Military families - a question...

[Sneezyone]

I've been at this for my entire 14.5 year marriage too (and we dated long-distance for two years before that). I do agree with Mrs. Mungo and others in the sense that running away to be with family because you're uncomfortable or afraid of being alone with DH or by yourself with kids is not a recipe for success. I just didn't want to leave the impression out there that there is no other way to build a successful marriage. Sorry for taking this off track but woo hoo! I finally 'met' another spouse who thinks like me about this stuff. :D

[Sneezyone]

I've been a military spouse for 15 years and have never had to worry about that. I get along just fine with dh deployed without having to have a bunch of friends and or get involved in every little thing offered by the command. In fact I prefer to not be involved in anything the command offers unless it is something my dh is required to attend. Even in those situations by no means does he require me to go, it's up to me. If I feel like going I do, if not I stay home with the kids and trust me our marriage is anything but on the fast track to divorce.

 

Can I just say you're living my life? I put on a good show when the need arises and make DH look like a very lucky man but I could skip every pseudo-prom from now 'til retirement and die a happy woman.:smilielol5:

[StaceyinLA]

I was the same way. I probably wasn't the model military wife, though. And I would thik nothing of spending time with my family of origin during a deployment,

 

But the original post was about spending the last months of a pregnancy with one's mom rather than with one's husband, and more importantly, taking a young child away from his dad during those months.

 

If the mom to be is happy being self reliant, great. I think the point people were making was that if she is feeling scared, lonely, or insecure about the move, weathering that by the side of her DH, with the support available there, is better in the long run than going to her mom and taking a son from his dad in the process. For some people, neighbors and friends might be part of that, but they don't have to be.

 

Military life involve enough seperations without creating them during those precious pregnancy months, IMHO. The dad may be happier knowing his wife is off with her mom and mom will take care of her, and he may not even realize now what he is missing with his son. But I think it is the beginning of a potentially bad pattern.

 

I DO get what you're saying. They are both quite aware of what he's missing with his son. It's something they really struggled over.

 

I think the peace here comes from not having to worry about her having drastic changes or a move at 9 months pg, or with a 2-week old (and 16 mo-old). I feel like they had to weigh that along with everything else going on.

 

I don't think this will be the beginning of a bad pattern though, because they don't want this to be the norm. I'm not saying she'll never come home while he's deployed, but they've already discussed that she won't be staying here doing that anymore after they're relocated and have 2 kids.