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Poll: Women Only


Does a woman feel less womanly if she does not have her uterus?  

  1. 1. Does a woman feel less womanly if she does not have her uterus?

    • Yes, a woman feels less womanly.
      1
    • No, a woman does NOT feel less womanly, regardless if her uterus is still in place.
      19
    • Yes, a woman feel less womanly if she had no choice in having her uterus removed.
      3
    • No, a woman does NOT feel less womanly when she made the choice to have her uterus removed.
      13
    • The ever present 'other' category.
      9


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I am pretty sure I could have felt womanly without mine!

 

Oh sure, I would miss the crying fits. I would miss the look of fear in my husband's eyes. I would miss the random pimples.

 

But I think I could have lived a fulfilled life without all of that.

 

 

ETA: I would have been DEVASTATED if I'd had a hysterectomy when I did not want one. But I wanted one. I would have been perfectly happy with it at that point in my life. But my heart goes out to women who have a hysterectomy and do not want one.

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So, do women feely less womanly without their uterus, as Dr. Lowe from California claims? I realize that some part of it may be the choice the woman has in her hysterectomy.

 

 

I don't think I can answer that objectively, since I've had five kids and don't plan on more. I can imagine that I would have, if I'd had to have mine earlier, before I felt "done" with childbearing, or before I was SURE. So I think timing would have the most to do with it.

 

And you know what, even then, I don't think it would be that I felt less "womanly", Dr. Lowe, darn you! I think I would mourn the fact I couldn't have borne more children, but I don't think it would make me feel like less of a woman. Regretful, but not somehow less *me*. Hmph.

 

*ahem*

 

I suppose, probably, put me in the "No" column. :001_smile:

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I think that important word is "choice".... that she has made the choice, not that it was made for her. I know in the 70's docs would take out a woman's uterus for almost any reason, not good as it does mess with your hormones. But now it seems we have gone the other way, where it's left in even if there is real discomfort. In the end, women are still not being listen to enough, and allowed to truly be in charge of their healthcare decisions.

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I'm in "the ever present other category". I'm supposed to have a hysterectomy soon. I'm waffling back and forth. I think in a way I have a feeling of being less "woman" even though I can't have more children. I can't explain why. Could it be all the media about it? Maybe. I just don't know. I know I hate the cramping that feels like I'm in transition that I get in between periods, and I hate the extra periods, and I hate the hormone issues...but somewhere inside, I'm mourning....

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Well, for me, I had emergency, life saving surgery and lost mine. My answer is yes, women feel less womanly temporarily. That's the key word, temporarily. I woke up and grieved. I felt a loss of identity because I had been pregnant or nursing off and on for years and I had to face up to who I was as a person... my identity shouldn't have been solely tied to having babies... It was time to acknowledge me as an individual. But, it was very hard. I cried when I'd see a woman very pregnant. I still have a dream once in a while that I am about to have a baby! I have always continued to feel feminine and lady-ish. But, there was that bit of time where I didn't feel as womanly...

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I think that important word is "choice".... that she has made the choice, not that it was made for her. I know in the 70's docs would take out a woman's uterus for almost any reason, not good as it does mess with your hormones. But now it seems we have gone the other way, where it's left in even if there is real discomfort. In the end, women are still not being listen to enough, and allowed to truly be in charge of their healthcare decisions.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

In women's healthcare we have not come far enough. I found it to be true in childbearing, I found it to be true in the whole fiasco with my ginormous tumor. For goodness sakes it took 20 forevers just to get an MRI and than an ultrasound to find the problem. I was living on vicodin and muscle relaxers while waiting for someone to figure out why I was in so much pain.

 

I will give Dr. Lowe credit, once I transfered to him everything; tests, surgery and all were done quick, quick, quick. His nurse said "We don't make people live with pain and fear one minute longer than we have to."

 

But still, while he was in there could he have not set me free from my monthly rollercoaster ride? I'm no spring chicken, menopause is not that far away anyway, what's the harm in shaving a couple of years off of the apparent monthly blessings?

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Well, for me, I had emergency, life saving surgery and lost mine. My answer is yes, women feel less womanly temporarily. That's the key word, temporarily. I woke up and grieved. I felt a loss of identity because I had been pregnant or nursing off and on for years and I had to face up to who I was as a person... my identity shouldn't have been solely tied to having babies... It was time to acknowledge me as an individual. But, it was very hard. I cried when I'd see a woman very pregnant. I still have a dream once in a while that I am about to have a baby! I have always continued to feel feminine and lady-ish. But, there was that bit of time where I didn't feel as womanly...

 

See, I think that is so different. I would have been devastated under those circumstances too!:grouphug:

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But still, while he was in there could he have not set me free from my monthly rollercoaster ride? I'm no spring chicken, menopause is not that far away anyway, what's the harm in shaving a couple of years off of the apparent monthly blessings?

 

Yabbut, unless he takes your ovaries, you still get the monthly lovliness, just not the mess.

 

And I'm NOT willing to give up my ovaries just yet.

 

But I feel your pain, and I'm sorry you're having such a bad month. (Get some sun, get some vitamins, go to the gym! Be good to yourself.) :grouphug:

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Well, for me, I had emergency, life saving surgery and lost mine. My answer is yes, women feel less womanly temporarily. That's the key word, temporarily. I woke up and grieved. I felt a loss of identity because I had been pregnant or nursing off and on for years and I had to face up to who I was as a person... my identity shouldn't have been solely tied to having babies... It was time to acknowledge me as an individual. But, it was very hard. I cried when I'd see a woman very pregnant. I still have a dream once in a while that I am about to have a baby! I have always continued to feel feminine and lady-ish. But, there was that bit of time where I didn't feel as womanly...

 

Did you anticipate feeling like this? Or do you feel this was this the hormonal response?

Thanks - this is a very interesting thread.

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Well, for me, I had emergency, life saving surgery and lost mine. My answer is yes, women feel less womanly temporarily. That's the key word, temporarily. I woke up and grieved. I felt a loss of identity because I had been pregnant or nursing off and on for years and I had to face up to who I was as a person... my identity shouldn't have been solely tied to having babies... It was time to acknowledge me as an individual. But, it was very hard. I cried when I'd see a woman very pregnant. I still have a dream once in a while that I am about to have a baby! I have always continued to feel feminine and lady-ish. But, there was that bit of time where I didn't feel as womanly...

 

And what you went through should be grieved. After my first miscarriage there was some question over whether I could have kids. I was deeply depressed. I needed that time to grieve over the potential loss. Thankfully, I did go on to have two beautiful girls. And I have grieved for the lost off their "perfect" health, but these things have helped me grow. I hate how we tell women how they should feel.

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I am pretty sure I could have felt womanly without mine!

 

Oh sure, I would miss the crying fits. I would miss the look of fear in my husband's eyes. I would miss the random pimples.

 

But I think I could have lived a fulfilled life without all of that.

 

 

ETA: I would have been DEVASTATED if I'd had a hysterectomy when I did not want one. But I wanted one. I would have been perfectly happy with it at that point in my life. But my heart goes out to women who have a hysterectomy and do not want one.

 

I've never had any of that - never had a crying fit (maybe as a young teen but I don't remember?), never had mood swings, made my husband scared.

 

And I still feel womanly:) As for the hysterectomy, my Mom had one, but she went on HRT right away. I wonder if that's part of it? For a long time, that helped her feel young, healthy and vibrant. Then years later she got breast cancer, and they took her off of it, and I would say that is when she felt more of a "decline." Suddenly she felt old.

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Wonderful responses and thoughts to contemplate. (BMW :grouphug: ) I think I'm feeling a bit like Kelli. I'm still young, but honestly the thought of 15-20 more years living with one-two weeks of constant pain is more than I can think about right now (never had female problems before I had children - now it's just, well, awful). Thankfully, I have a very good doctor and we are in the process of trying to relieve the pain and problems. I do have dreams of having my uterus removed though.

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Did you anticipate feeling like this? Or do you feel this was this the hormonal response?

Thanks - this is a very interesting thread.

 

This was unexpected. Honestly, I didn't want to have so many children, so close together, but I loved each one, Hormonal... yes. Having no choice or voice, difficult. But I am ever thankful that I lived through that emergency (uterus ruptured during labor) and can be a mom.

Like I said, it was temporary and there were a lot of things going on with all of this (marriage troubles).

 

Hormones - be careful ladies. You can loose most of your bone density the first couple years of menopause, particularly surgically induced. I did love one of the ovaries and the other was in shock and hasn't worked well every since... It took a lot of imbalance and I didn't recognize who I was anymore and got on hormonal replacement (creams don't work as well because it was not a natural menopause, but a surgical one). They have helped tremendously. But I feel like a 40 yr. old in a 60 yr. old body now.:glare:

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I actually feel more 'womanly' (if that's even possible) because I gained back ten years on my life with improved health. (Also it's hard to feel womanly when it's 'that time of the month" half the month!)

 

I have lost weight. I have more energy. My hormones are more in balance (not completely but a huge improvement -- and don't ask my husband if he thinks this is true!:))

 

Having said that I don't know if I really feel more "womanly" I just feel a whole lot better.

 

I did suffer from infertility, which is a whole different ball game!

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Since the uterus doesn't manufacture hormones, the only effect should be purely psychological. And I would think that would vary by the individual.

 

I understood that to be what my doctor was saying.

 

All I wanted was to keep one ovary!!! I was finished with the rest of it!

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Although I posted earlier that my hysterectomy was a positive life changing event it didn't come without mourning a loss. For me the loss was the final, final, end to any possibility of becoming pregnant after 18 years of infertility. Even though rationally there was no hope of getting pregnant there's always the thought that miracle could happen. After the surgery I grieved that loss of even that glimmer. To some extent I think there will always be a feeling of loss.

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