Is it normal to feel like homeschooling is very hard work and mentally taxing?

[PaigeP]

Ive just begun my homeschooling journey and I already feel completely overwhelmed and worn out mentally from all the planning and just day day in and day out holding mine to focus. And when we take breaks (between subjects), it's no break for me as I'm doing housework or preparing school stuff for the next subject. I feel that this is 10x harder than when I worked (career) before motherhood. It's ALL day. And when the school day is over I'm still doing supper prep, etc. I'm already tired and I don't know how I can do this for 12 more years! Am I weird in feeling this way?

[Veritaserum]

It's normal for me (at least lately). :grouphug: I ran my own part-time business up until 2 years ago. Dh asked me if I was interested in starting it up again to reach a particular financial goal. I was like :001_huh: and then :svengo: and then :willy_nilly: at that suggestion. We don't need my income and I feel like I'm barely hanging in there with life as it is.

 

The baby just fell asleep. I should go get some laundry to fold. But I really don't want to. We started school yesterday and I'm already pooped. :tongue_smilie:

[justLisa]

Yeah, I try to remind myself the craziness of kids in school though. The EARLY mornings, homework, everything crazy after 3pm. I can't handle all that running around and schedule. I feel like I'm always running around like a chicken with my head cut off, but at least it's in my house and I can look like a slob LOL

[klmama]

Yes, it's normal. You can lessen it, though, by choosing carefully how you organize your day. Can you combine all of your dc for read-alouds? Breakfast and lunch are great for that. Can you combine for any other subjects?

 

You may want to rethink where you do everything. If you need to cook, have some of the time be in the kitchen so you can get things started. If you need to fold laundry, try to have a load ready to fold first thing in the day and work on it while you sit with a child doing math problems.

 

How old is your oldest? If you have younger dc that aren't schooled yet, can they watch educational videos for an hour while you work one-on-one with your school-age dc? Is there a safe room for them to play in where you can gate them in to play for an hour, yet still be within sight/hearing of them while you work with your older dc?

 

ETA: As they get older, it does tend to get easier in the sense that usually you don't have to sit right at their elbow all day long.

Edited August 8, 2012 by klmama

[kalanamak]

It was scary for me for 1st and 2nd, when kiddo finally started reading smoothly. The rest of 2nd, then 3-4th were great.

 

5th grade I am expecting considerably more out of both of us, and I'm terrified I can't keep up again. Kiddo gave me an eye roll today, and a vein popped out in my nose, I swear. I see a showdown coming. We've had two before, and I hate them.

 

So, I am drained and fearful now, but can do nothing but keep trying. I can't help but think ps would be a HORROR for my son. I fidgeted and stared out the window all through grade school, and he's even wigglier than I was.

[Pink Fairy]

It's normal for me. I'll have five in school this year (!!!!!), and my brain is on overload just thinking about it.

[dangermom]

Yeah. I love it, but it's pretty tiring. And I only have two!

[74Heaven]

Exhausting and keeping everyone on task and not minding each others' business are my biggest stressors. My children learn easily so IQ and mastery are not problematic - but they tend to slack, are all ADHD and do the minimum on chores and schoolwork unless pushed/prodded/pulled.

 

I keep thinking there has got to be an easier, kinder, gentler way ??????

 

lisaj, mom to 5 (2 in college; 3 homeschooling)

[Forget-Me-Not]

It gets better, IME. I really noticed it during my first several weeks of homeschooling too, and I actually posted about it here :) It got better as we moved into the year and found our rhythm. It comes back at the beginning of each school year (well, so far. Starting my 3rd year), but eases up again.

 

Hang in there!

[cindergretta]

I find it gets easier when they can read! :D

 

I have ADD and I get overwhelmed and exhausted because of my inability to be hyper-organized, or even regularly organized. <sigh> I am 10 years in and have who knows how many years left. I never ever think about that or I will do what Veritaserum did when her dh suggested restarting her part-time business. :tongue_smilie:

[Georgiana Daniels]

Ive just begun my homeschooling journey and I already feel completely overwhelmed and worn out mentally from all the planning and just day day in and day out holding mine to focus. And when we take breaks (between subjects), it's no break for me as I'm doing housework or preparing school stuff for the next subject. I feel that this is 10x harder than when I worked (career) before motherhood. It's ALL day. And when the school day is over I'm still doing supper prep, etc. I'm already tired and I don't know how I can do this for 12 more years! Am I weird in feeling this way?

 

If you have 12 more years, does that mean you've just started? Or 12 years until your youngest graduates? If you're just starting, try going a little easier on yourself. When they're starting K they don't need as much focused time as they do going forward. There's nothing wrong with easing into it :)

[funschooler5]

I've found that the older my kids are the easier it gets.

[freerange]

I find it's like starting a new job, mentally exhausting until you hit your stride. As you get further along your hs journey, the tough days will be fewer, and you may even occasionally feel like you know what you're doing. ;)

 

I've six years to go with my youngest, and I'm starting to get the hang of this!

[shanvan]

Yeah, I try to remind myself the craziness of kids in school though. The EARLY mornings, homework, everything crazy after 3pm. I can't handle all that running around and schedule. I feel like I'm always running around like a chicken with my head cut off, but at least it's in my house and I can look like a slob LOL

 

I need reminding of this from time to time. As difficult and draining as homeschooling can be, I know I would not be any happier or more well rested if they went to school.

[SailorMom]

Mentally taxing and hard work.... I don't see how it could be anything but that really....

:)

[fairfarmhand]

yup. Some days are like that. It is a real job.

[elegantlion]

Ive just begun my homeschooling journey and I already feel completely overwhelmed and worn out mentally from all the planning and just day day in and day out holding mine to focus. And when we take breaks (between subjects), it's no break for me as I'm doing housework or preparing school stuff for the next subject. I feel that this is 10x harder than when I worked (career) before motherhood. It's ALL day. And when the school day is over I'm still doing supper prep, etc. I'm already tired and I don't know how I can do this for 12 more years! Am I weird in feeling this way?

 

How old are your dc?

 

If you're only doing K, you need to prioritize school, an afternoon break (quiet time), and some low-prep dinners for busy days.

 

Even with one we've always had after school quiet time. I call it that because "get out of my face I need a break" time doesn't sound so nice. 30 minutes to 1 hour of nothing, no housework, no school, no cleaning, just chill. It does wonders and kind of segments my day.

 

We just started our 9th year of schooling. Even now I know Mondays are going to be killer. We plan pizza for Mondays, it's all I can do to pop a pizza in the oven.

 

Yes, homeschooling is hard work. It's work and it takes time to realize that it's like a job and you're at home. So the two worlds collide and you have to tweak how that is going to work for you. Aside from cleaning up after ourselves and maybe a load of laundry, I don't do houswork during school. I worked for years before ds was born, I have to treat homeschooling like I"m working at home for it to be done properly. Dh is supportive and helpful, that makes a difference.

 

:grouphug: The first few weeks are the worst.

[garddwr]

If you have 12 more years, does that mean you've just started? Or 12 years until your youngest graduates? If you're just starting, try going a little easier on yourself. When they're starting K they don't need as much focused time as they do going forward. There's nothing wrong with easing into it :)

 

:iagree:

 

Some of the countries with the best academic outcomes (like Finland) don't start academics until age 7. You don't have to do everything the very first year.

 

When my oldest was K age I decided we would start with one subject, then gradually add more as we got used to doing school.

[shanvan]

How old are your dc?

 

If you're only doing K, you need to prioritize school, an afternoon break (quiet time), and some low-prep dinners for busy days.

 

Even with one we've always had after school quiet time. I call it that because "get out of my face I need a break" time doesn't sound so nice. 30 minutes to 1 hour of nothing, no housework, no school, no cleaning, just chill. It does wonders and kind of segments my day.

 

We just started our 9th year of schooling. Even now I know Mondays are going to be killer. We plan pizza for Mondays, it's all I can do to pop a pizza in the oven.

 

Yes, homeschooling is hard work. It's work and it takes time to realize that it's like a job and you're at home. So the two worlds collide and you have to tweak how that is going to work for you. Aside from cleaning up after ourselves and maybe a load of laundry, I don't do houswork during school. I worked for years before ds was born, I have to treat homeschooling like I"m working at home for it to be done properly. Dh is supportive and helpful, that makes a difference.

 

All very wise and wonderful advice/observations.Plan easy meals for rough days, treat it as a job, build in the time you need to decompress.........as for this last comment in bold......

 

:grouphug: The first few weeks are the worst.

 

Why did you have to go and say it? I know it, but I'm trying not to think it. If I think it or say it out loud, that will make it true.:tongue_smilie: I thought we all agreed never to actually speak it. :lol:

[wintermom]

I find it's like starting a new job, mentally exhausting until you hit your stride. As you get further along your hs journey, the tough days will be fewer, and you may even occasionally feel like you know what you're doing. ;)

 

 

:iagree: You also build up confidence, which REALLY helps as each year can be a little different. Just when you think you've got a hang of things, a child's learning development changes and you have to re-think your way of doing something. It's a challenge, and it's so worth the effort you put in.

 

I also take my summers completely off. I need time to recharge my batteries. Throughout the school year, I make sure I do things that are beneficial for my health and energy, such as regular physical activity. Makes all the difference in the world.

[elegantlion]

Why did you have to go and say it? I know it, but I'm trying not to think it. If I think it or say it out loud, that will make it true.:tongue_smilie: I thought we all agreed never to actually speak it. :lol:

 

:lol::lol: Someone spiked my coffee, I swear it's just the sangria speaking. :lol::lol: Wait, that was last night. What did I do last night? What day is it?

 

I plead the fifth.

[ErinE]

I've found that taking quiet time for myself makes it easier. Not every day, but once or twice I go into my room and no one is allowed to disturb me unless it's an emergency. I also ask DH for alone time on the weekends when I need it.

[SunnyDays]

I need reminding of this from time to time. As difficult and draining as homeschooling can be, I know I would not be any happier or more well rested if they went to school.

 

This is what keeps me going, at least for the time being. There was a reason we STARTED homeschooling in the first place, and every time I'm ready to throw in the towel, I remind myself of that. :grouphug:

[Shannanlee]

Yes, I am always mentally exhausted by the end of the day.

[ThisIsTheDay]

No, you are not weird at all (as evidenced by the other responses!), but you may want to step back and consider where you can adapt your hsing to fit your family life.

 

Based on your comments, it seems that your oldest is pretty young? Of course it's good to plan things out, but for the younger years, focus on the basic academics, building your relationship with your child, and enjoying this time together.

 

What are you using that is requiring so much advance prep? It shouldn't be necessary, particularly with younger children. Would it be a fair tradeoff to consider a curriculum that is more open and go, in exchange for the time it might save you?

 

IF your kids are young, it seems that school can more easily to built into your day instead of taking up all of your time. It can be an extension of what you've been doing for the past couple of years, a bit of table time, lots of continued reading aloud, and time for independent play/discovery.

 

And yes, lol, it IS ten times, twenty times harder than working (as in a full time job outside your home)! Ah, I remember those working days when my kids were little--when I could eat my own lunch all by myself, when I didn't have to stop and cut up anyone else's food, and when I could go to the bathroom when I needed to, all alone! It was a great break, and it even paid money!

 

But of course, the rewards of staying home, especially when your kids are younger, are much sweeter . . .

 

Hang in there. As an earlier poster said, it gets easier around 3rd/4th grade, once you are more in the swing and you have the confidence of a few years of successful schooling behind you.

 

In the meantime, work at giving yourself the freedom to enjoy your time now. It goes by so fast.:grouphug:

[brendag]

I kind of felt that the first year of homeschooling was like my first year as a new mom of twins...you just get in there and get your hands dirty, take lots of deep breaths/breaks whenever you can and enjoy as much as possible. :tongue_smilie:

 

Brenda

[angela in ohio]

Sounds like you're doing it right! :D

 

You will feel somewhat less overwhelmed as you do it longer. The physical demands will lessen as they get older and help more, but the mental demands will become greater every year.

[Ruby Rose]

I give myself a little down time to switch gear between school and all the things left to do for dinner, etc. I go in my room, close the door and either surf the net, watch an episode of my favorite show on Netflix or just close my eyes and rest for 45 minutes. My kids have learn that Mommy NEEDS breaks too and they usually let me have it while they do there own thing.

[Laura Corin]

Not weird. It's hard, rewarding work. It does get easier as you get into the swing of things, but I always found it taxing.

 

Laura

[Jpoy85]

sometimes i think it would be 1000000x easier if C could read! I hope it is, but until then I have days where i really question everything im doing.

[Joyofsixreboot]

I've had homeschoolers, I've had public schoolers, I've had virtual schoolers. They are all exhausting but in different ways. I obviously like variety in my stressors :lol:.

[scubamama]

all summer long!

That's how I feel about HS this year. It'll be my 6th year.

Summer did not recharge me at all this time.

A friend I admire and respect is sending her kids to PS this year. It was like a kick when I am down! I am really weak right now and tempted to send my kids...

DH wants them to stay home.

I want to not be a wrung out, frantic, frazzled, frustrated woman.

I'm not sure that I can do it. YOu'd think I'd be good at this since I've been doing it this long, but my kids and I are.....HUMAN! *gasp*

 

I struggle with trying to keep up with the HSers I know in real life - they seem to be doing so much better than I am.

 

Wow. Sorry to have all that pity party here!

 

I guess I'm just agreeing with you - it is hard and you will be tired.

Eat pizza.

Have a drink.

Go for a walk.

 

Michele

ds10 dd7.5 dd5

[ereks mom]

Ive just begun my homeschooling journey and I already feel completely overwhelmed and worn out mentally from all the planning and just day day in and day out holding mine to focus. And when we take breaks (between subjects), it's no break for me as I'm doing housework or preparing school stuff for the next subject. I feel that this is 10x harder than when I worked (career) before motherhood. It's ALL day. And when the school day is over I'm still doing supper prep, etc. I'm already tired and I don't know how I can do this for 12 more years! Am I weird in feeling this way?

 

Yes, it's normal. I've been homeschooling since 1996, and I still feel that homeschooling, if you're doing it right, is HARD WORK. I work at least as hard now as I did during my career as a PS teacher. There are days when I feel completely overwhelmed, but I've mostly learned to live with the fact that the work is never done.

[Janie Grace]

Sounds normal to me! That's how I feel every day. I think it's really important to take breaks that truly refresh you. This is why we moved to year-round homeschooling. I cannot last from early Sept to Thanksgiving with no break. A week in October is my saving grace!

[JessReplanted]

It IS very, very, very hard work and mentally taxing!!

 

I think I survive through Quiet Time & early bed times! :lol:

[kb44]

:iagree:

[speedmom4]

I am beginning my 13th year and I completely agree with you. Homeschooling is such hard work. Others have stated that it gets easier as the kids get older. They are definitely more independent. In my case as my oldest got older I added more children. I find having four school aged students the most challenging it has been. Trying to juggle two high schoolers, one middle schooler, and one elementary aged child is hard.

 

I think homeschooling mothers have it especially difficult because we are also expected to keep our homes clean and food prepared because technically we are stay-at-home mothers. I view my role as not just a job but a career. I try to be as serious about homeschooling as I would any other job. That mentality has helped me not to feel as stressed but I am still usually tired by the end of each day.

 

I also agree with a pp that running has given me the stress relief and energy I need to keep going.

 

God Bless,

Elise in NC

[aliall]

We started up this week, and I have just been exhausted at the end of each day. Adding that 3rd kid into the realm of "real" school work seems to have made 5x more work. Things are going well...just wearing me out.

 

My oldest is talking about going to public school next year for 7th grade, so I am trying to enjoy it while I can (and keep it as fun and engaging as possible so she changes her mind!)