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Eldest back in public HS, and.....


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.....I, of course, am battling guilt.

 

Not because she's back in public school, but maybe because I didn't have her there previously.

 

This child, who was so bullied, so left behind, so depressed, so struggling academically that I pulled her out of public school for three years, has been excited and animated the past two days coming home from school. She took the initiative to get to the library to finish an assignment yesterday that isn't due until next week. My Aspie child who has no friends is excited about THREE different clubs she wants to join. And this daughter, who would sleep all day and doesn't shower unless I remind her, has gotten herself out of bed, showered, dressed, put on makeup, done her own laundry without prompting, and gotten herself out the door to the bus stop two days in a row. Early.

 

I know it's early in the year, and I know that the enthusiasm will likely fade, as it does even for those who have always liked school. I'm HAPPY she is excited about it so far. But still, I can't shake that nagging feeling that maybe I kept her out too long; that in the interest of protecting and helping her I actually sheltered and harmed her instead. Sigh.

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Don't feel guilty! My youngest is eerily similar. In 4th grade he asked to be separated from the other kids as he couldn't stand them. By high school he's a social butterfly and loves school. Skipping those years gave him time to mature socially. I doubt it would have been the same if he'd stayed in. I suspect it's the same for your dd. ;)

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That's not a big deal or a problem. There are TONS of children (and teens, and 20-somethings believe it or not) Aspie and non-Aspie, who don't practice the upkeep they KNOW they are supposed to practice until it becomes "relevant".

 

Its a matter of human psych, I guess that many people don't shave, shower, launder (or do any work, etc...until they feel it is relevant.

 

How many times have people allowed their houses to fall into disarray only to make it sparkle and shine when they have guests coming over? How many times during your own school days did you procrastinate or daydream until you realize the teacher was coming?

 

Sounds like she needed the break that you provided her.

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This child, who was so bullied, so left behind, so depressed, so struggling academically that I pulled her out of public school for three years, has been excited and animated the past two days coming home from school. She took the initiative to get to the library to finish an assignment yesterday that isn't due until next week. My Aspie child who has no friends is excited about THREE different clubs she wants to join. And this daughter, who would sleep all day and doesn't shower unless I remind her, has gotten herself out of bed, showered, dressed, put on makeup, done her own laundry without prompting, and gotten herself out the door to the bus stop two days in a row. Early.

 

Don't feel guilty!!! That sounds wonderful. My oldest two start public school (high school) for the first time ever in two weeks. These are the kinds of thing I'm secretly dream will happen (I've seen glimmers in other situations that hint that maybe they'll be motivated to be punctual and neat for others where they won't for me) but can barely dare to hope that they really will. So yay!!! This is the appropriate response: :party:

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It sounds to me like you successfully got her ready!

 

:iagree: This is what I'm telling myself now that my dd14 has started high school. I've got some regrets too. And fears.

 

It seems there are several of us who have kids going from homeschooling to brick and mortar high school.

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Thanks, everyone, for your kind words. It is SO hard not to second guess every single thing. I'm trying.

 

Tonight I did have to remind her to do her homework, so at least I feel a bit of normalcy. :) Still, 3 whole days in and she's still positive about it. I'm cautiously optimistic that it won't fall completely apart.....

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I agree with everyone else. I think that you did a great job in instilling self-confidence so that she feels comfortable in finding her own way. She is willing to step out and try different things/people without worrying about what others might think/say. :thumbup1:

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