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My camping trip is ruined.

Canadianmumof5
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Canadianmumof5

Canadianmumof5

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We are supposed to be leaving for our annual camping trip in less than 24 hours. I can't get into all the details but suffice it to say that the trip has been ruined for me and I am now staying home with Chunky.

 

I am so angry & upset. I barely slept last night (couldn't believe the # of people on the Hive at 4am!!!!) and am trying not to let the kids see how upset I am. I am not normally one to cry but these pregnancy hormones are kicking in big time and I've been hiding out in the garage, bathroom and laundry room in tears.

 

I just don't understand how inconsiderate certain people can be. And why other people can't see it and do what is right.

 

Sorry for being so cryptic. Off to hide out in the laundry room for a few minutes :crying:

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Mommyfaithe

Mommyfaithe

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:grouphug::grouphug:

By other "people". I am hoping you don't mean dh.....

 

Sorry you are having such a rough time....and yes, people can suck....but instead of hiding out....stand your ground....say what you have to say....and be as blunt as possible. Some people do not pick up on any cues and then can't understand why YOU fly off the handle. :glare: It took me 40 years to realize this....

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wintermom

wintermom

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If dh isn't the problem can your family still go camping somewhere else?

 

:grouphug:

 

My thoughts, too. What a disappointment to you and the dc. If you can't get out of town, could you camp in the backyard? Picnic somewhere? Do SOMETHING fun and different?

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Canadianmumof5

Canadianmumof5

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Thanks for all the hugs.

This camping fiasco is just the latest thing in some on-going IL drama. And unfortunately, DH doesn't see why I am so upset; plus he doesn't think it is smart for me to be camping when i am 7 months pregnant anyway (although we knew this when it was booked!!) so this just isn't that big a deal for him.

 

Anyway, i shouldn't say much more - don't want to get banned.

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TammyS

TammyS

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be as blunt as possible. Some people do not pick up on any cues and then can't understand why YOU fly off the handle. :glare:

 

I completely agree about being as blunt as possible.

 

Personally, I HATE when people want you to "pick up on cues". It's so passive aggressive. We have a language, with words, that mean things. It is so unfair and cowardly to "send cues or signals" and expect other people to be mind readers.

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TammyS

TammyS

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Thanks for all the hugs.

This camping fiasco is just the latest thing in some on-going IL drama. And unfortunately, DH doesn't see why I am so upset; plus he doesn't think it is smart for me to be camping when i am 7 months pregnant anyway (although we knew this when it was booked!!) so this just isn't that big a deal for him.

 

Anyway, i shouldn't say much more - don't want to get banned.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

Maybe you and your dh could take your kids and do something else? Book a hotel with a pool or something? Just a little get away? Maybe tell him that he's right, you shouldn't be camping, and you want to go to this other place instead? (ideally without the ILs)

 

And I don't think you have to worry about getting banned for venting about your IL drama here.

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momofkhm

momofkhm

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plus he doesn't think it is smart for me to be camping when i am 7 months pregnant anyway (although we knew this when it was booked!!) so this just isn't that big a deal for him.

 

So it's not ok to go camping but you can stay home alone with a 2 yo??

 

Sorry it's ruined for you! I hope it's something you can work through!

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Mrs Mungo

Mrs Mungo

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Maybe you and your dh could take your kids and do something else? Book a hotel with a pool or something? Just a little get away? Maybe tell him that he's right, you shouldn't be camping, and you want to go to this other place instead? (ideally without the ILs)

 

Agree. Even if he was right and camping was not a good idea (I've traveled and been camping while 7 and 8 months pregnant, for the record)? That means you have to stay home with the two year old while everyone else goes to have fun? Oh, H3LL NO!! Be more assertive about your wishes.

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Mommyfaithe

Mommyfaithe

Posted
Posted
Agree. Even if he was right and camping was not a good idea (I've traveled and been camping while 7 and 8 months pregnant, for the record)? That means you have to stay home with the two year old while everyone else goes to have fun? Oh, H3LL NO!! Be more assertive about your wishes.

 

:iagree::iagree:

Or....if you can hire a baby sitter....go for a massage....get together with some friends and go to a movie and dinner. I would be making some really fun plans.

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justLisa

justLisa

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Agree. Even if he was right and camping was not a good idea (I've traveled and been camping while 7 and 8 months pregnant, for the record)? That means you have to stay home with the two year old while everyone else goes to have fun? Oh, H3LL NO!! Be more assertive about your wishes.

 

I don't like camping, but yeah this was my thought exactly.

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TammyS

TammyS

Posted
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you have to stay home with the two year old while everyone else goes to have fun?

 

OMG! Wait, I somehow missed that you are being left with the two year old. No, uh-uh, no way. That's just selfish and mean to do at all, let alone a woman in her 3rd trimester. He takes the two year old. He wants you to stay behind - TELL him, don't ask, that the two year old is going with him.

 

I might even make myself not be at the house when they leave to make sure he can't leave him behind. Failing that, I would have compunction about letting the air out of all the tires. I would not hide my misery in the laundry room so that everyone else can go have fun.

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melissel

melissel

Posted
Posted
Agree. Even if he was right and camping was not a good idea (I've traveled and been camping while 7 and 8 months pregnant, for the record)? That means you have to stay home with the two year old while everyone else goes to have fun? Oh, H3LL NO!! Be more assertive about your wishes.

 

OMG! Wait, I somehow missed that you are being left with the two year old. No, uh-uh, no way. That's just selfish and mean to do at all, let alone a woman in her 3rd trimester. He takes the two year old. He wants you to stay behind - TELL him, don't ask, that the two year old is going with him.

 

I might even make myself not be at the house when they leave to make sure he can't leave him behind. Failing that, I would have compunction about letting the air out of all the tires. I would not hide my misery in the laundry room so that everyone else can go have fun.

 

:iagree: If what I suspect happened is what actually happened, then I would be LIVID if my DH went anywhere without me, especially given his reasoning about your pregnant state. I would make it a Very Big Deal.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I'm sorry, mama.

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Caitilin

Caitilin

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:iagree: If what I suspect happened is what actually happened, then I would be LIVID if my DH went anywhere without me, especially given his reasoning about your pregnant state. I would make it a Very Big Deal.

 

:grouphug:: I'm sorry, mama.

 

:iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

 

Not respecting your feelings--at any time but especially while very pregnant--IS and SHOULD BE a very big deal. I think you should hold the line on this one. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

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Kelly1730

Kelly1730

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:iagree::iagree:

Or....if you can hire a baby sitter....go for a massage....get together with some friends and go to a movie and dinner. I would be making some really fun plans.

 

I don't know that I would feel comfortable with my dh taking a two yo on a camping trip ( I know, I have issues:) but I totally agree with hiring a sitter and making some fun plans. :grouphug:

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DianeW88

DianeW88

Posted
Posted
Agree. Even if he was right and camping was not a good idea (I've traveled and been camping while 7 and 8 months pregnant, for the record)? That means you have to stay home with the two year old while everyone else goes to have fun? Oh, H3LL NO!! Be more assertive about your wishes.

 

:iagree: Don't let others dictate what you're going to do. Do what you want and inform the ILs how things are going to be. :D

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sourpatchbaby

sourpatchbaby

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Go somewhere else. He wants to be a poopyhead about the way the ILs act and treat you like a second class citizen then you can just find a nice hotel and let him see that you don't need him to enjoy yourself. Geez, what better confirmation to the IL's that they are right and you are wrong (and I don't know your history with them) than having your husband basically agree with them and leave you out in the cold. Way to go husband (not!)

 

And FTR, if I can climb this thing while eight months pregnant (and I'm so out of shape it's not funny) you can go camping.kokoheadtrail.jpg

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Cassy

Cassy

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I hope you find a way to resolve this because you're going to sit and fester the entire time they are gone and things are going to be very strained when they return. :grouphug::grouphug:

 

:iagree: Yes, I've done this, and it took quite sometime, and a lot of love and attention on the part of my DH, before I got back to normal.

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Catwoman

Catwoman

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Posted
Agree. Even if he was right and camping was not a good idea (I've traveled and been camping while 7 and 8 months pregnant, for the record)? That means you have to stay home with the two year old while everyone else goes to have fun? Oh, H3LL NO!! Be more assertive about your wishes.

 

:iagree: x 1000.

 

If you're "too pregnant" to go camping, you're also too pregnant to take care of a 2yo by yourself. Clearly, you need to be in a spa where you can be pampered. Your dh will have to deal with all of the kids.

 

I say this because the only possible reason a good husband would ever possibly consider leaving his pregnant wife at home while he went off on a fun vacation is because he wanted to give her some time alone so she could relax and enjoy herself, right???

 

Get tough, Mama.

 

Get out of that laundry room and stand up for your rights!!!

 

Tell your dh and your ILs what you really think about all of this, and get your own way. You deserve a vacation as much as anyone else!!!

 

Oh, and no matter what happens, two days into the camping trip, you're going to call him from the spa and tell him you're in labor, right? And after he races to the hospital and finds you're not there, well, whoops... it turned out that it was just indigestion... and you tried to call him but that darned unreliable cell phone service didn't put the calls through... ;)

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Mommyfaithe

Mommyfaithe

Posted
Posted
:

 

 

 

Oh, and no matter what happens, two days into the camping trip, you're going to call him from the spa and tell him you're in labor, right? And after he races to the hospital and finds you're not there, well, whoops... it turned out that it was just indigestion... and you tried to call him but that darned unreliable cell phone service didn't put the calls through... ;)

 

:iagree::iagree:

Now is not the time to play nicey, nicey! I would just let him have it.....tell the in laws to flip off.....and tell dh it is all of you go, or all stay home....oh, go get that massage anyway.....and don't let them make you feel bad. They are the WRONG ones here!

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Catwoman

Catwoman

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Now is not the time to play nicey, nicey! I would just let him have it.....tell the in laws to flip off.....and tell dh it is all of you go, or all stay home....oh, go get that massage anyway.....and don't let them make you feel bad. They are the WRONG ones here!

 

:iagree:

 

I wasn't going to post this, but I decided to do it anyway. (Hey, I'm like that. :tongue_smilie:)

 

If my dh ever pulled a stunt like your dh is pulling, he would be informed that if he didn't man up and do the right thing, he wouldn't have a wife to come home to.

 

And he would know I wasn't kidding.

 

I think it's so important to put your foot down and not tolerate disrespectful or inconsiderate behavior, because every time you let it go, you're encouraging more of the same in the future.

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A.Balaban

A.Balaban

Posted
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:iagree:

 

I wasn't going to post this, but I decided to do it anyway. (Hey, I'm like that. :tongue_smilie:)

 

If my dh ever pulled a stunt like your dh is pulling, he would be informed that if he didn't man up and do the right thing, he wouldn't have a wife to come home to.

 

And he would know I wasn't kidding.

 

I think it's so important to put your foot down and not tolerate disrespectful or inconsiderate behavior, because every time you let it go, you're encouraging more of the same in the future.

 

 

:iagree::iagree:

 

And mama, :grouphug::grouphug:

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Ghee

Ghee

Posted
Posted
:grouphug::grouphug:

By other "people". I am hoping you don't mean dh.....

 

Sorry you are having such a rough time....and yes, people can suck....but instead of hiding out....stand your ground....say what you have to say....and be as blunt as possible. Some people do not pick up on any cues and then can't understand why YOU fly off the handle. :glare: It took me 40 years to realize this....

 

:iagree:

 

Agree. Even if he was right and camping was not a good idea (I've traveled and been camping while 7 and 8 months pregnant, for the record)? That means you have to stay home with the two year old while everyone else goes to have fun? Oh, H3LL NO!! Be more assertive about your wishes.

 

Yup. Tell him you don't want to stay home, then say "I think you are right about camping, we should get a hotel room somewhere."

 

OMG! Wait, I somehow missed that you are being left with the two year old. No, uh-uh, no way. That's just selfish and mean to do at all, let alone a woman in her 3rd trimester. He takes the two year old. He wants you to stay behind - TELL him, don't ask, that the two year old is going with him.

 

I might even make myself not be at the house when they leave to make sure he can't leave him behind. Failing that, I would have compunction about letting the air out of all the tires. I would not hide my misery in the laundry room so that everyone else can go have fun.

 

:lol:

 

:grouphug: BTDT DH let one of his family members rain ALL OVER our Disney vacation last year. I don't even get out the photopass CDs and look at the pictures. It was THAT miserable. When we got home I told him never, ever, again!

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Chris in VA

Chris in VA

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Posted
Agree. Even if he was right and camping was not a good idea (I've traveled and been camping while 7 and 8 months pregnant, for the record)? That means you have to stay home with the two year old while everyone else goes to have fun? Oh, H3LL NO!! Be more assertive about your wishes.

 

I just want to say that I love Mrs. Mungo. :D

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Canadianmumof5

Canadianmumof5

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Just checking back in to see how you are....

 

:grouphug:

 

Aw thanks. It was not a fun day. You would think DH would know how to handle my pregnant self by baby #5!

 

I'm not sure that it is fully resolved at this point but DH has a lot more clarity now. (thanks Catwoman!!!). His response was that we all go together or we all stay home. The kids were not happy to stay home obviously. So we are ALL going to go. And DH will handle the IL situation.

 

Thanks for all of your hugs, encouragement and advice.

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jewellsmommy

jewellsmommy

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Posted
Aw thanks. It was not a fun day. You would think DH would know how to handle my pregnant self by baby #5!

 

I'm not sure that it is fully resolved at this point but DH has a lot more clarity now. (thanks Catwoman!!!). His response was that we all go together or we all stay home. The kids were not happy to stay home obviously. So we are ALL going to go. And DH will handle the IL situation.

 

Thanks for all of your hugs, encouragement and advice.

 

:party:

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Mommyfaithe

Mommyfaithe

Posted
Posted
Probably because she didn't really bash her husband -- the rest of us did ;)

 

I'm so glad it worked out for you, OP! ILs can really stink!

 

In-law bashing is A-ok! :D

 

Yay! Have fun on your trip. Practice your glare if anyone gives you a hard time. :glare: Make sure someone helps with your 2 year old......

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