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Need encouragement....not sending youngest to K


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I'm a little sad. I am hs'ing all 3 for the first time. He is my only one who won't be attending Kindergarten at ps. I am not doubting how he will do at home, or even future grade levels. Just sad at the things I *think* he will miss out on this year.

 

Please tell me this feeling will go away and I won't regret my decision.

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What is it you think he will miss out on?

 

Oh just little things such as, first bus ride with the neighbor kids, making new friends, holiday parties, etc.

 

We have a great support group here, so he will be around other kids. Just a little down that my older two were able to experience K. I'm sure once the excitement of school started fades around here, I will be just fine.

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I've struggled with this a little bit too. My dd went to preschool and daycare so she was used to a "school" environment. There have been times she's asked me if she can go back to school or expressed missing her old teachers and friends. I feel confident in the decision to homeschool her and feel it really has been the best choice for her, but it breaks my heart when she says those things because I second guess myself too. She is a social girl and had a lot of friends.

 

But, I keep in mind, as she gets older, kids don't really spend all that much times socializing during class time, and she gets distracted easily, so having peers would not be helpfull for her when trying to learn, and I make it a point to make sure she has socail outlets, such as church, playdates with old preschool friends, playing outside with neighborhood children, and a couple weekly activities.

 

This summer she went to a half day morning camp 2 times a week. Last school year (I pulled her out of private preschool in March) she did a sports class and dance / gymnastic class at The Little Gym 2 afternoons a week as well as went to Cubbies once a week and Sunday school. This school year we hope to have her attend the same 2 classes at Little Gym, Sparks, and she'll do a music class and art class with me and her younger brother 2 mornings a week.

 

Plus, of course she has her brothers to play with. I have a 3 year old who I homeschool for preschool and an 8 year old stepson who we have joint custody of (he goes to ps). So, she has plenty of interaction.

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Why are you homeschooling? Do those things apply to your son?

 

You could send him to kindergarten and then bring him back home for first grade, if you think those things would be fun and worthwhile.

 

I understand. :grouphug: It's been really hard for me, not sending them off to kindergarten, for those "milestone" experiences. I sort of regret it, but I like the flexibility it has given us and such.

 

It IS hard, and I don't hear that grief and difficulty acknowledged very often in homeschooling communities. :grouphug:

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I never felt that because I always just thought about all the bad things they would miss out on (first school bullying that I hear nothing about! first waste of time homework! first mean teacher!) and all the good things they would get from homeschooling (first full of week of field trips! first finishing a workbook where you went at your own pace! first time sitting at the table doing phonics in your pajamas and eating cereal!).

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I am struggling with these same issues. My oldest daughter is enrolled to start PS kindergarten in 2 weeks...I haven't had the guts to disenroll her yet. We sent her to 2 day/week preschool (back before HSing was even on our radar). She loved it of course, loved her friends, her teacher, and actually she learned a lot there. I am totally on board with homeschooling IN THEORY but it's hard to take that step and say, we are not going to be a part of the System.

 

Still don't know what I'm going to do.

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Just sad at the things I *think* he will miss out on this year.

 

I hated K and felt I was failing already. Mid-session nap: everyone else slept, but I hadn't napped in years: got in trouble

Task chart: couldn't learn to tie my shoes, last kid in class to fill out chart: felt like a failure

Graham crackers and milk: felt sick because I couldn't brush my teeth afterwards and I knew it was the right thing to do

Had to leave the house: missed my cat like crazy.

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From a former public school teacher please don't be afraid to what is best for your kid. I used so much time up going to the bathroom, sharping pencils and teaching to the middle road kids. Praying that some way my kids that were struggling some how would get enough to pass state test. Forget challenging kids that were gifted. Ds went to k. He didn't learn anymore than he knew. He did enjoy the kids and parties but he was exhausted daily. He slept every afternoon. He was sick a ton.

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Do what we do. First day we go out for breakfast instead of getting on the bus, we do birthday school celebrations, show-n-tell for the littler kids, group finger plays and songs with the older kids, and take kick butt field trips to the palces they usually go....apple orchard, pumpkin picking..whatever. The only difference is that we don't fight the crowds, make rest time mandatory, make them walk in dumb lines, and they can sleep in and be fresh for the day. I say don't give them a taste so that they can't ask to go again the next year. :tongue_smilie:

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Graham crackers and milk: felt sick because I couldn't brush my teeth

 

We had graham crackers with apple juice made from concentrate in a can, always way too strong for my taste. Yuck.

 

I don't mean to be odd, but if you think K is very important, why not send him?

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Oh just little things such as, first bus ride with the neighbor kids, making new friends, holiday parties, etc.

 

We have a great support group here, so he will be around other kids. Just a little down that my older two were able to experience K. I'm sure once the excitement of school started fades around here, I will be just fine.

 

My kids hated the bus - really hated it. We had holiday parties of our own.

 

Focus on the good stuff and let the little stuff go. I hope you enjoy school with all three of your kids this year!

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My oldest went to a lovely Montessori school for preschool and kindergarten before we brought him home. When it came time for my second child to have a turn I did feel guilty about all of the things she would be missing out on by not having the same opportunity as her older brother. However, a friend said something that really resonated with me: by keeping her home I'm not cheating her of an experience, I'm simply giving her the opportunity for a different experience. It's not necessarily better or worse, just different.

 

(For what it's worth, as much as we loved Montessori, here we are a year later and you know what? We don't miss it at all, dd has thrived at home and I'm confident that she's had a wonderful past year full of experiences that she wouldn't have had if she'd been in school.)

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Do you really remember that much about kindergarden? I do remember crying in first grade because I missed my mom. If they go to school they will miss things that you can do at home. Dd went to preschool, k and 1st grade. Ds just went to preschool. You can create your own traditions and memories. Dd was sad she didn't have a locker in high school so a friend bought her one at an auction. Dd and dh sanded and painted it. :D Life is full of choices. My dc would have been fine in ps but I'm glad we home schooled.

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You all are making me feel so much better! Truly!!

 

My main reason for not sending him was to keep our entire family together. Last year was hard, youngest in 1/2 day Montessori, middle in ps and oldest at home. We did some really fun field trips and experiences that at least one would miss out. Also, our district has a super strict attendance policy and if he went to K, that would affect our schedule here too.

 

The K & 1st are great in our district, but it's downhill from there, so I am not worried after that point.

 

I think you are right, focus on what they can't do at school that he can experience with us at home, instead of the other way around. I love some of the traditions you all have started too. I may steal those!

 

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who has dealt with this!

 

:grouphug:

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My twins are going to pre-school this year for the first time. I have mixed feelings, but with only 3 half days, I am doing ok. I know they will have such fun, and still spend so much time with us. I am already debating if I want to try them in PS K next year or just start homeschooling them. So, I hear you, OP!

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I love kindergarten at home! Think of all the things you guys would be missing if he did go to school. None of my kids ever went to pre school or kindergarten, we don't regret it a bit, we shared so many wonderful moments and made lasting special memories. I wouldn't trade the early years with my kids for anything, all those lightbulb moments, reading their first words to their mama, baking cookies, painting, crafting, nature hikes, fingers sticky with glue, reading books on a blanket under a tree for hours, dancing in the kitchen when they read a sentence, dumping dinky cars or ponies on the table to teach math, coloring letters on the windows with window markers- these things are all so precious to me, and to my children, I wouldn't let a teacher who doesn't love them the way I do have all that. I really don't think my kids missed out in anything by not going to kindy, they had friends and family they played with regularly, went to Sunday school, those were happy, joyous years, IME. :) Relish them.

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You know, if your youngest hasn't gone to preschool or k, it might be easier then if he did because then he won't have had the experience of traditional school to idealize years later. My ds, well, he's only 3, doesn't really seem to care about going to preschool. My dd, who went to preschool, says she misses at times. But, it depends on her mood. Sometimes she says she loves homeschooling and will tell people proudly that she is homeschooled and learning so much. Other days she gets frusterated with me (and me likewise) and says she wants to go back to her old school. This is usually during seatwork time. I reinforce, "when daddy and I considered the options, of going to public school, going to your Christian school or homeschooling we felt this was the best option for you. Mama can give you all the one on one time you need and we can work at your own pace, etc. We can go on fun field trips and do lots of fun activities and crafts, etc."

 

We chose to hs because my daughter was getting further and further behind at her private academic preschool. Using a more multisensory approach at home, and having less distractions, the improvement I've seen in her over the last couple of months is huge!

 

Oh, and I hated K. I had been perfectly happy surrounded by extended family, cared for by my grandmother and aunts, playing with cousins my own age. Public school was sometimes fun, yes, but I would say the bad outweighed the good. I used to think growing up, I wished I'd been homeschooled instead. When people talk about how wonderfull childhood is, how carefree it is, blah, blah, blah, I have to wonder if they have some sort of figmnet of their imagination childhood that they idealized over the last couple decades, because I remember otherwise. But that's another story.

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:grouphug: I understand. Last year Pigby did one day a week at a charter school. There are no co-ops in our area. While, we loved the charter school, we can't do it anymore because it was too far away and gas has gone up. So I still get teary about not being able to do it anymore. I am getting better at doing fun things, so he seems to be enjoying being at home more.

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I understand.:grouphug: My youngest is the only one of mine who won't get on the big yellow bus and head off to PS for K. I *know* I'm doing the right thing. I *know* that her bubbly personality and endless energy will not get crushed at home, but there's still the feeling that she might be missing something. I got panicked yesterday as I was preparing the school room and she came in and played "school" complete with pretend classmates. She went to a part time preschool and does know about school away from home. The good thing is that the older siblings are telling her that homeschool is better and she's excited about starting kindergarten at home.

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My oldest went to a lovely Montessori school for preschool and kindergarten before we brought him home. When it came time for my second child to have a turn I did feel guilty about all of the things she would be missing out on by not having the same opportunity as her older brother. However, a friend said something that really resonated with me: by keeping her home I'm not cheating her of an experience, I'm simply giving her the opportunity for a different experience. It's not necessarily better or worse, just different.

 

(For what it's worth, as much as we loved Montessori, here we are a year later and you know what? We don't miss it at all, dd has thrived at home and I'm confident that she's had a wonderful past year full of experiences that she wouldn't have had if she'd been in school.)

 

Do you really remember that much about kindergarden? I do remember crying in first grade because I missed my mom. If they go to school they will miss things that you can do at home. Dd went to preschool, k and 1st grade. Ds just went to preschool. You can create your own traditions and memories. Dd was sad she didn't have a locker in high school so a friend bought her one at an auction. Dd and dh sanded and painted it. :D Life is full of choices. My dc would have been fine in ps but I'm glad we home schooled.

Thank you for this! I have been have the same feelings that my son would be missing out on kindergarten. Now I feel better :)

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You know, if your youngest hasn't gone to preschool or k, it might be easier then if he did because then he won't have had the experience of traditional school to idealize years later.

 

I agree with this. Rebecca attended a great MDO preschool for 2 years, but she actually sobbed in a store when someone asked her about going to K. I did nothing to demonize it! Sylvia was unimpressed with preschool. :tongue_smilie:

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