Fitting into Boy Scouts

[JWSJ]

My son is interested in joining Boy Scouts. There are no just homeschool troops. I'm concerned that since we homeschool and are not into popular culture (we have no TV) that it might be an ill fit.

 

Please share your experiences.

[Leighton Academy]

My son was a Tiger Cub this past year. I know it's not exactly Boy Scouts but he was the only homeschooler in the troop. We have a television but we're very strict about what the boys watch. Granted they were all first graders but I found that popular culture never came into the mix at all.

[JFSinIL]

How old is he? re we talking tiger, Cub or Boy Scouts? Is there another homeschool kid you could get to join up with your son? My son, while he was in Scouts, got two other homeschool boys to join his troop.

[Melanie]

My son joined our local troop, and we were pleasantly surprised to find that there were several homeschoolers in the troop already. Pop culture isn't generally discussed during the meetings because they're too busy doing Boy Scout sanctioned stuff. So far my son hasn't reported any problems other than getting sunburned at camp. It's been a good experience for him. Be aware, though - it can be an extremely time consuming activity!

[Kelli in TN]

When my 22 year old started Cub Scouts there were no homeschoolers in the town, much less the pack (we lived in a small town that really, really loved its public schools). He was well accepted in spite of the fact that back then his mother was a bit of a know-it-all-homeschool-evangelist (I have grown out of that behavior since then).

 

When my 13 year old started Cub Scouts there were no homeschoolers in the troop geographically closest to us. He did have some trouble fitting in, but some of this may have had to do with the fact that he probably could qualify for a diagnosis of ADHD and so he was sometimes the troublemaker. My husband ended up starting a homeschool pack, but it folded for lack of numbers. He is in Boy Scouts now and there are a couple of homeschoolers, but they don't always hang out together. It is a nice mix of boys and none of them seem to really care where the others go to school.

 

My 8 year old just finished his first year of Cub Scouts. He is in a pack that is attached to our local classical Christian school. He is very well accepted by the boys and parents. He struggles because he is a special needs kid and this school tends to produce very smart kids. Sometimes the difference in maturity and comprehension between him and the other boys is jarring, but they are friendly to him and accepting to him and he is almost always invited to their birthday parties! (Isn't that the measure of acceptance at 8, being invited to the birthday parties?)

 

Please give it a try. And if it does not feel right, try another pack. Scouts has been so good for my boys. I hope it will be the same for yours.

[TravelingChris]

My son went from Tiger through Eagle and then several Palms. He was only in a homeschool pack for about half a year because we moved states. Overall, my son had a lot less problems being in Boy Scouts than my daughters did in Girl Scouts. That is because boys in general are a lot less chatty. At one point, there were a few boys in one of the packs obsessed with Pokemon or something like that but ceratinly not all and not my son. Boy Scouts reinforced our principles and I strongly recommend the organization. If one group doesn't work, try another. each pack has a different flavor. By the way, my almost 15 yo daughter joined the BSA this last year as an Explorer.

[charlotteb]

My son in in 6th grade and has been in the same scout group since he was a Tiger (first grade). His group is sanctioned by a church that we used to attend. There are 3 other homeschoolers in his patrol besides our family. But even those who don't homeschool seem like very sweet, wholesome boys.

[Peek a Boo]

My oldest has been in a traditional pack for two years now, and my 11yo just bridged into the same troop. So far, so good. I'd still prefer a family scout troop --where the pack, scout, and an american heritage girls club-- are all integrated, but until I'm ready to start it myself we're handling this ok. My 7yo is a wolf and the experience has been the same :)

[wheezie]

Well, our only experience has been with Girl Scouts, but dd is the only hs'ed child, and all the kids really seem to like her. They all tell her how "cool" it is that she's hs'ed, they ask all kinds of questions (can you stay in your jammies all day?? ;))etc. She's had no trouble fitting in.:001_smile:

[lvbnhome]

My son is in a troup and most of the boys are public schooled. What has impressed me the most is that it is not so much about whether the boys are from hs or pc families, but it is about them as individuals, and leadership has much to do with that.

 

When the leadership is good, then the boys will be able to accomplish leadership goals and their personal learning will be individualized.

 

We were in an all homeschooled group for 2 years, lead by a woman, who WAS the master in leadership, with all the men serving in their positions, but it just wasn't right. no flames please, but we have just seen better results with men leading the boys, in this setting.

 

My husband, who is wonderful, but not the manly kind of rugged cowboy type, but gentle, has learned much from boyscouts too, and he and my son have grown very close from the experiences together, although my husband did feel a little scared at first. That was because of his own insecurities, but it has worked well for both of them.

 

Oh and one more thing... there are "city" groups and "country" groups. This is not a boyscout term, but what I call it. There are those that really don't do much camping or focus on boy hardy skills and then there are those who really make it rugged. Your son will learn alot and I pray it will be a rich and rewarding experience for you all, as it has for us :):grouphug:

 

My son is interested in joining Boy Scouts. There are no just homeschool troops. I'm concerned that since we homeschool and are not into popular culture (we have no TV) that it might be an ill fit.

 

Please share your experiences.

[Melissa in CA]

My son while in Cub Scouts had no problems fitting in at all...he loved it! Boy Scouts has been a bit different. He doesn't care for it as much. Too many older boys who often use foul language when the leaders are not around. He has been hearing his fair share of "F" words. And this pack has several homeschoolers in it as well. :001_huh:

 

He does not look forward to going and we do not feel comfortable sending him on overnight outings with the older foul-mouthed s*x crazed boys. It's been somewhat of a disappointment. He just asked the other day if he could quit until the older boys "graduate" and leave the pack.

 

I know, my son sounds like a little prude...but he truly is not. We understand curse words for what they are...just words. The more mature worldly boys are just very intimidating I think.

[Laura K (NC)]

When we started we just fell into a Cub Scout pack that was closest to us. It wound up working well, and there are 3 or 4 other homeschooling families involved. At the cub scout level there really isn't anything to worry about with blending with public-schooled kids. There is usually a lot of adult supervision. I thought it was a great way to supplement our homeschool efforts. There are a lot of science-y activities and a lot of sports activities -- even for boys who aren't very athletic. It gives them a lot of exposure to a wide variety of skills. My only complaints about Cub Scouts is that some parents think they're the only busy ones, so other busy parents wind up doing a lot of the volunteering. My husband and I both put in many years and many hours as den leaders (and other jobs).

 

Boy Scouts is a bit different. If your son is 6th grade or older, I would definitely, absolutely ask as many people as possible their opinions on local troops. It might be worth it to drive to the next city to get into a good group. Sit in on a few meetings before you decide on a group. Ask your local homeschooling community if you have anything organized like that. Our troop is made up of kids who are mostly good, but there are a few rotten apples. I was very worried when my oldest went into Boy Scouts because I didn't like the idea of 11-year-olds socializing with 16-and 17-year olds, but that really isn't a problem. The kids segregate themselves into older and younger boys. Our 11yo has a friend in the troop his own age who has the most foul mouth you could imagine, and so it's not always the older kids who are the problem. My three boys are all old enough now that I know they've heard the worst of it, they know it's wrong, and they know how awful it sounds when people talk like that. There is less supervision at the boy scout level, unfortunately, so my husband has volunteered to be a leader so he can keep an eye on things.

 

My middle son didn't want to cross over into scouts with his brothers so he took a few years off before he decided, finally, to join. He has been happy with the troop because of a few other homeschooled boys he knows outside the troop.

 

I think it's a good experience if you can find the right group.

[Susan in TN]

I think he might have a more difficult time if the troop/pack meets in a school rather than another place like a church or community center. At a school, most of the boys will likely come from that school and so have a pretty strong common bond in that way. It may not be an issue at all, but just a thought.

 

My ds's Boy Scout troop meets in a church, although I'd say only half or fewer of the boys attend that church (we do not) and certainly less than half are homeschooled.

 

The Boy Scout program really encourages boys to visit and try out different groups to see where they might best fit in, so depending on your area, you may have more than one choice. In our area, there are several troops and they each have a unique atmosphere.

[Sasharowan]

My oldest went from Webelos to boy scouts (he's tenderfoot now). My ds7 is now a Wolf scout. They are in mixed packs, mostly ps with a few hs thrown in. The cubbies are mostly led by women around here with the dads helping on weekends when they are off work. The boy scouts are mostly led by men with the moms helping in the background. We have had only good experiences (not counting homesickness at the first summer camp) and have not had any problems due to homeschooling or differing values.

[Lakeside]

Thanks for asking. I was wondering the same thing! Ds is interested in joining, but I'm wondering how to find a pack that fits.

 

If you start with one and it isn't a good match are you able to switch mid-year? I've heard that some packs are more badge-focused and others are more about doing other fun activities. Any thoughts on how to figure this out?

 

Thanks!

[JumpedIntoTheDeepEndFirst]

We haven't had any trouble with Cub Scouts. Ideally the boys are so busy with their activities during meetings that they won't have time for Pokemon cards (or whatever is the "in" game these days).

 

The closest we have had to trouble has been that because of the extra time we have due to homeschooling our ds is often ahead in the amount of activities he completes on his own. The leaders have always been supportive though.

 

I suggest that you give it a try. I know our son has had dens with half the boys winding up homeschooled to being the only one and he enjoys them all. The only problem from his perspective has been the amount of time needed to get to know everyone since they often know each other from school.

[Rosie_0801]

Maybe it's different over there, but here it's not a schooling difference, but a troop culture difference. You can have kids from the same school in two different troops, and the culture would be different in both. When my mother retired from brownies, two other leaders took over. In two weeks, they'd trashed the social atmosphere we'd built so carefully. You may have to relax your standards a bit, for the scouting situation (not what you do at home) but shop around. If you don't fit in one, you may find another that fits better. It's the sort of thing that is worth travelling a bit for.

:)

Rosie

[Kelli in TN]

Maybe it's different over there, but here it's not a schooling difference, but a troop culture difference. You can have kids from the same school in two different troops, and the culture would be different in both. When my mother retired from brownies, two other leaders took over. In two weeks, they'd trashed the social atmosphere we'd built so carefully. You may have to relax your standards a bit, for the scouting situation (not what you do at home) but shop around. If you don't fit in one, you may find another that fits better. It's the sort of thing that is worth travelling a bit for.

:)

Rosie

 

 

That is what we have found as well. My son attends Cub Scouts at a pack that meets in a school, the only kids there that don't attend that school are the handful of homeschoolers and yet he has been totally accepted. My older son tried a pack that was a mixture of schools and could not find his place in it. There is definetly a culture to each group.

[In The Great White North]

Yes, you can switch troops mid-season if you want to.

 

Our troop has boys from several area towns (all of which have their own troops). Ds is the only home schooled scout and is now the Senior Patrol Leader. It's never been a problem. The older boys were good examples for him, so now he realizes that's his job. It works well.

 

I found Cub Scouts to be more affected by pop culture because they can't do a lot of the "better" stuff til they're older, so they were less focused at meetings and only did one "family camp" weekend a year. There was no "boy leadership" at Cub Scouts either. There is a tendency (at Cub and Brownies) for everyone to join. This results in having a lot of kids who do not really want to be there. By the time they are Boy Scouts, these guys have dropped out, leaving the ones who are interested, motivated and cooperative.

 

Finding the right troop is key, but there must be a lot of them. We fell right into 2 (after moves) on the first try, without any searching at all. You should be able to tell after one or two meetings - no need to waste a whole year in a bad situation.

[PrairieAir]

In my experience, boys who stick with Scouts on up to Boy Scouts are not as worldly. I think that's the best way to put it. They may be into video games and television shows and popular music, etc., but they are into the things that Scouting has to offer. To stick with it into the teen years requires a little extra character, IMO, since it often carries the stigma of being "nerdy" among other kids. We were always in a homeschool troop, but having observed other troops at district and council events and having known a few of my son's public school classmates who stuck with Boy Scouts through high school, this is what I have seen.

 

It isn't that the kids actually are nerdy, that's just what the kids who think they're too cool for Scouting think. Those kids have no idea what they're missing out on! The boys who stick with it are often very into all that Scouting has to offer with the outdoor skills and other projects as well. They may talk about music or TV or pop culture, but their focus is on what they can get out of Scouting and the meetings should be focused on specific activities and skills. Many troops have a no radio/iPod/video game/TV policy for during campouts. These trooops may allow boys to bring such things for the car trip, but they are required to leave them in the car once they reach their destination.

 

I agree with what others have said about asking for recommendations and visiting troops before joining. Troops vary widely based on leadership. At the Boy Scout level, they are supposed to be mostly boy led, but there should still be a strong support system of adult leaders who will teach the boys to lead properly. One problem I've seen is when the boys are just thrown into the situation as new Scouts with no older, experienced Scouts and are expected to lead and plan on their own with no direction as to how to do it. Good leadership requires training and experience. Another problem I've seen is when the adults don't know when to step back and keep their hands out of things enough. It's a delicate balance, but there are many good troops who have that balance figured out. I hope you can find one that is right for you.

[Kelli in TN]

It isn't that the kids actually are nerdy, that's just what the kids who think they're too cool for Scouting think. Those kids have no idea what they're missing out on! The boys who stick with it are often very into all that Scouting has to offer with the outdoor skills and other projects as well. They may talk about music or TV or pop culture, but their focus is on what they can get out of Scouting and the meetings should be focused on specific activities and skills. .

 

We just helped take a bunch of Boy Scouts from a variety of area troops to St. Louis to catch the train to Philmont. It was fun to eavesdrop on their conversations. They were very aware of current fads and discussed gaming, movies, television and music. But they also discussed what they had been doing to condition themselves for Philmont and they talked about what they expected from the Philmont experience. They were delightful boys. They were very focused and goal oriented, without being out of touch.

[Adrianne]

My son is interested in joining Boy Scouts. There are no just homeschool troops. I'm concerned that since we homeschool and are not into popular culture (we have no TV) that it might be an ill fit.

 

Please share your experiences.

 

 

After 3 different cubscout groups we found we did not fit in. My son was not motivated and in the end we quit. I can't say it was because of homeschooling but not being into popular culture definitely had something to do with it. He didn't watch the shows or movies they watched. They were not into the things he wanted to talk about (usually history). I also found cubscouts is not very Christian oriented. This also discouraged my ds 9.

 

We joined the Christian Service Brigade at our church. Ds loves it! No one there is homeschooled but he is fitting in OK.

 

Good luck!

[Kris]

My son is interested in joining Boy Scouts. There are no just homeschool troops. I'm concerned that since we homeschool and are not into popular culture (we have no TV) that it might be an ill fit.

 

Please share your experiences.

 

We didn't "fit in" to boy scouts even before we were homeschooling. :lol: