starwarsmomma Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 (edited) UPDATE: Hubby's home! Ok, hubby asked me to be VERY vague as to what is going on, because of current situations that are ongoing. so.... let's just say that we are VERY satisfied wtih how the church (and "others") are going to be working together to investigate/research. We are VERY satisfied with how the pastor reacted, and how he is handling the situation, and how he is communicating with others. And how he immediately involved "others" My husband has already been cc'd and contacted already by others investigating/researching. Poor pastor. LOL Hubby said he looked like a truck hit him by all the info. He never once did defend any of the actions of the Bible teacher, usually saying, OH NO-- we can't have that! over and over.... Anyway, that's all I can really say. At least right now. Thanks so much for your input! I love you guys! Edited August 15, 2012 by joyfulheart new update Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acorn Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Creepy. I bet everyone agrees on this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomatHWTK Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Creepy. Unless the guy has never turned on the TV or read a newspaper in the last year, he should know better. :glare: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 I would speak to pastor, remove kid from class probably no matter what pastor says (and no more mission trips with people who don't watch kids better than this), and talk long and hard with kid about why this all is a big fat No. This could not be more creepy. You are entirely right to be utterly freaked out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Totally creepy. It's okay for your son to be furious with you, but you'll just have to know better than he does in this case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Kate Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Creepy. Unless the guy has never turned on the TV or read a newspaper in the last year, he should know better. :glare: :iagree: BIG TIME!!!! After having the Sandusky rapes all over the news, what man in his right mind would even think this is a good idea??? I would definitely contact your pastor and make sure your son is never alone with this man again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Fairy Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Creepy. VERY creepy. And it makes me sad because it's true, even if it's completely innocent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Creepy. Very. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Creepy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Um, I would be livid. Sounds like grooming behavior. :cursing: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Changed Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Yeah, you need to run as far as you can in the other direction! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujsky Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 I'd be creeped out! No, I don't think you're off on this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpyTheFrog Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 This man is creepy and has, at best, extremely poor judgment. Please warn the other parents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 I'd be doing a nut. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Creepy & absolutely out of line! Can you block his number so that he can't text or call your son? I know you can do it with a home phone, but I've never thought about it with a cell phone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dory Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Sounds like grooming to me. Very, very much so. I would be beyond livid and would tracking the guy down for a very long discussion as well as talking to the other kids parents if possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 I'd be doing a nut. I don't even know what this means but I'm with Imp. (Are you feeling validated yet?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 He didn't ask parent permission first? Nope. Didn't invite parents along? Double Nope. You have a different impression of him than your son does? Triple Nope. Stay strong on this one. Your hackles are up for a reason. Listen to that voice. In 20 years your son will understand. Really. We got your back! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FO4UR Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Creepy. No doubt. Be very clear (blunt) with the pastor about this. The fact that this man has broken church protocol should be highlighted...the pastor needs some concrete reasons for discontinuing this man's presence with the kids b/c he (the pastor) will have to answer to the church about why such a nice young man (:ack2:) is being outcast so rudely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4kidlets4me Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Creepy. Why does this guy have your son's number anyway? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CheerioKid Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Oh heck no!!! No, a thousand times no! Who put him in charge of these kids? Makes my skin crawl just thinking about it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2cents Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Oh NO NO NO! Most predators are people who systematically gain the confidence of their young victims in just this sort of manner. Trust your instinct and I'd strongly advise you to report this behavior to whoever is in charge of the volunteers. This has creepy written ALL over it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Either creepy, or innocent, well-meaning, and clueless. However - Even if clueless/innocent, it opens up the guy to accusations (whether true or not), and thus opens the church to liability. So the answer is no, your ds can't go, both for his protection and the guy's. (He may understand/accept it better if you explain that regardless of your ds's feelings, it wouldn't be smart for the guy. And that may help your ds see the other side of it and not be clueless himself when he is older.) And yes, you should tell the staff your concerns. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1bassoon Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Not just creepy. Wrong. If your alarm bells are ringing, take it as a sign. Deal with the son's anger - there's a reason YOU'RE the mom, and he's not. And by all means, :iagree: with being very, very clear with the pastor. The church sure doesn't need to be condoning this. At. All.:glare: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starwarsmomma Posted August 15, 2012 Author Share Posted August 15, 2012 Creepy. Why does this guy have your son's number anyway? Good question! I asked my son and he said he gave it when trying to sign up for a mission trip in march. I checked the history, it's the first time anyone from the church has contacted him. No other texts. (I uaually have his phone with ME, and he only gets it when going to a friends' house, so that I can reach him if needed. Only a handful of people have the number...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thea Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Beyond creepy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 I'd be calling the pastor at home tonight. Totally inappropriate and creepy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plink Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Ick. Ack. Yuck. Run! Don't let your son near this man again, no matter how reasonable his "explaination" of the situation may be. His actions are stupid at best, but probably much, much worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 You might also want to insinuate to the minister that you could have a nice fat law suit against whoever for allowing this person to take your son off site in his own personal vehicle. I don't think you even need to insinuate, just tell him. That he did that is that bad. He opened the church up to a myriad of liabilities. Can you imagine if there had been a car crash and he had all those boys in the car without permission? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DB in NJ Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Sounds like grooming behavior. Yup, that's what i was thinking. He should know better. If he is completely innocent, he's still uneducated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeacefulChaos Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Inappropriate for sure!!!!! :ack2: No way. None of his behavior would convince me otherwise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 I don't even know what this means but I'm with Imp. (Are you feeling validated yet?) Like an extra special coupon! :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Creepy, for sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Creepy, you're not out of line. Wow! I'd probably be on the phone to the other parents and the pastor tonight, sorry. Even if he is harmless, he's an idiot. Who does that type of stuff without going through the church and the parents. There are protocol to cover their liability. There is no way I could sleep without discussing it with someone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6wishes Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Creepy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dory Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Just to add, I told my 20 year old brother, and he reacted pretty strongly. He says he's be bordering on reporting the guy. He said that's grooming. Unless the guy is mentally incompetent (his words), he's grooming those boys and he's a predator. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunnyDays Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Not even close to the range of appropriate. At their age, all communication goes through the parents, and you do NOT ever take children off site without explicit permission. Clueless at best, and very dangerous at worst. Your Mama Bear bells are ringing for good reason and you're doing the right thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 I'd call CPS and, if you have any friends who are cops, I'd give one of them a call too and have them do some checking up on him. This is DEFINITE grooming behavior, and taking a bunch of boys somewhere alone, without permission or other adults in his vehicle is SO WRONG. In fact, if you know his full name, check the online sexual predator reports for your area NOW. ETA: Call the other parents tonight. Call the pastor when you've spoken to the other parents. This is SO WRONG. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starwarsmomma Posted August 15, 2012 Author Share Posted August 15, 2012 Hubby and I are on the same page. We don't have the pastors phone number, Dallas churches don't do that. LOL Hubby did send him an email asking for an urgent face-to-face meeting, hopefully for coffee first thing in the morning, or at worst, tomorrow after he gets home from work. Hubby and I agree that he is NOT going on the trip. I believe there is another calss he can be in, so that will be moved... And sadly, we may not do any further mission trips if that adult is going. Sad, because son loves the mission trips. :( Hubby is trying to give him the benefit of the doubt on the phone-- he may have assumed it was a parent's phone... but the rest I won't budge on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mama2cntrykids Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Put me in for CREEPY. Weird and wrong in SO many ways. OP-Do you go to a big church? I'm trying to find out why you've never met the youth leader before... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoPlaceLikeHome Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Creepy. I bet everyone agrees on this. :iagree: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 I wouldn't stop at talking to the pastor. I would be contacting the police and showing them the text. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Hubby is trying to give him the benefit of the doubt on the phone-- he may have assumed it was a parent's phone... but the rest I won't budge on. How is the text worded? Is it written to a parent or written to the boys? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 He wasn't texting parents. You don't text people you've never met. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Have you talked to the other parents? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evergreen State Sue Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 The Boy Scout Leadership will not go on any outing unless 2 adults are present - never appropriate to take a boy or multiple boys alone anywhere. The church should know better - if not, you and your husband can set them straight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Hubby and I are on the same page. We don't have the pastors phone number, Dallas churches don't do that. LOL Hubby did send him an email asking for an urgent face-to-face meeting, hopefully for coffee first thing in the morning, or at worst, tomorrow after he gets home from work. Hubby and I agree that he is NOT going on the trip. I believe there is another calss he can be in, so that will be moved... And sadly, we may not do any further mission trips if that adult is going. Sad, because son loves the mission trips. :( Hubby is trying to give him the benefit of the doubt on the phone-- he may have assumed it was a parent's phone... but the rest I won't budge on. I'd be hunting down the pastor's phone number. Don't you have a deacon or associate pastor you could call? Has this pastor been at your church long? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2scouts Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 While it's true that some guys are just clueless, especially if they're young and trying to be the "cool guy", this is totally inappropriate. I would not be comfortable letting my son go anywhere with him! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Honestly, my mama radar went off when reading your post. No way, no how! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stayseeliz Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Creepy! That sends off all kinds of red flags!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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