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Poll: Would you/do you take your kids out of school (yes, I know...) for vacation?


Would you have your kid skip school for a week of vacation?  

  1. 1. Would you have your kid skip school for a week of vacation?

    • Yep, in a heartbeat
      328
    • Not a chance
      52
    • Obligatory Other
      48


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The "screw the schools" mentality makes me happy some folks choose to homeschool :glare:

 

Bill

 

Really? I don't think that's the dominant opinion at all - most people have pretty balanced responses about what thresholds would have to be met before pulling a kid from school for vacation. A military wife here posted that her kids' prinicipal denied time off for her kids during the only time they would see their father during an 18 month deployment. Who is screwing whom?

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When we were kids, I was taken out of school for vacation a handful of times (5-6?) over 12 years - a couple in HS (including the PSATs) I managed to survive and do just fine on the SATs the next year. I did "miss out" on getting to be a merit scholar, but really, looking back - that vacation with my family was far more important. I can guarantee you, looking back, two years later when my father was diagnosed with cancer, I was much happier to have those memories than a piece of paper that said "merit scholar".

 

Waaaaaay back in the 80's and 90's, the PARENT just INFORMED the school that the child was going to be out (at least that is the way it was in our district).

 

Maybe it' s being a homeschooler, maybe it's just me, but I always do a little inside chuckle when people talk about "asking the school for permission" to take their children on vacation. Ummm... they are MY CHILDREN. I'll take them anywhere I please!

 

And I don't mean that in a "screw the schools" sort of way.

 

Honestly, I see it as a sad state of our society when, in general, society has accepted the notion that responsible adults need to "ask" the school/gov't to spend time with the kids. (and potentially be denied as in the case of the military kid with dad on leave!)

 

What happened to assuming that the parent IS responsible and has the kids (and family's) best interests in mind and trusing them to make a decision in the best interests of their family..... and the school/govt only stepping in if there is gross misue?

 

So, yes, I would take my kids out. And I entirely respect if someone ELSE feels it isn't best for their child/family to do the same. I'm completely okay with that.

 

What I'm NOT okay with is this notion (and I've heard it in other instances as well), that the kids "belong" to the school and parents need to ASK to take them for a few days. What the heck have we become????

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I don't know how it would work now, but in 1988 or '89, my Girl Scout troop planned a road trip to Savannah, GA (from Upstate NY). We did gobs of fundraising, planned the route, arranged for a very low cost place to stay on the way down and while we were there (yay Girl Scout camps :) ), planned food costs and sightseeing, etc. The whole thing. This was my sophomore or junior year of high school.

 

While we planned it for over a school break, we still "needed" to miss a few days of school right before (or right after - I forget which) to do a drive of that length. We met with the Principal and explained the situation and were allowed "excused absences" if we made up work we would miss (getting that work ahead of time) and we wrote some short essay about what we learned (each, not a cooperative essay for the whole group).

 

So, yes. I'd be willing to take my child out. However, vacation flexibility (especially living so far from family and the cost of traveling during traditional vacation times) is a perk to homeschooling. It wasn't a major decision factor, but it really helps. We're currently on vacation in NY (seeing family). Back in AZ, school started on August 8th.

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and here's mine:

 

why yes I would! In fact, we are planning a trip to Hawaii for next January. My middle child will be a senior at the local PS, and I don't feel one bit irresponsible for taking him out for 6 days. (He was homeschooled until 8th, I still homeschool my youngest, oldest is in college and will be on college break then).

 

My family comes first, not the school system. And no, Bill, that is not a screw the schools mentality; I'm not trying to "screw" anyone. That is when we want to take our vacation and when it works best for us financially and otherwise. BTW, the school and teachers are just fine with it, because both my son, as student, and we, as parents, are very responsible. They have much bigger problems to deal with than good students who take a vacation with their families. Things like silly mothers bringing cupcakes to school. :lol:

BTW, it is interesting to me to know why this even matters to the OP. Not that I'm asking for an explanation, but these posts wherein someone is virtually wringing their hands about why someone else is doing so-and-so that they would never do always makes me :confused:.

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Really? I don't think that's the dominant opinion at all - most people have pretty balanced responses about what thresholds would have to be met before pulling a kid from school for vacation. A military wife here posted that her kids' prinicipal denied time off for her kids during the only time they would see their father during an 18 month deployment. Who is screwing whom?

 

:iagree: Not seeing it either. Ultimately I think parents have the last word on their kids needs, academic and otherwise. I home school now, but my child went to 2 years of PS. And may return in the future. If he would have had a school fit that would have found my child learning and engaged every day or if I had a child that needed the consistency of following the school calender, I might have made different decisions. And I only pulled my kid for a few days total over kindy and 1st grade.

 

We have an active GT community here, and I know parents who regularly pull their bright kids for enrichment or for a mental health break. I can see not making those decisions if you have a wonderful school fit. I'd love it if we could find one. :glare: I don't remotely see how making decisions on your individual circumstances is screwing the schools? I was involved in volunteering and on the parent board when my kid went. Our teachers never had an issue. If you don't every pull your child, I assume your child is happy and engaged? And if so, that's great.

 

My parents used to pull my brother and I for vacation up through 8th grade. And I thought our school handed it brilliantly. We were always assigned to write something about our trip and present it to the class when we got back. We usually got some math to take with too.

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BTW' date=' it is interesting to me to know why this even matters to the OP. Not that I'm asking for an explanation, but these posts wherein someone is virtually wringing their hands about why someone else is doing so-and-so that they would never do always makes me :confused:.[/quote']

 

:iagree: I wonder too. Reminds me of cupcakes. Hmmm ... :D

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Another aspect that might be relevant: I don't know US school schedules well. I know that there are three months in the summer - are there any other breaks apart from a day or two for national holidays? I'm wondering whether it might be easier to manage fitting time off into school breaks if the breaks are more evenly spread through the year, as they are in the UK.

 

In our district (and most that I know of in Maine, New Hampshire, and Massachusetts) have a few odd days here-and there, plus a couple weeks around Christmas, a week in February, and a week in April, so in those states at least, there is time other than the summer to take vacation. I know of one family who owns a party supply/rental business (bounce houses, etc) who do pull their kids from school for a week or two each year because the busiest time for their business is spring, summer, fall, and during school vacation weeks. I think they take a week or two in January.

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In our district (and most that I know of in Maine, New Hampshire, and Massachusetts) have a few odd days here-and there, plus a couple weeks around Christmas, a week in February, and a week in April, so in those states at least, there is time other than the summer to take vacation. I know of one family who owns a party supply/rental business (bounce houses, etc) who do pull their kids from school for a week or two each year because the busiest time for their business is spring, summer, fall, and during school vacation weeks. I think they take a week or two in January.

 

 

My oldest would get off individual days/4 day weekends for Rosh Hoshana in October, teachers convention in November, Thanksgiving in November, Martin Luther King Day in January, Memorial Day in May; about 10 days from Christmas Eve through the day after New Years Day; a week in February for mid-winter break and a week in March or April (depending on Easter) for Spring Break; then from the end of June through the day after Labor Day for summer. A lot of schools around here don't take the mid-winter break though so it's not the same with all the schools, and Spring Break and mid-Winter breaks can get shortened if we get a lot of snow days. That causes a problem for people who already planned vacations and then the schools couldn't take off the time originally on the calendar.

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I guess that is where the difference in what I'm seeing lies. Rather than seeing people who are prioritizing family time, I feel as though these are parents being selfish because 'the company is paying for us to go to the beach, and there is no way DH is going without me, even if it means taking the kids out of school'.

 

 

Our kids would consider us selfish if we took a vacation without them. We do it once a year - for one full day - on our anniversary. All other trips include kids and all of us are on board with that. Doing otherwise seems, well, wrong to us. We don't split vacations with his/hers either. It's just not us. Family has always been top priority here and I have NO regrets at all. It doesn't matter if it's a beach trip or any other kind of trip. Pretty much all travel is educational IMO. If one wants to travel when school is out, fine, go then. If work or crowds or cheaper deals make one want to travel at other times, go then. It makes no difference to me.

 

 

Um ... wow. :001_huh:

 

School is an educational choice we made for my oldest. It is not, never has been, and never will be the most important thing going. Family comes first, and there are a heckuva lotta things she can be doing with family that are way more enriching and valuable than sitting at a school desk. She can (and does) make up her work if she's out for family reasons. I would WAY rather my kid have fond memories of sitting on the beach for a week with her family than sitting at a desk for a week learning algebra, or whatever. There's nothing so sacred about what goes on at school that it can't be made up for some other time.

 

Tara

 

:iagree:

 

I think schools should expect families to take trips and have a system to support them, especially when there is some educational aspect to the trip.

 

And this is the case with the school district we are in and that I've worked for since 1999. They do expect families to take trips. They have a system to support them, and they recognize the educational aspects. I'll definitely say that this is one aspect of my school I've come to appreciate with this thread. Our school has NEVER had issues with any of the trips we've wanted to do during school time. Many teachers have used my kids and their knowledge to share with their peers and to encourage them to travel when/if they can. To me, that's the way it all SHOULD be.

 

FWIW, hubby owns his own business, so technically, we can take off whenever we want. However, the fact remains that his business is super busy in the spring, summer, and fall, so the majority of our traveling is in winter when he would otherwise be eating Bon Bons and watching Judge Judy. ;)

 

I'll even add that I'm glad my school allows teachers vacation time during the school year. They must use their personal days (not sick days) and those only add up to one week-long vacation every two years if they want to do it, but I'm glad they have that option.

 

Sometimes I think people in this country can be too rigid - too much work and rules, etc, and not realize the benefit to vacation and play. I'm glad we're in a district that allows balance throughout the year IF the parents want it.

 

The only time my school gets tough is for true truancy. Pre-planned vacations, time off to see family, time off to go hunting, whatever, isn't that. When we wanted a month in Hawaii? No problem - other than pretty much every single person insisted one thing we HAD to do was take them. :lol:

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Hmmm... well, that's a little insulting. :tongue_smilie: I didn't consider my question to be on par with something like that - I was really asking because I wondered what others thought.

I really thought it was the norm to think that way - I see now that it is not. I was considering trying to convince the company to change their time at the beach so that these families would be able to go without having to take their kids out of school, because I thought that would have been the more responsible, considerate thing to do - both on the part of the company and the family. I now know that there is no point, and will just ignore everything I will see on fb regarding it when the time comes.

Sorry that I seem so petty and nosy to you. :glare:

 

Sorry, didn't mean to insult you or your thread! I really just think these decisions are best left to individual families to make for their own kids. I don't particularly want someone telling me how to parent or educate my kids without asking for advice. I have a kid that was bored out of his wits for 2 years in the classroom, and insinuating that kids should NEVER be pulled out under any circumstances is extreme to me. And if someone feels that way, they must have a much better school fit than we ever had.

Edited by kck
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I'm of the mentality that all experiences are learning experiences. You don't always have to have direct instruction or be making connections. We can make connections to things just by doing, seeing, experiencing.

 

I think that mentality goes along with school field trips/sports trips, as well as family vacations. We went on lots of school field trips/sports trips that they excused as learing experiences, that had little school oriented learning going on, and little connection to what was going on in the school. We walked around NYC or Boston buying food and items, and hanging with friends! I don't think that is different than pulling your kids out for a family vacation where bonding, memories, and connections are often made that are important to a child's development.

 

Also, I pay for my child to go to school with my taxes, so why do I need permission to take them out, within reason?

 

I wonder if the same people, who are against vacation pull out, have the mentality that learning/school is not going on unless they are sitting down doing the 3 r's? I disagree with that, as well.

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Because it negatively effects the educational mission of the school

 

See, I don't get this. What exactly is the educational mission of the school? Unless it's to keep kids ignorant of the bigger world, taking a trip that enriches their experience cannot contradict the school's educational mission.

 

Look at all the money we pour into schools for "social studies," vocabulary development, etc., when a few well-planned trips would accomplish so much more. And I think it's pretty well settled that actual life experiences improve comprehension of reading, math, science, etc.

 

I cannot understand how teachers can feel that parents who want to give their kids these experiences undervalue education. I do understand preferring for these trips to occur during school breaks, but teachers should also understand that that's not always feasible, and that missing a few days of school is less of a loss for the child than missing an enriching trip.

 

As for the "benefit of all" argument, I'm not convinced. When my kid is not in school, that gives the teacher more time to spend with the kids who struggle, right? And, are the travelling kids really the type to need a lot of re-teaching once back in the classroom? I'm thinking not. Further, what about the benefit of having the child share some of his experience with his classmates?

Edited by SKL
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Because it negatively effects the educational mission of the school and because we are not the only people in the universe.

 

Bill

 

Please, a kid leaving for a week is nothing compared to the behavior disturbances, teaching to the test, limited material and staff, and innaporpriate legal placements, etc. etc. etc., going on all over the country!!!!

 

I was an EC/reg teacher for 10 years in several states and all grade levels pre-k-21 yrs. My mother, aunts, cousins, neighbors, friends are teachers all over the US, and we discuss the system to great lengths, so I think I know what negatively affects the "educational mission" (ie getting high test scores) of our esteemed ps system.

 

I apologize for sounding snarky, but your statement leads me to believe you have very little knowledge of the US ps system.

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I don't think you have any understanding of the chaos it would create in a classroom where teachers have the responsibility of teaching 20-30 children to have one (or more) be absent for a week. Life is hard enough for teachers.

 

There are plenty of opportunities during the school year for parents to schedule educational trips for their families. Taking off during the term and saying "screw the school" or "my family comes first" is the height of selfishness.

 

Bill

 

Chaos, really? Height of selfishness?

 

Just curious, where do you get these insights?

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None of my kids' schools had a major problem with kids going on vacation during the school year. In fact, sometimes teachers asked for a summary or they combined the trip with an assignment.

 

My kids have gone on trips with school clubs and missed school, too.

 

A friend of my son travels extensively because he is practically a professional musician. He will be leaving for Europe less than one week after high school begins. The school is fine with it.

 

I do think it's important to work with the teacher(s) as much as possible so they aren't too burdened with copying assignments and whatnot. We also try our best to schedule vacations during breaks and holidays, too.

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I don't think you have any understanding of the chaos it would create in a classroom where teachers have the responsibility of teaching 20-30 children to have one (or more) be absent for a week. Life is hard enough for teachers.

 

 

Bill

 

It could potentially cause chaos, but in reality there aren't a lot of parents pulling kids for week, so it's not a big deal. Also, it's chaos for the teacher only because of the pressure the govm't has put on them, and the pressure of limited parenting, leading to poor academic and social skills. Though, those who parent poorly are often not the ones pulling their kids for a week of family bonding. The caring/educating parents who pull a kid out for a week are not to fault...society and our innapropriate teacher/student/achievement/school expectations are what cause chaos.

 

ETA: and we shouldn't even have 30 kids in a classroom...chaaaaoooossss!

Edited by kb44
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Please, a kid leaving for a week is nothing compared to the behavior disturbances, teaching to the test, limited material and staff, and innaporpriate legal placements, etc. etc. etc., going on all over the country!!!!

 

"Of two evils, choose neither" —Charles Spurgeon

 

One can attempt to rationalize bad behavior by saying it is not as bad as some other worse behavior, but ethically it doesn't fly.

 

I apologize for sounding snarky, but your statement leads me to believe you have very little knowledge of the US ps system.

 

Josh, I grew up in a home with a mother who was a career elementary school teacher, attended public schools myself, and am now a very active parent (with an even more involved wife) at our child's elementary school. I thought I had a pretty good hold on the reality of unexcused absences negatively impacting the educational mission of classrooms.

 

Bill

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Chaos, really? Height of selfishness?

 

Just curious, where do you get these insights?

 

Have you ever tried to teach 20 or 30 children? Do you have any idea how difficult a job that is?

 

Top that off with parents pulling children out of school for a week because of a "my family comes first" mentality and you create a terrible situation. It is very selfish behavior.

 

Bill

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I don't think you have any understanding of the chaos it would create in a classroom where teachers have the responsibility of teaching 20-30 children to have one (or more) be absent for a week. Life is hard enough for teachers.

 

 

Another thing. My family is that family that almost never gets any of the teacher's time because there is no need for remediation. If anything, we come into a class already knowing most of what's supposed to be learned there. Part of this is thanks to travels, of course. So what is the big offense if, for maybe one day per year, we have to ask for a little help? My kids have to quietly sit through weeks of review at the beginning of the year that they don't need or want. But that's not chaos or selfishness. It's only chaos and selfishness if the kid needs the time due to something the teacher didn't choose.

 

ETA: We're so accommodating of "differences" on the negative end of the spectrum, but so intolerant of differences at the other end.

Edited by SKL
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"Of two evils, choose neither" —Charles Spurgeon

 

One can attempt to rationalize bad behavior by saying it is not as bad as some other worse behavior, but ethically it doesn't fly.

 

 

 

Josh, I grew up in a home with a mother who was a career elementary school teacher, attended public schools myself, and am now a very active parent (with an even more involved wife) at our child's elementary school. I thought I had a pretty good hold on the reality of unexcused absences negatively impacting the educational mission of classrooms.

 

Bill

 

I believe going to ps "back in the day" and being a parent involved in your kid's ONE school, does not give one a good perception of the US school system. Each school, system, state, etc. has differences. What I look at and is important to me, is the overall picture of what is happening in the majority of the US.

 

I also don't think limited, appropriate family bonding time..no matter when, is evil. So, there is no choice, for me.

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It could potentially cause chaos, but in reality there aren't a lot of parents pulling kids for week, so it's not a big deal.

 

One of the standard measures of ethics is "what if everyone did as I do?"

 

By this measure pulling kids out for a week is a FAIL.

 

Also, it's chaos for the teacher only because of the pressure the govm't has put on them, and the pressure of limited parenting, leading to poor academic and social skills.

 

Classic rationalizing. Schools have a curriculum. It is a teacher's job to teach the curriculum. Attacking the government is an ideological excuse to cover selfishness.

 

Though, those who parent poorly are often not the ones pulling their kids for a week of family bonding. The caring/educating parents who pull a kid out for a week are not to fault...society and our innapropriate teacher/student/achievement/school expectations are what cause chaos.

 

 

Schools are in session about half of the year. There is plenty of time for "family bonding" that does not disrupt the time when class in in session.

 

Bill

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I believe going to ps "back in the day" and being a parent involved in your kid's ONE school, does not give one a good perception of the US school system. Each school, system, state, etc. has differences. What I look at and is important to me, is the overall picture of what is happening in the majority of the US.

 

I also don't think limited, appropriate family bonding time..no matter when, is evil. So, there is no choice, for me.

 

"Appropriate" family bonding time is great. Pulling kids out for a week is not "appropriate." That is the difference.

 

Bill

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Bill, I think we will agree to disagree. If you have a wonderful school that you are happy with, and or you are someone who still believes in the system, I say do what you can do and be happy!

 

I taught in the system, sent my kids to the system, and was told by my conscience and teachers of several schools we tried, to "get out of the system!" Even our charter school (public funds..private run) told me she wants to hs her children and she was so happy for us, when I pulled my child out. I never planned on anything but ps for my kids, but the system was so appalling, as was the charter we tried, that I really felt I had no other choice. HS is steadily growing because of the schools, not other reasons. It makes me terribly heartbroken, as I believe the system can be great.

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One of the standard measures of ethics is "what if everyone did as I do?"

 

By this measure pulling kids out for a week is a FAIL.

 

 

 

Classic rationalizing. Schools have a curriculum. It is a teacher's job to teach the curriculum. Attacking the government is an ideological excuse to cover selfishness.

 

 

 

Schools are in session about half of the year. There is plenty of time for "family bonding" that does not disrupt the time when class in in session.

 

Bill

 

 

Are you kidding me???? So the trend of poor customer service in industries, lack of quality products, etc. is acceptable because that's what people are told to do???? :cursing:

 

I think I need to take a :chillpill: and step away from this converstion.

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Schools are in session about half of the year. There is plenty of time for "family bonding" that does not disrupt the time when class in in session.

 

Bill

 

It's already been mentioned that this is not feasible in all cases.

 

It occurs to me that this policy is discriminatory against working parents / small businesses. Because I have a full-time job and summer is my peak work season (with New Year's being a second mini-peak), my kids and I shouldn't get to enjoy a family vacation, ever.

 

Never mind the fact that we're paying most of the taxes that support the school and its precious, inviolable schedule. How dare we have an opinion that is unpopular with some of the teachers we pay.

 

If it's really that chaotic for kids to miss school, make a policy that doesn't require teachers to hand-hold our kids when they return to school. I can make the choice whether to deal with the learning disruption (by going on a trip) or not (by keeping my kid in school). I never asked for any special services. And my kid isn't going to forget how to read in a week's time.

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Maybe I would be more concerned about the teacher's opinion if I had experienced a teacher that was genuinely concerned about my son's education. My son used to hide from bullies the school did nothing about at recess. One day he hid in his locker and stayed there most of the day. The school realized he was missing after recess but made no effort to contact me, the district or the police when they could not locate my 6 year old. Call me crazy but I just don't care if a school like the found it inconvenient for my son to be out a few days for a fishing and camping trip. Homeschooling can be a need as much as a choice when you have schools like that around.

 

When we had another child living with us, his teacher was totally fine with setting aside work and he commented that the trio we had planned sounded like it would be more educational than school. After 5th grade or so, I would be less willing to miss school for any reason.

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Schools are in session about half of the year. There is plenty of time for "family bonding" that does not disrupt the time when class in in session.

 

Bill

 

I'll have to tell my husband who is in Afganistan for 6 months of this year (and who worked 12-15 hour days for many months prior) that there is ample time for family bonding. The last 10 years have been like that for us. Most of our quality time happens on vacations.

 

I'm sure you'll roll your eyes at this Bill but my husband has had many close calls in combat and two friends who have not come back at all. My husband has also been a causality assistance officer (you know the person who knocks on doors and gives the bad news). I can't imagine under any circumstances I would regret pulling my kid out of school for a week to spend time as a family before or after a deployment. While most people have less dangerous jobs, there are many families where one parent is working their tail off in an inflexible job and doesn't get to spend a lot of time at home.

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Because it negatively effects the educational mission of the school and because we are not the only people in the universe.

 

Bill

 

Um, BS, to put it nicely...

 

See, I don't get this. What exactly is the educational mission of the school? Unless it's to keep kids ignorant of the bigger world, taking a trip that enriches their experience cannot contradict the school's educational mission.

 

Look at all the money we pour into schools for "social studies," vocabulary development, etc., when a few well-planned trips would accomplish so much more. And I think it's pretty well settled that actual life experiences improve comprehension of reading, math, science, etc.

 

I cannot understand how teachers can feel that parents who want to give their kids these experiences undervalue education. I do understand preferring for these trips to occur during school breaks, but teachers should also understand that that's not always feasible, and that missing a few days of school is less of a loss for the child than missing an enriching trip.

 

As for the "benefit of all" argument, I'm not convinced. When my kid is not in school, that gives the teacher more time to spend with the kids who struggle, right? And, are the travelling kids really the type to need a lot of re-teaching once back in the classroom? I'm thinking not. Further, what about the benefit of having the child share some of his experience with his classmates?

 

:iagree:

 

I don't think you have any understanding of the chaos it would create in a classroom where teachers have the responsibility of teaching 20-30 children to have one (or more) be absent for a week. Life is hard enough for teachers.

 

There are plenty of opportunities during the school year for parents to schedule educational trips for their families. Taking off during the term and saying "screw the school" or "my family comes first" is the height of selfishness.

 

Bill

 

Have you ever tried to teach 20 or 30 children? Do you have any idea how difficult a job that is?

 

Top that off with parents pulling children out of school for a week because of a "my family comes first" mentality and you create a terrible situation. It is very selfish behavior.

 

Bill

 

Hardly. How many times have you been in actually teaching? While I've been subbing for 13 years now, I've also had 5 long term assignments. I've had students go on vacation for a day to one month during my times. At NO time was it ever a hassle nor did the rest of the class suffer from it. MANY times I ask the kids how things went and have them share with their classmates if they did anything unusual. There is SO MUCH learning that goes on and far more comes from experiences than books. Besides... I've never had only 20 students in a class - 29 to 34 is more like it. I can't recall any peer teacher complaining about traveling students either. We often talk about how lucky they are when they are gone.

 

We do complain about those who are chronically absent, but those aren't traveling. They're home "sick" (usually NOT sick - usually deadbeat parents). We don't complain for those who truly are sick - we have some with cancer, heart issues and similar. Those we have special days or shirts or other such solidarity events for. Those chronically absent kids don't have things to share and aren't learning a thing. It's not at all like the traveling kids - not even close.

 

One of the standard measures of ethics is "what if everyone did as I do?"

 

By this measure pulling kids out for a week is a FAIL.

 

Bill

 

Sorry again. Teachers I know WISH more parents would travel with their kids - on whatever schedule they could do. Well-traveled kids tend to be the best all around students whether high academically or not.

 

I think you're confusing reasons for absences... it does make a difference.

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I think the biggest difference seems to be that I don't have the anti-school mentality that a lot of others do. (Or at least seem to). No, my kids don't go to PS anymore, but not because I consider the school to be a big negative - I went to PS and did great. It just wasn't what worked for my family, and I highly doubt my children will ever go back to school. It's a goal of mine to HS them all the way through.

 

I guess in reading this I discovered I probably shouldn't have bothered. Some of the responses have me taking offense when I probably shouldn't - particularly those who are talking about family time and how family comes first - it is leaving me feeling completely misunderstood because I consider DH & I to be one of the MOST 'family first' families that I know IRL. There are a lot of things that we just don't believe in doing that we feel puts family behind other things. We would personally NEVER take a trip without our kids. I know some people do, and that's their choice and I really don't care. It just isn't ours.

I never once would have dreamed that somehow this would turn into a 'family first' vs 'school first' argument - I don't consider those two things to have anything to do with it.

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My state and a couple surrounding states fund similarly to CA.

 

I think my state must have this type of funding too. I put my youngest daughter in school in the middle of last year and I was threatened with truancy court after she had been out 4 days (not in a row) because she was getting close to being near the acceptable unexcusable days out.

 

This year her first day of school is on Monday. Next month we are leaving for vacation on Sept 28th and will be gone almost 2 weeks. I'm UN-ENROLLING her, this way those days will not count against her. I will (might) re-enroll her when we get back.

 

I'm still not sure if she will be going back to PS, trying to work out a different schedule with my job to see if I can bring her with me instead of using the PS as daycare. I work in a daycare center and she was able to come with me all summer because they have a summer camp program. But during the school year they don't have anything for her age group. I work in the infants room and kids her age are not allowed in that room due to germ/infection control around the babies.

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I can't even imagine the pain of that. Of course you want your children to be with their father as much as they can.

 

My dh is not in the military, but part of his work (few people do what he does, so he is, thankfully, in demand) is travel. No travel = no job He often gives presentations, and has been to court many times, in many states. When dh is home, he is present, but he is gone frequently. When we can go, we go. My oldest (23, who was always schooled. We started hsing when the second child was in 4th grade), and I have absolutely no regrets about his vacation experiences with our family.

 

Many folks can't have a 'traditional' schedule that ties in nicely with the school calendar year.

 

TMI

 

When my oldest was 8, he gave a presentation on a particular art exhibit he had seen in DC. The teacher didn't ask him to do that. Ds wanted to, and the teacher welcomed it. Ds had done sketches, kept a little journal, & brought back brochures and photos to share with his classmates.

 

 

I'll have to tell my husband who is in Afganistan for 6 months of this year (and who worked 12-15 hour days for many months prior) that there is ample time for family bonding. The last 10 years have been like that for us. Most of our quality time happens on vacations.

 

I'm sure you'll roll your eyes at this Bill but my husband has had many close calls in combat and two friends who have not come back at all. My husband has also been a causality assistance officer (you know the person who knocks on doors and gives the bad news). I can't imagine under any circumstances I would regret pulling my kid out of school for a week to spend time as a family before or after a deployment. While most people have less dangerous jobs, there are many families where one parent is working their tail off in an inflexible job and doesn't get to spend a lot of time at home.

Edited by LibraryLover
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I never once would have dreamed that somehow this would turn into a 'family first' vs 'school first' argument - I don't consider those two things to have anything to do with it.

 

:iagree: I sent my oldest to kindergarten with the full on thought that of course I'd NEVER pull him out of school for vacation. And I never did in K, but did a couple times in first. It's easy to judge when you are not a position where you child is miserable every day. I was a classroom volunteer and had the full understanding of the teacher. In fact it was my son's first grade teacher that pulled me aside and just admitted that school was really not going to be a good fit for him academically, and I appreciated her candor.

 

I can see having a family and school situation that worked such that you'd never pull your child out of school. If that works for your family, that's great! I don't see all the judgment about families who make a different decision for any reason. Especially engaged parents that are actively involved in their child's education? The ultimate goal is to have well educated, well adjusted kids. This was not uncommon at my son's school he attended for 2 years, and kids being gone on vacation didn't seem to cause any kind of chaos. The 25-30 kids in a first grade classroom with no aide and serious behavioral problems in a couple of kids certainly did. That and things like lice and pink eye. :001_smile:

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I'll have to tell my husband who is in Afganistan for 6 months of this year (and who worked 12-15 hour days for many months prior) that there is ample time for family bonding. The last 10 years have been like that for us. Most of our quality time happens on vacations.

 

I'm sure you'll roll your eyes at this Bill but my husband has had many close calls in combat and two friends who have not come back at all. My husband has also been a causality assistance officer (you know the person who knocks on doors and gives the bad news). I can't imagine under any circumstances I would regret pulling my kid out of school for a week to spend time as a family before or after a deployment. While most people have less dangerous jobs, there are many families where one parent is working their tail off in an inflexible job and doesn't get to spend a lot of time at home.

 

I would not roll my eyes, I honor your husband's service. This is a rather exceptional circumstance. Quite different than pulling kids just 'cuz.

 

Bill

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I don't think not teaching a child who is not there in a class changes much for a classroom teacher. S/he is free to carry on as usual, right? How would that be disruptive?

 

I guess I don't get the idea of 'educational goals' being thwarted. Perhaps, if a parent takes it lightly and the student does not 'keep up' (no one here would let that happen, but just-saying) -- perhaps then a student would be confused by the missed topic-in-sequence. But isn't that the child's education 'suffereng' as a consiquence that falls on the child and parents? What does it have to do with the teacher or the other students? How is it selfish or harmful to others if a parent chooses to exchange some classroom knowledge in favor of some travel knowledge? Isn't that a free choice that effects no one but themselves?

 

Even, in the hyperbole case, that the concept missed was absolutely key, and it would never naturally be reviewed ever again, and the student just never learns it, flunks that subject for the rest of school, gets frustrated, drops out, etc. All of that is still a consiquence to the student -- why should anyone but the student (and the people who love him/her) feel aggrieved and wronged by this travel choice that turned out so disastrously?

 

I don't understand who else has any kind of stake in the situation, or why.

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Pulling kids out of school for week just because you want to is very selfish behavior.
Who do you feel would be drastically negatively effected by the choice, and in what way(s) are they effected?

 

How is taking a child out of school 'just because I want to' any different from the decision to put a child into school 'just because I want to'? Both decisions are normal and legitimate -- why should people outside of the family be concerned about this at all?

 

To me it sounds similar to someone saying, "If you sign up for city water service, you are obligated to use some every day, or you are doing wrong to the city water company because you did not meet their expectation that you would be a daily user. That's selfish of you not to use water all the time. You should use the service even when you don't want to." Water companies don't care. Most schools systems don't care either.

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I think it is perfectly fine to take kids out for a family vacation, within reason of course. Family comes first, and my kids are NOT property of a school system. I take my kid's education and attendance when they were in ps, very seriously, but if the benefits of a family trip outweighed the "risks" I wouldn't think twice.

 

We have an extremely strict attendance policy here, and the county attorney is contacted after so many absences, excused or not. IMO, I believe it comes down to funding. Even my kid's K teacher misses a few days every year for family vacation; didn't bother me one bit.

 

The attendance policy and the bullying that goes along with it is just one more reason I am so glad we hs.

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Not in the slightest. Pulling kids out of school for week just because you want to is very selfish behavior.

 

Bill

 

The funny thing is, NO ONE at my son's school has a problem with this. I guess I will be thankful for that, now that I realize that some people would react very strongly to our decision.

 

BTW, I'm really not a selfish person, quite the opposite, and I'm sure you're not an overly dramatic person. So I hope there are no hard feelings and that you realize that just because others think dfferently than you or make different decisions than you would, does not really mean we are selfish.

 

But, either way, it's okay. I've got my big girl panties on. :D

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