Anyone else have a panicky overwhelmed feeling?

[brownie]

I've been moving along ok for 3 years of homeschooling. All of a sudden I have a panicky feeling that I've done a poor job and how can I possibly get through another year? What if I'm messing them up and making things harder for them later? Their quality of work and attention to detail is poor because I've focused on learning and not productivity. When I noticed what I was asking of my youngest today and realized that it didn't compare with what I had asked of my middle in our 1st year of homeschooling and at a lower grade level, I wanted to cry. All three want to homeschool but complain about doing the work. We have started up gently again after 2 months off and I just feel like shipping them off to the ps where someone else can be responsible for once :)

Brownie

[Mommy7]

That panicky feeling hits all of us from time to time. It will pass. You have not ruined them. ;) You guys are just getting adjusted to starting school again. You can always gradually up your expectations of them as the year progresses if it isn't where you want it to be. The ps won't love them like you do or care about their progress like you do either!!! Hang in there!

[justamouse]

:grouphug:

 

I have that at the beginning of every year and every few months of the year. I think it just comes with this incredible responsibility we have.

 

Hang in there.

[Alte Veste Academy]

I get that feeling from time to time. Then I remember, "Slow and steady wins the race."

 

I am a bit :lol: because of your signature though. If the kids are working at those levels, I imagine they are doing just fine!

[shanvan]

:grouphug:

 

I have that at the beginning of every year and every few months of the year. I think it just comes with this incredible responsibility we have.

 

Hang in there.

 

:iagree:and I have that panicky feeling too. Sometimes I even wake up in the middle of the night with it! True story: Earlier this week as I was drifting off to sleep I couldn't remember if I ordered or received Ds's Latin text. I actually got up and looked for it at 1am! Then when I found it I started wondering if I had ordered the right edition. I opened my email and checked the course requirements. Everything was fine, of course.:glare:

[Momma4Boys]

Every. Single. Year. Without fail...a mother's curse - we never feel like we are doing enough :D

 

:grouphug: :grouphug:

[MerryAtHope]

If the kids are working at those levels, I imagine they are doing just fine!

 

:iagree: Looks like they are doing plenty & advanced stuff!

 

Even my dd who really enjoys school will complain about it. Don't let the grumpies get you down! I do work on attitude at times & overall mine do have a pretty good attitude. Hang in there!!

[SorrelZG]

I get that feeling randomly. It's like I just suddenly lose sight of the plan. The vision fades and I'm left thinking, "What on earth am I DOING?!" :scared:

 

I am a bit :lol: because of your signature though. If the kids are working at those levels, I imagine they are doing just fine!

 

Err .. yeah. I agree. Looks like your fine with some wiggle room to boot.

[TracyR]

I used to have that feeling all of the time, every year. That is until my girls actually went to school. Now they are all back home this year and I know without a shadow of a doubt we definitely do plenty here at home.

My girls didn't do half as much being in a private school. I know when my oldest went the year before, she told me at the beginning of our school year we were going back to homeschooling that they did NO English at all the entire year. My 2nd daughter informed me today that they did very little American History , and the World History book I bought came in the mail today. Thinking that I was going to bore her with doing another year of American History. Ugh.

 

Trust me , you are doing enough and you are doing plenty. Just take a deep breath and know your doing just fine and you are doing more than any private or public school will do with them.

[Maverick_Mom]

Every. Single. Year. Without fail...a mother's curse - we never feel like we are doing enough :D

 

:grouphug: :grouphug:

 

 

Yup. I feel as if I *live* in that state sometimes. Like right now.

[Hunter]

I used to cry myself to sleep all the time. The more I accomplished with my 2E kid, the more pressure people put on me to do more with him. He "deserved" all sorts of expensive and difficult to implement things, I was told, because he was "special". The more I gave him what he "deserved" the more "special" he became. It was a never ending spiral of failure on my part :-0

 

My older son outweighed me by at least 100 pounds by the time he was 14, informed me he was using a secular general (aka dumbed down) correspondence course and going out to work 4 days a week. I kinda didn't have any other options, but to let him. People never pressured me about the older son and just laughed themselves silly. He ended out putting himself through junior college with no help from me, graduated at 19, and took off for Las Vegas. He took every short cut possible, and scared the pants off me, but it worked out for him. He got married and bought a house at 24 and pays more in taxes than his father and I's incomes combined, so... :-0

 

There were times when I treated my 2E kid like he was just a kid, and those ended out being the best times, that accomplished the most. The days I tried to give him what he deserved didn't accomplish as much as I was in over my head and not teaching with my strengths.

 

Sometimes I used to get this mythical idea of what public high school was like and actually tried to reenroll my son. They refused to take him back, after his dramatic exit, and the very unusual test scores he had accumulated while homeschooling.

 

My boys are grown. I'm divorced now and live in a city. I self-educate and tutor a bit now. I have adult friends who have done all sorts of non traditional things concerning college and have gone with them to look to at schools. My foot is still always in the educational door.

 

We make it harder than it needs to be. Schools and other homeschools are often only showing us a pretend facade of what is REALLY going on behind closed doors. The biggest worries is when we try to copy a facade.

 

Also trying to culture hop is stressful, and trying to get a child DIRECTLY into a college far above what you went to, is culture hopping. Transfers are a whole other story when culture hopping, and I continue to be amazed at how open prestigious colleges are to promising and non traditional transfer students, who did well at junior college.

 

Putting academics before character and spiritual training never produces long term results. Backing off on academics and doing more chores often helps.

 

Homeschooling is a marathon, not a sprint. Trying to run too fast will make the kids passive-aggressive and burn you out. Make sure you are running at YOUR pace, no matter what you THINK other people are doing.

 

And always make sure everyone is well fed. Things always look worse on an empty stomach.

Edited July 28, 2012 by Hunter

[JR the hs dad]

I would encourage you to look at all of the wonderful things that are implied by your comments:

 

1) You are intimately familiar with the strengths and weaknesses of your kids, not just in academics but in their personalities.

2) You are also familiar with how they are different from each other.

3) Your vision for learning is not strictly based on production.

4) You love them deeply!

 

Who could possibly be a better teacher to these kids than you? Where else could you send them where they would be individually shepherded this way?

 

When I feel overwhelmed, I try to remember the great liberty and freedom we have with homeschooling. We can slow down, speed up, experiment with different approaches, or take a break. Our first goal is real learning, not keeping to a schedule that moves at a constant rate. When I feel overwhelmed, it's often because I've let the schedule mindset take priority over learning. Remember that you're free to slow down and work on the areas where your kids most need it!

[Mommyfaithe]

:grouphug:

 

I have that at the beginning of every year and every few months of the year. I think it just comes with this incredible responsibility we have.

 

Hang in there.

 

Me too. Every darn year I go through the " How the heck am I going to do this for another year?? " panic attack.

 

Then, I just jump in and begin....no grand plans or fanfare....just start one subject. This year we started with WWE. Next week I will add math....then history and science.....etc.

 

Oh, I usually panic again every February...usually about math.....:tongue_smilie:

[DianeW88]

Nope. Since my two oldest are graduated from homeschool, thriving in college, and constantly getting compliments from their professors on their work ethic and their writing (oh, how I sweated over writing curriculum), I've allowed myself a pat on the back.

 

My youngest is starting 6th grade this year in our homeschool, and I'm so excited! Now that I've learned to relax about our curriculum and how I teach, I'm enjoying every minute of it.

 

I expect my newfound attitude will only benefit him, as a panicky mom thinking, "My child will NEVER be successful in life because we didn't study 'x,y, or z'" couldn't possibly be conducive to learning. :D

[CatholicMom]

Yep!! All the time. Sometimes I'm randomly sitting down eating lunch or something and get a feeling of panic / feel like I'm going to cry. (Yes, I'm crazy.) j/k I think it is that I had time to relax and it just occurs to me for the smallest split second how much I have on my plate (the figurative one) and I instantly react emotionally with feelings of being utterly overwhelmed... with parenting and homeschooling. I would bet this happens more when I'm tired and need a nap, as I get much more emotional when I'm tired and I need a lot of sleep.

 

As hard as it is, try to make sure you're sleeping enough (8 hrs doesn't cut it for some people -especially if you're a busy mama) and eating reasonably healthy so you are physically up for the challenges you face daily. But I'm not one to talk. :tongue_smilie:

 

But, yes. I recently began attending a local homeschool group and the more I talk to real moms, the more I see that, yes, this is hard for (almost) everyone else, too... especially if you have multiple children. It is frightening in a way, but actually builds my confidence to realize, Wow, I'm not the only one who hasn't figured this stuff out. And I'm not the only one who cries about school once a week (I used to cry daily). I was especially glad that my dh heard some of the moms talk about having breakdowns, how it's still hard for them to homeschool with little ones even though they have been doing it for years and have 11 kids. I think it showed him, that I'm not unusually deficient or weak... this is just dang hard. But all the moms also agreed that it is so worth it. Now and again we are reminded. When we see some ps brats teasing about things that aren't even on our kids' radars, when we hear of shootings, suicides, what they are teaching at "sex ed" at the local school, when we see other siblings shunning younger ones and realize our family is totally different... We remember why we do it.

 

You are not alone. :grouphug:

[...................]

I get that feeling when I am using a CM style. I also got that feeling when I was using Sub-par Writing programs, or math prOgrams.

 

It's all well and good when I hear that a program is "gentle" or "relaxed" but then in reality that turns out worse for my

Children as they are working under their potential, behind their peers, and not receiving adequate enforcement and review. Without adequate oracrice and review, it's MORE stressful for my kids (leaning over books saying "I forgot this!".

 

And it's more stressful for me, as I know I'm not giving my kids the best education I can.

 

That's why programs that are challenging, with plenty of review, above public school standards, and clearly laid out works for me. (Saxon, Horizons, Abeka, Etc.)

[shanvan]

Me too. Every darn year I go through the " How the heck am I going to do this for another year?? " panic attack.

 

Then, I just jump in and begin....no grand plans or fanfare....just start one subject. This year we started with WWE. Next week I will add math....then history and science.....etc.

 

Oh, I usually panic again every February...usually about math.....:tongue_smilie:

 

What? You've started? :w00t: I keep telling myself not to worry about anything,after all I can just do like Faith...hang out in the garden and stop worrying about curriculum. Now I'm going to have to look for another excuse to avoid all things schoolish. We won't be starting until Sept, except for Ds's Latin class. However, I do have some grand planning to do! :lol:

 

[Blossom'sGirl]

I usually don't feel inferior to PS, but many times I feel that way to this board. My boys don't "love" school. They don't beg to read, write or do advanced math. They would much rather be doing their own creative whatever.

 

But yet ... I love that I am challenged here to explore curriculum, knowing that we have a multitude of choices in many subjects. They are not just getting an institutionalized education.

 

I do usually have a slight PS panic the first weeks of school. All year I need to be constantly encouraging and confirming myself through forums, online speakers, and prayer to remind myself WHY I am doing this.

[brownie]

I appreciate the comments.

 

I also appreciate the assurance that we are doing enough based on our Curricula choices.

 

The panic isn't over academic level. It is over the fact that it is about so much more than academic level or the right curriculum. Are they learning the values of hard work and persistence? Are they ever going to learn organizational skills? Are they learning proper social skills? (not peer social skills but skills for adulthood?) study skills?

 

The panic is mounting over the realization that the older they get, the more it is about life skills and not about what it is exactly that they are studying. I didn't really comprehend this when I started out on this journey. Life skills kind of stayed out of school and school was about learning specific academic information.

 

Brownie

[tuzor]

It appears that you are in like company. I find myself paniky at certian times during the year. Now in planning mode middle of the year and close to year end. Sometimes I panick because my oldest doesn't know some things I feel he should and when he is questioned by others I get nervous about what he will say and what others are thinking. Its crazy I know but its the truth.

 

I've been moving along ok for 3 years of homeschooling. All of a sudden I have a panicky feeling that I've done a poor job and how can I possibly get through another year? What if I'm messing them up and making things harder for them later? Their quality of work and attention to detail is poor because I've focused on learning and not productivity. When I noticed what I was asking of my youngest today and realized that it didn't compare with what I had asked of my middle in our 1st year of homeschooling and at a lower grade level, I wanted to cry. All three want to homeschool but complain about doing the work. We have started up gently again after 2 months off and I just feel like shipping them off to the ps where someone else can be responsible for once :)

Brownie

 

:grouphug:

 

I have that at the beginning of every year and every few months of the year. I think it just comes with this incredible responsibility we have.

 

Hang in there.

 

:iagree:

:iagree:and I have that panicky feeling too. Sometimes I even wake up in the middle of the night with it! True story: Earlier this week as I was drifting off to sleep I couldn't remember if I ordered or received Ds's Latin text. I actually got up and looked for it at 1am! Then when I found it I started wondering if I had ordered the right edition. I opened my email and checked the course requirements. Everything was fine, of course.:glare:

How about I have been up every night for a week until 4 am figuring out HST + and working in the classroom to get it ready for next year.

 

 

Homeschooling is a marathon, not a sprint. Trying to run too fast will make the kids passive-aggressive and burn you out. Make sure you are running at YOUR pace, no matter what you THINK other people are doing.

 

And always make sure everyone is well fed. Things always look worse on an empty stomach.

 

Its good to be reminded that we are in it for the long haul and to pace ourselves.

[HarbourLights]

I just went thru what I'm finding to be my annual 'Freak Out & Start Researching Local Public Schools Online' session last week. I know that my boys are doing more than fine academically, but I will admit to wondering about the 'social' side. I worry that maybe somehow I'm not seeing how or where they may need improvement in this area... and then a friend of mine moved here with her son (who is just two weeks younger) and who has been in PS from the very beginning... and I see my boys interacting with him... and they are just fine. There is no difference, not even a little, in their interaction with one another. They are not awkward. They are not introverted. They are just seven year old boys. So I took my annual 'Deep Breath After Annual Freak Out' and I've moved forward. Bring on 2nd grade!

[Mommyfaithe]

What? You've started? :w00t: I keep telling myself not to worry about anything,after all I can just do like Faith...hang out in the garden and stop worrying about curriculum. Now I'm going to have to look for another excuse to avoid all things schoolish. We won't be starting until Sept, except for Ds's Latin class. However, I do have some grand planning to do! :lol:

 

 

:lol::lol:

One subject! ONE....really only part of one....haha....that we never finished last year....have to start somewhere!

 

I am not worrying .....just figured I should get those little guys doing something....anything.....besides hanging out playing Lego and computer games....lol. I love summer!!!!!

[Alte Veste Academy]

I appreciate the comments.

 

I also appreciate the assurance that we are doing enough based on our Curricula choices.

 

The panic isn't over academic level. It is over the fact that it is about so much more than academic level or the right curriculum. Are they learning the values of hard work and persistence? Are they ever going to learn organizational skills? Are they learning proper social skills? (not peer social skills but skills for adulthood?) study skills?

 

The panic is mounting over the realization that the older they get, the more it is about life skills and not about what it is exactly that they are studying. I didn't really comprehend this when I started out on this journey. Life skills kind of stayed out of school and school was about learning specific academic information.

 

Brownie

 

:grouphug: First off, I am sorry for minimizing your concerns. I wasn't understanding the whole picture. I do get periodic feelings of panic--over academics, friendships and social opportunities, work ethic... I get it. Still though, what gets me past it is remembering that slow and steady wins the race. I spend some time reflecting on my concerns and then I make a plan. Usually I try a baby step toward the worrisome goal right away and then build steam.

 

I will admit that I often feel like I have a ridiculous number of plates spinning. Sometimes I just need to ask DH to spin a plate or two for me. He is awesome at spinning the work ethic plate! Priceless! :lol: Joining swim team was also good for the work ethic plate, and simultaneously spins the friend, internal motivation, and teamwork plates. Recruit, recruit, recruit where you can. I always feel better about my worries and fears when I address them head on.

[Alte Veste Academy]

I wanted to mention that SWB has some great audio lectures that might be good for you to hear (if you haven't already). I love them all but the ones about teaching kids to work independently and HSing the real child are appropriate for many of us panicked moms. :)

[SunnyDays]

I just went thru what I'm finding to be my annual 'Freak Out & Start Researching Local Public Schools Online' session last week.

 

Oh, you do this too?? :lol: Maybe we should all coordinate schedules!

 

We're just starting our second year, and I thought I'd have it all together this year. :lol: Aren't I funny?? ;) I'm not exactly panicked, but I still feel like I'm not ready, and still making last minute decisions.

[Alphabetika]

This, too, shall pass. Sometimes I think it's the temporary panic that keeps me energized. ;) :grouphug: