CactusPair Posted August 18, 2012 Share Posted August 18, 2012 Hi. I posted a couple of weeks back about my almost 13 yr. old ds struggling with anxiety, OCD, etc. He is seeing a child psychologist who specializes in cognitive behavior therapy. Some of the techniques she has taught him may be starting to help, but I'm not sure if his improvement is due to that or something else. I do know that he has a **really** hard time adapting to changes in his routine and environment, negotiating life stresses and frustration, and dealing with disappointment and boredom. He may or not be on the A spectrum. He "straddles" several different dx, to use his therapist's term, but doesn't fit neatly into any category. Kinda like his mom, I guess. He's had sensory processing challenges since birth. I read all the books I could when he was little and tried to provide a diverse sensory diet using what was available to me at the time. He also went to OT when he was 5 where he received the usual sensory program therapy and Therapeutic Listening. We followed up with VT when he was 6. It was a lot easier to maintain an sensory diet program for him when he was younger. Most of his childhood activities and interests provided the needed sensory opportunities and he continued to improve as he got older--more regulated, less tormented, etc. He's been in dance classes for 5 years (excellent body awareness therapy!!!) And he's played, played, played in the house and outside. But now he's a BIG kid. Not so much playing anymore. He's still in dance and participates in community sports. He throws a mini-basketball around in the house a lot and immerses himself in Wii sports (often a disaster, though, emotionallly). Other than these outlets, though, he doesn't get a lot of sensory regulating tasks. As his mother, I can see that this poor sensory diet is contributing to his anxiety, lack of control and regulation, depression, etc. What can I do to help provide age-appropriate sensory integration activities for him? I don't even know what might be suitable for a boy this age? At this point, I'm open to anything. I'm worried about costs, but am sincerely willing to do what it takes to help him. Please throw me any ideas you might have! What have you tried or heard about? What has worked with your older child or other people you know? What hasn't? ************************************* As a side note, I'm getting sick of his outbursts involving frustration, rigidity and perfectionism. His tantrums used to be so frequent and intense when he was little, I'd just crawl up in a ball and cry sometimes. Over the years, he calmed down so much and our life got so much more peaceful and happier. Lately though, **I'm** starting to get so stressed by **his** stress. I want to hide under the covers some days, maybe even curl into the fetal position again. He's starting to get to me, you know? I'm wondering how much of his behavior is a discipline issue??? Maybe if I just crack down on him with an enough-is-enough/tough love policy he'll reel some of his behaviors in? He CAN control it in public. Out of necessity, I used to be strict. I used a zero-tolerance, time-out! rule as part of my "Transforming the Difficult Child" parenting. Rules were clear, but fair. I used a gentle-firm "tomato-staking" approach, and nurtured and guided with positive reinforcement and respect. After a lot of practice, it was effective. In the last few years, I've gotten (too) relaxed. Ds didn't need "managing" anymore. He had more self-discipline and peace than most adults. But he obviously needs some parental guidance now. The truth is, I'm not sure how to set expectations and standards for an older kid. And I don't know how much accountability I should require? He's wearing me down and I'm starting to get angry. I'm only human. But I don't know if my anger is clouding my judgement or actually clarifying the issue here, if that makes sense? How do you know how much of the behavior is a discipline issue and how much is a special needs problem that he truly can't help right now? How do you give an older kid the equivalent of a "time-out" to manage behavior? Sending him to his room will NOT help, believe me. That might work for the Cleavers, but not here. There used to be a mom here who sent her older kid out to do laps in the yard when his SPD behavior/attitudes escalated. I'm wondering if that might actually work? I know that I need to set up a highly-structured routine in our house and school. Boot camp life seems appealing right now. I need ideas! Help!:confused: Thanks for any idea, feedback, shared experiences, guidance:auto::bigear: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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