My kids do their chores quickly, contentedly and without complaint......

[Halcyon]

NOT! :glare:

 

We need a system. A chore list, consequences (or something) for bad attitude or backtalk......i get tha i need to basically hover at this point to make sure they dont do a shoddy job...when should i expect them to do their chores without me checking on them?

 

Any ideas? We don't pay for chores, and that's not an option.

[melissel]

When their wives take over? :D

[kalanamak]

No play until work done. This has worked best for us. When kiddo is motivated to get to something he likes, he is an amazing worker.

[Halcyon]

No play until work done. This has worked best for us. When kiddo is motivated to get to something he likes, he is an amazing worker.

 

Right, but dont they tend to rush the jobthen? My kids do, then i need to drag them back to redo their work.

 

I am thinking of adding a Chores subject to their school,calendar, so it's just like any other subject.

[kalanamak]

Right, but dont they tend to rush the jobthen?

 

"I think not" is my reply to that. It does help that while kiddo likes to have his stuff out to play with, he appreciates it all being someplace he can find it when it is put away .... and that he folds his undies "just so".

[Alte Veste Academy]

Well, my kids pretty much do their chores quickly, contentedly, and without complaint. Mostly chores are due to be complete before breakfast, lunch, and bedtime and the major motivating factors are wanting to eat and being eager for bedtime stories, THE highlight of our day here.

 

In the interests of full honesty though, they do get an allowance for chores. The rule we have is that you get no $ for chores that serve only you but you do get paid for chores that serve the family.

[sparrow]

Well, my kids pretty much do their chores quickly, contentedly, and without complaint. Mostly chores are due to be complete before breakfast, lunch, and bedtime and the major motivating factors are wanting to eat and being eager for bedtime stories, THE highlight of our day here.

 

In the interests of full honesty though, they do get an allowance for chores. The rule we have is that you get no $ for chores that serve only you but you do get paid for chores that serve the family.

 

:iagree:I have an old Motivated Moms chore planner that gets put up on the refrigerator. The dates are wrong, but all of the items still need to be checked off for the week. They each have their own colored marker to check things off.

 

An allowance has been a useful motivator here. I like to see them saving and budgeting their money. They think about purchases MUCH more carefully now and take chores more seriously. They like feeling responsible for something and being paid for a good job. Obviously, people have different feelings about allowance, but I'm surprised at the maturity they've shown since we started.

[Mimm]

No electronic entertainment (computer time, video games, movies, etc) till all chores and piano practice is done. They also get paid a certain amount each day, which they only get if they do ALL their chores for the day (all or nothing). And they can get a bonus on weeks where they earn their allowance all seven days. Even with all that, I haven't paid a bonus in months. And I still have to deal with attitudes sometimes but I remind them that they only get paid if they have a good attitude. Chores are just unfun and boring. :p

[Kathleen in VA]

A chore list definitely helps. It's there for all to see - no arguing about whose job is whose. And it is the list demanding the chores be done - not mom. Somehow that seems to make a difference. My dh sat down with my kids and discussed who was going to do what and why, got them to agree the plan was equitable, and then printed out a list which is posted on the fridge. I might still have to remind them from time to time that it's trash day or the windows need cleaning, but they hop right to it when I do.

 

ETA: We don't pay for chores either.

Edited July 28, 2012 by Kathleen in VA

[sparrow]

NOT! :glare:

 

We need a system. A chore list, consequences (or something) for bad attitude or backtalk......i get tha i need to basically hover at this point to make sure they dont do a shoddy job...when should i expect them to do their chores without me checking on them?

 

Any ideas? We don't pay for chores, and that's not an option.

 

May I ask what chores they do? I don't hover. One of my kids is older (12), but my other is the same age as yours.

 

Here are some of their chores:

 

Empty/fill dishwasher

Feed pets (we have several)

Clean bathroom counters/mirrors

Put laundry away

Vacuum

Empty bathroom garbage cans

Water garden

General tidying

Dusting

Wipe down kitchen counters

Change out towels

Strip beds for laundry

 

I think all of these chores could be done with minimal supervision. Some could specifically go to the 10 yo.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

I started adding tasks when dd whines.

[Ellie]

There was a wonderful book called "The Challenge of Raising Cain," by Debe Haller. She devised a ticket system: children earned tickets each day for all sorts of things--getting up and dressed on time in the morning, doing chores, doing assignments, hugging a sibling :-), and more; they got to spend those tickets on Goody Tickets--special time with a parent, a favorite toy or book, whatever. But they also spent those tickets on bad behavior during the week on things like arguing with a parent or sibling ("oh, would you like to argue with Mom? Ok, that will be 2 tickets a minute; go ahead."). At the end of the week they had to buy back items picked up during the week by the Gobble Box before they could buy Goody Tickets.

 

It was a great system.

 

You might be able to find that book. I have two copies, which I am saving for my children. :D

[Vanna]

We do a quarterly reward system for chores. In order to "qualify" for the "prize" at the end of each 3 month period, chores have to be done quickly, consistently, and with a cheerful attitude.

 

When they were younger, I wrote out their chores on halved indexed cards (and the day(s) they were to do a particular job) and they wore them in a pocket ID badge holder around their neck till their chores were all done. (Nowadays, they have the listing on a paper on their wall or in a drawer.)

 

I print out individual calendars for each child and if a chore goes undone or not done properly, they get an "X" on the calendar for that day. I will give a warning before the first X at the beginning of the quarter, but no more after that. Three Xs in a month -- that child is "out" of the running for the prize.

 

OP, I know you said you don't pay for chores and I essentially agree with that. "You live here for free, eat for free, you, child, should contribute to the upkeep of this house.";) However, I have found this quarterly prize to be an excellent motivator for my children doing their chores w/o constant reminders, warnings, threats, etc.

[TKDmom]

My family is hardly stellar in this area. :tongue_smilie: In fact I almost posted this thread topic yesterday.

 

But lately, I have been more consistent in demanding that they do their assigned chores before screen time (or swimming or whatever is it they want to do that day). They have to let me check their work before they can run off to have fun. It is still painful for me because 7yo ds in particular whines a lot when I point out all the papers stuffed in the corner that he hasn't picked up. But it seems to have improved some as I have been consistent, firm, and patient (meaning, I don't try to rush them or lose my temper when they are dragging their feet).

 

I'm :bigear: to hear what works for others.

[Katy]

Depending on ages:

 

Have you tried the whole, "Since no one can get their chores done properly alone, all of us are going to work together until all the chores are done correctly thing?" It's more fun, but takes 3 times as long.

 

And then the kids who do get their chores done right can do them alone, and they get extra screen time, or whatever your family's reward is.

 

When they see it's not "Mom's making me do chores she should do herself," but "this stuff has to be done, we can do it together OR I can do it myself and get to the fun stuff."

 

Heck, I'm in my 30's, and I still find washing dishes much more pleasurable when DH is helping than when I'm stuck in a kitchen alone.

 

 

 

The other option, the military option, is that when you know someone knows how to do something correctly and isn't doing it, to point it out and to punish them, with extra chores or whatever consequence is most dire to that child. I might reserve that for teenagers.

 

 

 

Have you had their vision checked? I remember once a friend was complaining about her daughter's apparent inability to sweep a floor, but then she realized the poor kid would have qualified as legally blind without glasses. Daughter got glasses, floors and everything she touches are MUCH neater.

[Mommyof4ks]

We have chore time prior to school. Each child has their daily list of making their bed, picking up stuff around the house that belongs to them, and then one family chore like sweeping or whatever. There are 4 of us cleaning, so that is 20 chores a week, and that is just about all we have in order to maintain our house.

[myfunnybunch]

We have a written posted chore list so that the boys know what to do.

 

We have a verbal prompt: "Cheerfully, quickly, and well!" It is a shortcut reminder to do an attitude check, but it came out of a discussion about how to have a peaceful home and everyone doing their part.

 

At 10 and 7, I would expect that they need at least periodic checking for well-done chores. Some things, like pet care, are simple; others, like cleaning under the sink, might need a little more checking to make sure all steps were completed. I do not follow them around. I do use simple reminders like, "Please check your chore list to make sure everything is done." They get called back to re-do chores that are not done or not done well.

 

When things get out of hand and I find myself offering too many reminders, I institute a fine system: First reminder, 5 cents; 2nd reminder, 10 cents; 3rd reminder, 25 cents; 4th and above, loss of privilege. It is understood that this is meant to be a short-term system and it goes away once the offender is back in the habit of doing chores with minimal reminding. It is also understood that it is my intentional choice to implement fines instead of getting frustrated and nagging or yelling. If they don't want to pay, they have the choice of doing things promptly and properly the first time.

 

Routine is our friend:

My boys do daily chores immediately after breakfast, immediately following self-care. (I do not count making their own beds or brushing teeth as chores, though I know some folks do.) They help with dinner clean-up every evening after dinner. It's almost automatic at this point.

 

The morning chore chart stays the same throughout the school year. Each child does a different chore each weekday morning throughout the week, but the weekly list does not change. (Ex: 7 y.o. cleans door handles, stair rails, and light switches every Monday; cleans the playroom every Tuesday; etc.)

 

We all clean the house on Saturday mornings. The boys know that they will do three household chores and clean their bird cages before going to play.

 

Chores must be completed before play, and all chores and music practice and schoolwork must be done before 5:30 or they do not get to play screens.

 

The attitude....sigh....They're usually pretty good about it, especially the routine stuff, but sometimes not so much.

 

We played a game on our vacation. The game was called "Yes, Mom!" (heh) I told them there would be times we needed to get stuff done, and my goal was to enjoy vacation. Every time I gave a direction and they replied immediately to let me know they'd heard me and/or completed the task in a timely manner, they got to mark a point. A certain number of points earned ice cream. I made a bonus star section for things that went above and beyond, like noticing things that needed to be done and doing them without being asked, or being extra kind of helpful. I reminded them that these are daily expectations in a smooth-running household, but things had been slipping and I wanted to get back on track. When we were done, we all noticed how peaceful and relaxed we'd been, and the boys are still working hard at the good attitude. :)

 

Honestly, I think the key (in a nutshell) is routine and the reminders and discussions about chores as a part of a peaceful home. HTH.

 

Cat

[mrs.m]

I never expect the "contentedly" part. Even I can't do that one... ;) I don't want to hear about it either. But I think my kids know that throwing a fit will put them in a place they don't want to be! (loss of electronics, friend time, yucky jobs, etc.)

 

I have a chore system but that doesn't mean that it gets done correctly every time. I'm often too tired to take the effort to have them re-do it. I think the key is to make sure that you aren't giving them something that is too much for their attention span or abilities. I did that and had to change things around. And I train when they start new chores so that my expectations of "done" are laid out. There has been a quality improvement since then.

Edited July 28, 2012 by jannylynn

[freesia]

I never expect the "contentedly" part. Even I can't do that one... ;) I don't want to hear about it either. But I think my kids know that throwing a fit will put them in a place they don't want to be! (loss of electronics, friend time, yucky jobs, etc.)

 

I have a chore system but that doesn't mean that it gets done correctly every time. I'm often too tired to take the effort to have them re-do it. I think the key is to make sure that you aren't giving them something that is too much for their attention span or abilities. I did that and had to change things around. And I train when they start new chores so that my expectations of "done" are laid out. There has been a quality improvement since then.

That's what I keep thinking every time I see the title of this thread.:001_smile:

 

I *try* to model a good attitude toward work. Managers of Their Chores has worked the best of any system in our house.

[justLisa]

I do not exactly epitomize the best of habits, but I try to just always have a good attitude at least. Cleaning sucks :lol:

 

We don't really have assigned chores, but I do expect them to help to some degree. Usually I just pick a time of day, and say "We are all going to clean up for x minutes." I set the timer on the stove and turn on music. Really awesome 80's music often because they like it LOL. I may ask what they'd rather do or something, and then go at it. Or I say what needs to be done and pick one or two things. Usually they pick the fun things like vacuuming so I make them share that one :D

[Catherine]

At my kids' ages, 19, 15 and 11, it is more and more rare to get a lot of resistance when there are chores to be done. But I also am pretty accepting of their efforts, as long as they at least tried. I think it's nattering to insist they go back repeatedly until it's "done right" as long as their effort was good. I don't want them to hate chores, but to see them as a part of living together as a family, so I usually focus more on completion than perfection. Pride often follows and they want it do be done nicely and carefully. Following Flylady's wise guidance on that one :001_smile:

[TKDmom]

At my kids' ages, 19, 15 and 11, it is more and more rare to get a lot of resistance when there are chores to be done. But I also am pretty accepting of their efforts, as long as they at least tried. I think it's nattering to insist they go back repeatedly until it's "done right" as long as their effort was good. I don't want them to hate chores, but to see them as a part of living together as a family, so I usually focus more on completion than perfection. Pride often follows and they want it do be done nicely and carefully. Following Flylady's wise guidance on that one :001_smile:

 

:iagree: I try not to expect perfection. If they got the room mostly clean and made an honest effort, I let minor things slide. But if they just slopped through their work and claim, "I'm done" when toys still litter the floor, I start getting stricter.

 

To compensate for this "good enough" cleaning, I go through every few weeks and help them clean their rooms thoroughly.

[mom2hunangirls]

Right, but dont they tend to rush the jobthen? My kids do, then i need to drag them back to redo their work.

 

I am thinking of adding a Chores subject to their school,calendar, so it's just like any other subject.

 

I'm so glad I'm not alone. I'm so sick of checking behind them.

[bobbeym]

Can't help feeling like it's only my teens that don't do chores cheerfully, completely, or correctly, even though I'm sure I'm not alone. :glare:

 

My boys are 18 and 14 and have had the same basic chores for years: pet care, dishes, laundry, trash. They aren't paid for them - it's expected of them as part of their role in our family and as part of their training up to lead their own households some day. Yet every single day we have to remind them to do x,y,z and often take away screen time b/c something hasn't been done.

 

I'd give them credit for doing a reasonable job of it, if it was even enough to be considered a reasonable job. They know our expectations for each specific job, yet choose to not follow-through and then complain and grumble and whine when they don't get what they want as a result. I just don't get it. :confused:

[Trilliums]

My boys are older (14 yo and 15 yo). We have never done allowance for chores. I show them how to do a chore and tell them they should do it the same way. They are pretty good about their basic, daily chores: dishwasher, sweep, pet care, laundry. I do not have to write them out but every afternoon I ask if they have done their chores. We have several things they do more or less weekly like wipe down appliances, clean sliding glass door and mirrors, mop, vaccuum. On those days I write out what they have to do. This summer I put a list every couple of days on top of the computer for them to do. I rarely demand chores from them(withhold privleges until they are done, etc) but I do ask them for help consistently and they know it is just part of being in the family.

 

My kids didn't start doing the dishes until they could reach the higher cabinets. When they were younger they helped with laundry, swept, helped cook, did pet care, cleaned walls, "mopped" the floor (wet dishrags) and helped in the garden a lot. We also did a lot of family cleaning times. I didn't assign chores for them to do on their own, but we all worked together at the same time. It wasn't until around 11-12 yo that they really started doing their chores on their own. This coincided with a move to a larger house. We still tend to do laundry together. Or I leave them to do a big pile of socks .... That can take them close to an hour because if sock theatrics! I don't mind if they have fun though. Really, they are growing up so fast, it is great to see them play around with each other.

[jewellsmommy]

NOT! :glare:

 

We need a system. A chore list, consequences (or something) for bad attitude or backtalk......i get tha i need to basically hover at this point to make sure they dont do a shoddy job...when should i expect them to do their chores without me checking on them?

 

Any ideas? We don't pay for chores, and that's not an option.

 

 

 

I think this might be the Holy Grail of raising children. :lol:

 

I have one of those hanging holders that you put sentence strips in. I made up nice, colorful, business card size cards with chores and descriptions on them.

 

There are personal chore reminders like make bed, brush teeth, pick up room (remove trash, put dirty clothes in personal hamper, put away excess toys, an item or ongoing toy may stay out). Friday is the clean your room (ALL things put away and start fresh)day. On Tues ds turns in his laundry to be washed, dd on Mondays. I have a card for change sheets that is added every other week.

 

Then there are family chores. Dd feeds and waters all pets/cleans food and water bowls, cleans the living room, folds towels, helps clear dinner table, and transfers laundry from washer to dryer. Ds sweeps the downstairs, cleans the bathroom (the one used almost exclusively by him* for good reason :001_huh: ), and cleans/sets the table for dinner.

 

Finally, there is a personal enrichment card that has 5 min. of devotional/quiet/prayer time, 20 min of reading minimum, and 10 min focus on/work on AWANA scriptures.

 

The cards are self explanatory and decorated with wolves for ds and hippos for dd. When a card is completed, then a smiley face card is placed in front of the chore card.

 

If one has done all of their cards (minus night time bed routine) without fuss and bother, then that child may opt to do a pay-for card.

[stripe]

he folds his undies "just so".

 

Goodness! I'm happy when they're shoved in the right drawer!

[bobbeym]

Quote:Originally Posted by kalanamak

he folds his undies "just so".

Goodness! I'm happy when they're shoved in the right drawer!

 

Shoosh, I'd be beyond thrilled if they at least got put in the correct bedroom! :svengo:

[brendag]

Accountable Kids - You have to be consistent, but it works for us!

 

Brenda

[mom2myboys]

Accountable Kids - You have to be consistent, but it works for us!

 

Brenda

 

Accountable Kids has worked great for us, too.

[Halcyon]

Accountable Kids - You have to be consistent, but it works for us!

 

Brenda

This looks great. Beyond my price range at the moment, unfortunately, but it does look great.

[TravelingChris]

I tried everything. Basically I have two that complain and one that doesn't. Yes, I did manage to get the two grumpies to complain less but that is there personality. Middle one is the little red hen type of person.

[CalicoKat]

NOT! :glare:

 

We need a system. A chore list, consequences (or something) for bad attitude or backtalk......i get tha i need to basically hover at this point to make sure they dont do a shoddy job...when should i expect them to do their chores without me checking on them?

 

Any ideas? We don't pay for chores, and that's not an option.

 

A system only works as good as the supervisor managing it.

 

Personally I think it's better not to have a system. I struggle with follow through on the supervision piece. And hence, I create more bad habits because I don't check their work. If I just ask them to something that I need done NOW I know I will be watching to make sure it's done, done right, and with a good attitude.

 

For my 13 year old: I've given her this message. "Don't ask me what you can do or how I need help. Look at what I'm doing and say, "Here let me finish that for you I can do it." Or just jump in where you see you can help. Be a self-starter."

 

I do give her jobs to do, but I've noticed that she's been "going the extra mile" once she gets started and she's taking initiative on things that need to be done without me saying a thing.

 

For the rest, I rope one in for dishes and another for a load of laundry, and the littles I get to straighten the entry way daily.A quick pick up is planned right after meal times when we're straightening up.

 

Informal, but it's giving me better long-term results.