If your 13 yob never had set chores...

[rwalizer]

and you wanted to start him on a schedule, how would you begin? Ds does chores here and there when asked, but I would like a regular schedule of room cleaning, bathroom cleaning, dog feeding, etc. We have been pretty slack on him but I think that will handicap him in the long run. But how would you start with a kid that has never had a schedule?

[crazycoffeechic]

:lurk5: I'm with you on this one, I usually do the stuff myself, he helps when I ask, but that's it, I was thinking about this very thing yesterday.

[Cindy in Indy]

I would discuss with him the importance of learning to take care of the home, which includes chores. Then I would go over the new expectations:

several simple daily chores: make bed, clean cat box, set table for supper

and 1 "major" chore per day: mow yard, clean the bathroom, vacuum one or more rooms, dust one or more rooms, mop the kitchen floor.

 

I would post the chore list where he can check it daily. Then before he gets free time, I just say, "have you checked the list? did you get all your work done?" (By the way, I put my daily chores on this list as well, so they see they're not the only one doing work!:))

 

You can gradually increase the number of chores he does during the week, but I would probably go 3 months before increasing. Another idea is to change chores after 3 months (for example, after he masters mopping the floor, you might trade that in for doing the supper dishes). This gives him some variety and teaches him to master all the various aspects of home care. His wife will thank you some day!

 

It goes without saying that you have to teach him how to do the chores: 1st time he watches you while you do the chore and explain, 2nd time he does the chore while you watch (and make corrections, if needed). 3rd time he calls you for inspection after doing the chore. This takes some time at first, but is really worth it when they can work independently. And if one person is assigned to "dust the family room", and I find cobwebs in the corner, I know who to hold accountable (just "check the list").

 

I have done this with my kids and it's working well. Checking "the list" is the key. I don't have to remember what everyone is supposed to do.

 

Summer is a great time to begin this project!

HTH,

Cindy

[Pamela H in Texas]

We did what Cindy did (though my kids did extensive chores from toddlerhood; we just didn't use a chart until they were preteens). The chart helps a lot. My lists are in the other 13yo ds chore thread if you'd like to take a look.

 

Just tell him that you need more help around the house and as part of the family, you'll expect and enjoy his help. Then give him a list and have him check it til he knows it (and once in a blue moon when he's fallen short).

 

HTHs,