mlbuchina Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 I feel like she is being forgotten about. I have to focus so much attention on dd7, that I feel like I am ignoring dd9. She is basically educating herself, and I feel awful. What have you done to keep your other dc from feeling left out? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dbmamaz Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 Thats a hard thing! Can you spend some special mother-daughter time on the weekends and remind her how much you appreciate her letting you work a lot with her sister? are there classes she could take? i remember reading one blog entry about a mom w 2 kids, the younger was autistic, and they had gone out (dinner? movie?) and were getting ice cream afterwards, and the autistic kid tried to hold it together but finally started melting down in the ice cream shop. dh showed up and the autistic kid wanted to go with dh, so mom had the older daughter with her. The daughter said something trying to be supportive and mom just lost it yelling at her . . . and felt so ashamed . . . and it reminded me of so many times throughout the years that my daughter had to take one (or more) for the team . . . when she had to be older than her years, when she had to be responsible for her brother (i was single mom for a while and they were in aftercare, summer camp) . . . i am not very close to her and its one of my biggest regrets, that i wasnt able to make up all of that for her Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghee Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 I feel like she is being forgotten about. I have to focus so much attention on dd7, that I feel like I am ignoring dd9. She is basically educating herself, and I feel awful. What have you done to keep your other dc from feeling left out? :grouphug: I know how you feel. I wonder sometimes if my older kids will resent their little brother, or if they'll feel that I was nicer to him/more interested in him. I know my MIL told me once (in one of her rational and being nice to me states LOL) that her daughter has commented before that MIL "liked DH more" and MIL was aghast. She said she didn't like him more, sometimes even much AT ALL, but she couldn't turn her back on him to do anything with the others. Interestingly HE is also the youngest of three.... I highly suspect he suffered from SPD and ADHD as a child, much like I think we will find out with our youngest. I don't want to hear that from one of my older ones one day. For now, I've found that simply excluding the youngest for a time works best all around. I don't mean locking him up, but I mean I do the oldest two FIRST and let him play (throw him outside LOL). That may mean the youngest does night school (like today :glare:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merry gardens Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 I feel like she is being forgotten about. I have to focus so much attention on dd7, that I feel like I am ignoring dd9. She is basically educating herself, and I feel awful. What have you done to keep your other dc from feeling left out? :grouphug: I feel that way sometimes too. I started doing Barton tutoring (an Orton-Gillingham program for dyslexia) with my other children in part so they don't feel left out. It's a strong phonics program. It takes significantly less time to do it with my non-dyslexics, but they all "get" to do a lesson with me. (I don't stress over it with the others, but I have caught some areas where they had gaps that I didn't know about until we did the program. Sometimes family members may have something similar going on but in lesser degrees so that their learning falls within "normal".) Sometimes we do "therapy" programs and use materials developed for special needs all together. We did that with Callirobics, and it helped improve everyone's handwriting. Many of the learning approaches for special needs compliment all learners well. "Hands-on" activities are both fun and educational. Those methods are usually used with gifted children in "gifted classrooms" too. On-line classes. We took some as a family last year. This year I'm looking at signing up an older child for a couple on-line classes. Books. Lots and lots of books. I find books that will interest them. Independent reading is a wonderful thing. Interests outside of homeschool. Some of mine study dance and piano--taught by other people. We've done co-op classes too. There's varying degrees of parental supervision and responsibilies required. It may or maynot work for you, depending on the specifics of the co-op. Anyway, that's some of what I try to even it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simplyme99 Posted August 5, 2012 Share Posted August 5, 2012 I have the same issue ... and I'm a single parent. I have one child with a LD that I have to spend tons of time with and the younger one "fends" for herself. My youngest DD has one of those photogenic memories though and learns easily (she actually tested Gifted and Talented in 1st grade). But you know there is some resentment/hurt feelings when one child is getting more attention than the other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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