Am I the weird one?

[MrsBasil]

A little over a month ago we had to put down my 10 year old cat. We all loved her, she was a very friendly, patient, outgoing cat who was good with the kids. DS misses her and, for a few days, took her abscence kind of hard. Then he moved on.

 

In the past week he's had 3 episodes of being scared at night and claiming he's seeing a shadow cat trying to get under his bed to sleep. He mentioned it might have been our other(still alive)cat. His door is shut at night, so that's unlikely. I've assured him there's no cat under hus bed, shadows just look like things, it's ok to be scared and to yell for me, but there's no cat. Shadow or not.

 

This is the first time I've dealt with "nightmares", so I consulted some friends with older kids. Everyone of them expressed that maybe my cat had come home. :confused:

 

Since my cat did get lost shortly before she died, I clarifed. This cat had been found, got sick, and was euthanized. They knew. They all thought the likely explanation was that it was my dead cat. :001_huh: they also thought my DS 3 might find this comforting. :blink:

 

An wider, informal poll shows that the majority of people I know think this is possible or likely. I am a tiny minority who thinks it's....preposterous.

 

 

So, am I the weird one here?

[Caitilin]

No, I do not think you're the weird one. However, maybe asking your priest to come and bless ds' room specially would be a good idea. :001_smile:

[jewellsmommy]

I could see someone saying that in jest, but not seriously :001_huh:.

It is likely that the cat's death is still on his mind and he is incorporating that into his dreams. But, no, please don't tell your child that a ghost cat has come back for a visit and has selected his bed as the hiding spot.:glare:

 

 

 

A little over a month ago we had to put down my 10 year old cat. We all loved her, she was a very friendly, patient, outgoing cat who was good with the kids. DS misses her and, for a few days, took her abscence kind of hard. Then he moved on.

 

In the past week he's had 3 episodes of being scared at night and claiming he's seeing a shadow cat trying to get under his bed to sleep. He mentioned it might have been our other(still alive)cat. His door is shut at night, so that's unlikely. I've assured him there's no cat under hus bed, shadows just look like things, it's ok to be scared and to yell for me, but there's no cat. Shadow or not.

 

This is the first time I've dealt with "nightmares", so I consulted some friends with older kids. Everyone of them expressed that maybe my cat had come home. :confused:

 

Since my cat did get lost shortly before she died, I clarifed. This cat had been found, got sick, and was euthanized. They knew. They all thought the likely explanation was that it was my dead cat. :001_huh: they also thought my DS 3 might find this comforting. :blink:

 

An wider, informal poll shows that the majority of people I know think this is possible or likely. I am a tiny minority who thinks it's....preposterous.

 

 

So, am I the weird one here?

[Catwoman]

I would think that if his cat had really "come back home," your ds wouldn't be afraid of it.

 

Personally, I would just tell my own ds that his cat's spirit might be coming back to say goodbye and let you know she's OK, or that the cat is watching over him like a guardian angel.

 

I know that sentiment isn't popular here, and I am already waiting for Bill (SpyCar) to stop in and tell me I'm nuts, but that's what I'd do.

 

And part of me just wants to see Bill -- I haven't met up with him in any threads lately and I'm wondering how he's doing. :tongue_smilie:

 

If you don't believe in any sort of supernatural stuff, I'd stick with the "you just had a bad dream because you're missing Shadow," story.

 

In any case, I'm sure there's nothing to worry about from Shadow, so even if you're a little creeped out, I don't think there's any need to take any sort of action to get "her" out of your house.

 

In my case, I would think it was pretty cool that she came back.

 

Oh -- and FWIW, I don't think you're the weird one. I know that I'm the weird one! :)

[MrsBasil]

No, I do not think you're the weird one. However, maybe asking your priest to come and bless ds' room specially would be a good idea. :001_smile:

 

I'm afraid that will just make DS either more convinced the cat is real or freak him out. After we set up are icon corner and started praying there regularly DS insisted for weeks there was a gold person floating next to it. He wasn't scared, just insistent.

 

I think he has vivid dreams and a vivid imagination. I could ask Father what he thinks though, if this continues. Thanks.

 

I could see someone saying that in jest, but not seriously :001_huh:.

It is likely that the cat's death is still on his mind and he is incorporating that into his dreams. But, no, please don't tell your child that a ghost cat has come back for a visit and has selected his bed as the hiding spot.:glare:

 

Yes, I thought that was weird to. He's 3! This afternoon he woke up from his nap to tell me the cat came back, but his stuffed tiger rescued him. He was more nonchalant this time, so maybe I'll just keep down playing it and hope it passes.

 

I would think that if his cat had really "come back home," your ds wouldn't be afraid of it.

 

Personally, I would just tell my own ds that his cat's spirit might be coming back to say goodbye and let you know she's OK, or that the cat is watching over him like a guardian angel.

 

I know that sentiment isn't popular here, and I am already waiting for Bill (SpyCar) to stop in and tell me I'm nuts, but that's what I'd do.

 

And part of me just wants to see Bill -- I haven't met up with him in any threads lately and I'm wondering how he's doing. :tongue_smilie:

 

If you don't believe in any sort of supernatural stuff, I'd stick with the "you just had a bad dream because you're missing Shadow," story.

 

In any case, I'm sure there's nothing to worry about from Shadow, so even if you're a little creeped out, I don't think there's any need to take any sort of action to get "her" out of your house.

 

In my case, I would think it was pretty cool that she came back.

 

Oh -- and FWIW, I don't think you're the weird one. I know that I'm the weird one! :)

 

I'm a Christian, so there is definitely some super natural stuff that I believe in, but ghosts are not on that list. Particularly animal ghosts. I'm not creeped out, just worried that DS is having a hard time with it.

 

Also, I'm bumping this so you have another chance to have your friend tell you you are nuts. :D Err, not that I think that!!

[Little Nyssa]

Mrs B, I think you are right. I would tend to believe the psychological explanation plus vivid imagination. I would never think the deceased cat would 'come home' like that. I have had a lot of beloved cats and they are sweet memories now, that's all.

I suppose you could ask for a general house blessing, not just that particular room, if you happened to miss it in January.:grouphug:

[Catwoman]

:iagree: You aren't the only weird one.

 

Thanks - it's nice to know I'm not the only one.

 

Crazy loves company, you know! :D

[Kirch]

Nope. I think you have weird friends. :D

 

Although I'm not sure which part I think is weirder--that they think the cat has "come home" or that they think you should tell that to your ds.:001_huh:

[Mama_Rana]

MrsBasil, I don't know if it's weird or not, but for months after my cat of 10+ years died, I would "see" her out of the corner of my eye. It was comforting in a way to think that her "spirit" was still here. Whether that spirit was a ghost or just my own memories of her causing visual reflexes or something, I dunno. When we got 2 other cats this past winter [4 or 5 years after the other died], I started seeing her again for a bit. I chose to interpret it as my kitty-baby coming back to check these new cats out for me.

 

Maybe I'm weird. I dunno. We all find comfort in different ways.

[Katy]

Well, to be the "weird one," I'm going to play the devil's advocate. I saw a lot of strange things when I was a little kid. I've seen strange things less often as an adult, but I still do occasionally. I used to question whether it was real, but after a lot of experiences I changed my mind and absolutely believe it's possible. I believe the supernatural exists, I believe it's in a different dimension all around us, and I believe some people are more sensitive and aware of that dimension, especially when they are young or their consciousness is slightly altered - like when they are very sleepy. Having said that, I think it's exploited a lot, so I'd look at everything with a slightly cynical eye.

 

Having said all that, even if this is completely in his imagination, it is real to him. I'm more inclined to think he's just more spiritual and intuitive than you are, so if I were you I'd honor that. Whether that is the case or not, giving him a range of explanations and a ritual to give him some control would be better than telling him it doesn't exist. Whether it's in his imagination or in another dimension, it does exist.

 

I'd sit down with him and tell him something along the lines of this: that lots of people have never seen things like that. That you haven't. Lots of people have seen things like that. Some people think it's not real because they can't catch it or see it or make it happen or experiment with it the way we can with science. Some people are sure it's just that children who see this sort of thing have brains that haven't learned to fall quickly to sleep yet, and that what people are actually seeing is just the beginning of a dream, and is not real. But that other people think these things are real, and that they are seeing angels or ghosts (and, if your religion believes this, even demons). But that these things are not allowed to hurt him, and if he wants, he can tell them to go away.

 

If you are Christian, I'd have him tell these things to, "Go away in Jesus' name!" whenever he is afraid (Part of why I am Christian is that including the Jesus' name part was critical for this working for me when I went through something similar).

 

And then, if I were you, and whether I believed this or not, I would get a little bit of olive oil, mark a cross over the door to his bedroom specifically, and say "I plead the blood of Jesus over this room. I demand that everything that is not from God leave it in Jesus' name." And then I would go around the entire house and do the same thing, declaring that over the entire house. I might even do that with him, as a ritual to "keep any evil from coming near him."

 

And then I would put on some praise and worship music, especially in DS's room, and I would dance and clap and sing with it. I'd have him join me.

 

From a completely secular, psychological viewpoint, even if you see this as wacky it could still do him some good. It will empower him to take control of things that right now he feels powerless about.

[clarkacademy]

Cats are very spiritual. Little boys have big imaginations. It could be anything. I heard stories of cats and had weird occurences with them so I can't say.

[MrsBasil]

Thank you all.

 

I do want to apologize for use of the weird. I was caught off guard by the suggestions and reactions and phrased my question in the wrong way. I do not believe anyone who believes in ghosts is weird.

[clarkacademy]

Thank you all.

 

I do want to apologize for use of the weird. I was caught off guard by the suggestions and reactions and phrased my question in the wrong way. I do not believe anyone who believes in ghosts is weird.

 

Really? AWWW man! I thought you were giving me a compliment. Darn!:lol:

[Sparkle]

I would tend to think that it's his imagination that is making him see things. I believe there are apparitions, etc. that some people do see, but I really don't think the ghost of a cat would be one. I could be wrong, but I think he just misses the cat. When our old cat died about 6 years ago, and my dd was around 3 at the time, she took it really really hard. I was surprised at how upset she was. Maybe because it was her first experience of death, IDK. But she still talks about that cat even now.

[fraidycat]

Maybe you're weird. Maybe I'm weird. Who knows for sure?

 

I believe it could be the spirit of the cat. I also believe it could be your son's imagination. I am leaning toward spirit, since it has happened more than once with little variation.

[Katy]

For those who believe ghosts are possible, but animal ghosts are not possible... why? Is it because you don't think animals have souls?

[iquilt]

If this helps at all, when our dog died and I was 10 years old I started being afraid of the dark and shadows. It was a phase that I overcame as I dealt with her death but I think a perfectly normal way to deal with it. HTH

[laundrycrisis]

Even if someone believes it could be the kitty's spirit paying a visit, why would that be a bad thing ? What's with all the priest, blessings, crosses in oil, prayers to drive it away suggestions ? Why would it be harmful ? In any case, I would just tell him there is nothing to be afraid of. That works whether one believes it's just imagination or something more - but really, a visiting spirit kitty would not be anything to fear.

[Barb_]

Write it all down somewhere and save it for when he's 4-5 years older and can interpret it. I know that doesn't really help you now, but I love having those, "What was really going on when...?" conversations with my older children.

[Scarlett]

Oh Good Grief. You are not the weird one. Comfort your son but don't fill his head with nonsense.

[Katy]

Even if someone believes it could be the kitty's spirit paying a visit, why would that be a bad thing ? What's with all the priest, blessings, crosses in oil, prayers to drive it away suggestions ? Why would it be harmful ? In any case, I would just tell him there is nothing to be afraid of. That works whether one believes it's just imagination or something more - but really, a visiting spirit kitty would not be anything to fear.

 

Two reasons for me:

 

1) If he's afraid, he should have the power to send it away if he wants to.

 

2) If he's afraid, it may be that what appears to be a pet could be something more sinister.

[Catwoman]

MrsBasil, I don't know if it's weird or not, but for months after my cat of 10+ years died, I would "see" her out of the corner of my eye. It was comforting in a way to think that her "spirit" was still here. Whether that spirit was a ghost or just my own memories of her causing visual reflexes or something, I dunno. When we got 2 other cats this past winter [4 or 5 years after the other died], I started seeing her again for a bit. I chose to interpret it as my kitty-baby coming back to check these new cats out for me.

 

Maybe I'm weird. I dunno. We all find comfort in different ways.

 

I have had the same thing happen -- and more than that, so I absolutely understand what you mean.

 

I think this is the kind of situation that people tend to be judgmental about, but my personal feeling is that sometimes different things happen to different people, and I would be very uncomfortable telling them they were weird, wrong, or crazy, just because I had never experienced the same things.

 

I had an aunt who could talk to you on the phone and tell you what you were wearing, so clearly I come from a long line of weird. (And that's just the caboose of our Crazy Train... we've got LOTS of stories! :D)

[Catwoman]

Thank you all.

 

I do want to apologize for use of the weird. I was caught off guard by the suggestions and reactions and phrased my question in the wrong way. I do not believe anyone who believes in ghosts is weird.

 

I can't speak for everyone, but I didn't take any offense at the use of, "weird." I know you didn't intend it in a mean way.

 

And even if you do think that believing in things like cat spirits showing up at your house is weird, you're perfectly entitled to your opinion, and no one should get upset about it.

 

But I'm weird that way... ;)

[Tap]

When my husband is out of town on business, I can still hear him get up in the middle of the night. (we don't sleep in the same bed)

 

To be more exact I should say....There is a noise that I always thought dh made when he got up in the middle of the night. It sounds like the wood frame on our bed making a creaking noise. After living in this house for 10 years, I have came to realize that the bed is not what makes the noise, it is a board on the floor that creaks when the temperature changes at night. It is on the side of the bed where dh sleeps so I always thought it was him getting up. I now think that walking on the same spot makes the same noise, so if he DOES get up and go to the bath room or get a drink of water I hear the same thing. That is why it is so confusing to my brain when he is out of town.

 

 

I wonder if there is something that makes a shadow that your son Thought was the cat for years....but it was just a shadow. Now, his brain is confused.

 

In my living room, out of the corner of my eye, I see a shadow move across the living window on the inside of the room. Since we have two lights on in the room, there is a split shadow of the curtain. If there is a slight movement of the curtain, there is a large shadow movement but it is very faint, so if you look directly at it, you can't see it. It is just the corner of the eye that can pick it up.

 

In the house I grew up in , there was a tree in the yard that created shadow movement in my bedroom, from several hundred feet away. The wind would move the tree in front of the street light, and that would make a faint shadow movement on the wall.

 

 

I wouldn't be quick to dismiss what he is seeing. I would guess it is something like these scenarios where there is a faint shadow being cast that can't be seen when you look directly at it.....OR it is a common shadow that he always thought was one of the cats, but is not really.

 

I would sleep with him and ask him to show you the shadow for a week or so. Maybe you can catch it in motion and explain the movement he is seeing.

[OnTheBrink]

Nope. I think you have weird friends. :D

 

Although I'm not sure which part I think is weirder--that they think the cat has "come home" or that they think you should tell that to your ds.:001_huh:

 

 

Oh Good Grief. You are not the weird one. Comfort your son but don't fill his head with nonsense.

 

:iagree:

[Mommyfaithe]

Nope. I think you have weird friends. :D

 

Although I'm not sure which part I think is weirder--that they think the cat has "come home" or that they think you should tell that to your ds.:001_huh:

 

:iagree::iagree:

:001_huh:

I would just let ds know I miss kitty too, and think about her. Sometimes, when we miss our pets and think about them, we might think we even see them. Lots of hugs, kisses and tucks in.

 

FWIW, after my mom died.....I heard her calling me every night as I fell asleep for months and months. It was horrible! I know it was my mind dealing with losing her after spending the day pretending I was fine. I also know losing your Mom is much harder than losing a kitty....but what does a little boy have to compare to?

 

Kids grieve over their pets....and learn to deal with death over them. This is a new and scary experience for a little one. I would make sure he knew that his feelings were normal and it is ok to miss kitty....and to cry if he needs to.

 

:grouphug: