I think I need to be more diplomatic.

[SJ.]

I hate it when I feel like I put my foot in my mouth. I especially hate it when I realize it mid conversation but am unsure of how to fix it.

 

Today when talking to SIL she mentioned that she is planning on talking to the OB about inducing. She isn't quite 40 weeks yet but is accustomed to having her babies around 36 weeks. I didn't say anything offensive but she could probably tell that I didn't think inducing was a good idea.

 

I mentioned that normal pregnancies can be from 38 to 42 weeks and there was nothing wrong with going a bit past your due date. She mentioned that the mortality rate increases the closer you get to 42 weeks and she couldn't chance that. I said - really? Ds was born a few days shy of 42 weeks.

 

That is when I realized I probably wasn't being very supportive which is what every pregnant mom needs - support. I have to admit I was cringing inside when she said she needed to have the baby before this weekend so she could be at her teenage daughter's cheer recital on Sunday and that she needed to have the baby ASAP because BIL is stressed about when she will have the baby.

 

I tried to commiserate with her and be as supportive as possible for the rest of the conversation. I just hate it when I feel like I put my foot in my mouth and like I may have offended someone. bah. What I want to say to SIL is:

 

SIL,

I hope I didn't sound unsupportive when you mentioned induction, if I did I am sorry. All pregnancies and births are different and it is wonderful that we are able to make our own choices in this process. I hope everything goes well at the doctor this week.

 

SJ

 

What do you think? Email? Or just don't mention it?

[Reflections]

I hate it when I feel like I put my foot in my mouth. I especially hate it when I realize it mid conversation but am unsure of how to fix it.

 

Today when talking to SIL she mentioned that she is planning on talking to the OB about inducing. She isn't quite 40 weeks yet but is accustomed to having her babies around 36 weeks. I didn't say anything offensive but she could probably tell that I didn't think inducing was a good idea.

 

I mentioned that normal pregnancies can be from 38 to 42 weeks and there was nothing wrong with going a bit past your due date. She mentioned that the mortality rate increases the closer you get to 42 weeks and she couldn't chance that. I said - really? Ds was born a few days shy of 42 weeks.

 

That is when I realized I probably wasn't being very supportive which is what every pregnant mom needs - support. I have to admit I was cringing inside when she said she needed to have the baby before this weekend so she could be at her teenage daughter's cheer recital on Sunday and that she needed to have the baby ASAP because BIL is stressed about when she will have the baby.

 

I tried to commiserate with her and be as supportive as possible for the rest of the conversation. I just hate it when I feel like I put my foot in my mouth and like I may have offended someone. bah. What I want to say to SIL is:

 

SIL,

I hope I didn't sound unsupportive when you mentioned induction, if I did I am sorry. All pregnancies and births are different and it is wonderful that we are able to make our own choices in this process. I hope everything goes well at the doctor this week.

 

SJ

 

What do you think? Email? Or just don't mention it?

 

I think that you can still do the above in at least a phone call - not email if you can help it.

[SJ.]

I have to admit that I feel like a bad communicator, I know you both said to call SIL but I took the easy way out and sent an email. I definitely need to work on these things. I sense some needed personal growth. Tips?

 

Here is what I sent:

I feel like I just didn't say the right things tonight. I hope I didn't sound unsupportive and if I did I am very sorry. All pregnancies and births are different and it is wonderful that we have many choices available. i hope everything goes well at the doctor this week and I can't wait to meet your new little baby. ~Quick and easy baby birthing vibes to you~

[SJ.]

but FWIW, what you said isn't terrible

 

What a relief, I was hoping it wasn't. I did sense some awkwardness. I need to get better at these types of things.

[Rosie_0801]

but FWIW, what you said isn't terrible

 

Unless you used a horrid snarky tone and pulled a face at her, I'd be surprised if she hadn't forgotten already!

 

Rosie

[SJ.]

Unless you used a horrid snarky tone and pulled a face at her, I'd be surprised if she hadn't forgotten already!

 

Rosie

 

You are probably right, I do tend to over-think things!

[PeacefulChaos]

Well, I don't have any further advice (I think the email was fine, though. :) ) but I just wanted to say that I've done that... only worse. :D When SIL was complaining about her pregnancy on FB and talking about wanting to be induced a few weeks early, I don't even remember what I said - but I know it didn't go over well lol. My OTHER SIL (Also my BFF :lol: - didn't know how else to put it as I was afraid BF wouldn't make sense) chimed in and was peacemaker. 'Oh, you know none of us want you to feel like we're judging or anything like that - I know what everyone wants is just for you to have your baby safely!' or something to that effect.

Granted, I had just gotten over Pink being a full term NICU baby (in for a month), so I was very...adamant about babies cooking for their full time.

Oh, who am I kidding... I said something similar to someone else on FB 6 months ago... :leaving: :lol:

See, there is nothing to be learned here from me!!! :D

[NatashainDFW]

Honestly if you as an experienced mother said that to me I wouldn't think twice about it but if either of my sister in laws said the same thing I would be all kinds of ticked off. I don't have a problem taking advice from moms that have btdt but I have a hard time dealing with people who think they know all about pregnancy and parenting and have never done either.