SJ. Posted August 5, 2012 Share Posted August 5, 2012 (edited) In the thread about different religions in a marriage PinkInTheBlue asked how people deal with family and friends when changing religious beliefs. DH and I, like PinkInTheBlue, have been in the closet so to speak about our lack of religion. DH's mother is a fundamentalist, evangelical, uber-conservative, Christian. Her oldest son is a self proclaimed atheist and this breaks her heart. When DH and I had our first child I began to look around at our local churches thinking we would start going to church because that is what you do when you have a family. Dh didn't want any part of it and after a while I admitted my lack of religious beliefs. Despite the fact that dh started our family down this path we know that MIL would blame me. We also know she would be absolutely devastated that a second son was not religious, probably can say agnostic, and that her children were being raised without religion. Once MIL had a bit too much to drink and yelled at me that dh and his other brother need to stand up and be the head of their households, that they both need to "tell their families what they WILL believe." There was other stuff said too. She didn't outright ask me anything and I didn't tell her anything either. I just sat quietly. It was upsetting and ridiculous. Our homeschooling circle also consists of very religious families. I worry that some would choose not to associate with us and would encourage their children not to be friends with my boys. This has happened to a friend of mine who is not religious, yet she does not really talk about it. We find ourselves skirting religion or just smiling and nodding along not to make waves. We also purge our bookshelves of certain books when we have visitors. It feels ridiculous that we can't just be who we are and not have to worry about causing problems in our relationships. It isn't like we would be disrespectful to anyone about their beliefs. Has anyone here changed denominations or religions and had an uncomfortable fall out with family or friends? How did you tell them? Did your relationships change? Is anyone here also hiding their religious beliefs not to upset family? If you are religious how would you feel if a close friend, family member, or one of your children changed religions? How would you feel if they hid it from you to escape conflict? SJ Edited August 5, 2012 by SJ. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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