"Not possible for our children to attend college"

[Mrs Mungo]

I worked my way through college. DH worked and paid for part of his college too. But, it was about $1k/semester for me (in state) and about $3k/semester for him (out of state). Minimum wage was $3.35/hour and we made about $600/month at our jobs. I lived at home, so did not have too many expenses-car insurance, gas, books, etc. He lived on his own, but he also had part of his paid for and he had other income (GI Bill and National Guard). Both tuitions are without room and board.

 

Minimum wage is now $7.25, so approximately double what it was then. On the other hand, our alma mater is now $4k/semester for in state (without books or room and board) and almost $10k/semester for out of state. That way more than double.

[J-rap]

Gosh, I know several low-income families that have made it work.

 

One family had two children in college at the same time. It's a state college that paid over half in scholarships, and their children worked full-time (long hours) in the summer to pay the rest. They may have taken out a very small loan -- I think they said $10,000 total, for additional expenses. Colleges really vary in our state; some are much more affordable (under $10,000/year).

 

Another family has a son who goes to college every other year. The years in between, he works full-time to pay for the following year. Again, this is for a lower-priced college.

 

I know many students who live with a relative close to the campus so that they don't have to pay tuition rates. (This is probably what our daughter will do when she returns to college.)

 

Community colleges are a good option as well. There is always a way; you just have to be a little creative in how you go about it.

[LisaKinVA]

I'm probably in the economic camp that buys into the "easy access to loans" has led to the increased costs of education, as a big part of the ramp up in education costs. However, like every issue our country deals with, the answer is probably a bit more nuanced... including things like:

 

1) Dumbing down of education (8th grade education for my grandparents generation was, in many cases, superior to that of a high school graduation today)

 

2) More focus on getting into college, and being "worth less" without (ie, devaluing of "dirty jobs," lack of manufacturing jobs, and vocational work that had been the backbone of the middle class.)

 

3) More college graduates ramps up entry level requirements across the board for office work (secretary, receptionist...bookkeepers). College degree is now a "job requirement" -- turning colleges into a place to gain employment skills vs. higher education.

 

4) Supply/Demand (linked to above).

 

I don't have time to go into everything...these are just a few of the cultural aspects driving college tuition up.

[QueenCat]

Keep in mind that what they are counting as the cost of attending college may not be what most people would count. I've seen projected costs list to include things such as travel (to/from school), clothing, personals, etc. Much of that is already being paid for! However, all of those things count in determining how much you are eligible for as far as scholarships and financial need go. For example, the total estimated cost, according to the school, for ds's school is approximately $18,500/year. Tuition is around $8000. Books around $1000. If he lived on campus, that would add $7000. That leaves $2500 for "other" things like personals, clothing, etc, much of what we are already used to spending. He lives at home, so he does have the cost of gas but that's not much (maybe $100/month). So in reality, his costs are about $10,000/year (not counting clothing, personals, spending, since those expenses existed before college). And his academic scholarships.... are $10,000/year. High but not super high ACT (upper 20s) got him enough to cover pretty much everything at an average state school so it can be done. We did save some so he will get to use that for either some seed money when he leaves home or to help with grad school.

[The Governess]

.

[elfgivas]

:grouphug: its hard to look ahead and wonder how it will ever be possible.

 

here are some things we did to get the older two thru college. it was nuts; it worked.

 

a) when we realized we were up the creek without a paddle, it was four years until the first entered college. we decided to pay off our mortgage, so that the monthly mortgage payment could become the monthly college payment. we did that just about every way we could. we switched to paying every two weeks. we put any money gifts together and made a lump sum payment every time we were permitted to. we used the envelope system for money, cutting everything to the bone. the first year was truly dreadful, the next year a bit better, etc.

 

b) we saved money to buy cars, and only bought a car worth what we had saved. so all the interest towards a car loan was gone at the end of that first year of the four. we have never bought a car worth more than $20,000. ever. this is my first year with a car with electric windows. this is the first car whose colour i got to choose, because we only bought lost leaders.

 

c) then, when oldest dd got accepted to stanford, dh took a second job rather than me working and the littles having to go to public school.

 

d) oldest worked 16 hrs a week at the college

 

e) second started off at a four year university, and that was a bad fit. so she did two years at a community college, then transferred to a four year. by then, the mortgage was paid off, the car paid off, and we could pay for two of them. second dd worked 20 hours/week at the community college.

 

f) now, we have accounts for the next two. by the time they graduate, we may have enough to pay for two years for each of them, but maybe not. if that is true, they'll do general ed classes at a community college and then apply to transfer to a four year.

 

plan b was for dh to get a job at a university or college. professors get half tuition paid for their kids. so in that same four years, dh went back to school and got his phd, while continuing to work full time, so that plan b might be possible. his work decided to pay his tuition, so that helped. we didn't end up needing to use plan b for the older two; we'll see for the younger two.

 

before we married, my plan b was to sell my house, become a nun and the elders could use all the money for tuition. (seriously)

 

hth,

ann

 

ps. for us, its really important to not go to the "either/or" place. either we can afford it or not, etc. we try to ask what we can do now to make then more likely. that's all, but it reallly helps!

[LisaKinVA]

I have no idea how we're going to navigate this... our state, while it has excellent state schools, does not have agreements with CC colleges for transfer. My oldest has an engineering/science bent and zero of the CC math or engineering courses would satisfy a BS at a state college. He may still take them, but more to show rigor, than satisfy lower requirements.

 

He has his sights set on MIT. We will make too much money to qualify for any substantive need-based aid for MIT (notice that that is FUTURE tense...but the way FAFSA works, is they assume you've been making X$ for years, and have saved based upon that amount since the child was born...don't I wish!). So, while he shoots for MIT, I'm hoping he can get into an honors-engineering program at UVA or Alabama (which means he can't live at home). The only university he could live at home to attend does not offer engineering/physics degrees. Although, he could get an excellent pre-law, education, communication studies types of degrees there.

 

We're taking everything one year at a time. We have five children, at least 3 of which are definitely college-bound. My other two are far too young for me to make any predictions yet. ;)

[mktkcb]

We also have no way to pay for college, BUT, for us that has meant first community college, then transferring to a school in commuting distance, and my 2 oldest both have had jobs since right out of hs. Apply for financial aid even in cc. Get all the grants you can get. My oldest transferred to a state school. She's an engineering major and lives at home. Commuting is a 30 min drive there and back most days through SoCal traffic, but she does it. We make it work. If it takes longer to get through college because you have to work, then ok. She only took about 1000 in loans last year, and plans to pay what grants don't cover out of pocket this year. My middle one is still finding herself in cc LOL. She will be something artsy (yeah...don't get me started on employability, it's just who she is kwim?), probably a design major of some kind. Fashion, textile arts, who knows. She got a fee waiver that mostly covers her costs this year, so I'm really happy about that. All this to say that there are ways. Maybe not ideal, perfect, IV league type ways, but ways. If you and they are committed to doing it.

[BarbecueMom]

They also are not guaranteed a job, especially a career-military job. The military is a draw-down period. They are not bringing all ROTC graduates on full-time active duty.

 

:iagree: Here's our cautionary, yet somewhat encouraging tale of ROTC. DH was planning on active duty, but ended up commissioned into the Reserves. You don't get orders to a specific unit in the Reserves, and there's no list of units and openings (at least not one that was shared with DH). So in the three months before graduation, DH was trying to find an opening for a 2LT in a Reserve unit (through email and phone networking) AND a civilian job that he didn't realize he was going to need when companies were doing on-campus interviews and filling positions months before. Both the Reserve slot and the civilian job needed to be somewhat in the same area, plus he still had about four-ish months of training coming up.

 

Then his training orders came through, and by error he had been put in a National Guard slot instead of Reserves. They wouldn't let him take that spot and pushed his training back a year and a half.

 

Still no permanent civilian job.

 

Then he was injured. Long, frustrating, still-ongoing saga that I won't vent publicly, but the "military career" was practically over before it started.

 

But in the end, he had 2 1/2 of his 4 years of college paid for (3-year scholarship with a detour through bad grades :D), a stipend that supplemented our income during our early married years, and a security clearance that was a foot-in-the-door to his civilian career. He's definitely reaped a lot of benefits, but you can't completely rely on ROTC or military service for the financial or career incentives, even after graduation and commissioning! When it works, it works well, but there are many variables and things that can go very wrong.

[hsingscrapper]

I didn't read the other posts so forgive me if I repeat what others have shared.

 

1) Joining the military will give them access to money for college.

 

2) Job Corps will provide them with sound training and the route I went. At the time, you finished a minimum amount of training, you apply for financial aid and they'll pick up the tab for the rest. We even got a stipend every two weeks as our toiletries were our own expense. They provided food, clothing, basic medical and dental, as well as roof over your head. Look into what they currently provide.

 

3) taking the CLEP could help offset costs, too.

 

Hope this helps!

[G5052]

It's a lot more possible than people want to believe. Honestly, I think most people who discount this option without even considering it, are just scared.

 

 

I wouldn't say that it is impossible. It may be harder than you think though. Among our close friends who have kids at various stages in college, only one has a free ride at this point, and that happened because of a complex chain of events and a more obscure academic focus. Her sister got *nothing* despite having better scores and grades. Both will do fine though IMHO.

[Shellers]

I don't know what the answer is, but I never assumed my parents would contribute to my college education...

 

:iagree: My college package to my kids is free room and board. My kids all plan on working their way through community college and then transferring to a four year college and financing the bill.

 

My oldest is one class away from getting her AA and she has ZERO debt. Her employer helps pay for college so she doesn't have to foot the whole bill.

 

My step daughter went straight to a private four year college and will come out of there owing well over $80,000. We tried to talk her out of going that route but it was her choice.

[trlt]

My son is in college now. He lives in the apartments there (you can choose apartments on campus or dorms). He has a full academic scholarship and $1000 each semester for his rent. We give him $150 a month to cover the portion of rent that his scholarship does not cover. He has a part time job that he uses to pay his other expenses. When he applied to college we did not know how we were going to pay for it. Even though he applied we figured he would probably just live at home and go to CC. We were pleased when he received his scholarship!! He also comes home in the summer and whenever he comes home I send him back with care packages of food/snacks! Oh yeah, my grandma sends him "spending money" each month! It's only $25 but my son is always so grateful!! She never forgets either. The one time she was sick she called me just to let me know she didn't forget.

I guess my point is that you shouldn't (or your husband) panic. Our situation was not good financially because hubby and I still have student loans and we are very pleased that so far DS doesn't have to have any loans.

[Liz CA]

There are community colleges for the first 2 years or general ed.

This would shave off a bundle of your projected cost.

I would not worry too much. There will be a way. There are scholarships and FAFSA as well. It won't do your health any good to stress over this now. You still have a few years left before this becomes an issue. Check with your banker about series E bonds and have relatives give a few for birthdays and Christmas.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

Remember that service academies and ROTC are competitive applications and are often math/engineering focused. They are looking for well prepared students.

[lea_lpz]

If your children have the ability and desire to go to college, they can and will.

 

Will you pay for it all? No. Should you pay for it all? No!

 

Students who have part time jobs in college and help contribute monetarily to paying for their own education actually get better grades and get better jobs than students who have parents pay their way through entirely. The reason is simple; if your own sweat and blood is going into something you appreciate it, but if mommy and daddy are paying for everything, well, you figure who cares if you have to retake a class, or if it takes longer to graduate, etc.

 

Here are some things to consider in making paying for college less scary...

1) Create a college fund and save what you can save within reason without comprimising your own financial future; for example, don't scimp on your own retirement fund to pay for your kids to graduate debt free; your children will have a lot of time to repay student loans. You will be running out of time to save for retirement. Divide by 3. Every child gets some help from the college fund to be fair.

2)Consider having your child go to community college. That will save you about 1/2 the cost of your children attending a 4 year university. They can live at home, eat at home, pack a lunch to school. The cost of attendence at this point would be tutition per unit, gas and car insurance, and their own personal expenses. They can work part time to cover that. I took 12-15 units a semester and was able to pay for all of those things with a part time job and still transfer with a 3.7 GPA. (See below, I also saved half my paycheck.) Community college is great because it allows young adults to transition into college life with their parents guidance still available and they offer much smaller class sizes so students get much more one on one help. You are odds of getting into a really good college are better as a transfer than as a freshmen. I got into UC Berkeley as a transfer, but not as a freshmen.

3) Starting at age 16, your children can begin working part time and save half of their paycheck for a college fund. I did this working part time my my junior and senior year of high school and the two years I attended community college. I saved 10,000 on my own to put towards college when I transfered. And by the way, it didn't impact my grades at all. I could have very well gotten into college straight out of high school. I had a 3.5 GPA and took AP and Honor classes. I chose to go to community college to get into an even better college (I wanted to go to UC Berkeley and save money on school).

4) If you really both want to graduate without student loans, have your child live at home and go to a state school that is commutable (if that's possible). Tutition in public universities is actually not all that expensive. What's expensive is paying for you student's room and board and basic living expenses. Especially if they decide to go to school somewhere where the cost of living is high and rents are high. If they live at home, they can likely still work part time to pay a portion of the expense of tutition, books, and transportation costs. I have a friend who did this and graduated debt free with good jobs and some work experience to add to her resume.

5) Loans. Yep, they can take out loans. The repayment rate on loans are really not all that bad. Their are also loan forgiveness programs for certain fields, like for teachers who work with underserved students. They also have programs for students for loan repayments based on the income. My friend had a 60,000 in loans and applied for this program and only pays $80 a month.

6) Military. Serve 4-6 years and college is paid for.

 

If you think having your kids work part time creates an unfair burden consider what they might do with all that free time on their hands for a minute. Believe me, students with commitments outside of school have better time management skill and spend less time experimenting with alchahol, drugs, a premarital relationships.

Edited August 21, 2012 by lea_lpz

[LisaKinVA]

Remember that service academies and ROTC are competitive applications and are often math/engineering focused. They are looking for well prepared students.

 

Yup...:iagree:

[Barbara H]

Hi Jenny,

First, it is really good you are looking at this now while you still have time and options. Too many people start on this way too late in the process and it is a lot harder. I know it is discouraging but please do not throw up your hands and quit at this point. It is a serious issue for sure, but you do have options.

 

I have a few suggestions to get you started:

 

1. I'm not sure about this mint.com calculator and what it is factoring in. Is it considering the possibility of financial aid or merit aid? If it is just telling you the average cost of college it isn't particularly helpful because most people do not pay the sticker price for college. You may have already done this but if not I would look carefully at the calculator and make sure it is factoring in all of the relevant information. If you want to try another calculator to see if you get similar results try this: http://netpricecalculator.collegeboard.org/

 

2. Help your students' build a strong academic profile. Take homeschooling seriously and take testing seriously. Not every student is going to be able to get merit scholarships, but some students can and sometimes full ride scholarships.

 

3. Look very carefully at college selection paying particular attention to schools where your student may be in the very top of the entering class. Maximize geographic advantages - schools like out of state students, particularly schools located places that not many people want to go.

 

4. Consider the possibility of earning college credit while in high school. Particularly for students looking at state universities it is often not that hard to shave a year of college with APs and CLEPs. Again it requires careful planning early in the process but it can be done. Some states also offer free or reduced cost dual enrollment options at community colleges.

 

5. Look at possibility of two years at community college followed by two years at the state university. For many students this will be the least expensive option, particularly if you can combine it with option 4.

 

6. Help teens look at options where they may earn a good wage and go to college part time. I recently spoke with a student who did this as a lab tech - she took some community college courses during high school and got a relevant certification and then went through college on a part time basis. It wasn't easy, she had to live very frugally and it took longer, but she was able to graduate and then enter the job market with real work experience.

 

Many more options, but those are just a few to get you started. Also, this article may be of some interest. http://homeschoolsuccess.com/the-big-talk-money-and-college/

[hsingscrapper]

I also wanted to add we won't be able to afford college and our boys have flat feet. That eliminates the military. My oldest wants to be a beat cop so he can "kick the crap out of bad guys." Our 9yo ds, thinks-with-stomach, wants to be a chocolatier so we may have to find an apprenticeship or money for the Culinary Institute of America.

[Barbara H]

but you can't completely rely on ROTC or military service for the financial or career incentives, even after graduation and commissioning! When it works, it works well, but there are many variables and things that can go very wrong.

 

I'm glad you raised this. I encourage families to look really carefully at these commitments and ask - what if. I've heard a couple of really heartbreaking examples recently of students who were let go from ROTC in the last year of college. This could happen for a lot of reasons - not making weight, a disciplinary infraction on or off campus, academic problems. At that point your student is on the line for paying back the cost of that education and it won't be with favorable loan terms, deferments, the financial aid they might have received, etc.

 

ROTC remains a good option for a lot of students, but again - eyes wide open - ask lots of questions and be prepared for the worst case scenario.

[Night Elf]

Also doesn't Georgia still have the HOPE scholarship? I am not sure how it applies to homeschoolers or if it does, but it lets most in state high schoolers with a good GPA have their tuition paid by the state. My sister had her entire undergrad tuition paid by that. I realize it may have changed in the years since I was in Georgia, but I thought it was still around.

 

I'm not sure if this has been answered yet but it's definitely changed since I had it years ago. It did pay for everything. Now, however, it pays only a portion of the hourly tuition rate, which I'm interpreting to mean they do not pay anything towards the mandatory fees that are separate from tuition. I've also heard it no longer offers any money towards books. And last, homeschoolers that are not in an eligible program can get it only retroactively after maintaining a B average as a college freshman. I was trying to find information on it for dd20. More information can be found at GAcollege411.

[YaelAldrich]

This is perhaps an unusual suggestion, but as my sister went to a Historically Black university (we're Black), she met several white students who took some sort of minority scholarship. Just a thought!

 

http://www.collegescholarships.org/scholarships/white-scholarship-guide.htm

[Ellie]

1. Not all people need to attend college to be productive, contributing adults.

 

2. That you cannot afford it does not mean that they will not be able to go.

 

Your job is to do as much as possible to prepare your children to be adults. When they are old enough, if they want to attend college, they'll work it out. They might want a trade school, or to apprentice somewhere, if they're just thinking about what to do to support themselves and their families, because not all jobs require college.

[Mrs Mungo]

our boys have flat feet. That eliminates the military.

 

This is not necessarily true. It may serve as an "at first dq," but it is something that people frequently receive waivers for. Waivers are especially common for people who don't have pain associated with fallen arches and/or who don't need corrective orthotics. Just fyi, no pressure or anything. :)

 

I'm glad you raised this. I encourage families to look really carefully at these commitments and ask - what if. I've heard a couple of really heartbreaking examples recently of students who were let go from ROTC in the last year of college. This could happen for a lot of reasons - not making weight, a disciplinary infraction on or off campus, academic problems. At that point your student is on the line for paying back the cost of that education and it won't be with favorable loan terms, deferments, the financial aid they might have received, etc.

 

ROTC remains a good option for a lot of students, but again - eyes wide open - ask lots of questions and be prepared for the worst case scenario.

 

This is a good point too. Worst case scenario? DH had a friend in an early commissioning program who was commissioned with his AA, and had 2 years to finish his degree. He flunked out of his 4 year college. He had lost his commission, had to pay back his full ROTC loan *and* still owed 8 years of service in the military, which he then had to do as an enlisted soldier.

 

Once you are in ROTC, you really must keep up the academics, do daily PT and maintain military discipline. Recreational drug use? DUI? Underaged drinking? Anything like that will get you kicked out. Why? Because as an officer, you will be counseling soldiers not to do that crap on a daily basis.

[Mrs Mungo]

1. Not all people need to attend college to be productive, contributing adults.

 

2. That you cannot afford it does not mean that they will not be able to go.

 

Your job is to do as much as possible to prepare your children to be adults. When they are old enough, if they want to attend college, they'll work it out. They might want a trade school, or to apprentice somewhere, if they're just thinking about what to do to support themselves and their families, because not all jobs require college.

 

I think this is a good point too, there are plenty of decent jobs that do not require college.

[PeacefulChaos]

Honestly? I don't think it's worth stressing over.

I don't really have any ideas for you, other than the fact that the majority of parents do not pay for their kids to go to college (none I know, anyway, and they are all fine).

I highly doubt we will be able to help pay for our kids to go to college and I'm ok with that. It is nothing to be stressed about or feel bad about - it is, for us, a fact of life. It had never even crossed my mind to even try to. If we end up being able to help in one way or another, great. If not, oh well.

[KnitWit]

My dd is in her third year of college. She earned a stack of various scholarships and grants based on her academics and her musical abilities, works during the year (both on campus and a separate job) and so far is debt free and paid up. She worked three jobs this summer, rented rooms with three other girls from a couple who live near campus and rode her bike everywhere.

 

Oh, she's the eldest of six, we are self-employed and our business has taken a hit in this economy. We have not been able to help her out at all.

[Plucky]

I also wanted to add we won't be able to afford college and our boys have flat feet. That eliminates the military. My oldest wants to be a beat cop so he can "kick the crap out of bad guys." Our 9yo ds, thinks-with-stomach, wants to be a chocolatier so we may have to find an apprenticeship or money for the Culinary Institute of America.

 

Flat feet isn't a hindrance most of the time. I am flat footed and I served.

[Pippen]

My dd is 17 and just beginning to take CC courses (right now we can only swing one per semester). She will probably earn a two year or vocational degree, which may be more marketable right now. If she wants to do 2 more years for a BA she will have to work and help pay for it.

 

.

 

My oldest is also starting CC this year. He is living at home and will get his associates finished while working part time. Tuition and books for the year will run about $4500.

[Jane in NC]

Honestly? I don't think it's worth stressing over.

I don't really have any ideas for you, other than the fact that the majority of parents do not pay for their kids to go to college (none I know, anyway, and they are all fine).

I highly doubt we will be able to help pay for our kids to go to college and I'm ok with that. It is nothing to be stressed about or feel bad about - it is, for us, a fact of life. It had never even crossed my mind to even try to. If we end up being able to help in one way or another, great. If not, oh well.

 

We operate in very different cultures. Almost every parent I know contributes in some way to college costs for their kids. The majority? Clearly our observations are contradictory!

 

I think it is lovely that some parents can offer room and board for their college aged students but the reality is that not everyone has a college that is a good fit within driving distance.

 

Another option for students to consider is that of a two year degree or technical certification. We have a friend who is currently in nursing school (middle aged student). He first earned his CNA license so that he can work in a medical/nursing related field while in school. This is a strategy that can work for younger students as well.

[ChristyB in TN]

The information you are getting is off a little. I have two kids at University of Tennessee. The costs aren't that different in GA. As long as they go in state, it it isn't as bad as the costs you are stating. If you don't have any lottery scholarships, academic scholarships, etc, and the child lives in a dorm, the costs much less than you would think. I don't have all the numbers handy, but with the $1500 meal plan (per 2 semesters), $2400 dorm costs, and fees, it is roughly $15,000 per year for my daughter. My son is in an apartment this year so it is different. The grants are plentiful if you qualify, the state schools love academic scholarships and they just sort of trickle in. No one helps us, we just pay it, sacrifice, and take out loans when necessary.

I have a lot of peace with soving each problem as it comes up, not forecasting and being grim about it. College is expensive. There are ways to make it less expensive. I like to sit around this time of year and try to come up withe those. :D

[ChristyB in TN]

I also want to add that community colleges cut the costs WAY down. My older kids got their first year out of the way at a community college while still in high school. They also come home during the summer and attend the community college and get credits less expensively while working and living at home. Everyone has a job while in school, too. My daughter is looking for one now. It is do able, don't worry, college costs are not the biggest issue when you have kids. :001_smile:

[PeacefulChaos]

We operate in very different cultures. Almost every parent I know contributes in some way to college costs for their kids. The majority? Clearly our observations are contradictory!

 

I think it is lovely that some parents can offer room and board for their college aged students but the reality is that not everyone has a college that is a good fit within driving distance.

 

Another option for students to consider is that of a two year degree or technical certification. We have a friend who is currently in nursing school (middle aged student). He first earned his CNA license so that he can work in a medical/nursing related field while in school. This is a strategy that can work for younger students as well.

 

:lol: Wow! I guess it just goes to show how different things can be based on region, etc. :)

I guess I do know people now who have kids the age of mine and have started 'saving for college' for their kids. But they were the first people I'd ever met to do so. :) (These same people don't save for retirement or anything, which has me a little :confused: but, whatever, not my decision to make. :D )

I think it is becoming a little more popular here. I hear people talk about it a little bit here and there regarding their kids, but I'm not sure how many actually do it - as for people in my age range, none of the parents paid.

 

eTA: I just thought of this story - a friend of ours has a son who never paid a dime for college, all the way through. I know he has his masters and am pretty sure he has or is getting his doctorate while teaching somewhere else in NYC. His parents never paid anything, either - he was just amazingly smart. He got scholarships that paid for everything including living expenses (which I believe he still does, if he's still getting the doctorate) - when someone asks him, he doesn't understand why everyone can't just go to college the way he did. He says no one should have to pay anything. :D :lol: Perspective, perspective. :lol:

Edited August 21, 2012 by PeacefulChaos

[Jane in NC]

:lol: Wow! I guess it just goes to show how different things can be based on region, etc. :)

I guess I do know people now who have kids the age of mine and have started 'saving for college' for their kids. But they were the first people I'd ever met to do so. :) (These same people don't save for retirement or anything, which has me a little :confused: but, whatever, not my decision to make. :D )

I think it is becoming a little more popular here. I hear people talk about it a little bit here and there regarding their kids, but I'm not sure how many actually do it - as for people in my age range, none of the parents paid.

 

Let's shake hands so that you can say you "know" someone who saves for retirement and college.

 

Many of the people whom I know live below their means so that they can retire early or travel. Maybe I am just drawn to these sorts of people. It seems that education and travel are more important than stuff for some.of us.

[PeacefulChaos]

Let's shake hands so that you can say you "know" someone who saves for retirement and college.

 

Many of the people whom I know live below their means so that they can retire early or travel. Maybe I am just drawn to these sorts of people. It seems that education and travel are more important than stuff for some.of us.

 

It's a good way to live, IMO. :) That's something we would do if we could.

[Kaleidoscope]

He wrote an e-mail to his parents (and CC'ed to me) titled, "Not possible for our children to attend college" to see if they had any advice. They basically said, "Well, they'll probably get scholarships, and they can get a job. We didn't think we could do it, but we managed to save what you needed. Lots of people attend college without their parents' money." They also pointed out that truck drivers make good money without college.

 

(They also said we should quit homeschooling and I should work FT, but we won't go there ...)

 

Uh .... we're talking over $250,000. It would be absolutely impossible for us to save even half that -- even a quarter of that -- in a few years. Maybe we could save, like $20,000 total, if we're lucky.

 

What job could an 18 year old get that would pay $70,000????

 

Or is the only solution to have them go $70,000 in debt when they're 22????

 

My husband, in particular, in very depressed and panicked about this. He feels that our children have no future.

 

Could someone help me out here? Is it really this bleak? Are the only options for the non-super-wealthy to get huge loans or skip college and become a truck driver??

 

That's our feelings on it all too. Fortunately we will have our house paid off before our oldest starts college. I'll be able to go back to work maybe around that same time since all our kids will be in high school at that point.

 

We figure my income and what we currently pay on our mortgage will help some with college. Dh says he'd rather stick the money away though and have it to help the kids with something once they finish college. We will be in a position to offer our kids a place to live to save money. They may not choose to take us up on that but if that's their choice then it's their problem.

 

Hopefully they will receive some scholarships and such.

 

But we've also told them at 16 they will need to start working and put most of it away for college. They will have to work while in college. It will very possibly take them longer than 4 years to finish their degree. But none of that will hurt them in the long run.

 

We can't stop them from taking on college debt but we won't do anything to help them secure loans. DH has said if they choose to borrow then they can't live at home... I don't feel that strongly so we will see if he mellows out on that point or not. He just wants to do whatever it takes to discourage them.

 

2 of my children are already making plans. DD wants to do pursue working in cosmetology once she's in high school. She feels that will work well with being in college. DS is talking about doing a trade school program so he can hopefully work something more than a minimum wage job. They aren't expecting to have the fun playful college experience. I hate that for them but at the same time it may protect them from a lot of trouble. So if that's how it is then that's how it must be.

 

There are certainly worse things than not being able to pay for their college. I doubt my kids having to put themselves through college will be their biggest challenge in life.

[Plucky]

Honestly? I don't think it's worth stressing over.

I don't really have any ideas for you, other than the fact that the majority of parents do not pay for their kids to go to college (none I know, anyway, and they are all fine).

I highly doubt we will be able to help pay for our kids to go to college and I'm ok with that. It is nothing to be stressed about or feel bad about - it is, for us, a fact of life. It had never even crossed my mind to even try to. If we end up being able to help in one way or another, great. If not, oh well.

 

What stinks is that kids are punished based on their parents' income. I am working solely to help defray college costs for my ds. He will graduate with about $25,000 in debt at the most and we hope for him to come home and work it off but we will just have to see.

 

He will need to work as well. Most of his friends at his uni make excellent money as barristas so I'm hoping he gets in on that. When his sister starts school he needs to be self-sufficient. He'll be a senior by then though.

 

Yeah, it's scary. All my earnings go to education.

[The Girls' Mom]

Chalk us up as some more folks who don't know many people in real life who are paying their kids way through college. It just doesn't happen that often here. In our extended family in particular, you pay your own way or you don't go.

 

AND not going to college does NOT = truck driver. Dh and his brother went to tech/vocational schools after high school (working their way through, btw) and both have decent/good jobs. In fact, my dh who went to school to be a mechanic is doing very well in the company he started out as a grease monkey 20 years ago.

 

I think you'll find the view on college as an absolute need is about to shift drastically.

 

We will not be paying for our kids to go to college. They will have room and board if they choose to go to a CC or local college. They will be encouraged to work and save for their classes and to snag any scholarships that they can. That is all IF they choose to go.

[Plucky]

Chalk us up as some more folks who don't know many people in real life who are paying their kids way through college. It just doesn't happen that often here. In our extended family in particular, you pay your own way or you don't go.

 

AND not going to college does NOT = truck driver. Dh and his brother went to tech/vocational schools after high school (working their way through, btw) and both have decent/good jobs. In fact, my dh who went to school to be a mechanic is doing very well in the company he started out as a grease monkey 20 years ago.

 

I think you'll find the view on college as an absolute need is about to shift drastically.

 

We will not be paying for our kids to go to college. They will have room and board if they choose to go to a CC or local college. They will be encouraged to work and save for their classes and to snag any scholarships that they can. That is all IF they choose to go.

 

I have a cousin that is a truck driver. He makes $120,000 a year and is home regularly with his family. It isn't all bad.

[-M-]

1) Create a college fund and save what you can save within reason without comprimising your own financial future; for example, don't scimp on your own retirement fund to pay for your kids to graduate debt free; your children will have a lot of time to repay student loans. You will be running out of time to save for retirement.

 

RE: the bolded bit in particular -- Absolutely critical. Do not sacrifice retirement savings for a child's college tuition. I know folks get tired of this song, but I will keep singing it. If one can save for both, terrific. But if one can only do one, he *must* save for his retirement.

[Tammi K]

My three oldest attended (or are attending) college completely on their own dime. DD1 has absolutely no student loan debt. She worked as a nanny and a waitress while attending and during summer/off school sessions. Hard work qualified her for a stipend bearing program which helped her.

 

DD2 was offered a large scholarship at an east coast college just as we learned we were moving to Hawaii. She opted to come with us. That meant she had to work as a waitress and decided to take student loans instead of relying on her scholarship. She has about $15,000 in loans and will finish paying them in another year or two as she continues to work at a restaurant and teach piano lessons.

 

DD3 is an RA in her dorm -free room and board. She works as a waitress over the summer to get enough to pay her out-of- state tuition at a state school. (WUE tuition exchange - she pays 150% of in-state tuition)

 

DS1 is currently working full time to have the funds to attend school.

 

DD4, currently 14 and a freshman this year, is starting a photography business. Her earnings will go into her college fund.

 

Every one of my kids was expected to put their hard work into saving funds for college. I have told my kids since they were old enough to understand that my job was to prepare them academically to be able to earn a scholarship. There job was to work hard enough to do it!

 

I paid all of my own college expenses and I expect my kids to work their butts off to do the same for themselves. We help as we are able but not a single kid expected us to foot their bill. It can be done!

[Sneezyone]

There's also this misnomer that kids (18-24) can get student loans on their own. Participation in the FEDERAL student loan program (superior in every way to the private loans available) is contingent on parents providing their income information on the FAFSA. No parent income info, no loans for kids.

 

Keep in mind too that the cost calculator is anticipating/based on increased costs by the time your kids reach college age. Costs will not remain the same. You can't compare the costs of today with the costs today's 2nd graders will face.

 

I'm not sure if either of my children would want to go to my alma mater let alone whether we'd be able to afford them going but four years at today's prices is 225K. Tuition there has nearly doubled since I graduated 15 years ago.

 

Just in case tho, our house will be paid off when DD is a senior in HS or freshman in college. DH split his GI bill so each has 2 years of tuition, fees, room and board covered (and the bennies are indexed to inflation). We're saving those for the more expensive junior and senior years when scholarships tend to dry up. All we really need to worry about/plan for is two years of tuition, fees, room and board for each child.

 

We feel pretty good tho because we started REALLY early when we were flat broke using birthday gifts from family (I literally opened accounts before we knew about any offspring) and have just kept adding over time as our incomes increased. Being a two-income family certainly helps. We live off DH and use my on/off income to pay for savings, travel and big-ticket things like appliances and cars. Which is why I'm back to work again...mama needs a new set of wheels and an overseas posting next time!:tongue_smilie:

[PeacefulChaos]

What stinks is that kids are punished based on their parents' income. I am working solely to help defray college costs for my ds. He will graduate with about $25,000 in debt at the most and we hope for him to come home and work it off but we will just have to see.

 

He will need to work as well. Most of his friends at his uni make excellent money as barristas so I'm hoping he gets in on that. When his sister starts school he needs to be self-sufficient. He'll be a senior by then though.

 

Yeah, it's scary. All my earnings go to education.

 

That is something I have never understood. Especially back when college became the thing to do, I don't know that most parents went into it with the plan to pay for their kids all the way through. It could be that they had a different mindset than me, but I have never understood why federal financial aid depends on the parents' income when there is a good chance the parents aren't the ones paying.

One of the blessings of my unusual upbringing and family situation was that I didn't have that problem. I guess that is one thing - if they had to offer that much financial aid to everyone (if it wasn't based on the parents' income) then I guess they would go broke? (totally saying that seriously... just pondering)

[Sneezyone]

That is something I have never understood. Especially back when college became the thing to do, I don't know that most parents went into it with the plan to pay for their kids all the way through. It could be that they had a different mindset than me, but I have never understood why federal financial aid depends on the parents' income when there is a good chance the parents aren't the ones paying.

One of the blessings of my unusual upbringing and family situation was that I didn't have that problem. I guess that is one thing - if they had to offer that much financial aid to everyone (if it wasn't based on the parents' income) then I guess they would go broke? (totally saying that seriously... just pondering)

 

The federal aid calculation is based on the idea that parents with the means to pay will dump their kids on the public dole if given the chance. The FAFSA gives parents with bad credit an out *that's how I got to take out my own loans* but parents with good credit and otherwise decent incomes are expected to contribute. If you don't want to pay for your kids, you don't have to, but the amount of aid they're eligible for is based on parental income for a good reason.

Edited August 21, 2012 by Sneezyone

[BugsMama]

I only read the first page- but, here is another positive story for you

 

I have a BA, after community college first, with no debt from that degree. I worked full time at a restaurant while in school, stayed focused, and got it done. Grants, scholarships, blood, sweat and tears.

[PeacefulChaos]

The federal aid calculation is based on the idea that parents with the means to pay will dump their kids on the public dole if given the chance. The FAFSA gives parents with bad credit an out *that's how I got to take out my own loans* but parents with good credit and otherwise decent incomes are expected to contribute. If you don't want to pay for your kids, you don't have to but the amount of aid they're eligible for is based on parental income to prevent parents from making millions and then using taxpayer subsidies to find their kids' higher education.

 

Yeah... I can see where it makes sense in that case.

I just wish we lived in an honorable world where people wouldn't lie about it if they could, kwim? I don't think it's the duty of parents to pay for their kids to go to school even if they are millionaires. Not to mention I don't know what the FAFSA would consider a 'decent' income - I was told a couple of weeks ago that I *should* be able to pay hospital bills of $300/mo based on some sliding scale thing they have. :001_huh: Random, I know, but I'm just sitting here thinking that there are so many variables to 'decent' or how much parents 'should' be able to afford.

I know qualifying for very little on the FAFSA doesn't have any direct impact on how much the parents have to pay or anything like that. I just wish we could live in a world where they could say, 'Are you paying for this or are your parents?' and it would totally be answered honestly, kwim? And then things would be determined accordingly.

Ah, well...

[Momof3littles]

I only read the first page- but, here is another positive story for you

 

I have a BA, after community college first, with no debt from that degree. I worked full time at a restaurant while in school, stayed focused, and got it done. Grants, scholarships, blood, sweat and tears.

 

I know lots of people who worked their way through college. My concern is that it is becoming increasingly difficult to make that happen. I think it was more doable in the past, but now with the sharp rise in tuition, it is going to be really difficult to work your way through school at many schools, including public universities. Some states still have affordable in-state tuition, but tuition at state schools has been climbing with a reduction in their funding. I know of some in-state public universities that have increased tuition 10% in a single year. In my state there has been discussion of a 7.5% hike, which still results in a major budget shortfall for the state colleges...meaning, more hikes are probably coming shortly.

 

THe admissions to some state schools has become more competitive with the economy the way it is. That also means it may be more difficult to qualify for scholarships at some state schools.

 

I know I was shocked when I looked up my college's tuition today as compared to 12 years ago when I graduated. It nearly doubled. My parents scrimped and got me through with reasonable loans in addition to the scholarships I received. That would no longer be an option for my family, because my degree would now be over 300K. I got a degree in a highly employable field, but I'm not sure it would have been worth taking on those loans, especially since I now SAH. My program's tuition per year has nearly doubled, and then the length to completion has increased because the minimum degree needed to sit for licensure has increased as well.

 

There was a recent thread on "good jobs" people could get with bachelor's degrees, and I think that's the other half of the story. IMO, it is becoming increasingly difficult to find high (decent?) paying jobs without a graduate degree, and a graduate degree still doesn't necessarily equate to a high paying job or an easy time finding employment. I see it in my own major, which was in an allied health field. I did a 5 year combo bachelor's and master's degree (master's was needed to sit for licensure). Now a doctoral degree will be needed, and most schools have already made the transition. So the length of time to degree completion has also increased, in addition to the near doubling in tuition. My program was about 125K roughly, and the same program in the 12 years since I graduated is more like 300K now. It is a profession still in demand, with good prospects and a good salary...but not *that* good, assuming you are going to be taking on mega loans. It pays new grads pretty well, but most people top out their career at under 6 figures.

 

I get really sad when I think about my own kids. The number of jobs that pay well with a bachelor's degree seem to be dropping IMO. DH has a PhD in a science field, I have a master's degree in a healthcare field, and neither of us is optimistic about employment prospects in the future for our kids. It seems like the # of jobs that pay well with a bachelor's are decreasing all of the time, which is an issue IMO when you combine it with young people taking on larger loans for college.

 

The two of those things in combination are a big problem IMO.

Edited August 21, 2012 by Momof3littles

[lea_lpz]

There's also this misnomer that kids (18-24) can get student loans on their own. Participation in the FEDERAL student loan program (superior in every way to the private loans available) is contingent on parents providing their income information on the FAFSA. No parent income info, no loans for kids

 

This is absolutely true, but even with parents who have decent incomes, students can still take out a moderate loan. My first year after I transferred, I was able to take a subsidized loan out for $5,500 a semester and they made $130,000 a year. This covered my tutition, books, and health insurance. I used the money I saved to pay for my living expenses and worked over summer break and had a part time job.

 

Then, my husband and I were living together at the time, I got pregnant, so I was no longer a dependent. We got married and I became eligible for financial aid and applied for scholarships. My DH worked full time. We've been on our own ever since financially, but we did it! ;)

 

I'm not suggesting my route, but students with children or married are not dependents and their parents income is not a factor. I actually wish we'd have gotten married instead of moving in together because I would have been a independent student that first year :). After being a parent as an undergrad, I got $18,000 a year in grants and scholarships. So I didn't work my daughter's first year, and then the next year I had a work study job and graduated that year.

[Julie Smith]

Yeah... I can see where it makes sense in that case.

I just wish we lived in an honorable world where people wouldn't lie about it if they could, kwim? I don't think it's the duty of parents to pay for their kids to go to school even if they are millionaires. Not to mention I don't know what the FAFSA would consider a 'decent' income - I was told a couple of weeks ago that I *should* be able to pay hospital bills of $300/mo based on some sliding scale thing they have. :001_huh: Random, I know, but I'm just sitting here thinking that there are so many variables to 'decent' or how much parents 'should' be able to afford.

I know qualifying for very little on the FAFSA doesn't have any direct impact on how much the parents have to pay or anything like that. I just wish we could live in a world where they could say, 'Are you paying for this or are your parents?' and it would totally be answered honestly, kwim? And then things would be determined accordingly.

Ah, well...

 

You post reminds me of a movie. It takes place in a world were no body every lies. Then the main character thinks up the idea of lieing - everyone of course believes every world he says since no one had ever lied in the world before.

[jhschool]

Grand Valley State University's tuition is less than $10,000 a year. That's about $1100 a month for 9 months.

If the student were living at home and commuting, there

would be only gas costs.

You can work 10 hours a week

at about $7/hour -- that's $280 a month. And you still have time for homework and things like that. So your parents only have to come up with about $850 a month.

 

If you get a summer job that pays $10 an hour ($400 a week, $1600 a month, $4800 for the summer), you have decreased the tuition from $10,000 to $5200. With your $280 a month, your parents have to contribute a lot less.

Sounds doable to me. Just live at home, work part time

during college (10 hours a week is not much) and full time

during the summers.