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Show-off. :glare:

 

 

 

:D And I didn't even mention the candles. :lol:

 

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

Seriously. What is WITH this weird, Christian obsession with people's s*x lives?!? :001_huh:

 

You know, I think women--and men out there are hurting. And that is what is driving it. They are searching, but they don't know how to fix what they know is wrong.

 

We live in this hypersexualized society, all we talk about is sex, and people's marriages lack *intimacy*.

 

When I wrote, I cannot TELL you the amt. of letters and e-mails I got from completely broken hearted women. They made me cry. There's tons of sex going on, but there's no intimacy, and it's hurting couples, and so they write these crazy how to books, and write these crazy how to have hot Christian &ex blogs. Then they get frustrated because they thought more would make it better, or even that this *stuff* would make it better. But unless the two are becoming one in more than physical parts-I'm talking about the spiritual aspect of the brewing act, there's no making it better.

 

I have ideas on how to solve that, but it's not a popular discussion.

Edited by justamouse
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I think this post brings us around to the real issue:

 

This is not Christianity. These types of teachings that center around marital relations actually have more in common with pagan fertility cults than with the gospel of Jesus Christ.

 

If one follows the instruction of the Apostle Paul, who Christians believe was inspired by the Holy Spirit to teach the doctrines of Christ, the couple will not feel bound to legalistic s*xual rituals.

 

Instead, they are taught that the will of Christ is that each partner in a marriage views his or her body as belonging to the other. Neither is to reject or abuse the other, and they may abstain as they mutually agree. If the husband loves his wife as Christ loves the church, he will not abuse her. If she believes she is not to defraud her husband of relations, she will not manipulate him with s*x but enjoy that intimate relationship with the honor and joy God intended. If they follow all the admonitions in scripture of how believers are to treat one another and apply those teachings to their marriage, they will both feel safe and respected.

 

That is the ideal put forth in scripture, and in traditional Christianity. The rest of this is false worship, worshiping s*x, worshiping husbands, worshiping procreation, worshiping homeschooling, and above all worshiping the false teachers who hand down these edicts by listening to them instead of to the Holy Spirit. Put it all away. It has no roots in the tradition or holy scriptures of Christianity.

 

If you are a Christian, run to Christ who loved women and established marriage as a protection and blessing and not a curse. There is safety and joy in a marriage where both seek after true biblical principles and reject all other voices.

 

That only works though if both sides are willing to work on it. It doesn't work so well when when it's only one sided.

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You know, I think women--and men out there are hurting. And that is what is driving it. They are searching, but they don't know how to fix what they know is wrong.

 

We live in this hypersexualized society, all we talk about is sex, and people's marriages lack *intimacy*.

 

When I wrote, I cannot TELL you the amt. of letters and e-mails I got from completely broken hearted women. They made me cry. There's tons of sex going on, but there's no intimacy, and it's hurting couples, and so they write these crazy how to books, and write these crazy how to have hot Christian &ex blogs. Then they get frustrated because they thought more would make it better, or even that this *stuff* would make it better. But unless the two are becoming one in more than physical parts-I'm talking about the spiritual aspect of the brewing act, there's no making it better.

 

I have ideas on how to solve that, but it's not a popular discussion.

 

:iagree:

 

That only works though if both sides are willing to work on it. It doesn't work so well when when it's only one sided.

 

:iagree: but it's still nice to hear.

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You know, I think women--and men out there are hurting. And that is what is driving it. They are searching, but they don't know how to fix what they know is wrong.

 

We live in this hypersexualized society, all we talk about is sex, and people's marriages lack *intimacy*.

 

When I wrote, I cannot TELL you the amt. of letters and e-mails I got from completely broken hearted women. They made me cry. There's tons of sex going on, but there's no intimacy, and it's hurting couples, and so they write these crazy how to books, and write these crazy how to have hot Christian &ex blogs. Then they get frustrated because they thought more would make it better, or even that this *stuff* would make it better. But unless the two are becoming one in more than physical parts-I'm talking about the spiritual aspect of the brewing act, there's no making it better.

 

I have ideas on how to solve that, but it's not a popular discussion.

 

I'd love to hear your thoughts on it. You are more than welcome to pm them to me if it's not appropriate for here.

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Sadly, if that's the case, there's a far bigger problem in the marriage than s*x.

 

But I think that's often where it plays out the most because of the emotions involved and both sides having competing expectations for how things should be. And with the amount of sexual dysfunction in today's society, you can get two people whose dysfunctions really don't work together.

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I'd love to hear your thoughts on it. You are more than welcome to pm them to me if it's not appropriate for here.

 

I'll talk 'about' it. ;)

 

We're cynical. We're a very cynical society, and we've done it to ourselves. We enter marriages with our eyes wide open, and the pre nups signed. We have a back out plan. ---I'm NOT saying that in some cases it's not warranted, but I'm saying that we start off hoping to win, but expecting to fail, and we emotionally close ourselves off to protect ourselves. So it's like going into marriage with body armor on and expecting to be able to feel the breeze against your skin. And then we protect ourselves physically from the actual act that is supposed to bring us together (I'm not advocating 'quiverful'). But when we divorce our bodies from the fulfillment of the act, and then wonder why sex is so empty... Women don't *talk* about it to their husbands. Some may, but most are so beyond embarrassed. We're afraid of being laughed at -both sexes- men are just as crippled as women. Why is there embarrassment like that in a marriage? Is it carry over from when we were with people we shouldn't have been?

 

Those are ideas. I DO know that reading Theology of the Body for Beginners helped me think differently about how we got to this place and what we can do to solve it.

Edited by justamouse
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... She said a man would rather clip hedges outside in the freezing rain than have s*x with a wife who is not into it and fully passionate...

 

OK then, what is the exhausted woman (homeschool mom or not) supposed to do when she finally gets to bed... frazzled and frantic or exasperated that she may not appear passionate enough? :tongue_smilie:

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I'll talk 'about' it. ;)

 

We're cynical. We're a very cynical society, and we've done it to ourselves. We enter marriages with our eyes wide open, and the pre nups signed. We have a back out plan. ---I'm NOT saying that in some cases it's not warranted, but I'm saying that we start off hoping to win, but expecting to fail, and we emotionally close ourselves off to protect ourselves. So it's like going into marriage with body armor on and expecting to be able to feel the breeze against your skin. And then we protect ourselves physically from the actual act that is supposed to bring us together (I'm not advocating 'quiverful'). But when we divorce our bodies from the fulfillment of the act, and then wonder why sex is so empty...

 

I was hopeful I would be able to apply your thoughts but oh well. Thanks though.

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I think this post brings us around to the real issue:

 

This is not Christianity. These types of teachings that center around marital relations actually have more in common with pagan fertility cults than with the gospel of Jesus Christ.

 

If one follows the instruction of the Apostle Paul, who Christians believe was inspired by the Holy Spirit to teach the doctrines of Christ, the couple will not feel bound to legalistic s*xual rituals.

 

Instead, they are taught that the will of Christ is that each partner in a marriage views his or her body as belonging to the other. Neither is to reject or abuse the other, and they may abstain as they mutually agree. If the husband loves his wife as Christ loves the church, he will not abuse her. If she believes she is not to defraud her husband of relations, she will not manipulate him with s*x but enjoy that intimate relationship with the honor and joy God intended. If they follow all the admonitions in scripture of how believers are to treat one another and apply those teachings to their marriage, they will both feel safe and respected.

 

That is the ideal put forth in scripture, and in traditional Christianity. The rest of this is false worship, worshiping s*x, worshiping husbands, worshiping procreation, worshiping homeschooling, and above all worshiping the false teachers who hand down these edicts by listening to them instead of to the Holy Spirit. Put it all away. It has no roots in the tradition or holy scriptures of Christianity.

 

If you are a Christian, run to Christ who loved women and established marriage as a protection and blessing and not a curse. There is safety and joy in a marriage where both seek after true biblical principles and reject all other voices.

Thank you! :iagree::iagree::iagree:

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Can you see this on your Flylady evening routine:

1. Shine sink

2. Get out clothes for tomorrow (who does that by the way?)

3. Tuck kids in

4. Wash face

5. Have sex with husband

 

How demoralizing is that for a marriage. I think my husband would rather not do it so often than feel like I was checking him off my to-do list.

JMO,

Joy

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I know, it won't work if both aren't committed to that ideal. Which is going to represent probably the majority of marriages today, for lots and lots of reasons. I know saying it won't make it immediately possible or even probable for everyone.

 

I always want to put it out there, though, so that women can at least hear that the model being presented to them in some homeschooling circles is not biblical and shouldn't be used as a measuring stick for their own marriage. They shouldn't feel guilty for not being the homemaking and s*xual dynamo that Mrs. So-and-so claims to be. They shouldn't feel responsible if they are not married to Mr. Wonderful and can't make him happy by sheer force of will (like Debi Pearl teaches). They shouldn't feel as if their bodies are disobedient to God because they are physically unable to bring unlimited children into the world.

 

Above all, they should hear from someone that they are not obligated to endure marital rape for Jesus' sake. They don't have to see themselves as s*x slaves to unregenerate husbands. Their husband is to be their protector, not their oppressor, and he is to love them as Christ loves the church. He is to love his wife as he loves his own body.

 

Women who have been under these extra-biblical teachings need to learn of their true worth to God. They are His precious daughters, not temple prostitutes. They exist as all people do for His glory, not for the glory of their husbands. They are not here for the sole purpose of procreation, at the expense of their own health, their personal calling from the Lord, or even their life in some instances. Some of them don't know that what they're experiencing is abusive, so I have to speak up for the truth for their sake.

 

There are men, too, who are feeling like absolute failures because they simply have none of the patriarch in them. They don't want to watch their wives go through a pregnancy every year. They know they can't afford 20 children. Maybe they don't agree with homeschooling. Maybe they disagree with the teachings about spousal roles and s*xuality, but they don't know how else to live as a Christian and they don't want to be like their own Dads were. This lifestyle is the model being presented to them as Christianity, and they want godly homes.

 

I was helping to counsel a man like this, just this past weekend. He wants an egalitarian marriage with Christ at the center, but his wife is having none of it. She will not work with him in any area of the home, but insists that he follow what she's learning at church. He is being bullied by her homeschool group and her pastor and his marriage is at risk, when he's just a very normal man trying to have a normal home.

 

Some of us are speaking out now, as these Methods for the Proper Christian Home are sweeping the homeschooling community and now churches, as well. It's a very big situation.

 

I might be able to teach the truth as I know it from scripture, and I might be able to convince a woman that what I'm saying is true. But I can't do anything about her husband if he is abusing her and won't listen to me or anyone else. All I can do is tell her what she has a right to in her own home, and what her legal rights are, and help her find resources if she realizes that she or her children are being abused. At the very least I can be the first person she hears it from. I can be one Christian woman to cast some doubt on the whole paradigm, even if her chance to get out of it won't come for some time.

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Can you see this on your Flylady evening routine:

1. Shine sink

2. Get out clothes for tomorrow (who does that by the way?)

3. Tuck kids in

4. Wash face

5. Have sex with husband

 

How demoralizing is that for a marriage. I think my husband would rather not do it so often than feel like I was checking him off my to-do list.

JMO,

Joy

 

Even worse -- #5 Prepare my body for sex. Like I walk around all day too gross for anyone to touch.

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I just read a blog about s*x being the greatest comfort a man could have and his #1 need in order to feel loved (this was a Christian blog). The author said we should prepare our bodies and our homes to have s*x each day, make our beds fragrant, our bedrooms exciting, prepare our bodies, etc. She said a man would rather clip hedges outside in the freezing rain than have s*x with a wife who is not into it and fully passionate. This is someone who has 12 children, so it's not like she isn't busy enough as it is.

 

She is getting this from the "For Women Only" book and the survey inside. I am wondering, if this is true, how do young boys grow up feeling loved?

 

Good grief. Mature Christian men should seek their fulfillment and love in Christ, not sex. Sex is a bonus. Sex is great. But seriously?! They are to love thier wives as Christ loved the church- sacrificially. This is so bogusly, like Tibbie said, extra- biblical, and ignores basic tenets of the faith. Having 12 kids makes you no expert on a good marriage or sex. Reading a book makes you no expert on marriage or sex.

Do leaglistic roles and rules draw the married couple to a deeper understanding of the Lord and their place in the Kingdome or into thier own selfish desires and nature?

 

I prepare my body and my home to serve and steward my family. Some days that includes sex, some days it doesn't. My dh and I have a loving, fulfilled marriage on days we do, and days we don't. To think that men, and marriage is as shallow as this is....mind boggling.

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:iagree: Excellent post, Tibbie.

 

I know, it won't work if both aren't committed to that ideal. Which is going to represent probably the majority of marriages today, for lots and lots of reasons. I know saying it won't make it immediately possible or even probable for everyone.

 

I always want to put it out there, though, so that women can at least hear that the model being presented to them in some homeschooling circles is not biblical and shouldn't be used as a measuring stick for their own marriage. They shouldn't feel guilty for not being the homemaking and s*xual dynamo that Mrs. So-and-so claims to be. They shouldn't feel responsible if they are not married to Mr. Wonderful and can't make him happy by sheer force of will (like Debi Pearl teaches). They shouldn't feel as if their bodies are disobedient to God because they are physically unable to bring unlimited children into the world.

 

Above all, they should hear from someone that they are not obligated to endure marital rape for Jesus' sake. They don't have to see themselves as s*x slaves to unregenerate husbands. Their husband is to be their protector, not their oppressor, and he is to love them as Christ loves the church. He is to love his wife as he loves his own body.

 

Women who have been under these extra-biblical teachings need to learn of their true worth to God. They are His precious daughters, not temple prostitutes. They exist as all people do for His glory, not for the glory of their husbands. They are not here for the sole purpose of procreation, at the expense of their own health, their personal calling from the Lord, or even their life in some instances. Some of them don't know that what they're experiencing is abusive, so I have to speak up for the truth for their sake.

 

There are men, too, who are feeling like absolute failures because they simply have none of the patriarch in them. They don't want to watch their wives go through a pregnancy every year. They know they can't afford 20 children. Maybe they don't agree with homeschooling. Maybe they disagree with the teachings about spousal roles and s*xuality, but they don't know how else to live as a Christian and they don't want to be like their own Dads were. This lifestyle is the model being presented to them as Christianity, and they want godly homes.

 

I was helping to counsel a man like this, just this past weekend. He wants an egalitarian marriage with Christ at the center, but his wife is having none of it. She will not work with him in any area of the home, but insists that he follow what she's learning at church. He is being bullied by her homeschool group and her pastor and his marriage is at risk, when he's just a very normal man trying to have a normal home.

 

Some of us are speaking out now, as these Methods for the Proper Christian Home are sweeping the homeschooling community and now churches, as well. It's a very big situation.

 

I might be able to teach the truth as I know it from scripture, and I might be able to convince a woman that what I'm saying is true. But I can't do anything about her husband if he is abusing her and won't listen to me or anyone else. All I can do is tell her what she has a right to in her own home, and what her legal rights are, and help her find resources if she realizes that she or her children are being abused. At the very least I can be the first person she hears it from. I can be one Christian woman to cast some doubt on the whole paradigm, even if her chance to get out of it won't come for some time.

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I don't think this is true. Couples have "quickies" all the time, often when the woman isn't fully passionate. I can imagine that when a man is with his wife and she is acting annoyed and grossed out, then yes he'd be turned off quickly. I think it's best to be giving and loving when you can even when your spouse has a higher sex drive then you.

:iagree: My dh would definitely rather have a quickie than no s*x. The pressure to be a passionate Christian wife because otherwise I wasn't good enough for my man had a very negative impact on my attitude toward s*x. The ebb and flow of my response due to, well, what ever, used to be fine, then I got indoctrinated with this type on nonsense and I had to "perform" or I wasn't good enough and I ended up in a downward spiral of guilt and resentment and wanting less and less and actually being upset when my dh would initiate and trying to avoid s*x more than not; for example I wouldn't snuggle up to him because I knew what that would lead to or a welcome home kiss. In other words if I wasn't "in the mood" I'd basically avoid any physical touch and even guard my actions all due to this type of teaching. Of course according to this teaching I was wrong, very wrong to not be passionately available, if I really loved and respected my dh and had his best interest at heart (not my own) I should be able to prepare and psych myself up so more guilt, heaps of guilt. Fortunately my dh doesn't believe this garbage and since I've realized how destructive it was and have again felt free to have my own feelings on the matter things are slowly getting better, thank God.

Edited by Happyhomemama
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Okay. Well, first... that book is the book for that woman's husband. It's of no use to you. What you need to do is find the book for YOUR husband. Or write it. Or communicate with him and write it with him.

 

But whatever you do, quit reading books/blogs/articles/posts/tweets/blurbs/etc about men who aren't your husband written by women who aren't your husband's wife.

 

They are completely. Useless. Trot.

 

:iagree:

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Fragrant beds. :lol:

 

The entire Christian community needs to stop this nonsense. Dear anonymous lady, stop telling us about your sex life. Stop telling us that whatever your husband wants is the definition of Christian holiness, because that is absurd. It's also quite vulgar and common to explain your husband's peccadilloes to strangers on the internet. You are grossing out the whole world, and you need to go read your Bible. Stay out of my bedroom and quit astonishing me by inviting me into yours. Thanks.

 

I intend to copy and paste this on every Christian blog and article of this kind until they all just stop it.

 

:iagree:

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I think it's another stereotype (which may be true for *some* men, but not all) that somehow sells marriage books. I've begun counseling young couples to not read a single book on marriage and/or sex until they've been married at least a year because nobody else should be telling them how to love and relate to THEIR unique spouse.

 

That said, *I* find s*x to be a comfort and security in my relationship way more than dh and it's books like these that have made me feel like an alien nympho.

 

I wanna write a book about how whatever *I'm* doing is the One True Way!

 

Whoa. DH HATES smell of any kind. People who write this stuff make me :lol:

 

My DH doesn't hate all smells, but perfumy smells bug him. I had some lotion that was "too sweet" for him, but he didn't tell me for ages because he like that it signaled something good was going to happen.

 

Personally, I don't want to know and care not-a-bit about the inner life of any man other than the one I'm married to....

 

:D

 

I remember the good 'ol days when the busybody church ladies would NEVER discuss such things.

 

And then there are the people who think one should partake as INfrequently as possible, that it's bad for the knees and draining on a man's energy. I've been told that too, by the way.

 

Well, some things DO require positioning that is tough on weak or injured knees, but the answer is to train up, not abstain! :D

 

I know you were joking, and I'm not normally a very sensitive person, but - that was kinda ,,, uh, well.... let's just say as a military wife with a DH who will have been gone 8 months out of this year... well - it was nauseating actually. And yes - he's gone right now.

I can't even tell you what bothered me about it so much.... It just did.

 

Nah, you can practice alone. It's all good.

 

 

I forgot to hit send earlier. I'm now three hours behind on this conversation. Time to catch up . . .

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Can you see this on your Flylady evening routine:

1. Shine sink

2. Get out clothes for tomorrow (who does that by the way?)

3. Tuck kids in

4. Wash face

5. Have sex with husband

 

How demoralizing is that for a marriage. I think my husband would rather not do it so often than feel like I was checking him off my to-do list.

JMO,

Joy

 

You forgot that, between #4 and #5, you're supposed to make the bed more fragrant.

 

Sorry to be so nitpicky. ;)

Edited by Catwoman
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The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

Thank heavens that isn't true! I could not cook when we met and could not cook when we married. In fact, my mama could not cook. She and my stepdad fell in love over a cooking a steak...as in, he saw how she was planning to cook it and he took over cooking all meals thereafter.

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You forgot that, between #4 and #5, you're supposed to make the bed more fragrant.

 

Sorry to be so nitpicky. ;)

 

I don't remember where this was. An older lady said something about we must groom our "parts" so they are always ready. Um, vomit much?!

 

Basically, I failed before the wedding. We both sucked at being married. Then we kicked everyone out of our marriage and started talking. We have THE best marriage, ever now. It's not like it happened overnight. Somehow we just knew the only thing that was going to change, is if we only focus on each other. That meant truly coming to a place where we find out what pleases each other, and how to get there. I give in, he gives in. It's not all roses. And he SURELY doesn't want to smell roses in the bedroom. He is very sensitive to smells.

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An older lady said something about we must groom our "parts" so they are always ready. Um, vomit much?!

 

:ack2: :ack2: :ack2:

 

Some people just don't seem to understand the concept of "over-sharing." :glare:

 

There are certain things in life that you just don't want to picture in your head, and that old lady's well-groomed "parts" are probably on that list.

 

Yuck.

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I think this post brings us around to the real issue:

 

This is not Christianity. These types of teachings that center around marital relations actually have more in common with pagan fertility cults than with the gospel of Jesus Christ.

.

 

I NEVER hear Pagans telling people stuff like this. It's ALWAYS the Christians. It makes it tough to defend my faith in mixed company :-/

 

I understand what this woman is trying to do and her heart is to encourage younger wives to meet their husbands needs, and I think that is an admirable goal. I think it's kind and caring of her to want to encourage women who might otherwise deny their husbands to make sure they are not forgetting about their husband's needs out of selfishness.

:(

 

Does anyone know any men who seek out books about how to please their women? Is there even a market for that? The higher percentage of women who read and try to apply this stuff almost makes an interesting case for the men to be in charge.

 

I think I just confused myself.

 

I'm told that DH has a friend at work who gets it twice a year: his birthday and Christmas. That's their situation, he says.

 

:confused: Wow. I'd watch a documentary on that couple. Fascinating.

 

Huh. Thought it was through the ribcage, like everyone elses.

 

 

Am I the only one picturing her on the edge of a volcano with a beating heart in her hand?

 

Can't believe you girls are still all over this thread. :lol:

 

Come now . . .WHY can't you believe it?

 

Can you see this on your Flylady evening routine:

1. Shine sink

2. Get out clothes for tomorrow (who does that by the way?)

3. Tuck kids in

4. Wash face

5. Have sex with husband

 

How demoralizing is that for a marriage. I think my husband would rather not do it so often than feel like I was checking him off my to-do list.

JMO,

Joy

 

Have you ever found your Dh's To-Do list and put your name on it?

 

I think I figured out why the woman who wrote the book had 12 children. She did it to get the post-partum break that the doctor orders!

Edited by KungFuPanda
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I'm sorry, Kung Fu Panda, I assumed that by including the words 'fertility cult' with the word 'pagan' I was making it clear I was talking about ancient history. Not people of today who self-identify as pagan but don't serve as prostitutes at Diana's temple in Greece.

 

I agree, this is a problem in American Christianity. There are other serious home-and-family problems in our nation but this one's ours.

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I'm told that DH has a friend at work who gets it twice a year: his birthday and Christmas. That's their situation, he says.

 

If it makes you feel any more "equal", there are men who bait and switch, too. I heard more than one tale of woe of the woman who was wined and dined and loved and welcomed into the family, and treated with passion until marriage and then it is: work full time, do all the housework, and take over 98% of the responsibility for those great step-kids you fell in love with, too.

 

I had more than one patient who came in just to cry: trapped with a jerk because she loved his kids, and not daring to have one of her own because he is a jerk. It was heart breaking.

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I'm sorry, Kung Fu Panda, I assumed that by including the words 'fertility cult' with the word 'pagan' I was making it clear I was talking about ancient history. Not people of today who self-identify as pagan but don't serve as prostitutes at Diana's temple in Greece.

/QUOTE]

 

Hey, I don't know WHAT they do on vacation. I'll ask.

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OP, you have mentioned a few times that you struggle in this area. Do not let other people burden you. No couple has the same relationship as anyone else. Live, love and grow in *your* relationship. :grouphug:

:iagree: You can NOT compare your married life to another couple's married life. Each is different with different needs, different strengths, different weaknesses, different personalities, etc. Put those books down (take it from one that wishes she had never picked up books like that years ago).

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I don't remember where this was. An older lady said something about we must groom our "parts" so they are always ready. Um, vomit much?!

 

 

Oh yuck. I once stumbled onto an idiotic blog claiming to be Christian which made a preposterous argument that women were BIBLICALLY required to be bare down there in addition to being available to their husbands anytime, anywhere. Complete with outrageously out of context gospel verses. Honestly a lot of it seems like some Christians feel guilty about sexual kinks- BDSM, D/s and this try to claim that what they happen to be turned on by is the biblical way to be. I don't care what kinks people have but they need not do backflips to justify them with the bible. And I would be willing to go out on a limb and say that trimming the lady garden is not mentioned in the bible, no matter how many verses the kinky Christian patriarchy read double meanings into. Some even advocate physically hitting wives. Again, between consenting adult whatever. But don't tell me it is part of being the best Christian.

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I'm sorry, Kung Fu Panda, I assumed that by including the words 'fertility cult' with the word 'pagan' I was making it clear I was talking about ancient history. Not people of today who self-identify as pagan but don't serve as prostitutes at Diana's temple in Greece.

/QUOTE]

 

Hey, I don't know WHAT they do on vacation. I'll ask.

 

:lol: Me and my assumptions!

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The entire Christian community needs to stop this nonsense. Dear anonymous lady, stop telling us about your sex life. Stop telling us that whatever your husband wants is the definition of Christian holiness, because that is absurd. It's also quite vulgar and common to explain your husband's peccadilloes to strangers on the internet. You are grossing out the whole world, and you need to go read your Bible. Stay out of my bedroom and quit astonishing me by inviting me into yours. Thanks.

 

:iagree:

 

I tell new moms, "read your baby, not the book." The same goes for husbands too.

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I don't remember where this was. An older lady said something about we must groom our "parts" so they are always ready. Um, vomit much?!

.

 

Old ladies should not talk about grooming of those parts.

 

The time my grandma attempted to vaguely discuss brazilian waxing after watching a segment on Oprah, well, let's just say, she kept insisting, "but they remove all the hair!" -- it still cracks me up.

 

Braid it, dye it, shave it, wax it, but just don't talk about it. And male swimmers, can you get trunks that start ABOVE the pubic line for gosh sakes?

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Fragrant beds. :lol:

 

The entire Christian community needs to stop this nonsense. Dear anonymous lady, stop telling us about your sex life. Stop telling us that whatever your husband wants is the definition of Christian holiness, because that is absurd. It's also quite vulgar and common to explain your husband's peccadilloes to strangers on the internet. You are grossing out the whole world, and you need to go read your Bible. Stay out of my bedroom and quit astonishing me by inviting me into yours. Thanks.

 

I intend to copy and paste this on every Christian blog and article of this kind until they all just stop it.

 

:lol::lol::lol: hilarious.

 

I just want to say that when dh makes the bed fragrant, sometimes I have to leave the room.:glare:

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Old ladies should not talk about grooming of those parts.

 

The time my grandma attempted to vaguely discuss brazilian waxing after watching a segment on Oprah, well, let's just say, she kept insisting, "but they remove all the hair!" -- it still cracks me up.

 

Braid it, dye it, shave it, wax it, but just don't talk about it. And male swimmers, can you get trunks that start ABOVE the pubic line for gosh sakes?

 

She didn't mean it, Male Swimmers! (Stop trying to ruin it for the rest of us, Lady.)

 

I once had a conversation with a friend's mother about The Girl With the Dragon Tatoo (the subtitled movie). She discussed parts of the movie, but matter-of-factly informed me that she didn't "care for rough s3x." Did Emily Post spell out a correct response to THAT statement?

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OP, you have mentioned a few times that you struggle in this area. Do not let other people burden you. No couple has the same relationship as anyone else. Live, love and grow in *your* relationship. :grouphug:

 

:iagree: You can NOT compare your married life to another couple's married life. Each is different with different needs, different strengths, different weaknesses, different personalities, etc. Put those books down (take it from one that wishes she had never picked up books like that years ago).

 

Yes, thank you. I don't know why I torture myself! I don't go looking for this stuff, I promise! It just runs right into me! (the info I am referencing here is from a blog, not a book)

 

Oh yuck. I once stumbled onto an idiotic blog claiming to be Christian which made a preposterous argument that women were BIBLICALLY required to be bare down there in addition to being available to their husbands anytime, anywhere. Complete with outrageously out of context gospel verses. Honestly a lot of it seems like some Christians feel guilty about sexual kinks- BDSM, D/s and this try to claim that what they happen to be turned on by is the biblical way to be. I don't care what kinks people have but they need not do backflips to justify them with the bible. And I would be willing to go out on a limb and say that trimming the lady garden is not mentioned in the bible, no matter how many verses the kinky Christian patriarchy read double meanings into. Some even advocate physically hitting wives. Again, between consenting adult whatever. But don't tell me it is part of being the best Christian.

 

oh dear heavens.

 

She didn't mean it, Male Swimmers! (Stop trying to ruin it for the rest of us, Lady.)

 

I once had a conversation with a friend's mother about The Girl With the Dragon Tatoo (the subtitled movie). She discussed parts of the movie, but matter-of-factly informed me that she didn't "care for rough s3x." Did Emily Post spell out a correct response to THAT statement?

 

:lol::lol::lol:

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Can you imagine a man ever reading a book telling him a woman's greatest comfort is romance and that every single day he should write her poetry, buy flowers, or cook a candlelight dinner?

 

What a load of garbage.

 

I don't need flowers, poetry or romantic dinners, but watching him do the dishes...well that is the best foreplay. LOL

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