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S/O what's funny in your neighborhood?


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I don't have a "neighborhood" in the proper sense, but I have a neighbor through the woods. I can't see their house from my porch, but I can hear some...interesting altercations that go something like, "Open up the F***** door!" "Get your lazy *** in here and pick up the ******* room!"

 

We're not rednecks around here. Noooooo.....

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To get to our house we give this as part of the directions:

 

"turn at the corner where there is the mustard colored house, the fluorescent blue house and the salmon pink house."

 

We had a visitor come and say, "Um, I thought you were exaggerating when you gave me the directions to your house. You weren't! What were all those people thinking?!"

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Our neighbors dogs come to the end of our driveway at the same time every day. They drive our dogs nuts for about 30-40 minutes and then head back home. Our neighbor two houses down the road is in the habit of going out early in the morning to water her flowers in her underwear or pajamas. I've learned to delay the kids going out to play until 8a.m. The neighbor 1 mile behind us target practices with his rifle every Saturday, late in the evening during the summer. It makes it hard to get the kids to bed.

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To get to our house we give this as part of the directions:

 

"turn at the corner where there is the mustard colored house, the flourescent blue house and the salmon pink house."

 

We had a visitor come and say, "Um, I thought you were exaggerating when you gave me the directions to your house. You weren't! What were all those people thinking?!"

 

 

Have you been to Snohomish and seen the purple one? :D You would know it if you did!

 

We don't really have anything funny on our block. Our behind us neighbors have a door mat that says "Go away."

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To get to our house we give this as part of the directions:

 

"turn at the corner where there is the mustard colored house, the fluorescent blue house and the salmon pink house."

 

We had a visitor come and say, "Um, I thought you were exaggerating when you gave me the directions to your house. You weren't! What were all those people thinking?!"

:lol:

 

Our directions include: drive past the giant 6-pack...after the lights, turn left just past the giant guitar neck. :D

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I live in the country, so this isn't in a neighborhood, but there is this one house in town and they're complete HOARDERS.:001_huh: It really isn't funny I guess and they probably need an intervention. Anyway, they have a 1970's wooden dining room table & chairs out on their patio, a hot tub that doesn't work and all the sides are completely off where only the foam part is exposed, sitting in their front yard. Stuffed teddy bears on the front porch on top of HUGE piles of junky trash. It's just a disgusting mess all around.:glare:

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I mentioned this is Jean's thread about the trash strike but it's appropriate here, too. We have at least 7 different trash services in our subdivision. Each family contracts their own service and anyone who has a truck can do it. I didn't even count the company that is trying to expand their service into our town. I'm not sure if anyone is with them. So we have trash pick up rolling through here nearly every day of the week.

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Any time we want to hear Johnny Cash all we have to do is step out our back door. The neighbor whose yard is alongside our back yard constantly plays his music out his back windows while he sits in his yard drinking beer all day. Yet, when you talk to him he tells you how much he loves the outdoors--the trees, the birds,etc. :confused: How does he even hear the birds?

 

Actually he has gotten a little better lately. I've been able to sit on the patio and enjoy peace and quiet.

 

Oh, then we have the neighbor who is on a mission to get rid of every tree in the neighborhood so that there is no chance any can ever fall on his house. He is very upset by our 70 year old maple.

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My younger kids seriously stalk our neighbor across the street. He cannot be outside without them noticing and yelling hello to him through the windows. They love him.

 

The same neighbor has two remote control airplanes that he flies around. My kids all run outside to watch the airplane and the bats that start flying around it.

 

We have neighbors down the street that think our side street (a paved road in a residential location) is the perfect place to ride their off road motorcycle and quad for hours at a time.

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I think *we* are what's funny in our neighborhood.

 

We are the people in the big fancy neighborhood that does crazy things.

 

When we ordered our new bonus room furniture, it didn't fit up the stairs. My dh took the upstairs window apart, put the furniture in the tractor loader and hefted it up there through the window.

 

We might be seen at any moment chasing a calf or a chicken. I am trying to teach my 4 yo son to use the toilet in the house rather than watering the trees.

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In my neighborhood, this afternoon, Obama's coming. He'll be speaking at 7:00 at the high school half a mile away. The roads will be jamming up -- and some of them will be closing completely -- very shortly.

 

All the neighbors did their errands early this morning. We're all going to be trapped in our homes for the rest of the day.

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Our community is very eclectic. There are million dollar homes right next to trailers (luckily, they're mostly surrounded by thick pine trees, plus many people out here live on 5 acres or more, so somehow it works).

 

About one mile down the road from us, there's a house with about 20-30 large filing cabinets sitting in the front yard (plus a bunch of old cars and other assorted junk). It's a total eyesore, but I finally learned why they keep all those filing cabinets: the guy is a beekeeper and has his bees in there. Maybe we'll head over there for a field trip some day... ;)

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Of all the places I've lived in the UK the thing that most strikes me about where we live now is that it seems impossible to do anything locally or go anywhere without meeting at least a couple of other people you already know, and a number of others who know people you know. It's quite a small town and close knit community, which is lovely.

 

Our next-door neighbour is funny. Despite being a well-off professional his house, which has been in his family for almost a hundred years, is pretty much falling apart and looks a terrible mess. Although we get on with him fine, he's constantly at war with many of the other neighbours. He seems to always have a smoky bonfire burning too, most especially on a balmy sunny evening when you're thinking of having friends over for a barbecue (we don't get too many evenings like that here).

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Our community is very eclectic. There are million dollar homes right next to trailers (luckily, they're mostly surrounded by thick pine trees, plus many people out here live on 5 acres or more, so somehow it works).

 

About one mile down the road from us, there's a house with about 20-30 large filing cabinets sitting in the front yard (plus a bunch of old cars and other assorted junk). It's a total eyesore, but I finally learned why they keep all those filing cabinets: the guy is a beekeeper and has his bees in there. Maybe we'll head over there for a field trip some day... ;)

 

This gave me a good chuckle!

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WE are the funny ones in the neighborhood.

 

1. Dh and 4-H club test rocket fuel in the yard.

 

2. DS flies a remote control blimp he made all over the neighborhood on still days.

 

3. The rocket team, once per year, spend a lot of time throwing variously packed eggs into the air inside a variety of possible payload section options and then unrolls the contents to see what survived the hard landing and what is, essentially, scrambled.

 

4. During the spring and autumn when the temperature is nice, I often leave the front doors of the house (church building) open while I practice the piano...this is a very "I'm a little bit country" type neighborhood and I play "that high falutin' perdy music" which causes me to find several neighbors gathered on the front steps when I'm done.

 

5. We live in a 110 year old church building.

 

There is more...we are definitely the weirdos around here.

 

Faith

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We have what I call the "7 deadly sins". These are the 2 that make most people go :confused:. If you violate them, you will get a naughty letter.

 

1. Thous shalt not store thy bike on thy balcony nor porch.

2. Thou shalt not hang any clothing to dry on thy balcony or porch, including beach towels in the summer.

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We are rural so don't really have a neighborhood but our lots are only 5 acres so we do have neighbors.

 

The other day I had to call one neighbor to let them know their ducklings were headed to my decorative pond. i knew once they got there *I* would be the one with ducks.

 

We have another neighbor that has a "need" to mow his lawn whenever something is happening around our house. If we have company outside, a contractor here, or anything else "interesting" going on he is out on his riding lawnmower. He was non too happy when we cut down about 3 acres of woods to make horse pasture. He lost some of his privacy even though we left up about 50 feet of woods along the lot line and have no planted some privacy hedge bushes. I figure if he wanted privacy, HE should not have cut down the trees on his property right up to the lot line.

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We have an elderly neighbor who likes to call the police a lot.

 

He's called the police because:

 

We own a VW bus.

We don't move the VW bus often enough (its a camper) so its "abandoned."

We have a skateboard in our driveway.

We have bikes in our side yard.

We have garbage cans next to our house.

I couldn't rake my leaves right after I had a baby.

We don't always rake every day.

We only shoveled 19" wide, not the regulation 24".

We own a dog.

Anyone adjacent to him who owns a dog.

The dog has been outside more than 10 minutes (no barking).

The dog has been outside 10 minutes and has barked more than twice (literally).

We have compost pile.

We have 'rats' in our yard (I think he saw squirrels from a distance).

His elderly neighbor's cat got out of her house and peed on his lawn. (He had the city engineer tell her they would forcibly remove the cat if she didn't get it indoors. The poor confused lady was wandering around knocking on doors.)

 

I think retirement is hard on this guy. I wouldn't mind so much if the city didn't take his side on some of the more ridiculous calls.

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The bar down the street has regulars who blow off illegal fireworks every Saturday night at 11:00. They have been doing this for years. It goes on for five minutes and then they stop. 20 seconds later we hear a cop car approaching at high speed. They never catch them. I guess they wait down the street for the cool show to be over before approaching. It used to bug me but my daughter and I just open the curtains at 10:45 now to watch.

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Our trash guys have a beat up old pick up rigged with plywood on the sides of the bed. They drive like maniacs (think the mailman in Funny Farm) and trash is frequently flying:glare: But, they are cheap!

 

Our next door neighbor (we're both on 20+ acres, so not super close) custom built his home. I kid you not, it looks like a gas station. It's all brick with a giant metal awning hanging off the front. Everyone that comes over asks what kind of business is next door. When we first moved, we wondered the same thing so we went over and asked. We were mortified when he told us that he designed and built the house:blink:

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We have a "club house" right down the road for bikers. They often have target practice. Since we live in a valley, it sounds like it is in our back yard.

 

Also down the road is a house with a sign at the end of the drive way: "Drop off junk here" From the looks of the place, many people take them up on it.

 

Mater is parked down the road as well. (One day we drove by and someone had drawn the Mater smile on poster board and put it in the grill :D)

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We have an elderly neighbor who likes to call the police a lot.

 

He's called the police because:

 

We own a VW bus.

We don't move the VW bus often enough (its a camper) so its "abandoned."

We have a skateboard in our driveway.

We have bikes in our side yard.

We have garbage cans next to our house.

I couldn't rake my leaves right after I had a baby.

We don't always rake every day.

We only shoveled 19" wide, not the regulation 24".

We own a dog.

Anyone adjacent to him who owns a dog.

The dog has been outside more than 10 minutes (no barking).

The dog has been outside 10 minutes and has barked more than twice (literally).

We have compost pile.

We have 'rats' in our yard (I think he saw squirrels from a distance).

His elderly neighbor's cat got out of her house and peed on his lawn. (He had the city engineer tell her they would forcibly remove the cat if she didn't get it indoors. The poor confused lady was wandering around knocking on doors.)

 

I think retirement is hard on this guy. I wouldn't mind so much if the city didn't take his side on some of the more ridiculous calls.

 

Oh my gosh that would drive me crazy. That man reminds me of this grumpy guy that lived next door to me when I was a kid who would always scream at us all the time when we were outside playing. He had a gorgeous big mango tree, but never ate the mangos. We used to ask him if he would give us some. "no!" We would ask him if we could buy some and how much he wanted. "No! They're not for sale!" Every single year come mango season he would let them fall to the ground and rot and if we tried to pick one up that had fallen he would scream at us to put his mangoes down. :glare:

 

 

Mater is parked down the road as well. (One day we drove by and someone had drawn the Mater smile on poster board and put it in the grill :D)

 

hehehehe That's too cute! :)

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We also live in a rural area with a few 5 acre lots so there are still people visible. Our very best friends live next door and I am almost positive that everyone else thinks we have some weird spouse switching commune thing going. This after a contractor (from down the road) came over and my friend's DH was here to help me because I am constructionally challenged and my DH was working. Later my friend was down too and brought us lunch so we were both sitting there with her DH with our long skirts and head coverings. The guy came out and said (after a long look), "Are you un's them mormons or somethin?" (Please note I intend no offense to Mormons - this was rural KY after all where LDS folks are considered pretty much aliens. Which has been kind of funny watching some of my neighbors weighing, in their opinion, Mormon Romney or Muslim Obama. Oh the hilarity. I have nothing but the highest respect for Mormons and do not think Obama is Muslim. Though it would be fine if he were. That was a lot of qualifying. :lol::lol::lol:). After that there have been some strange remarks about our "living situation" and "how we are". We are all definitely the odd ones here.

 

The family across the street has chronic fencing issues so there are always cows or horses in the road which all our city friends find hilarious.

 

Guy behind us shoots deer and squirrels and rabbits and turkeys and the air all. the. time.

 

We have a gray fox that steals chickens all the time.

 

So maybe nothing that weird after all. Just us.

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During our last block party, I discovered that our house is called the soccer house. We have a goal in our front yard. The kids and DH play soccer in the front yard almost every day. We have a "Home of a xxx High School Soccer Player" sign in our front yard. (Yes I am that mom.) We have magnets from the high school and three different soccer clubs on our cars. I am beginning to think that we might be obsessed. (especially since I am identifiable from this board based on my car...) But I also found out that the older neighbors love that we are outside playing all the time. They like having little kids and big kids on the street again.

 

I think the people across the street are growing interesting plants in their basement. The cops show up there about once a month for something or another. I think it makes the people who paid $1.4M for their house a little mad. But really, we are in a housing depression around here and it is not a smart move to pay that much for a house in a neighborhood with a previous high of $500K.

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Our neighbors 2 houses down have their entire house decked out in a tiki/tropical theme... year round. It's been like that since we moved in 5 years ago. There's a tiki hut, those big head thingies, bamboo all over the place. It's so weird.

 

Our other neighbors have a garage sale almost every weekend. How do you have so much stuff?!

 

Oh, and everyone seems to be related to each other around us. We're the weird ones, I guess.

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I think the only odd thing is telling people how to get here.

 

Go to the XX church. As soon as you drive through the traffic light turn on your blinker. Turn down the road on the right that looks like a drive way.

 

It really is a road, I promise.

 

If you find yourself wondering "Did I miss it?" You did.

 

 

There is an RN who lives in a Blood Red and black house. When she painted it and LOVED the way it turned out, I asked her (it totally just slipped out) "Don't you see enough blood at work?" She just looked at me like she had NO idea what I was talking about.

 

This is a pic of the back of the house. I don't want to post my neighbors houses on the web. LOL

Edited by Tap, tap, tap
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Our other neighbors have a garage sale almost every weekend. How do you have so much stuff?!

 

Oh, and everyone seems to be related to each other around us. We're the weird ones, I guess.

 

I think you may live on our road :lol:

 

Oh, and we ARE all related to one another...we call this Herrell Valley :tongue_smilie: My friend thought I was joking when I said we were moving here. My dh is related to about 70% of the people within a 2 mile radius of us. The other 30% are outsiders :001_huh:

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There is an RN who lives in a Blood Red and black house. When she painted it and LOVED the way it turned out, I asked her (it totally just slipped out) "Don't you see enough blood at work?" She just looked at me like she had NO idea what I was talking about.

 

Is she a vampire?? :D hehe

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Because of the layout of the streets, the instructions to our house and to our neighbor's house are the same. Our houses are very similar in color. And our mailboxes are on the same side of the street (and you can't see the numbers from the direction most people would be coming from, anyway). So it used to be very difficult for me to explain to people how to get to our house in such a way that they didn't end up at our neighbor's house. One day it hit me -- the street sign is in my yard! So now I just say, "When you get to the sign for X and Y streets, that sign is in my yard -- that's the house you want." ;)

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Re: house colors, we used to live in a townhouse development with regulation colors. There were only certain colors allowed, and they had to be spaced a certain way. So when it was time to paint the exterior of your home, you had to go to the Powers That Be and find out what your color was. But somewhere along the way, the townhouse we rented fell off the radar screen. One of the owners painted it this awful, awful shade of puke green without permission. It was the only townhouse in a community of several hundred townhouses that was that color. Just before we were getting ready to move out, a property inspector from the Powers That Be noticed that our house was not an acceptable color (it wasn't acceptable by anyone's standards, but for his purposes it was not on The List). We referred him to the owner, and they got into this protracted argument about the color and who had painted it that color without permission. Several years later, we were visiting the area and drove by the house -- and it was the same horrible puke green!

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I think *we* are what's funny in our neighborhood.

 

We are the people in the big fancy neighborhood that does crazy things.

 

When we ordered our new bonus room furniture, it didn't fit up the stairs. My dh took the upstairs window apart, put the furniture in the tractor loader and hefted it up there through the window.

 

We might be seen at any moment chasing a calf or a chicken. I am trying to teach my 4 yo son to use the toilet in the house rather than watering the trees.

:lol::lol:

 

this made me snort!!

 

robin in NJ

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We have a neighbor who thinks the people across the street are backing up in his driveway (they aren't) so he blocked it off with a HUGE chain and now he parks on the street.

 

He is also convinced people tailgate him so he writes big signs on the back of his truck.

"Back OFF-I fixin to fart"

"Suicide" with a big arrow pointing down

"I break for tailgaters"

 

Good times!

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Not hugely funny, but we have these two older men who are always standing at the side of the street watching everyone who drives past. It doesn't matter what day/time you go out, one or both of them will be standing there looking. We used to say they must be some kind of secret agents on a mysterious surveillance mission, until dh discovered the more mundane truth, which is that they are intellectually impaired and just enjoy watching the cars go past.

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We have a lot of deer who hang out in our yard and our neighbors' yards. There may be over a dozen deer in our (<1 acre) yard at any given time. When I come home I drive slowly and wait as they take their good sweet time getting out of the way of my car. Sometimes I wonder if they would ever kick the crap out of me rather than turn tail as I invade "their" territory.

 

Other cozy company we have are coyotes, foxes, raccoons, skunks, etc. Sometimes they get into our basement and even take up residence there. The mama raccoon used to snarl so bad when she thought I was after her babies in MY storage room. Hmph. But the skunk was worse. RIP Odie, too bad that stray cat was too much for you. If only you'd taken the fight away from my house foundation.

 

We live in the city, just about 15 minutes from a major downtown. But we also live very close to a forest preserve. My relatives who live in the actual boonies don't have as many wild visitors as we have.

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We live in a somewhat rural area on a dirt road in a small subdivision of about 100 houses. We had a neighborhood yard sale about a year or so ago that was a major flop - no one wants to drive this far from civilization for a yard sale I guess. Our across-the-street neighbors (mom, dad and two young boys) started playing tag with us just to kill time. All day long we were all running and yelling, "Tag! No tag backs!" or "Tag! You're It!" Now whenever we have to go to their house for any reason (borrow something, send something over they are borrowing, get instructions for dog sitting while they go away, just anything at all) one of us will tag the other and yell, "Tag!" and start running away. A few weeks ago they went on a family cruise to the Bahamas and sent us a post card that said, "Tag! You're it!" We love our neighbors.:)

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Is she a vampire?? :D hehe

 

It seriously looks like it and since she worked graveyard for years....HMMMM

 

It looks soo out of place in our neighborhood of earth toned pastel houses (c2000 neighborhood).

 

:svengo:

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