FaithManor Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 The groom would like his own groom's cake - carrot cake with buttercream frosting and two cartoon character figurines on top...something to do with nicknames they've had for each other. No problem...Mr. Comedian my indulge himself. Otherwise, he does not care a lick about cake. DD cannot stand cake. Seriously, if the only dessert in the entire world is cake, she's going dessertless. She LOVES pie and in particular berry pie. So, she'd like to have some pie stands and berry pies, cherry pie, lemon merangue, and chocolate pie. She also likes the fact that she has expert pie baking relatives who have volunteered to make pies and so she won't have to take a decorated cake out of her budget. Thoughts....as a guest, would you be offended to not have traditional wedding cake? Oh, there will be a few children...all of four...at the wedding and she's asked my sister, who does many excellent things with icing, to create a dozen decorated cupcakes for the kiddoes. We'll put those out on my glass cake stand. I have zero problem with this. I will say that my ultra traditional mil seems to think it's bizarre and offensive. My mother, also rather traditional, says "She should have what she wants!" (My mother may be slightly jaded because her future mil interfered so intensely with my parents' wedding that mom did not have one single thing the way she wanted it! This was done to make sure my mom's wedding was not as nice as my paternal aunt's wedding coming up one month later) I'm okay with it, but just wanted to think of what potential wedding guests might think. Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 I think it's a great idea! I personally like cake, but it's her wedding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in NH Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 I think it's lovely. She should get to have her pie and eat it too! You may want to keep those cupcakes off to the side so adult guests don't help themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oasis Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 I think the bride and groom should get to choose! If I attended a wedding where pie was the only option, I would probably just skip the pie. It'd be no big deal - I could go buy my own cake after the wedding if I needed it that badly. :D If it were my own wedding, though, and I was the one who didn't like cake, I would choose to still have cake for all the guests, and just have a pie for myself. Maybe I'm too traditional; I'd really miss the pictures of the beautifully frosted cake, and cutting it with the groom, etc. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjgrubbs Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 I say have what you want! However, if you include cupcakes reminder that many adults also enjoy cupcakes and may choose that over pie. If you only have 12 there may not be enough! Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 I think I don't care one way or the other as long as there is dessert. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 I think the bride and groom should get to choose! … :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LinRTX Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 I love the pie idea. It is her wedding. However, I think I would make more than 12 cupcakes. Some adults may want cake. Is there anyway to arrange the pies so that they spiral around (like a mountain thing) with one top and center. The traditional cake top could sit on the top center pie and it would be a wedding pie. Linda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 I am very traditional and as a guest, I would not be offended in the least! From a planner's point of view, I think pie would be a nightmare. From a bride's point of view, I would definitely do what SHE wants. I wanted carrot cake for my wedding and everyone said that it needed to be the smallest cake since no one likes carrot cake. Come wedding day, my planner wouldn't cut it, said that I wasn't thinking straight, and I would regret it if I didn't have the little cake on our year anniversary. Said cake was frozen and disgusting a year later. :glare: Give the bride what she wants! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMamaBird Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 I love pie too so I'd be tickled if they served pie. I'd be even more excited if there were ice cream to go along :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ksr5377 Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 I think it's fine to just have pie! I also don't think you need to have other dessert options. Most weddings I go to only offer cake as a dessert. It would be nice if you had a variety of pie flavors though, maybe creams and fruits? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted August 2, 2012 Author Share Posted August 2, 2012 I am very traditional and as a guest, I would not be offended in the least! From a planner's point of view, I think pie would be a nightmare. From a bride's point of view, I would definitely do what SHE wants. I wanted carrot cake for my wedding and everyone said that it needed to be the smallest cake since no one likes carrot cake. Come wedding day, my planner wouldn't cut it, said that I wasn't thinking straight, and I would regret it if I didn't have the little cake on our year anniversary. Said cake was frozen and disgusting a year later. :glare: Give the bride what she wants! I'm sorry to hear that your wedding planner was a putz. I'm doing the wedding planning so as long as we don't seem to offend Miss Manners/Emily Post toooo much, I think the bride and groom will get their wishes. I didnt' think about the fact that the cupcakes might be prized by more than children. There will only be 80 guests including the bridal party - his family is very small and dd doesn't like big crowds so they agreed to keep it to an intimate gathering. Maybe we'll have to make four or five dozen. Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 I think they can do whatever they want! I do think it could be cute to have a display of assorted mini-pies and cupcakes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyS Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 I would be fine with adding pie, even many pies, to suit your daughter - but, I tend to hold to the old-fashioned view that the reception is not, in fact, for the couple, but for the guests who have come to their wedding. When you host, you consider your guests first, particularly in a wedding where people may have spent money on travel and clothes. I would have a cake. DD doesn't have to eat more than a ceremonial bite, and she doesn't have to like it, but she really should have it, IMO. After that, she can gorge herself on pie if she wants to. Would I be wildly offended as a guest? No. But I would think that it wasn't very considerate of her guests. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissel Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 I would be fine with adding pie, even many pies, to suit your daughter - but, I tend to hold to the old-fashioned view that the reception is not, in fact, for the couple, but for the guests who have come to their wedding. When you host, you consider your guests first, particularly in a wedding where people may have spent money on travel and clothes. I would have a cake. DD doesn't have to eat more than a ceremonial bite, and she doesn't have to like it, but she really should have it, IMO. After that, she can gorge herself on pie if she wants to. Would I be wildly offended as a guest? No. But I would think that it wasn't very considerate of her guests. I sort of agree, but if the bride likes pie, then I would say that what she and the groom cut should be the pie! I think the cake should be there for the guests to eat, but the pie can still be the focus. If there was no cake at a reception I attended, I certainly would note be offended. I might be a little sad, though, because I love cake :D If you make enough cupcakes, that would probably do the job too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VeritasMama Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 I would not be offended, but I do enjoy wedding cake. I enjoy traditions, but I think if it were me I would include cupcakes or cakes just to be accomodating to my guests. I think your daughter and son in law should have what they like, but they should also be worried about their guests. Weddings are not just about celebrating the bride and groom, it is also about hosting your friends and family for that celebration. Hospitality is an important element, so I would include deserts I think the guests would enjoy. At my wedding, we had a desert served with dinner, I think it was some kind of pie or cobbler, and then we had wedding cake served later on in the night. We also had mints and cookies set out at a table. I figured that way everyone's sweet tooth was covered. Congrats on the wedding, I hope it's a blast! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momto3innc Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 I think it's a great idea. I really don't like cake either and would prefer pies. Actually, I would prefer cookies...but that's another story. I think a variety of pies would be super fun. Why does every reception have to be the same? Cupcakes are fun too. I think the idea of a dessert "bar" with pies, cupcakes, etc... is super fun. Go for it! And not paying for the cake....awesome! I really don't see how this would offend anyone. I would never be going to a reception for the cake (or other dessert for that matter). It's all about supporting the bride and groom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annlaura Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 This is what my brother and SIL did for their wedding. It was perfectly lovely. I think everyone enjoyed. They had a variety of pies. And IIRC, my brother made his own groom's cake. But maybe my sister made it. Anyway, a few people had cake, but mainly people chose pie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chepyl Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 My sister hates cake, too. They had a cheese cake bar. It was wine glasses of cheese cake and all the topping you could imagine to put on it. My kids loved it. They did not miss the cake one bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freesia Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 I think it's fine. I don't like cake either, though.:001_smile: As an aside, I did have a wedding cake. I went alone to the appt to order it. I think the baker thought I was the oddest bride. I had to assure her that no, I really didn't care what the flavor was, my fiance only cared about having those posts to hold up the layers and I liked flowers but didn't care what it looked like. You should have seen her face! (I did taste the cake and it was the best cake I have ever tasted. The relaxed approach worked much better than some of the details I fussed over that didn't turn out as well.:D) Pie is messy to serve but with only 80 people it should be fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 Neither I nor my husband like cake very much. We had pies at our wedding 12 years ago. The caterer did a variety of excellent pies. I think we had berry, apple and strawberry-rhubarb. We did a “pie-cutting” instead of the cake cutting. We did not have another dessert. From a logistics standpoint, we had a very big wedding (about 250 people). The pie was no problem. We had pies out on the table as decoration. We cut those like people do the normal cake cutting and then the caterer brought out plates with slices of pre-cut pie. I really don’t remember it being messy. To be honest, I never really worried about whether or not people would find it offensive. I agree that the wedding is not just about the bride and groom. We did a lot of things to make our families happy and we tried to throw a great party to thank our family and friends for loving us and supporting us. But I never thought people would walk away thinking “Hey, great wedding. Good food. Too bad there wasn’t cake.” Twelve years later one of the things people still talk about is how we had pie instead of cake. Everyone remarks positively and many people comment that it was one of the things they loved the most and that they still remember because it was different. So I say go for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovinmomma Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 My sister had lots of different cheesecakes instead of cake at her wedding. I loved it. Thought it was a great idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 As an aside, I did have a wedding cake. I went alone to the appt to order it. I think the baker thought I was the oddest bride. I had to assure her that no, I really didn't care what the flavor was, my fiance only cared about having those posts to hold up the layers and I liked flowers but didn't care what it looked like. You should have seen her face! (I did taste the cake and it was the best cake I have ever tasted. The relaxed approach worked much better than some of the details I fussed over that didn't turn out as well.:D) :iagree: I was is residency during the wedding planning and so turned over a lot of the details to other people, including my now dh. I had the same experience when I went to order my bouquet. I gave them very general guidelines and then just said “I trust you, you’re the florist.†I think they didn’t know what to do with a relaxed bride. The things we were relaxed about turned out fantastic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sasharowan Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 My sister had pies at her wedding and in a smaller side dish had little cakes, like tea cakes for those who wanted cake. I think some cupcakes plus the carrot cake would be fine!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yslek Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 One of my cousins had pie instead of cake. All of the women from her church chipped in and made pies. There were so many of them, homemade, delicious... Cousing & her dh had a special pie they cut. It was perfect! My sister & her dh had donuts at their wedding. They were arranged on a tiered platter, and she & her dh had a specially decorated donut that they shared. Oh, and BIL & his wife had cobbler! Really, I've heard so many people complain about how they don't like the taste of wedding cake, it seems silly to insist upon having it. All three weddings above had lots of compliments on the choice of "cake". :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Marple Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 LOL! Traditional seems to be out these days. Just check Pinterest and see all the possiblities. Ds1 was married at our home in June. We went non-traditional and had pies, cupcakes, scones, veggies/dip, finger sandwiches, a coffee bar, lemonade, tea, and bottled water, and even a container of red and yellow gum balls. It was a hit! People loved it. And most people I know (myself included) only eat traditional wedding cake because that's all there is. I'm a dessert person, but I like really good dessert (homemade), and I have only had a few wedding cakes that were worth the calories :) If I'm going to indulge, I want it to be GOOD! We ran out of scones and cupcakes but had plenty of pie. The scones and cupcakes were more of a filler - although I made 7 dozen scones and 12 dozen cupcakes. We had about 200 guests. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JR the hs dad Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 Sounds like our wedding! We had a small carrot cake with several varieties of pie. It was fun, it was different, and I wish I could have sampled more of the pies! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissel Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 Does anyone else really, REALLY want cake and/or cheesecake right now? *sigh* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
higginszoo Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 This is a trend that I'm hearing of more and more. It's their day, if they want another dessert other than cake, I don't see a problem with it (especially since there will be some kind of cake for the purists). A friend's brother got married this spring and she and her mom (who did most of the decor, with the bride's input) found an eclectic collection of pie stands at Salvation Army, Goodwill, yard sales, etc. ... then they asked various close relatives to make and bring a pie or two. The effect for a wedding with a country picnic theme was adorable, and the guests had a wide variety of pies to choose from. My friend did end up buying a small, more traditional cake for cutting/show/purists (she got a great deal at the Wal-Mart bakery, and it was a very pretty cake, simple, but that fit the event). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nukeswife Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 (edited) The only thing I would worry about with the pies would be ones that could stain. Blueberry comes to mind. I might steer clear of those, but otherwise do what they want, it's their wedding. My BIL and SIL had a basic picnic for their reception. Rolls with either deli ham or turkey to make your own sandwich, potato and pasta salad. I'm not a huge fan so I just didn't eat much. They did have cake but never had the official cake cutting, for some reason all the cake was pre cut into slices. It was also the most dry, tasteless cake ever, but oh well. I still had a great time because I was there to celebrate with them not just for the food, and when dh and I went to drop the kids off with cousins so we could enjoy more of the reception (we only had the older 2 and they were only 3 years and 6 months old at the time) we buzzed through a drive through to grab a quick bite. Almost forgot to add I went a wedding recently where they bride and groom both disliked cake so they had a tower of donuts instead. Everyone loved it! Edited August 2, 2012 by nukeswife Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 The last wedding we attended had cupcakes, it was a nice change. I think pies would make it more accommodating for people with food allergies. It's easier to make a few GF pies than worry about an entire cake. I like the idea of weddings becoming more personalized, as long as they remember to think of the needs of their guests. We did a few traditional things that really held no meaning for us, but only did them because of tradition. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXSusan Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 At the wedding of my nephew and his lovely bride they served individual mini-pies in 3 or 4 flavors. They were delicious, and were a big hit. The mini-pies make for less mess as they don't need to be cut. Mini-pies, cupcakes and carrot cake would make for plenty of desserts and surely everyone would find a dessert to enjoy. Susan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 Thoughts....as a guest, would you be offended to not have traditional wedding cake? Faith I would not care a bit. I don't attend to eat myself into a sugar coma and as long as there is a nice choice of tidbits and cold (if it's during summer heat) non-alcoholic drinks, I'd be ever so happy as a guest and wish the young couples every imaginable blessing! Just to clarify: I don't mind toasting the couple with some good wine but some events are short on non-alcoholic beverage choices which I find regrettable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMD Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 I think it's a lovely idea. I'd be impressed and excited as a guest! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted August 2, 2012 Author Share Posted August 2, 2012 I would not care a bit. I don't attend to eat myself into a sugar coma and as long as there is a nice choice of tidbits and cold (if it's during summer heat) non-alcoholic drinks, I'd be ever so happy as a guest and wish the young couples every imaginable blessing! Just to clarify: I don't mind toasting the couple with some good wine but some events are short on non-alcoholic beverage choices which I find regrettable. Dd is a "one glass of wine a month" type person and so is her dh. DD as a medic has tended so many drunks, binge drinking college students, etc. that she is not willing to risk having ANY alcohol at her wedding. "I'm not paying for someone to get obnoxious or throw up around the place!" So, no alcohol. Lemonade, sparkling rhasberry non-alcoholic from St. Julian, water, coffee, and maybe a type of punch. The only thing dd was worried about was her favorite berry pie staining her dress. We've decided to make a mini - berry tart that she can just pop into her mouth...one bite. They are thinking that they'll cut the crazy groom's cake and "feed" each other a bite so the more traditional guests won't feel slighted, but otherwise focus on those mini-tarts. I think this will be a good compromise. Since everyone has recommended more cupcakes, we'll do a nice cupcake tree. My sister will probably decorate them very prettily anyway so we may as well provide enough for one per guest and couple per child. Thanks for all of the good stories and advice. While dh and I are of the opinion that a wedding is, well, not the end all and be all of life and at the end of the day the important thing is to just be married, we do want to host a beautiful, memorable occasion for them...just on a budget! :001_smile: Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen in NS Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 Thoughts....as a guest, would you be offended to not have traditional wedding cake? No. I'd feel honoured to have been invited to the wedding; therefore, I'd be happy for whatever you fed me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonersl Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 I think it's lovely. She should get to have her pie and eat it too! You may want to keep those cupcakes off to the side so adult guests don't help themselves. :iagree: Happy Wedding! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 My sister hates cake too! Her dh had a groom cake because it was important to him. Then, they did cheesecakes for their official dessert. Everyone got three different types on their plate. They did, however, have a very small cake made up as their "official" wedding cake so they could do the "cut the cake" tradition. My brother and his fiance are doing cupcakes next year! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nono Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 I love pie. I'll be waiting patiently for my invitation in the mail. :tongue_smilie: P.S. I love alcohol too, but you know what I love more: plain old non-sweetened tea. Goes GREAT with pie. Just sayin'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 I think do what the bride wants. (Btw, I've eaten more than enough dry/too sweet wedding cakes:tongue_smilie:.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 If ppl get offended over pie, they need a hobby, or a good, swift kick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyJoy Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 My best friend's otherwise traditional wedding had rose-shaped brownies dusted with powdered sugar. Guess who got to make 180 of them in batches of 6 because she only bought one mold?!?:001_huh::glare: Yeah, she was a bit too much of a quirky artist type to be planning a wedding alone. The guests thought it was great. I say serve pie (unless one unlucky maid-of-honor is stuck making them all!:tongue_smilie:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 I think pie is a great idea! We've starting making pies for some family members' birthdays who prefer pie to cake. I went to a wedding in the last few years that had cupcakes and an ice cream bar. I thought it was very cool! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 If ppl get offended over pie, they need a hobby, or a good, swift kick. :iagree: what she said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy in FL. Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 It's their day. I say let them eat pie! (And groom's cake, of course) Cindy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
medawyn Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 We didn't serve cake at our wedding, and no one has ever commented on missing it. We did brownies and milk :D There were also my grandmother's famous cookies. My brother and his wife had cupcakes. Those were also a big hit. I've been to several weddings that served pie instead of cake. I know several of my friends have chosen not-cake, because wedding cakes can be so expensive. I think as long as there is SOMETHING sweet, people are happy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 No problems on my end. I like it when things are individualized yet not tacky. I'm one of the few people in the world who wish wedding breakfasts would come back in style. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujsky Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 I'm pretty traditional when it comes to weddings, but I don't see a problem with it -- especially since there will be a groom's cake there and cupcakes for the kids. I know my DH would prefer pie to cake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 Currently cupcakes are very popular. I wouldn't be surprised if many adults wanted them too. If people see kids walking around with cupcakes, they'll probably be looking for more. If your dd doesn't want to serve a whole bunch of cupcakes along with pie, I see nothing wrong with serving just pie. The kids will live, and so will people like me- who just don't care for pie :tongue_smilie: The bride and groom should have whatever makes them happiest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 I hate wedding cake, personally. Bring on the pie! (Or brownies. Now I want to have another wedding just so that I can serve brownies.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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