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What would you do? (baptism related, again)

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GAH! I am sure you ladies remember my posts about my kids baptism and all the drama. I finally got everyone on board and we are doing it in my town where I live. We finally had picked out all four godparents - and we knew that 3 of them were on board.


The only thing I had to do was ask my cousin - who I had asked to be godmother when I was pregnant. My cousin and I had been close for awhile, and I knew she was struggling with depression (I was the only one in the family who knew about this - perhaps outside of her sister). Last time I saw her was her wedding in August 2008. In May 2010, I was pregnant with my DD and she basically dropped off the earth- turns out she was having marriage problems (it was a very strange set of circumstances) and then by Sept 2010 they were divorced.


She has been having issues - that much was apparent, but no one in my family really knew what was going on - and well, yesterday my mom told me that my aunt finally admitted to her that my cousin has been abusing pills and my aunt and uncle had cut off paying for her rent in April and they haven't talked to my cousin since! (I guess she refuses to answer the phone).


That would be all fine and dandy, but I just scheduled the baptism, and emailed my cousin like a week ago asking her if she would be able to be DS's Godmother like I had originally asked her. Of course, she accepted...


I have no idea what to do! Do I ask my cousin about it? I'm petrified of my family making enough of a scene with my sister (if she can leave the state to attend) and now with my extended family apparently on the outs as well?!!? What do I do? What can I do?

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Hmm. What is a godparent to you? People seem to have different requirements for the job. It seems like a lot of people go for honoring those they are close to or used to be close to, much like the attendants at a wedding. Others think of it as the person they'd want to care for their children if something were to happen to them. To us, a godparent is someone who is there to spiritually guide our children, both while we are here and especially if something were to happen to us. So, for us, we did not choose family or close friends as none share our religious convictions. We chose members of our church who we felt would best serve that role for our boys.


If I had found out something that made me think they truly weren't up to the task in between asking them and the baptism itself, I would hate to do it, but I'd have to reconsider it. It would have to be something major and something that I felt would negatively affect their ability to act as godparents as I under the roles.


So, I'd ask you what you see as the godmother's role first. Then, have you heard from your cousin? It sounds like you haven't? Perhaps SHE doesn't feel up for this role now? IDK, it's a difficult situation when family is involved.

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If she accepted the invitation again by email, I am sure she knows that the family will be there. I wouldn't worry about it. People need to do what they have to do to get along at events like this.


That is what I am hoping for. Oh please let everything go smoothly! :)

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