joannqn Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 (edited) Thank you everyone. Edited August 2, 2012 by joannqn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skadi Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 So everyone involved who said or did inappropriate things is no longer there, right? And I'm assuming that if the "inappropriate" things were of a nature that they weren't illegal. This is just about a potential civil suit? Honestly, I would quit because I would not want to work in an enviornment where I knew I had been deliberately deceived about this controversy. This thing is huge, and you're having to attach your name to it, and they led you into the ring of fire without a by-your-leave. That shows a complete lack of professionalism or regard for your own well being. If they were okay with doing that, what else might they do? If push came to shove, do you really trust them not to scapegoat you if they thought it would save their own hides? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 I would resign. What you committed to and what is actually happening are two different things. If you had known about this in advance, it doesn't sound like you would have made the same decision. I'd tell my kids, look, I know this is hard. But this is the right thing to do. When people intentionally deceive others, there are repercussions that have a rippling effect. This affects us, unfortunately. The most important thing I can do is protect YOU, and I have to make this tough choice. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 I would resign, and do it without guilt. They accepted your commitment without giving you all the pertinent information, which to my way of thinking, was dishonest of them, if not outright fraudulent. It sounds like your kids will be negatively impacted either way. My guess is that resigning and removing yourself from the mess will impact them less, but only you can make that call. :grouphug: Good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlessedMom Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 Sorry you have been put in such a challenging position! If I were in that position, under those circumstances, I would definitely resign. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted August 2, 2012 Author Share Posted August 2, 2012 (edited) . Edited August 2, 2012 by joannqn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgiana Daniels Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 It sounds pretty complicated and such an unfair position to put you in. Since all the information wasn't disclosed to you before you made the commitment, I don't think you should feel bad about making the decision based solely on what's best for your family (even if that means stepping down.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunnyDays Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 I wouldn't feel bad at all stepping down. You can find other friendship opportunities for your kids, and your first goal is to protect your family... if you get drug through the mud with the group, it affects your family as well. It was very unfair to bring you on board without full disclosure, and I think I would excuse myself. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 Do you tell them, "hire a lawyer or I will resign?" If you did and they took another course of action, then you are perfectly correct in resigning. If they said "We don't need a lawyer because the issue is closed" but then discovered that the issue was not closed, then you should tell them now, "hire a lawyer or I will resign". Then let them decide if they want you in that role enough to listen to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
staceyobu Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 Are there redeeming aspects to continuing with the group other than the obligation to fulfill your commitments? I don't know that I would be willing to be in the middle of a homeschool group mess that involved possible legal problems. Is a coop worth that? Can't they just dissolve and do something else without the former problems following it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted August 2, 2012 Author Share Posted August 2, 2012 (edited) . Edited August 2, 2012 by joannqn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
staceyobu Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 After rereading your original post, I think I'd bail. The negative feelings you have towards the group make it sound like you really want out. If you are going to quit, I would think it would be better for your kids if you get out sooner rather than later and look for opportunities for them to make friends elsewhere. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 Resign. Keep the contact information for the people you like, and organize your own little group. Don't get mired down in politics that don't even concern you. Let them battle it out on their own -- especially if this is a legal issue. I admire you for wanting to keep your commitments, but this sounds like it goes way above and beyond the call of duty. I'd bail out and never look back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 Does the group have Directors and Officers coverage? If not, see a lawyer yourself before you decide what to do. You don't want to end up personally liable for whatever happens legally. I don't know whether this would happen or not, but in certain circumstances new officers can be held liable for some wrong actions of prior ones if they know about them and don't take action to fix them. Please, check on this before you decide. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissel Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 Resign. Keep the contact information for the people you like, and organize your own little group. Don't get mired down in politics that don't even concern you. Let them battle it out on their own -- especially if this is a legal issue. I admire you for wanting to keep your commitments, but this sounds like it goes way above and beyond the call of duty. I'd bail out and never look back. :iagree: 100% Frankly, being allowed to step into leadership without knowledge of this potential debacle negates any commitment you made, IMO. As someone else pointed out, it sounds like you wouldn't have stepped in to lead if you'd had all the pertinent information. I wouldn't feel bad about protecting myself, my family, and my overall sanity from a mess like that. I also agree that you should put your own group together. If you were willing to go to the effort of saving an existing group, it shouldn't be that much harder to pull together your own group. Then you can make it what you want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 If I honestly thought I might be sued, I'd leave. Life is too short. However, you have few enough resources that they might well look elsewhere. Does this person have a leg to stand on? Do they have a history of chips on the shoulder? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 Totally up to you, but I agree that you should absolutely not feel morally obliged to honor your commitment to the Group, since you were not told all the relevant information before you made that commitment. I'd be skeptical about their claim that they thought it was all over because they hadn't heard anything. Even if this is true, it still sounds like it was a major issue, and one that you ought to have been made aware of. Do you feel that it would be feasible (or right) to 'poach' some members and start a fresh group? Could you respectfully give that ultimatum now, and see if they will agree to getting legal representation? But either way, don't feel guilty about not doing what you said you would. They have no right to expect you to take responsibility for fixing everything while they are unwilling to let you do it the way you think it should be done. TBH, it sounds to me as though they are trying to take advantage of your generosity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumto2 Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 Resign. Keep the contact information for the people you like, and organize your own little group. Don't get mired down in politics that don't even concern you. Let them battle it out on their own -- especially if this is a legal issue. I admire you for wanting to keep your commitments, but this sounds like it goes way above and beyond the call of duty. I'd bail out and never look back. :iagree: Start your own group with the contacts you have made! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JR the hs dad Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 If you have serious worries that there might be a lawsuit, you should speak to your insurance agent to review your coverage for something like this. We have been in a situation where we feared a lawsuit that might include us and we ended up buying some additional liability coverage for a few years until it blew over. The peace of mind was definitely worth the relatively small additional cost. A brief consult with a lawyer might help with this also. Sadly, civil lawsuits often seem to turn into money-hunting expeditions where they look for defendants from whom they can get their damages. You are probably doing this already, but make sure you keep copies of all of your correspondence and any notes related to this, especially relating to how the issue was revealed to you. It sounds like you've done the right thing so far so you want to make sure you can prove that if necessary. If you disagree with how this has been handled since you became involved, I'd definitely leave and do so in writing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 :iagree: 100% Frankly, being allowed to step into leadership without knowledge of this potential debacle negates any commitment you made, IMO. As someone else pointed out, it sounds like you wouldn't have stepped in to lead if you'd had all the pertinent information. I wouldn't feel bad about protecting myself, my family, and my overall sanity from a mess like that. I also agree that you should put your own group together. If you were willing to go to the effort of saving an existing group, it shouldn't be that much harder to pull together your own group. Then you can make it what you want. :iagree: I'd resign, in writing, stating that you were not aware of the situation when you came in and do not agree with their current course of action. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyS Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 This one is easy, I would resign the position and I wouldn't feel in the least bad about it. It IS NOT the position for which you committed. It's an entirely different situation. They lied to you and didn't give you all of the information. You are obligated to nothing. Drop it like a hot potato. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnitWit Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 Do you tell them, "hire a lawyer or I will resign?" If you did and they took another course of action, then you are perfectly correct in resigning. If they said "We don't need a lawyer because the issue is closed" but then discovered that the issue was not closed, then you should tell them now, "hire a lawyer or I will resign". Then let them decide if they want you in that role enough to listen to you. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnitWit Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 You could seek your own legal advice for the things you signed. I would resign, but I would make copies of everything I discovered after the fact as well as anything I signed. I would probably just write out a statement while issues/dates are fresh in my mind so that I could document my understanding of the situation when I took the position and the things that came to my knowledge after the fact. I would include the things that I signed and why, as well as a copy of my letter of resignation which would show that I clearly gave the ultimatum for legal representation or my resignation. I would hope that those things would leave me out of it if trouble boils over. Ugh. You don't need this! I'm assuming this is a typical homeschool *volunteer* situation. Remember...you don't even get PAID for this stress!!! Don't walk...RUN away! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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