A little girl talk for the over 40s, anyone?

[LibraryLover]

If you dealt with anxiety during perimenopause for reasons that didn't seem to make sense, did it go away when all was said and done? How long did that take? Things that used to seem simple, now often feel like chores. Doesn't feel like depression, or what I think would be depression. Only happens for things that never used to bother me. Getting ready to go out (always have a great time), am I out of milk? (like I can't just go buy some?) , worried about deadlines for non life -threatening events, being overly worried about making sure I have enough tickets for events...did I leave anyone out? (It's not like I'm talking about sold out $500 tickets or anything.)

Driving me nuts. Hormones? Really? I don't get it. Why would it manifest that way?

Edited October 16, 2013 by LibraryLover

[Jennifer in MI]

This IS me! I was up tossing and turning last night worrying about stupid stuff. Really stupid stuff. The everyday things that I used to do (mostly) happily now feel like chores. I am hosting Christmas this year and I used to LOVE planning it and I'm dreading it this year. Even vacations are stressing me out! I used to love planning and researching trips.

 

I don't know if it's hormonal, but I was just about to consider calling my doctor to make sure I wasn't depressed. (I don't think I am, but then again, I'm not sure exactly what depression feels like!)

 

:grouphug: You definitely are not alone!!!

[Liz CA]

When estrogen and progesterone drop, it can affect memory. Mine is not what it used to be and I hear this from many other women.

There are some supps you can try, i.e Maca, Black Cohosh, Evening Primrose, etc.

 

I think some of the anxiety / overly worried issues may stem from the same thing. I especially recognize the "chores" vs. "used to be not an issue" thing you mentioned.

[freesia]

I can't answer from experience whether it ends but I can offer some company. My college roomate's aunt says that it was her biggest perimenopause symptom and that it does go away. Mine is similar to how I feel breastfeeding so I'm pretty sure it is hormonal for me. It went away after each weaning except my last weaning (at 43.) I use L-Theamine to manage mine.

[MFG]

Let me offer a little hope at the end of the tunnel. Once everything was *done* I felt much better mentally and emotionally. The anxiety and *extreme* irritability began to subside and life was just easier (for me and everyone else around!) Even memory improved, although not to school day/ young adult levels. So glad that was just a phase and not my permanent condition from then on!

[dbmamaz]

i've been anxious my whole life lol and weaning always kicked it up for me. I feel like my energy is way down and my motivation to do ANYTHING is way down, but i feel like its just old age. i know, 47 isnt that old. i'm sure feeling old.

 

really looking forward to this being all over with!!

[Onceuponatime]

Let's not quote this, ok. lol

 

If you dealt with anxiety during perimenopause for reasons that didn't seem to make sense, did it go away when all was said and done? How long did that take? Things that used to seem simple, now often feel like chores. Doesn't feel like depression, or what I think would be depression. Only happens for things that never used to faze. Getting ready to go out (always have a great time), am I out of milk? (like I can't just go buy some?) , worried about deadlines for non life -threatening events, being overly worried about making sure I have enough tickets for events...did I leave anyone out? (It's not like I'm talking about sold out $500 tickets or anything.)

 

Driving me nuts. Hormones? Really? I don't get it. Why would it manifest that way?

 

I'm going through the exact same thing at 48yo. Also, I've always had a tendency to mild social anxiety, but I currently feel like I could happily live alone for the rest of my life. I can mentally stand back and examine these feelings and know that they are irrational, but the doesn't change the fact that they are still there.

 

Being forgetful or unmindful is the thing annoying me now. I've been burning food and leaving out essential ingredients. I hope my famiy doesn't think I'm losing it.

[delaney]

2 years ago I had my first panic attack and I attribute it to getting older. I too would prefer to just live away from EVERYONE and have just my family around me. I sometimes hate simple tasks like going to the store and where I once used to LOVE going to the mall...I now hate shopping.:confused:

[sheryl]

LL, It could be hormonal, but have you considered "maybe" a vitamin deficiency?

 

When I was perimenopausal, my hormones did a number on me for a period of time. I was whacky. :glare::confused::lol:

 

You may just want to get a cbc.

 

:grouphug: for anyone going into perimenopause. I'm passed that now and PTL much better.

[DB in NJ]

I am so glad you posted this!! I've been feeling the same way lately. *Evetything* is such a chore! I could happily do nothing but sit on a beach all day, and even that sounds like work (plan and pack food, drive there, etc.).

 

I'm 48. Hoping this phase passes QUICKLY for both of us!

[Bang!Zoom!]

I'm not done, but really became fed up with what I knew were symptoms and went the pharma route. I did end up using supplements identical to OTC and dropping the patch; too much of a rollercoaster for me.

 

Works for me.

 

Gotta say you really need to advocate for yourself at the doctors, they want to spin it immediately into depression and throw anti depression meds at you.

 

You can do labs to show the dips and rise in hormones, do that.

 

Biggest deal of all is sleep. Good sleep.

[CAMom]

2 years ago I had my first panic attack and I attribute it to getting older. I too would prefer to just live away from EVERYONE and have just my family around me. I sometimes hate simple tasks like going to the store and where I once used to LOVE going to the mall...I now hate shopping.:confused:

 

Me too!!:)

 

My first panic attack was 3 years ago completely and totally out of the blue just before my 40th birthday.

 

I keep telling my dh that I want to move to Wyoming where the cows outnumber the people! I get anxious about stupid stuff now and feel overwhelmed very easily. I actually had to go on a very small dosage of anti-anxiety medication and I can now keep the anxiety in check pretty well.

 

But, I still feel overwhelmed by simple tasks now that I didn't used to.

 

I'm 43.:)

[GailV]

After reading up on various supplements extensively, I started taking a very small assortment. Wow, it made quite a difference. Really lowered my tendency to wake up in the middle of the night panicking about things like the need to call for a well-child visit (really -- like that's something worth worrying about, for pete's sake) or stuff like that. But I'm pretty sure what works for me wouldn't necessarily work for someone else.

 

I didn't realize this phase would ever end, so that's happy news y'all are giving me.

[annandatje]

It was unsettling for me to realize just how much hormones could affect outlook. Like you, I got easily upset or frustrated over events that would have been considered a minor annoyance. The good news is that things eventually settle down, and life returns to its usual state.

[jen3kids]

I have experienced similar things - the summer before I turned 40 I had a panic attack crossing a bridge I have crossed a bazillion times - it's not even a big bridge. My dh had to come rescue ds and I.

 

I too wake in the middle of the night and have difficulty getting back to sleep because I'm worried about 'stupid stuff'. It is really annoying.

 

I have found that more exercise and a well-balanced diet help a lot. I'd love more info about natural supplements to deal with it.

[Bang!Zoom!]

Jen, the classic mix is on the back of Estroven packages.

 

Just adapt the ingredients into single supplements and build a chart for 3x a day.

 

Depending on how your body is breaking down and or needing them, change your dose.

 

I'm really high on the B's and D's here.

 

I just throw my junk in the juicer and grind it with fruit and slam it. Way easier than taking a handful of stuff.

 

B, D, Black Cohash and Fish Oil are my biggies.

[FairyMom]

This IS me! I was up tossing and turning last night worrying about stupid stuff. Really stupid stuff. The everyday things that I used to do (mostly) happily now feel like chores. I am hosting Christmas this year and I used to LOVE planning it and I'm dreading it this year. Even vacations are stressing me out! I used to love planning and researching trips.

 

I don't know if it's hormonal, but I was just about to consider calling my doctor to make sure I wasn't depressed. (I don't think I am, but then again, I'm not sure exactly what depression feels like!)

 

:grouphug: You definitely are not alone!!!

 

I'm so glad to hear this! I am usually so organized and everything has a place; but the last few months, it just seems like everything takes a lot more effort than it used to. It's not just physically, emotionally I have a harder time getting motivated. I wake up at 3 am over silly things and can't get back to sleep easily. :glare: Oh, well, at least I don't have any grey yet. :D

[Denisemomof4]

I'm 49. I don't have anxiety as a symptom. Are you getting enough magnesium? B complex? I believe those are CRUCIAL.

 

I am more impatient thes days. I feel like dh or the girls are constantly questioning me and it grinds on my nerves. Then i want to blurt something out but can't find my words. Then I get frustrated because I can't find my words so I have blurt out, too many times, "Stop asking so many questions! everyne is always questioning me!". :sad: i also find that I need more QUIET time alone. I also find things I've been doing for years, even enjoying, are more like chores now.

 

I was just speaking with someone yesterday at length. She is now post menopausal and could relate to every single thing I stated above.

 

I can't wait for this to be over.

 

If I were experiencing anxiety, I would definitely take L-theanine. It WORKS and is all natural. I took anxiety meds when I placed my mom on Hospice care in my home. I was terrified of watching her die, terrified I wouldn't notice a sign of pain, etc. I took prescription meds but when I wanted to go off them six months later, I started to have panic attacks. The l-theanine took those completely away and I was able to then just stop everything.

[Wheres Toto]

Totally lacking in motivation here too. I feel like I don't have the energy to do anything, just getting the kids lunch (not complicated at all - they eat the same thing every day) seems like so much work. Of course, the complete and total lack of adequate sleep might also be contributing.

 

The doctor put me on an anti-depressant earlier this year for anxiety because I was getting actual physical symptoms when stressed. First he checked my heart, then recommended the ad. It did help a lot, at least the physical symptoms went away.

 

I went back recently because I was having asthma problems with the high heat/humidity/air quality warnings this summer. He put me on an inhaler that had me completely losing all ability to sleep so I stopped taking it since the weather situation has also changed. He also did full blood work-up and I'm Vitamin D deficient. So, I'm exploring more vitamin supplementation.

 

I currently take:

Multivitamin

Calcium with magnesium

Vitamin C

Vitamin D3

 

and I'm getting ready to add:

Fish Oil

sub-lingual B complex

 

I eat a lot of greens, fresh fruit (berries, apples, bananas) and vegetables, fish a few times a week, green tea every day. But I also still eat a lot of carbs and sugar. I'm working on slowly cutting down.

 

I'm 43 and have been a total *itch the past few weeks. Poor dh. :001_huh:

[Georgiana Daniels]

I'm 40 and lately have been feeling just bleh--like I'm losing my mojo. But you've all basically articulated many components of my weirdness. Listening in

 

:bigear:

[DarlaS]

2 years ago I had my first panic attack and I attribute it to getting older. I too would prefer to just live away from EVERYONE and have just my family around me. I sometimes hate simple tasks like going to the store and where I once used to LOVE going to the mall...I now hate shopping.:confused:

 

:iagree:

 

And to further strengthen my resolve to just stay home, I've always hated driving. It's worse now that there are so many more idiots than ever on the roads. :tongue_smilie:

 

No, seriously! There really are!

 

 

 

:leaving:

[annandatje]

Mine lasted nearly 2 years. Mild anxiety, worrying, panic attacks. I refused the meds route and decided to tough it out. I tried to eat healthier, get more exercise, etc, knowing it would end soon. It's been almost a year since my last cycle and I feel so good knowing that it's through.

 

I did not go the meds route either. Simply knowing that it was hormonally inspired and not something pathological was comforting to me. Eating healthy *does* make a difference. When I reduced my carbohydrate intake, I felt less sluggish, and my body stayed cooler.

[VeteranMom]

I'm peri-menopausal and feel like a "light has gone out" for me. I'm not "me" anymore. I used to be really organized, but not anymore. Even simple things like picking up something at the grocery store is a struggle. I've been on bio-identical since Dec. The anxiety is better, but I still feel much different than I used to feel.

[Negin]

For me, exercise helps a lot. I'm not always able to be consistent. It's like a catch-22. I need to feel motivated and somewhat energized in order to start. For the past few days, after a bit of a slump, I've started exercising slowly again. It helps a bit.

Other things already mentioned:

Prayer

Sleep - huge problem with me - :glare:

Healthy eating - challenged in that area at the moment

Supplements

Positive Thinking

A good support system - lacking in that area

 

My first panic attack was 3 years ago

Mine have been this year. They're awful.

I'm 44.

 

I keep telling my dh that I want to move to Wyoming where the cows outnumber the people!

Yes, that and the Cotswolds - where the sheep outnumber the people. :D

[sparrow]

:seeya: 42 here.

 

Last year was particularly bad, because I was dealing the serious health issues of my elderly parents. Things have calmed down on that front, but I still find myself getting edgy about the tiniest things. I can only describe myself as scatterbrained at times--and sometimes people notice, which is embarrassing :blushing:.

 

My big thing, and I've been doing this frequently for about 2 years, is waking up in a panic and digging through my nightstand looking for BC pills! My husband took care of *that* 10 years ago and I haven't been on the pill in probably 15 years! I just feel like I'm forgetting something. *sigh*

[dtsmamtj]

I too am very glad you posted this!!! I have yet to meet any of my friends who are going through the same season of life that have had to deal with this. I call it my "hormonal demon". I am only 46 and have been at this for over 5 years.

 

T

[elegantlion]

 

Biggest deal of all is sleep. Good sleep.

 

:iagree: I've always been a wacky moody person, high highs, low lows. But if my sleep gets messed with I'm horrible. I did my own little sleep study a few years ago and found I do best with 9 hours of uninterrupted sleep. How often does that happen? Rarely, 2-3 nights out of the week maybe.

 

Add hormonal anxiety, life anxiety, high school, worrying about my parents aging, my dh's health and job, blah, blah. I feel like I've had to be the glue for a few years and I'm ready for a break. A very long peaceful break on the beach. It won't happen for a while.

 

I'm ready to be done with the whole "female" thing. My son is almost 15, we aren't having anymore. I'm 45, my mom had early menopause. I think she was done by my age. I've had two abdominal surgeries that messed up my insides and the physical effects of my cycle are a pain. If we had insurance and I didn't dislike hospitals so much I'd be asking for a hysterectomy. I'm just done with it can you tell?:tongue_smilie:

 

I had the tampon talk with ds the other day in the feminine hygiene aisle. He was standing quietly while I debated on two boxes of tampons. I reminded him that his behavior was good and that he should never tell his wife to hurry up while standing in that particular aisle, unless he wanted to get yelled at in the store. I also reminded him that should he be asked to buy tampons to take a picture of the particular box noting color and size before heading to the store. Then he should also stop in the chocolate aisle and add something from that aisle, also noting her favorite kind of chocolate. So, I've done my part to make sure my future DIL has an understanding and supportive spouse. Real men buy tampons and chocolate for their wives if duty calls. :lol:

[sparrow]

:iagree: I've always been a wacky moody person, high highs, low lows. But if my sleep gets messed with I'm horrible. I did my own little sleep study a few years ago and found I do best with 9 hours of uninterrupted sleep. How often does that happen? Rarely, 2-3 nights out of the week maybe.

 

Add hormonal anxiety, life anxiety, high school, worrying about my parents aging, my dh's health and job, blah, blah. I feel like I've had to be the glue for a few years and I'm ready for a break. A very long peaceful break on the beach. It won't happen for a while.

 

I'm ready to be done with the whole "female" thing. My son is almost 15, we aren't having anymore. I'm 45, my mom had early menopause. I think she was done by my age. I've had two abdominal surgeries that messed up my insides and the physical effects of my cycle are a pain. If we had insurance and I didn't dislike hospitals so much I'd be asking for a hysterectomy. I'm just done with it can you tell?:tongue_smilie:

 

I had the tampon talk with ds the other day in the feminine hygiene aisle. He was standing quietly while I debated on two boxes of tampons. I reminded him that his behavior was good and that he should never tell his wife to hurry up while standing in that particular aisle, unless he wanted to get yelled at in the store. I also reminded him that should he be asked to buy tampons to take a picture of the particular box noting color and size before heading to the store. Then he should also stop in the chocolate aisle and add something from that aisle, also noting her favorite kind of chocolate. So, I've done my part to make sure my future DIL has an understanding and supportive spouse. Real men buy tampons and chocolate for their wives if duty calls. :lol:

 

This is excellent! What a good mom :001_smile:.

[Abbeygurl4]

I am so glad you posted this!! I've been feeling the same way lately. *Evetything* is such a chore! I could happily do nothing but sit on a beach all day, and even that sounds like work (plan and pack food, drive there, etc.).

 

I'm 48. Hoping this phase passes QUICKLY for both of us!

 

:iagree:

 

To the OP: Glad you started this thread!

[LibraryLover]

I'm very happy to know this will not last forever. Thank you. It's wrong to not feel that you are the person you once were; upbeat, ready to drop everything and go on an adventure, to worrying at 3am about whether there is enough fruit left for your 18 yr old's sack lunch, or whether you can put together a matching outfit for the farmers' market (even though you just washed all of your clothing. lol Really?)

I feel much better realizing this seems more common than not. And you're right...there is so much to do-- both on the mother end, and the daughter end.

 

 

Edited October 15, 2013 by LibraryLover

[Shellers]

I had the tampon talk with ds the other day in the feminine hygiene aisle. He was standing quietly while I debated on two boxes of tampons. I reminded him that his behavior was good and that he should never tell his wife to hurry up while standing in that particular aisle, unless he wanted to get yelled at in the store. I also reminded him that should he be asked to buy tampons to take a picture of the particular box noting color and size before heading to the store. Then he should also stop in the chocolate aisle and add something from that aisle, also noting her favorite kind of chocolate. So, I've done my part to make sure my future DIL has an understanding and supportive spouse. Real men buy tampons and chocolate for their wives if duty calls. :lol:

 

LOL My DS12 has three older sisters and knows way too much about periods.

 

I had my first anxiety attack right before I turned 40. I never associated with getting old. I've had a few more attacks since. I've actually had panic attacks in my sleep and wake up trying to catch my breath. Maybe it is age related?

 

I just turned 43 on Sunday.

[sparrow]

Coincidentally, my husband sent me this today:

 

Women, Sort Yourself Out

 

It's from BBC's That Mitchell and Webb Look, so if you're familiar the show, you know it's not PC :D. You've been warned.