Chris in VA Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 What do you do when two of your friends, who know each other but aren't remotely close, get into a "fight?" I'm talking adult women, so the only punches thrown are verbal (actually written, but that's another story). It has to do with differing beliefs and the expression of those beliefs. I hate when my friends are not friends with each other! Both are kind, can be sweet, have many redeeming qualities. Both really care about other people, and both would give their right arm for their families and friends. Both go to my church. They disagree on something controversial, and there is no human way they are ever going to agree. It's something one of them holds very, very dear--the other holds the opposite principle dear. It's so uncomfortable to me to know there are people in my church who are mad/upset with each other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kristi26 Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 :grouphug: Hopefully it will be over soon! As for what I would do, I would try to stay as uninvolved as humanly possible. There is nothing you can say or do to make them like each other, so in the interest of maintaining both friendships, I would try to stay out of it. If they try to bring it up to you, just tell them that you love them both and want to be friends with both and so you can't discuss the situation. Good luck!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blueridge Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 I might be inspired to write both of them a short, handwritten note, with an appropriate verse of peace, such as: ' 2 Corinthians 13:11**Finally, brothers, rejoice. Aim for restoration, comfort one another,agree with one another, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you. ' We all will disagree with others from time to time, (and sometimes the best we can do is to agree to disagree), but as Christians, we should always do our best to pursue peace. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zebra Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 Stay uninvolved and refuse to discuss it with either one of them. You can be kind about it, but I would just tell them that they are going to need to agree to disagree and that you really need to stay out of it for your own sanity. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 Chris I'm so sorry. It really makes things uncomfortable for you. Since they aren't going to agree it would be nice if they could be polite. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 Stay uninvolved and refuse to discuss it with either one of them. You can be kind about it, but I would just tell them that they are going to need to agree to disagree and that you really need to stay out of it for your own sanity. :grouphug: This is what I would do. I'm not good with "getting involved." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 Oh, wow, I've never had that happen to me. If it did, I would probably just stay out of it. I mean, it's not junior high, surely they don't expect you to take sides...do they? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 I agree with everyone who said you should stay out of the middle. It's their fight, not yours, and if you get involved, one or both of them will end up angry with you, and you'll be the one who ends up losing friends. I know you want to fix things and make everyone get along, but some people just will not be able to get along, no matter what you do. Don't get involved, and don't discuss the "topic of dispute" with either of them. At all. Or it will come back to bite you. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 I'd ignore it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 As for what I would do, I would try to stay as uninvolved as humanly possible. There is nothing you can say or do to make them like each other, so in the interest of maintaining both friendships, I would try to stay out of it. If they try to bring it up to you, just tell them that you love them both and want to be friends with both and so you can't discuss the situation. Good luck!! :iagree: If their disagreement has nothing to do with you, then you have no place in it. I know it is hard, though! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ccmom Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 I agree with staying uninvolved! If they aren't friends, it's not your problem. If their values and beliefs are different, so be it. Just be a friend to each of them and don't allow yourself to talk about the other person with either of them. Eventually things will settle and if they don't remain friends, it's not a big deal. I have a friend who has some friends who have nothing in common with me. She is still my friend and doesn't expect me to be friends with all of her friends; that would be unreasonable, wouldn't it? Just don't make it a big deal and don't fall into the gossip trap!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walking-Iris Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 My mantra is "We all can't be soulmates." :lol: As much as it would be nice for your two friends to like each other and get along and you all can be a big happy bunch, it's just not always reasonable (even in a church or any other group environment) for everybody to like everybody else. I would just stay out of it. If one of them starts talking about the argument just smoothly change the subject. If they both are driving you crazy talking about it and possibly each other then just lay low from them both for awhile. Things usually blow over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyS Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 I agree with everyone who said to stay out of it. If pushed, or if you just feel that you must say something, I would suggest to either or both of them, that neither of these two things are requisite, and so maybe they don't actually need to fight at all : 1. to agree with another person on everything to be friends with them 2. to be MAD at someone because they hold a differing view (you can, in fact, think someone has a crazy opinion about something and still like them, or at least not be angry with them because of it) You also have an opportunity here to learn something about each of these women. That something is that you can learn how much they can handle being disagreed with. It might give you some insight as to how much you want to trust them with information of your own (because you could be on the receiving end of this later, if you tell them something they don't like). :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MindyD Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 As everyone else has said, try to stay uninvolved. I was in a somewhat similar situation, and didn't realize how deep the feelings went for one person. I lost my best friend over a lunch invite. Seriously. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 My mantra is "We all can't be soulmates." :lol: As much as it would be nice for your two friends to like each other and get along and you all can be a big happy bunch, it's just not always reasonable (even in a church or any other group environment) for everybody to like everybody else. I would just stay out of it. I agree! Myself and 3 other ladies were very close. Long story short myself and another lady are not anymore. I've tried talking to the other lady but we are just not a good match as our needs, values etc are different. After a year of trying to just get along(and in the meantime being extremely hurt and stressed that whole time) and ignore it I've dropped out of group events. I just got a call 2 days ago from one friend about this. Trying to convince me in a way to just pretend like things were fine and that it was messing up the group friendship. It was extremely offensive to put it mildly. On my end there isn't a good way to discuss it without either gossiping or being upset. Please leave it alone, offer some prayers. We don't all have to be close friends and there are different seasons in life. We can love each other in Christ without being Bff's. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 My mantra is "We all can't be soulmates." :lol: Mine is, "You can't save 'em all, Hasselhoff." * It doesn't really apply here, but I've always wanted to post it. Job done. *Rodney the guinea pig, aka Chris Rock, in Doctor Dolittle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 Mine is, "You can't save 'em all, Hasselhoff." * It doesn't really apply here, but I've always wanted to post it. Job done. *Rodney the guinea pig, aka Chris Rock, in Doctor Dolittle. :lol: You must have quite a list because you have been able to post several of these lately and I am loving them! OP: Don't get in the middle. If they try and put you there, let them know it is between them. Hopefully, that is not the case. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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