaky boats out there. Time and again, I'm forced to the conclusion that no denomination is perfect, and that I can live with my denomination's flaws because its good features are really important to me. If you have just always happened to go to Episcopalian churches, you might not feel the same way. It might be a very good idea for you to change denominations (or become Catholic). But I do heartily recommend doing a little research into the history and doctrines of any church you join. You'll find much to disappoint you in ALL of them. And much to give you hope. * Sometimes individual Christians are called to prophetic ministries--calling others around them to a more faithful living out of the gospel. This is one of the hardest ministries in the church, and it takes a lot more love than it sounds like you have for your current church. So, yes, it does sound like moving is a good idea. Yes, I would tell the priest. If you can't do this calmly and lovingly in person, write the gentlest but most honest letter (not email) you can. * I honestly try to encourage people to look for churches where you have both points of contact (feeling "at home") and points of discontinuity (meeting a lot of people who aren't just like you). I am continually amazed at the strange lives of faithfulness God keeps calling people to. I've seen genuine discipleship in MANY different clothes. The same thing I said above about denominations applies to individual churches. You'll find a lot to give you pause, and a lot to give you hope. The more open you are to learning from and being with people who are different from you--maybe even who make you feel a little uncomfortable--the more hopeful you'll be. There. I've done it. I've lapsed into sermonizing. It's because I've been away from my work for three days now, and all that theology up there is just bursting to get out. I'm sorry for bursting it all on you. I do wish you peace as you try to find a worshiping community you can call home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 Amy, I'm so sorry that you have to go thru this. I'm the wife of an Episcopalian priest, and we definitely have family issues. People have been very kind, but we are an example of fallen humans, that's for sure.I'm sorry your pastoring family sucks. (Oops, showing that human-ness...)I had to choose to stay Episcopalian, too. Lots of my angst is over several issues with the National church. I can't control the folks in the parish who don't agree with my ideas of appropriate clothing for kids, appropriate movies, etc. We even have folks in our parish who aren't Christian, in what doctrine they follow (heck, the Episcopalian bishops aren't even all orthodox, so what do I expect?). It makes me sad, and sometimes discouraged.I've decided, tho, that God has said STAY for a while. I am learning to walk a road with others who love Jesus but don't have the same beliefs as I do. I think they are wrong. I think they are in danger. But I'm walking with them, anyway. And presenting them before the Throne--and leaving them there, every time I pray. It is so hard to be in a church like this--like PariSarah said, a leaky boat.I searched for a different denom, but just haven't found one I can embrace at the moment. A friend visited Lancaster Pa, and bought some Amish clothing. I jokingly said I'd like to borrow it--can imagine my hubby coming home to find me in Amish wear, stirring up something in the kitchen--"Honey, I've finally decided on a denomination!" He'd fall over. Good for a laugh, perhaps, but not a real solution.Anyway, I'd say cover your situation in prayer, and keep asking for guidance. Get the log out of your own eye, too--not saying there's one there, but you never know, there might be.I'm so sorry you hate your church. It's hard to know what to do. I'll say a prayer for your discernment for ya. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melora in NC Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 I visited a Reformed church, and felt very at home with the homeschooling quiver full moms. My daughters LOVED the children there, but I worry, about my family's being too liberal to make that church a long term fit. In all fairness, I think my church is just reflecting our modern culture. Since we homeschool, and don't watch TV, church is one of the only places we see how most people live. I just wonder why we should even go to church when it feels like the most secular thing we do all week. We are going to visit the local Catholic church next week. My Dh is Catholic, even though we have attended the Episcopal church for our entire marriage. We know and respect some of the men in that parish from my son's Boy Scout troop. I know there will be people I can't identify with everywhere I go, but at least the music can not be any worse! Sorry for this long rant. I think I am having a mid-life crisis. Things I never thought I'd question don't seem important any more. :grouphug: Sorry you are dealing with this! It doesn't sound like your church is a good fit, at all! I have been an Episcopalian since I became a Christian, 20-something years ago, and my dh is nominally Catholic, and several things in your post resonated with me. We moved up to the mountains of NC two years ago and left the Episcopal church where our babies were baptised and where the congregation helped us out emotionally and monetarily when dh was diagnosed with a spinal cord tumor. It was a large church, with a first class organ, a great choir, and a rector who sung the liturgy beautifully. And I didn't realize how much I loved the Beauty of those services until we moved and I learned that Not All Episcopal Churches Do Things That Way! We stuck with the closest one for about six months. The congregation was warm and caring, the vicar was kind and intelligent, but the service bumped along in a chaotic way that just made me crazy. We tried another Episcopal church, farther away, but ministering to children seemed to be an afterthought (okay, not even that!) with them. Then we tried the Reformed (Presbyterian) church of a homeschooling friend. The people were Wonderful, and they were very oriented toward children (many very large homeschooling families there!), but we just didn't agree with their Calvinist doctines. We visited the Baptist church next door to our home, but the minister's hellfire and brimstone was not spiritually nourishing for us. We were back at the sweet but chaotic local Episcopal church when someone told us about another Epis. church 30 minutes north of us, which they described as "more high church." We visited the new church and immediately felt at home. It isn't "high" like the church back in Florida, and I still miss the sung liturgy, Trisagion, and Agnus Dei, but our new church is in many ways even better than our Florida church. The congregation is wonderfully open and caring -- outreach/service to those in need is a Great priority. (They just received a $100,000 grant, and I'm told that All of it is going to purchase food for the community food closet for the hungry. Not for infrastructure or a youth trip!) My children immediately felt welcome and involved. Ds was invited to be an acolyte. I'm on the SS teacher rotation. Dh has found many people he enjoys talking with. The priest is theologically much more liberal than I am, and he sometimes makes me hopping mad, but he also makes me think and clarify Why I disagree with him, so that isn't all bad. Anyway, sorry this got so long and drawn out, but my thought is that if, as others have suggested, you try some other denominations, you May find something that is just right for you, or you might find a better Episcopal church that isn't Too much of a distant drive. "Church shopping" is very uncomfortable, but I also found it to be very educational. Regarding the Catholic church, I would LOve it if you posted your thoughts about it, if you visit one! (or pm me!) I have felt "drawn" toward the Catholic church and have been reading about Catholic beliefs for the last two years or so. There isn't much in their doctrine that I disagree with, and we actually visited our local Catholic church two weeks ago. Boy was I disappointed! Somehow, I had thought that because the Catholic church is so much older than the Anglican church, their liturgy would be at least as dignified and graceful, if not more so. It may easily be that the particular church we visited was Not representative, but I found the liturgy abrupt and clumsy. Dh said he felt like the priest was "talking down" to us -- using little words because we might not Understand more sophisticated language. Most of the hymns in the hymnal were from the 1970's or later (I love the Episcopal hymnal!), and two women went up front to lead the singing (though there was a choir in the back, overhead), and one was wearing a Mini-skirt! Aack! The homily was actually quite good, but there didn't seem to any connection between the congregation and the priest. It was terribly disappointing, and I really with that there was another Catholic church in the area so that I could find out if the one we visited is typical!! Your priest won't call and ask you if everything is okay with your family if you miss a couple weeks? That would bother me. It might be helpful to tell him why you are leaving (you probably aren't the only family bothered by the way they are running things!). Maybe you could write him a letter if you think the discussion would be awkward (I know it would be for me). I wish you the best of luck in finding a new church home! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMindy Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 I visited a Reformed church, and felt very at home with the homeschooling quiver full moms. My daughters LOVED the children there, but I worry, about my family's being too liberal to make that church a long term fit. In all fairness, I think my church is just reflecting our modern culture. Since we homeschool, and don't watch TV, church is one of the only places we see how most people live. I just wonder why we should even go to church when it feels like the most secular thing we do all week. QUOTE] I so get what you are saying!!! I love the feel of the reformed church-families worshipping together, the huge focus on the importance of family, homeschooling, etc....but we just can't do the doctrine. So, we are going to a church (that we like fine) that entertains our kids (they have a worship band in elementary school) and it just doesn't really fit the way our family does things. But, they love Jesus and they preach the gospel message, and they encourage people to grow in their faith and serve others, so we stay. It isn't a perfect fit, but it fits us fine for now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy g. Posted July 14, 2008 Author Share Posted July 14, 2008 I keep telling myself that we will find things we don't agree with in every denomination. I actually wanted to go to the Catholic church when Dh and I were first married. His priest is the one who told us to decide after the wedding, because it might look like converting was a requirement of the engagement. He also said to tell both families, "We are looking into our options, and will decide where to worship after we are married." We did pre wedding counseling at both the Catholic and Episcopal church. That is what really won my Dh over to the Episcopal church. He wanted his daughters to have the option to be priests and bishops if they so choose. Most of it is a matter of high versus low church. I can overlook a lot for a beautiful organ, and stained glass windows. That just proves how superficial I am. I'm sure that's just a shard off the bark of the log in my eye. I'll update next week, after we visit the Catholic church. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brehon Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 :grouphug: Regarding the Catholic church, I would LOve it if you posted your thoughts about it, if you visit one! (or pm me!) I have felt "drawn" toward the Catholic church and have been reading about Catholic beliefs for the last two years or so. There isn't much in their doctrine that I disagree with, and we actually visited our local Catholic church two weeks ago. Boy was I disappointed! Somehow, I had thought that because the Catholic church is so much older than the Anglican church, their liturgy would be at least as dignified and graceful, if not more so. It may easily be that the particular church we visited was Not representative, but I found the liturgy abrupt and clumsy. Dh said he felt like the priest was "talking down" to us -- using little words because we might not Understand more sophisticated language. Most of the hymns in the hymnal were from the 1970's or later (I love the Episcopal hymnal!), and two women went up front to lead the singing (though there was a choir in the back, overhead), and one was wearing a Mini-skirt! Aack! The homily was actually quite good, but there didn't seem to any connection between the congregation and the priest. It was terribly disappointing, and I really with that there was another Catholic church in the area so that I could find out if the one we visited is typical!! Just so you know, your recent experience with the Catholic church you visited isn't necessarily typical. I know this won't help you much as we live in different states; but, at the Cathedral where I sing the Mass is much different. Even though the Bishop doesn't necessarily approve, the Rector and, most importantly, the parishoners love the music the choir sings (mostly Renaissance & Baroque with the occasional obligatory 19th century piece thrown in for good measure) and the homilies are very good. Good connection between the priests and congregation and the Mass itself is very dignified, graceful, and infused with sacredness and holiness (literally infused - the incense has been known to send we poor singers into paroxysms of coughing). [And I don't say this to indicate that other services, whether Catholic or other denominations, don't have these qualities; I'm just more at home with the ancient rituals.] The Cathedral even has a Latin Mass (the one I sing in is a partial Latin Mass). There is actually a fairly substantial movement within the Church to bring back the pre-Vatican II Mass. I agree about the hymnal -- some of the hymns are wonderful (the ones by the Wesley brothers and the ones which use JS Bach's harmonizations come immediately to mind); others, well, not so much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
summer Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 I agree with you. I am actually a member of the ELCA church which has a reciprical agreement with the Episcopal church. The pastors are basically apathetic. The music in the childrens program includes a lot of gangsta rap style music. I am just sickened. They are trying so hard to be contempory and "hip" that they have completely gotten away from God. And if you try to go and ask the pastor for any sort of guidance, including family, children, marriage, or otherwise, they just tell you that is not their area. Apparently..their area is business. They are running a business. I stopped attending. I did go once recently, but still had such a sour taste that I did not stay all the way through. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugarfoot Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 what a difficult situation. I love our church and the wonderful mix of people in it. We have a devoted priest who we are blessed to call a friend. Every week, I am awed by the beauty of the Liturgy and honored to be present at the Eucharist. I hope that you can find a church that fulfills your spiritual thirst while surrounding you with fellow travelers to accompany you on your journey! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 Finding a church home that really feels like home can be so hard. I know. A few years back, I was chatting with a great uncle and he mentioned a past minister at his church. . . He (and his wife) had not liked this minister for many reasons. He and my great aunt had both been raised in this denomination and met through the church at college. They were in their 50s or so. . . had lived in the same house, same town, their entire married lives. They were very active in their church over many decades. . . They couldn't abide by the (then) minister. What did they do? They waited. About 6-8 YEARS! Then, she left. They were still there, always there, biding their time. . . It really struck me that somehow they had become so a part of their church that they felt it was theirs (not the ministers or anyone else's). They did what they could to make it more the way they felt it should be. . . and they waited out the rest. Anyway, I was raised agnostic, then Unitarian. . . then joined the Methodist church in college. . . went back to Unitarian early married, and finally found a *wonderful* home in an Episcopal church in VA. It is/was a splendid place. Unfortunately, we moved away and our new town has two Episcopal churches, one of which is a no-go for us (too conservative) and so the other is the only option. . . There is no where else we'd feel OK being a part of. I have a strong Christian faith, strong respect for other faiths, protective family values, and also have a powerful conviction that protecting full human and civil rights for gay people is an absolutely moral and religious imperative. That makes us a hard fit for most churches!!!!!!! So, anyway, what I try to remind myself when I am disgruntled about various aspects of our imperfect church family. . . is my Uncle's story. I try to make this church our family and do what I can to help it grow in good directions and to wait out the rest. I may take some space and disconnect some when I am feeling alienated, but I work to keep the doors open and reconnect more deeply when I am ready. This doesn't mean you can't or shouldn't find a better fit for your family. For us, changing from UU to Episcopal was a hard choice after spending 6-8 years very involved in the faith that was the only faith I had found as a child and which did meet our spiritual needs in many ways. Our change to Episcopal was a leap of faith and scary but when we found that wonderful congregation with such inspiring priests, well, it was so abundantly clear that it was the right place for us. Then, we had to move away, and our choices are less clear and so it tests our faith. Pray, reflect, consider your options and you will find a way that works for your family. (((hugs))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sdWTMer Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 I'm so sorry, BTDT. We are so blessed to have the fellowship of the congregation that we attend. My heartfelt sympathies. May God help you make your decision easier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soph the vet Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 So sorry you are going through this, Amy. We left the church we were in for nine years because the leadership was influenced by worldly church growth methods and seemed like it was getting away from the gospel. We are in a Reformed church (actually my home church before marriage) and the teaching and fellowship are very solid. I would encourage you to do a personal study of what the church actually is and should look like in the world according to the Bible. That may help you determine which local body to join. The book of Acts and Paul's epistles are full of description of the church and instruction to the church. I think a lot of what is going on now in just about every denomination is a watering down of the gospel and some kind of entertainment to draw seekers into the church but that is really not what the church is. The church should be going out to do that instead. Mark Dever has a book called "Nine Marks of a Healthy Church" that may be helpful, he also has a website with articles. Reading some of his stuff caused a paradigm shift in my thinking as to what exactly is the church and how do I fit in. Soph Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoraida Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 I'm one of the RCIA teachers at our Catholic Church. If you enjoy the Catholic Church that you are visiting and decide to join the Church, please let the priest of that church know that you are coming from an Episcopal Church. Since the Episcopal Church is the closest cousin we have to the Catholic Church, you may be able to skip the RCIA process and be able to convert to the Catholic faith within weeks. If you were coming from another church such as Baptist, Methodist, ect. you would be required to enter into the RCIA process and it would take you a year or longer (depending on what time of the year you entered the process) to be able to convert to the Catholic faith. The church likes for people from other faiths to spend one whole year experiancing our liturgical cycle before converting to the faith. Then those who are committed to joining the Catholic Church are all baptized or confirmed at the Chuches Easter Vigil. Blessings Zoraida Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpedIntoTheDeepEndFirst Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 Amy G. It sounds from your original post that the problem isn't the Episcopal Church as a whole but rather your individual parish and the people there. We move often so I have learned to separate the denomination from the folks in that particular building. First-talk to the local priest if you think that would help or perhaps you should instead have a chat with the bishop for your area. If there are problems (and it does sound like there are) you won't be the only one to have noticed them. In the meantime enjoy your exploration of local houses of worship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GSMP Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 The thing you need to be careful of....is make sure when you speak/write to your minister that the important reasons for leaving this church are all based on error in scripture and doctrine. Most won't care if it's just personal preference or dislike of how a service is run. Best of luck.......:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vida Winter Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 Amy, I am so sorry that you are experiencing this! I adore the Episcopal church I attend but I would feel the same way as you if people were acting that way. Is there another parish you can visit that isn't too far away? Maybe an Anglican church? And the Catholic church is a wonderful option. All my life so many of my close friends have been Catholic. I would have considered converting except for a divorce in my past which would have complicated things. I believe you are absolutely right in making a change and I will pray that you find a place where you feel at home. God's peace, Dana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in VA Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 The thing you need to be careful of....is make sure when you speak/write to your minister that the important reasons for leaving this church are all based on error in scripture and doctrine. Most won't care if it's just personal preference or dislike of how a service is run. Best of luck.......:grouphug: :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 I'm Episcopalian. I had to switch churches a few years ago. I was dreading church weekly and I felt drained after services/Sunday school each week. We moved to another Episcopal church. However, I don't think it's important to stay with an Episcopal congregation. The important thing is for you to feel the religious community meets your needs spiritually/emotionally. If your children see hypocrisy among the other children and youth leaders, there's no point in going. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.