Impish Posted August 22, 2012 Share Posted August 22, 2012 I just want to tell you, that as a Mom of 5, there are absolutely times I envy you! And, as much as I detest unpleasant remarks about my family size, I feel the same way about folks taking a shot of parents of only kids. Just wanted you to know. *mwah* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 22, 2012 Author Share Posted August 22, 2012 :bigear: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belacqua Posted August 22, 2012 Share Posted August 22, 2012 Thanks, Imp! Mwah back at ya. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted August 22, 2012 Share Posted August 22, 2012 Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy g. Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I realized that my three best friend's in the world, each only have one child. Guess who is the odd ball! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tohru Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I had an only for many, many years and I always found that any comment about my status as parent of an only made by a parent of multiplies was excruciatingly painful, even if the comment was meant to be compliment to me for parenting an only. Even mentioning how many kids you have (without being asked) to a parent of an only (that desperately wants more), is like rubbing doggie doo in their face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 23, 2012 Author Share Posted August 23, 2012 Thanks, Imp! Mwah back at ya. Thanks. You're both very welcome! I realized that my three best friend's in the world, each only have one child. Guess who is the odd ball! Usually, the odd ball title goes to me :tongue_smilie: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenNC Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 :001_smile: Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Thanks, Imp! :001_wub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BakersDozen Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I had an only for many, many years and I always found that any comment about my status as parent of an only made by a parent of multiplies was excruciatingly painful, even if the comment was meant to be compliment to me for parenting an only. Even mentioning how many kids you have (without being asked) to a parent of an only (that desperately wants more), is like rubbing doggie doo in their face. I was wondering if anyone was going to post this very thing. I made a horribly hurtful comment years ago to a mom of an 'only'. I didn't mean to hurt her heart and my words were completely innocent, yet the pain I caused her I still remember. I had no idea the longing she had for more children or how my seemingly flippant comment (which was a positive comment...or so I thought) was taken. Family/child status is something I now avoid commenting on at all costs, no matter how complimentary I may think I'm being. :grouphug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 23, 2012 Author Share Posted August 23, 2012 I had an only for many, many years and I always found that any comment about my status as parent of an only made by a parent of multiplies was excruciatingly painful, even if the comment was meant to be compliment to me for parenting an only. Even mentioning how many kids you have (without being asked) to a parent of an only (that desperately wants more), is like rubbing doggie doo in their face. So what would you have ppl do, never mention that they have kids, or more than one? How would you suggest ppl deal w/that? I just can't see hiding that I have a parent, or how many kids I have. I was genuinely being supportive, knowing that parents of onlys can be criticized. I guess since I have more than 1 kid, I should just say nothing at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 (edited) I just want to tell you, that as a Mom of 5, there are absolutely times I envy you! And, as much as I detest unpleasant remarks about my family size, I feel the same way about folks taking a shot of parents of only kids. Just wanted you to know. *mwah* :iagree: I had an only for 12 years, then had three more. It's amazing how many offensive comments are made on both sides of the 2.3. And I AM an only, but don't recall anyone giving my parents carp about it... Of course, it was the 70s, and I think people were in possession of their civility then. Edited August 23, 2012 by MyCrazyHouse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I had an only for many, many years and I always found that any comment about my status as parent of an only made by a parent of multiplies was excruciatingly painful, even if the comment was meant to be compliment to me for parenting an only. Even mentioning how many kids you have (without being asked) to a parent of an only (that desperately wants more), is like rubbing doggie doo in their face. No, it's not. Telling someone how many children you have is simply stating a fact. It is a neutral comment. Telling someone that you love your children, whether you have one or ten, is normal and appropriate. A person who is unable to have as many children as she desires may feel hurt by any mention of pregnancy or children, but that is her issue. We rightly feel sad for her, and infertility can be tragic, but no one is wrong or cruel for having children or informing others of their existence. This whole concept is very new. Until very recently, nobody considered it heartless or bad form to invite people to baby showers or to send birth announcements to friends without first confirming their emotional state and whether they could bear to hear of an infant entering the world. It wasn't even considered that someone might think your mention of your own children was like rubbing animal feces in their face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I just want to tell you, that as a Mom of 5, there are absolutely times I envy you! And, as much as I detest unpleasant remarks about my family size, I feel the same way about folks taking a shot of parents of only kids. Just wanted you to know. *mwah* :iagree: :grouphug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 You know, I can't do many things other people can do because with my chronic illnesses and prior injuries, like play tennis or ski amongst other activities. I used to enjoy such activities and I only stopped them because of doctors' orders. Does it hurt when people 40 years older than me can still be doing these things and I can't? Sometimes yes but I don't consider it as anything unfeeling on their part.Now if someone who did know I couldn't do these things, kept pestering me to do them, I would be annoyed and really unhappy but no one has ever done that. So I don't consider others happy pursuit of _____ activity to be anything to do with my own inability to do them. WHy shouldn't they ski or play tennis? Yes, you will say that my comparison is stupid but it is also why I couldn't have any more children. Only once did I ever feel a bit put off by that and that was when one of my girls was questioned in class about why she was only one of three kids in our family by kids who came from larger families. Oh and they weren't young kids. These were all high schoolers, my daughter included. Obviously they came from families that stressed quiverfull ideology and we didn't measure up. She was flabbergasted and didn't know how to respond because she had never asked us why (and she had never expressed any longing for more siblings either). Anytime one has a loss, one has a choice. The loss can become the centerpoint of our life or it can made a part of our life but a much more minor one. The people who have relegated their losses to more minor roles, have, in my experiences, lead happier lives. Focus on what you do have and not what you don't. Oh and Imp, I think your gesture was kind hearted and well meant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bee Happy Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I have four, but I am an only child. Guess I'm making up for the many times I prayed for a sibling. LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FairyMom Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I loved being an only child, still do! :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delirium Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Thanks Imp! I admire your ability to wrangle 5 kids on a daily basis :) There was a period of time where I was deeply hurt by having an only because its not how I envisioned my life going. Even then, I never thought to think that someone else's family was a personal attack. Just like I can roll my eyes and let it go when someone calls her a "lonely only" I agree that crass things can be said on both sides. Heck, I'm sure *I've* said something that someone with more than one was offended by. There is no magic number of children that is right for every family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tohru Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 So what would you have ppl do, never mention that they have kids, or more than one? How would you suggest ppl deal w/that? I just can't see hiding that I have a parent, or how many kids I have. I was genuinely being supportive, knowing that parents of onlys can be criticized. I guess since I have more than 1 kid, I should just say nothing at all. Um, no. You're right. However the thread is titled "Shout Out to Moms of Only Kids." I clicked on it and read something like: Hi Parent of an Only, I have 5 kids. I know you only have 1, but sometimes I'm jealous of that (but not for long really.) Anyway, I want you to know that I don't like it when people say bad things about you because you only have 1. They say bad things to me too because I have Fi-IVE. My original comment was to point out that that can be very hurtful. You never having been a parent of an only for long, I don't think you'd understand how painful it is. Yes, you should be proud of all your children, but when the post is a shout out to parents of an only...well, I expected/hoped to see something like "You Rock" or "Help me with an issue I have with my only", or something along those lines. Definitely Not "look how many kids I have and I'm sincere to say that I care about you, even though you only have 1." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 23, 2012 Author Share Posted August 23, 2012 Um, no. You're right. However the thread is titled "Shout Out to Moms of Only Kids." I clicked on it and read something like: Hi Parent of an Only, I have 5 kids. I know you only have 1, but sometimes I'm jealous of that (but not for long really.) Anyway, I want you to know that I don't like it when people say bad things about you because you only have 1. They say bad things to me too because I have Fi-IVE. My original comment was to point out that that can be very hurtful. You never having been a parent of an only for long, I don't think you'd understand how painful it is. Yes, you should be proud of all your children, but when the post is a shout out to parents of an only...well, I expected/hoped to see something like "You Rock" or "Help me with an issue I have with my only", or something along those lines. Definitely Not "look how many kids I have and I'm sincere to say that I care about you, even though you only have 1." So, you reinterpreted what I actually said, through a filter that wasn't there or implied, and came up w/a totally different msg than what was both said and meant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 23, 2012 Author Share Posted August 23, 2012 And I had an only child for 7 yrs. Does that matter? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 23, 2012 Author Share Posted August 23, 2012 Thanks Imp! I admire your ability to wrangle 5 kids on a daily basis :) There was a period of time where I was deeply hurt by having an only because its not how I envisioned my life going. Even then, I never thought to think that someone else's family was a personal attack. Just like I can roll my eyes and let it go when someone calls her a "lonely only" I agree that crass things can be said on both sides. Heck, I'm sure *I've* said something that someone with more than one was offended by. There is no magic number of children that is right for every family. I don't wrangle 5 :lol: Eldest is in the Navy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 So, you reinterpreted what I actually said, through a filter that wasn't there or implied, and came up w/a totally different msg than what was both said and meant. I sort of read it that way too. Like, "Hey mom of ONLY one kid, boy your life must be easy, I wish I could do as little as you do once in awhile." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delirium Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Then 4! 1 already made it out alive >:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tohru Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 So, you reinterpreted what I actually said, through a filter that wasn't there or implied, and came up w/a totally different msg than what was both said and meant. I suppose, Yes. I guess it's because I was once a parent of an only and it is still a very sore spot. Once at a hs support group meeting, a woman came up to me and said, "Hi, I have 5 kids. And how many do you have?" In which I replied, "My son is 10." I'm sure you meant to be nice, originally. So thanks for pointing out my personal misunderstanding of your comment. Really. Thanks. Sometimes I'm in my head too long. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 23, 2012 Author Share Posted August 23, 2012 I sort of read it that way too. Like, "Hey mom of ONLY one kid, boy your life must be easy, I wish I could do as little as you do once in awhile." Oh, HECK NO. I'd never apply that thinking to ANY parent, I don't care how many kids they have. As I said, I had an only for 7 yrs. The idea of 'do as little as you do' is just mind boggling to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I sort of read it that way too. Like, "Hey mom of ONLY one kid, boy your life must be easy, I wish I could do as little as you do once in awhile." I read it this way, too. I'm not a mom of an only, but I actually kind of cringed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newlifemom Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I too wonder at things. Perhaps they just weren't discussed or we didn't have the media then that we do now. I always try to believe the best intentions of comments even if they hit me hard. Most people can't know the personal turmoil over my family size or lack thereof. I read the op as a 'you rock' kind of thing. Of course, I have more than one so that may be why. I do know that there are certain times [pms, anniversaries of losses, new births, etc] that can be difficult, but I really try to think the best about others and not be overly whiney [which is hard sometimes] My heart goes out to those who could only have one for a myriad of reasons, or can't even have one. I never know what to say or do, b/c the things that might bless me could potentially offend you. [general plural you there] What is a person to do?:confused: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delirium Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I sort of read it that way too. Like, "Hey mom of ONLY one kid, boy your life must be easy, I wish I could do as little as you do once in awhile." When you put it like that, I can see how it could be seen that way. Especially if you've heard if before. Glad the intention got cleared up, it sure is difficult to covey over the internet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FairyMom Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I am an only and I wished I could have had two lifetimes with each of my children as only children. That's kind of how I read it. Loved, loved my childhood and I tried to replicate the good parts as much as I can. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
celticmom Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I was an only and I currently have an only child. I would like another child and dd wants a sibling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SueinNC Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I just want to tell you, that as a Mom of 5, there are absolutely times I envy you! And, as much as I detest unpleasant remarks about my family size, I feel the same way about folks taking a shot of parents of only kids. Just wanted you to know. *mwah* Thank you, Imp! :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aelwydd Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Um, no. You're right. However the thread is titled "Shout Out to Moms of Only Kids." I clicked on it and read something like: Hi Parent of an Only, I have 5 kids. I know you only have 1, but sometimes I'm jealous of that (but not for long really.) Anyway, I want you to know that I don't like it when people say bad things about you because you only have 1. They say bad things to me too because I have Fi-IVE. My original comment was to point out that that can be very hurtful. You never having been a parent of an only for long, I don't think you'd understand how painful it is. Yes, you should be proud of all your children, but when the post is a shout out to parents of an only...well, I expected/hoped to see something like "You Rock" or "Help me with an issue I have with my only", or something along those lines. Definitely Not "look how many kids I have and I'm sincere to say that I care about you, even though you only have 1." Jade, no offense, but you just didn't get Imp's post. She posted it to support us only moms who felt somewhat insulted on another recent thread. Imp has never, EVER expressed disdain, pity, or other negative emotions towards other small families here. You are projecting negative connotations onto her thread that were never intended on her part, and I wish you hadn't, because it's a nice change to hear some pro-only remarks from a mom of a big family on this board. IMPISH -- you rock, and FTR, I love big families like yours. Peers with big families give my only child so many awesome playmates to hang out with. :D He loves being around other groups of kids, and I know he may decide someday as an adult to have several kids himself. So, it's nice for him to get to experience the big family dynamic! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 She posted it to support us only moms who felt somewhat insulted on another recent thread. Ahhhh. That makes more sense. Context helps. :001_smile: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aelwydd Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 And I had an only child for 7 yrs. Does that matter? What matters is you're an awesome mama, and I wish my kid lived close enough to hang out with your bunch. It would be totally fun. I could call you up and tell you how families like yours are totally selfish for draining the Earth's resources, and you can call me up and tell me I'm selfish for choosing college education and Disney World vacations over another child. And then we could crack up and snort wine at our jackassery. I can see it in my mind. :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aelwydd Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Mergath, yeah, there are many conversations I would like to have about topics here with friends and family, but only make sense in WTM context, lol. In my frustration at a comment on the other thread, I said that I was very close to posting a thread about the joys of onlies, because I'm so tired of hearing how lonely, sad, bereft, self-centered, etc., only children are by virtue of their family status. Imp just beat me to it, and I feel bad that she's gotten some flack from her well-meaning supportive thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homemama Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 :001_smile:Same here! I'm an only with an only! Thanks for the encouragement!!;) homemama Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zillymom Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Thanks, Imp!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annandatje Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 You know, I can't do many things other people can do because with my chronic illnesses and prior injuries, like play tennis or ski amongst other activities. I used to enjoy such activities and I only stopped them because of doctors' orders. Does it hurt when people 40 years older than me can still be doing these things and I can't? Sometimes yes but I don't consider it as anything unfeeling on their part.Now if someone who did know I couldn't do these things, kept pestering me to do them, I would be annoyed and really unhappy but no one has ever done that. So I don't consider others happy pursuit of _____ activity to be anything to do with my own inability to do them. WHy shouldn't they ski or play tennis? Yes, you will say that my comparison is stupid but it is also why I couldn't have any more children. Only once did I ever feel a bit put off by that and that was when one of my girls was questioned in class about why she was only one of three kids in our family by kids who came from larger families. Oh and they weren't young kids. These were all high schoolers, my daughter included. Obviously they came from families that stressed quiverfull ideology and we didn't measure up. She was flabbergasted and didn't know how to respond because she had never asked us why (and she had never expressed any longing for more siblings either). Anytime one has a loss, one has a choice. The loss can become the centerpoint of our life or it can made a part of our life but a much more minor one. The people who have relegated their losses to more minor roles, have, in my experiences, lead happier lives. Focus on what you do have and not what you don't. Oh and Imp, I think your gesture was kind hearted and well meant. :iagree: What a sensible rational post. I tend to cut people slack on family size comments because often they're awkwardly grasping for conversational topics. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoot Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 :001_wub: Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I talk to the trees Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I sort of read it that way too. Like, "Hey mom of ONLY one kid, boy your life must be easy, I wish I could do as little as you do once in awhile." While the OP didn't mean it in the above way, I can very easily see this sentiment coming across in the post. I have all too often dealt with this with many of my homeschooling peers. We were one of two families in our old "support" group with one child. Most had at least 3, and there were many with 6 or more. I dealt constantly with the attitude that I must have oodles and oodles of time on my hands, and my life was sooo easy because I didn't have a real family. :001_rolleyes: And I wanted so badly to respond that "Yes, but those daily massages and pedicures really keep me hopping!" but I never did. So, yeah, although Imp meant it kindly, I can see where the "I envy you" bit could be distorted into "I envy all your free time, but then I come to my senses and pity you for not having so much more joy in your life." No, that's not what she meant *at all,* but parents of only children deal with that attitude so frequently that it's easy to see it where it may not exist. Oh, and Imp, from the mother of an "only cubed"- I appreciate the thought in the post! :001_smile: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 23, 2012 Author Share Posted August 23, 2012 What matters is you're an awesome mama, and I wish my kid lived close enough to hang out with your bunch. It would be totally fun. I could call you up and tell you how families like yours are totally selfish for draining the Earth's resources, and you can call me up and tell me I'm selfish for choosing college education and Disney World vacations over another child. And then we could crack up and snort wine at our jackassery. I can see it in my mind. :lol: Sounds like a blast! C'mon over! :lol: Mergath, yeah, there are many conversations I would like to have about topics here with friends and family, but only make sense in WTM context, lol. In my frustration at a comment on the other thread, I said that I was very close to posting a thread about the joys of onlies, because I'm so tired of hearing how lonely, sad, bereft, self-centered, etc., only children are by virtue of their family status. Imp just beat me to it, and I feel bad that she's gotten some flack from her well-meaning supportive thread. Your comment is what inspired me to start this thread. I honestly thought that coming from someone who has a bunch of kids, it would be more positive, not an 'us vs them' thing, but a genuine gesture of positive support. Never crossed my mind that anyone would take it as any sort of negative. I really, truly loathe it when ppl make negative comments about family size, be it large or small, like anyone else has any sort of business having an opinion on what someone else chooses in terms of creating a family. Thanks to those who didn't assume the worst of my motivations and took this thread in the way it was actually meant. Having an only for yrs and now a large family, I can honestly say that I wouldn't rank either as 'harder'. They're very different dynamics, very challenging in different ways. Anyone that thinks parenting, be it one or many is 'easy' is either a WAAAAAAAAY better Mom than I am, or has spent too much time in a closed room, using industrial cleanser :tongue_smilie: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 She posted it to support us only moms who felt somewhat insulted on another recent thread. There was another one?:glare: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Mergath, yeah, there are many conversations I would like to have about topics here with friends and family, but only make sense in WTM context, lol. In my frustration at a comment on the other thread, I said that I was very close to posting a thread about the joys of onlies, because I'm so tired of hearing how lonely, sad, bereft, self-centered, etc., only children are by virtue of their family status. Imp just beat me to it, and I feel bad that she's gotten some flack from her well-meaning supportive thread. Way to go, Imp. Thanks for standing up for us and our kids. :grouphug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 While the OP didn't mean it in the above way, I can very easily see this sentiment coming across in the post. I have all too often dealt with this with many of my homeschooling peers. We were one of two families in our old "support" group with one child. Most had at least 3, and there were many with 6 or more. I dealt constantly with the attitude that I must have oodles and oodles of time on my hands, and my life was sooo easy because I didn't have a real family. :001_rolleyes: And I wanted so badly to respond that "Yes, but those daily massages and pedicures really keep me hopping!" but I never did. So, yeah, although Imp meant it kindly, I can see where the "I envy you" bit could be distorted into "I envy all your free time, but then I come to my senses and pity you for not having so much more joy in your life." No, that's not what she meant *at all,* but parents of only children deal with that attitude so frequently that it's easy to see it where it may not exist. Oh, and Imp, from the mother of an "only cubed"- I appreciate the thought in the post! :001_smile: Did you ever get the "You aren't a real parent because you have only one?" Talk about a kick in the face. :001_rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 23, 2012 Author Share Posted August 23, 2012 Did you ever get the "You aren't a real parent because you have only one?" Talk about a kick in the face. :001_rolleyes: You know, I heard that for the first time recently. I was honestly stunned. The only time I'd heard such ignorant, rotten, hateful statements was directed either at an adoptive parent or a stepparent. And yeah, I did a nut on that. Genetics don't make a 'real' parent. # of kids don't make a 'real' parent. Real parents determined by the love, the worry, the fear, the nurturing, the late nights, the early mornings, the I Love Yous and the I Hate Yous, the quiet cuddle times, the 'kid just puked all over the dog and carpet times...' Genetics are negligible. If you're not a parent, then wth are you? A fish? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmos Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Having an only for yrs and now a large family, I can honestly say that I wouldn't rank either as 'harder'. They're very different dynamics, very challenging in different ways. Anyone that thinks parenting, be it one or many is 'easy' is either a WAAAAAAAAY better Mom than I am, or has spent too much time in a closed room, using industrial cleanser :tongue_smilie: I didn't see the thread that inspired this one, but I appreciated your post. Thank you for your kind words, and I'm sorry you got flack for them. As a mother of an only child, I have been on the receiving side of hurtful comments and attitudes. Happy, healthy families come in all sizes, as do unhappy ones. I try never to comment on family size. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 If you're not a parent, then wth are you? A fish? You don't want me to go there. I'd get banned for sure today for answering these questions. :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 (edited) Mergath, yeah, there are many conversations I would like to have about topics here with friends and family, but only make sense in WTM context, lol. In my frustration at a comment on the other thread, I said that I was very close to posting a thread about the joys of onlies, because I'm so tired of hearing how lonely, sad, bereft, self-centered, etc., only children are by virtue of their family status. Imp just beat me to it, and I feel bad that she's gotten some flack from her well-meaning supportive thread. I'm an only. I both really enjoyed it and really hated it. But, I think the negative feelings had much more to do with my family dynamics as a whole. It was just my mom and me. I was left on my own for long periods of time while she worked and she made no attempts to get me together with other children or get me involved in any sorts of activities. I think that, plus my personality in general, is what made me lonely, sad, bereft, etc. I didn't get the self-centeredness. I don't think that's a necessary product of being an only either. My mother is the most self-centered person I know. Growing up with a mother like that leads to problems caring about yourself at all. Edited August 23, 2012 by kebg11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunflowerlady Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Thanks :001_smile: I didn't see another thread that must have inspired this one. I just want to add something important. Some parents of an only child may feel pain about it and there have been comments about not mentioning how many children you have or whatever. Well, I don't want people to feel afraid about that. Many of us with an only are completely satisfied and happy with our family size and situation. :001_smile: Many of us don't feel like we are lacking anything and we do not feel "pain" about our only child. Really.:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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