Personal/Moral dilemma (CC)

[momto2Cs]

Maybe the wisdom of the Hive can help soothe my troubled mind....

 

Back story: I was raised in a primarily non-religious home. My father is a devout atheist, and my mother never seemed to care one way or the other. Flash forward to about 3 years ago, when my sister became involved in a small Pentecostal congregation. Within a year, she had been baptized, and was very involved with her church. My mother soon followed suit. For the next couple of years, they badgered me to go to their services.

 

Finally, I capitulated, and started attending services. I really liked the Pastor, and still do - I have a lot of respect for him. I tried my best to follow his teachings, tried to be a part of the church, etc.

 

The problem is that I find my fundamental beliefs don't match up with Pentecostalism. I don't think I need to speak in tongues on a regular basis, I don't believe in their interpretation of He!!, I think I should be able to cut my hair, wear pants, and celebrate Halloween.

 

I don't want to cause a family rift - I love my mother very much, and she's been a tremendous help over the years. I don't want to offend her. I also don't want to continue attending church three times a week when I don't agree with much of it.

 

Is there any graceful way I can approach this?

[tntgoodwin]

Out of curiosity, what are their beliefs on Hell?

 

And is there another church that lines up with your beliefs better? Perhaps if you were attending there it would be easier to say, "Sorry, but I am going to Church XYZ now, it matches up with my beliefs better. See you afterward for supper!" Or something similar.

[Princess Peach]

Depending on your relationship with your mother, is there any way you can just let her know what you just posted? Just tell her you are not sure where you stand on certain issues right now and you need some space to process everything. Let her know that you are glad it's working for her, but that you need a break. Maybe ask her to pray for you. :grouphug:

[Ellie]

You just need to be gently forthright:

 

Mom, you know I love you biggie bunches, and I appreciate your concern over my spiritual welfare. But this church just isn't the one for me. I appreciate your prayers in helping me find my way, and I'm sure that God will show me which one is right for me.

 

And then gently refuse to discuss it further. :)

[justamouse]

It's so hard, isn't it? :grouphug:

 

I agree with Ellie.

[gardenmom5]

You just need to be gently forthright:

 

Mom, you know I love you biggie bunches, and I appreciate your concern over my spiritual welfare. But this church just isn't the one for me. I appreciate your prayers in helping me find my way, and I'm sure that God will show me which one is right for me.

 

And then gently refuse to discuss it further. :)

:iagree:

[momto2Cs]

Out of curiosity, what are their beliefs on Hell?

 

This is based off last week's sermon on it... basically, it is a place of torture anyone who has done wrong is condemned to. Wrong could mean anything from telling lies to homosexu@lity. From what we were told, it seems more likely for people to go to Hell than not. At the same time, we are being told that God is very loving and forgiving. I can't put these two together successfully.

[Parrothead]

This is based off last week's sermon on it... basically, it is a place of torture anyone who has done wrong is condemned to. Wrong could mean anything from telling lies to homosexu@lity. From what we were told, it seems more likely for people to go to Hell than not. At the same time, we are being told that God is very loving and forgiving. I can't put these two together successfully.

Wow! That is harsh.

 

I agree with Ellie. Gently let her know you won't be attending anymore and gently pass the bean dip if/when it is brought up. :grouphug:

[milovany]

Not sure I have any wisdom to add, just wanted to send a hug. :grouphug:

[momto2Cs]

Thank you ladies, for the :grouphug: and the advice.

 

You're right. I do need to just approach this with her, and be honest but gentle about it. The problem is that I hate to be the one to stir the pot, so to speak, and it seems I always am... homeschooling, attachment parenting, etc. I need to just get up the courage to approach this.

 

And now they are talking (this is a very small congregation) about buying a chunk of land and starting an intentional community, and my mom and sister seem to assume I would jump at this. I love my house though, don't want to move, and don't really want that degree of control exercised over my life. Aaarghh. I need to broach this before I sink in too far.

Edited July 25, 2012 by momto2Cs

[Lara in Colo]

I am pentacostal and I don't believe those things either.

There are other denominations that are pentacostal/charasmatic that you can join if you choose (Assembly of God, Four Square).

 

Other than that, I would do as others suggested and gently tell family you want to find the right place for you, God is speaking to you to go elsewhere. (If you pick another pentacostal church, the switch will probably be taken better by family, but I can't say for sure).

 

Lara

[PinkInTheBlue]

I know that is tough. It seems to be a conversation something like: "I'm really glad you guys are enjoying your church. I appreciate you inviting us to try it out. It's not for me, so I'm not going to keep going. You guys have a great time." :)

 

I wouldn't get into any conversation at all (personally) about your "whys". Typically those never get past them just trying to explain why you have it wrong and how to "help" you. :) *I* would just continue on a rinse and repeat of "Thanks but no thanks. Love you!" :)

 

Church makes things so tricky amongst family sometimes. :)

[TranquilMind]

momto2Cs:

Back story: I was raised in a primarily non-religious home. My father is a devout atheist, and my mother never seemed to care one way or the other. Flash forward to about 3 years ago, when my sister became involved in a small Pentecostal congregation. Within a year, she had been baptized, and was very involved with her church. My mother soon followed suit. For the next couple of years, they badgered me to go to their services.

 

 

Does anyone else find this interesting? I can't tell you how many times I have seen the dynamic of atheist parent producing Pentecostal child. Or vice versa.

 

 

The problem is that I find my fundamental beliefs don't match up with Pentecostalism. I don't think I need to speak in tongues on a regular basis, I don't believe in their interpretation of He!!, I think I should be able to cut my hair, wear pants, and celebrate Halloween.

 

 

Wow. Really? That sounds like a specific sect if they don't cut their hair or do specific things. I'm a charismatic Christian, and we are most casual, even in church. In fact it seems kind of weird, given my conservative upbringing and age, to see people wearing flip-flops in church. They certainly have stylish hair, and celebrate anything they wish to celebrate. I've been there a few months. Hmmm.

 

I don't want to cause a family rift - I love my mother very much, and she's been a tremendous help over the years. I don't want to offend her. I also don't want to continue attending church three times a week when I don't agree with much of it.

 

Is there any graceful way I can approach this?

 

 

I think you should just say what you have said here. Tell your Mom and your sister you love them so much, and are thrilled that she has found a way in which the Lord connects with her, but you feel your trajectory is a bit different at this time. Assuming you are still Christian, emphasize that you are still in the same faith, but just are in a different place right now and need to find your exact path. Tell them you'd love to visit on special days (if you would) and to pray for you as you find your church home. Something like that.

[TranquilMind]

This is based off last week's sermon on it... basically, it is a place of torture anyone who has done wrong is condemned to. Wrong could mean anything from telling lies to homosexu@lity. From what we were told, it seems more likely for people to go to Hell than not. At the same time, we are being told that God is very loving and forgiving. I can't put these two together successfully.

 

Well, maybe it is just bad communication on the part of the pastor. They sure aren't perfect. Hell was not created for man at all, and God doesn't want anyone there, according to scripture. He wants all to come into repentance and a knowledge of the truth (a lifelong process, not a single moment). The fear thing doesn't work for me at all, so I don't have this conflict. I'm not sure what happens there, but absence from God plays a big role, and it is totally voluntary on the part of the person.

[justLisa]

Wow! That is harsh.

 

I agree with Ellie. Gently let her know you won't be attending anymore and gently pass the bean dip if/when it is brought up. :grouphug:

 

Yeah, that's about how I grew up! You're going to hell, she's going to hell, hell we are all going to hell!

 

I remember my grandmother making me watch the "end time" movies. Holy carp I think that is when my anxiety started. Seriously, my mom had no idea until my sis and I told her. We were petrified we would one day wake up to the mixer on and no mother and that we were left behind. I can still hear the soundtrack in my head..."two men walking uuuup a hill, one disapears, and one's left standing stiiiiill, I wish we'd all beeeeen reeaaady." "There's no time to change your miiiiind...." :ohmy:

 

OK I think I have to go cry.

[Catwoman]

Thank you ladies, for the :grouphug: and the advice.

 

You're right. I do need to just approach this with her, and be honest but gentle about it. The problem is that I hate to be the one to stir the pot, so to speak, and it seems I always am... homeschooling, attachment parenting, etc. I need to just get up the courage to approach this.

 

And now they are talking (this is a very small congregation) about buying a chunk of and and starting an intentional community, and my mom and sister seem to assume I would jump at this. I love my house though, don't want to move, and don't really want that degree of control exercised over my life. Aaarghh. I need to broach this before I sink in too far.

 

I think you need to discuss this with your mom ASAP, and as Ellie said, be as gentle about it as you can.

 

But... I have to tell you that I'm getting a lot of red flags from your posts, as this church sounds incredibly controlling and the idea that they now want to start their own little world on a chunk of land is starting to sound more like "cult" than "church" to me.

 

I should mention that I'm not of your religion, so perhaps this sort of thing isn't as strange or unusual as it appears to me, but I do think it's something for you to think about, as your family seems to be quite immersed in this church after only a few years, and I would hate to think that this could turn into the kind of place where they encourage family members to disassociate with anyone who isn't an active church member.

 

Again, I'm probably WAY over-reacting here, but the whole "community" thing sort of creeps me out. It's different when a lot of church members live in the same town, but the idea that they wouldn't want anyone but church members is raising the red flags for me.

 

I truly hope I didn't offend anyone with my post.

[ma23peas]

Your relationship between you and God is just that, just between you two. Now how that relationship grows in you through the Holy Spirit's sanctification is how we reflect Christ's love for us. You sound very loving and concerned about how your mother will take this. If she is a believer she should be thrilled that you are following God's leadings....if she is offended b/c you are not following the way she does, then that is pride. Nothing you can do about that but pray for her and continue to be kind and loving but do not let her weakness diminish your path's calling.

 

I would avoid talking about her church unless she asks you specifics..be honest. We have been members at 4 different denominations, we try to not seek a denomination but seek a Bible teaching- God seeking chuch...God has placed us in each one and we have always grown in each. If you feel yourself not growing and seeking Him...it's time to move on or ask Him to make it clear.

[elfgivas]

Yeah, that's about how I grew up! You're going to hell, she's going to hell, hell we are all going to hell!

 

I remember my grandmother making me watch the "end time" movies. Holy carp I think that is when my anxiety started. Seriously, my mom had no idea until my sis and I told her. We were petrified we would one day wake up to the mixer on and no mother and that we were left behind. I can still hear the soundtrack in my head..."two men walking uuuup a hill, one disapears, and one's left standing stiiiiill, I wish we'd all beeeeen reeaaady." "There's no time to change your miiiiind...." :ohmy:

 

OK I think I have to go cry.

 

:grouphug: i am so sorry you went thru this. :grouphug:

ann

[aggieamy]

Thank you ladies, for the :grouphug: and the advice.

 

You're right. I do need to just approach this with her, and be honest but gentle about it. The problem is that I hate to be the one to stir the pot, so to speak, and it seems I always am... homeschooling, attachment parenting, etc. I need to just get up the courage to approach this.

 

And now they are talking (this is a very small congregation) about buying a chunk of and and starting an intentional community, and my mom and sister seem to assume I would jump at this. I love my house though, don't want to move, and don't really want that degree of control exercised over my life. Aaarghh. I need to broach this before I sink in too far.

 

:iagree:

 

There seems to be a lot of what I would consider warning signs with this "community".

[fairfarmhand]

Thank you ladies, for the :grouphug: and the advice.

 

You're right. I do need to just approach this with her, and be honest but gentle about it. The problem is that I hate to be the one to stir the pot, so to speak, and it seems I always am... homeschooling, attachment parenting, etc. I need to just get up the courage to approach this.

 

And now they are talking (this is a very small congregation) about buying a chunk of and and starting an intentional community, and my mom and sister seem to assume I would jump at this. I love my house though, don't want to move, and don't really want that degree of control exercised over my life. Aaarghh. I need to broach this before I sink in too far.

RUNNNNN!!!! fast from these people!

 

I have learned that the best way to tell people this is "God is leading me in a different direction right now." Then I would be very complimentary about how influential they were to getting you on the right track and "opening my eyes to spiritual issues."

[astrid]

And now they are talking (this is a very small congregation) about buying a chunk of and and starting an intentional community, and my mom and sister seem to assume I would jump at this. I love my house though, don't want to move, and don't really want that degree of control exercised over my life. Aaarghh. I need to broach this before I sink in too far.

 

Okay-- I'll just come right out and say it. That sounds very cult-like to me.

 

astrid

[TranquilMind]

Okay-- I'll just come right out and say it. That sounds very cult-like to me.

 

astrid

Well, it could be.

 

Or it might not be at all. I knew a young couple who wanted to create a community and worked on it for years. They were Christians, and they just thought it might be nice to create a community that was interdependent on each other, and lived communally to some extent. Nothing nefarious there.

 

It didn't happen, because they couldn't find a good property.

[milovany]

Well, it could be.

 

Or it might not be at all. I knew a young couple who wanted to create a community and worked on it for years. They were Christians, and they just thought it might be nice to create a community that was interdependent on each other, and lived communally to some extent. Nothing nefarious there.

 

It didn't happen, because they couldn't find a good property.

 

Agreeing. I've heard this conversation take place in a variety of contexts over the years, by mainstream, very un-cultish Christians. I've even thought about it in the past as well. It's just the idea of living near people with whom you are pursuing the things of God with, and sharing life with them.

[Kebo]

The problem is that I hate to be the one to stir the pot, so to speak, and it seems I always am... homeschooling, attachment parenting, etc. I need to just get up the courage to approach this.

 

 

It's not stirring the pot to be able to choose your own religious beliefs! Heck, you aren't even turning against the way you were raised -- you're just not sure you want to follow your sister's/mother's choice.

 

Your description of your current church raised my mind-control antennae, but I'm sensitive to feeling that way, and maybe it's fine. But, it should be YOUR choice to choose to believe and/or follow their teachings. I would suggest that you make your choice cheerfully, without wavering or denigrating their beliefs. If you offer reasons, they may feel attacked in their beliefs.

[astrid]

I get what you're saying. Maybe it was the OP's description of the hell sermon that made me think of that. I still hear alarm bells, though-- mom and sis becoming so heavily involved very quickly, etc.

 

astrid

[astrid]

Your description of your current church raised my mind-control antennae,

 

Mine too. See my post above.

 

:grouphug: OP. it's a tough position.

 

astrid

[Seasider]

Intentional community? Yeah, my knee jerk reaction is Yikes! A cult!

 

However....

 

There is a trend,among some Christians today, to move away from distant megachurches and towards more community oriented, neighborhood churches. That's one things I envy about my Catholic friends, the fact that parishes typically draw from neighborhoods, so neighbors are also fellow church-goers. I would love to live closer to some of my church friends! I recognize, however, that the neighborhood church is a different animal than a parcel of land owned by the church. I'm not liking that idea...

 

Anyway, OP, you can converse with your mom and sister gently, assure her that you agree on the centrality of the Gospel while finding your own fulfilling style of worship at a different church.

 

And I would tell her soon. The longer you continue to attend with them, the deeper in you are, in their eyes, anyway.

[MomatHWTK]

Do you feel that you have come to salvation because of your experience with this church? If so, I would tell your mom that you are so thankful that she introduced you to XYZ church because you now have a relationship with Christ but that you feel you need to explore your own beliefs more and in a new setting.

[Violet Crown]

That's one things I envy about my Catholic friends, the fact that parishes typically draw from neighborhoods, so neighbors are also fellow church-goers.

 

In theory ... except for those who drive to the traditionalist Catholic parish, or the charismatic Catholic parish, or the Spirit-of-Vatican-2 Catholic parish, or the gay-friendly Catholic parish, or the university student Catholic parish, or the Vietnamese Catholic parish, or the Central-American-but-not-Tejano Catholic parish, or the [fill in the blank] Catholic parish....

[happi duck]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Katy]

If you believe in speaking in tongues, and think that it is necessary evidence of baptism with the Holy Spirit, ie: you're not saved if you don't speak in tongues, then you're pentacostal.

 

If you believe speaking in tongues is real, that there are real spiritual gifts today, they you're charismatic. Find a charismatic church. There are charismatic aspects to even some mainline churches, such as methodist or catholic.

 

I think the real thing issue here is a lack of boundaries with your mom & sister. Read the book Boundaries. Do you really think your family is blackmailing you to be a part of their faith with the threat of losing your love?

 

Then take some initiative and research the theology of hell. Pray about it, read about it, and you'll probably come to some place where either you're okay with not knowing, or where you settle on your own beliefs about it. It might help to look at the history of beliefs about Satan. In the old testament beliefs were quite different than many theories about Satan today. It used to be he was an adversary or an accuser, but it was thought that God gave him that position to test us. Nowadays what we are taught about him is very different.

 

I have a charismatic friend who recently confided in me that she doesn't think hell is eternal. She suggested the book Hope Beyond Hell by Gerard Beauchemin. It's in my Amazon list, but I haven't read it yet.

 

On the other hand, I once went to a conference where Mickey Robinson spoke. He says he got in a plane crash, died, and started going to hell. He cried out to God for help, and it's a long story but basically came back to life, gave his life to God, and became a pastor. He has a book about his experience, though you may be able to read all about it on his website (http://www.mickeyrobinson.com).

[Cindyg]

This is based off last week's sermon on it... basically, it is a place of torture anyone who has done wrong is condemned to. Wrong could mean anything from telling lies to homosexu@lity. From what we were told, it seems more likely for people to go to Hell than not. At the same time, we are being told that God is very loving and forgiving. I can't put these two together successfully.

 

Really? The church doesn't offer any means of redemption other than personal perfection? That is not a very Christian message.

[TravelingChris]

I agree with the other posters to simply tell your mother that God is leading you elsewhere and not discuss the theological problems you have with the church. It isn't for us or It isn't for me, but thank you for your concern, is what I would be saying (us or me depending on whether it was just you attending or you and other family members).

[Cricket]

You just need to be gently forthright:

 

Mom, you know I love you biggie bunches, and I appreciate your concern over my spiritual welfare. But this church just isn't the one for me. I appreciate your prayers in helping me find my way, and I'm sure that God will show me which one is right for me.

 

And then gently refuse to discuss it further. :)

 

:iagree:

 

Thank you ladies, for the :grouphug: and the advice.

 

You're right. I do need to just approach this with her, and be honest but gentle about it. The problem is that I hate to be the one to stir the pot, so to speak, and it seems I always am... homeschooling, attachment parenting, etc. I need to just get up the courage to approach this.

 

And now they are talking (this is a very small congregation) about buying a chunk of land and starting an intentional community, and my mom and sister seem to assume I would jump at this. I love my house though, don't want to move, and don't really want that degree of control exercised over my life. Aaarghh. I need to broach this before I sink in too far.

 

I'm a Christian and I LOVE our church but this would terrify me! :) I don't think I could handle that!

[LostSurprise]

If you believe in speaking in tongues, and think that it is necessary evidence of baptism with the Holy Spirit, ie: you're not saved if you don't speak in tongues, then you're pentacostal.

 

If you believe speaking in tongues is real, that there are real spiritual gifts today, they you're charismatic. Find a charismatic church. There are charismatic aspects to even some mainline churches, such as methodist or catholic.

 

This isn't true. There are several 'flavors' of Pentecostal. Often one flavor (AoG for instance) will be more casual and another will be more conservative. My aunt went to a Pentecostal church where everything the OP mentioned was true. They were very kind people but eventually my aunt and female cousin burnt out from the patriarchal hierarchy. My parents attended AoG (which is considered Pentecostal) and I can't remember any of those being true. I've met people from other Pentecostal churches where one or two of those items might be true. Different churches have different emphasis.

 

Its okay to respect and even love people and not feel completely at home with their style of Christianity. Just pray about it with your spouse and let your family know you appreciate them but you are called elsewhere.

[Haiku]

 

Is there any graceful way I can approach this?

 

"Mom, the beliefs of this church don't speak to me. I'm going to look for a church that does."

 

Tara

[Catwoman]

Mine too. See my post above.

 

:grouphug: OP. it's a tough position.

 

astrid

 

I posted the same thing earlier, as well. Definite red flags -- maybe there's nothing sinister afoot here, but I think it's odd enough that it needs to be considered.

[Laurie4b]

Well, it could be.

 

Or it might not be at all. I knew a young couple who wanted to create a community and worked on it for years. They were Christians, and they just thought it might be nice to create a community that was interdependent on each other, and lived communally to some extent. Nothing nefarious there.

 

It didn't happen, because they couldn't find a good property.

 

True, but even when it's not cultish, I've never heard anything but eventual anguish and hard feelings come from shared-property intentional community started as an independent undertaking and not structured as an order or something by a larger church which has members who are not part of the order. I think given the other things said about this church, that the intentional community is likely to end up very controlling, at the least.

[Pamela H in Texas]

I guess it really depends. Ideally, the idea would be that you have to be responsible for making your own decisions about your faith. They can disagree, of course, but ideally, they'll respect that it is your choice to make. You'll probably need to "pass the bean dip" :)

Edited July 26, 2012 by 2J5M9K

[Dustybug]

You just need to be gently forthright:

 

Mom, you know I love you biggie bunches, and I appreciate your concern over my spiritual welfare. But this church just isn't the one for me. I appreciate your prayers in helping me find my way, and I'm sure that God will show me which one is right for me.

 

And then gently refuse to discuss it further. :)

 

:iagree:

[Trish]

Just be pleasant but truthful.

 

I know you don't want to offend mom or sis, but, neither should they be offending you. It works both ways!

 

Spirituality is personal. They should respect that.

 

:grouphug:

[Katy]

This isn't true. There are several 'flavors' of Pentecostal. Often one flavor (AoG for instance) will be more casual and another will be more conservative. My aunt went to a Pentecostal church where everything the OP mentioned was true. They were very kind people but eventually my aunt and female cousin burnt out from the patriarchal hierarchy. My parents attended AoG (which is considered Pentecostal) and I can't remember any of those being true. I've met people from other Pentecostal churches where one or two of those items might be true. Different churches have different emphasis.

 

Its okay to respect and even love people and not feel completely at home with their style of Christianity. Just pray about it with your spouse and let your family know you appreciate them but you are called elsewhere.

 

I decided not to formally join an AoG megachurch after I went to the classes and was told that AoG IS pentacostal and that is their belief. Maybe some individual churches don't push controversial doctrines much, but it is their doctrine. ETA: AOG believes speaking in tongues is necessary. The other things she stated - not cutting hair or intentional communities, not so much.

Edited July 26, 2012 by Katy

[FairyMom]

You just need to be gently forthright:

 

Mom, you know I love you biggie bunches, and I appreciate your concern over my spiritual welfare. But this church just isn't the one for me. I appreciate your prayers in helping me find my way, and I'm sure that God will show me which one is right for me.

 

And then gently refuse to discuss it further. :)

 

:iagree: Honest, but gentle.

 

 

And now they are talking (this is a very small congregation) about buying a chunk of land and starting an intentional community, and my mom and sister seem to assume I would jump at this. I love my house though, don't want to move, and don't really want that degree of control exercised over my life. Aaarghh. I need to broach this before I sink in too far.

 

Yikes, G! This is scary stuff. Red flag warning going up from someone who left a cult-type church. Be careful. :grouphug:

[Mama2Many4]

In theory ... except for those who drive to the traditionalist Catholic parish, or the charismatic Catholic parish, or the Spirit-of-Vatican-2 Catholic parish, or the gay-friendly Catholic parish, or the university student Catholic parish, or the Vietnamese Catholic parish, or the Central-American-but-not-Tejano Catholic parish, or the [fill in the blank] Catholic parish....

 

I don't know of any of those. Being gay is certainly not looked down upon by Catholics, but acting out on it is. So, I don't know what a "gay friendly" Catholic parish would look like. :confused:

[kricau]

Their are TONS of different churches out there. Find one that you are comfortable in, and share the good news with them. I don't think they will be upset as long as you are happy. God is God no matter where you worship.

[Burger]

If you believe in speaking in tongues, and think that it is necessary evidence of baptism with the Holy Spirit, ie: you're not saved if you don't speak in tongues, then you're pentacostal.

 

).

 

I admit to being pretty ignorant about the pentecostal denomination, but do they really teach this? So, in other words, does the Pentecostal faith teach that any people and/or faiths that do not speak in tongues are going to hell?

 

I grew up a lackluster catholic(went to CCD and church when we visited grandma), and in fourth grade went to a pentecostal summer camp with my best friend. They told me I had to get saved to go to heaven, which was going through a tunnel of people with their hands out, two adults pushing me down, and bawling hysterically for over an hour. It was terrifying, and I left feeling horrible because I thought my whole family was going to hell :(. That is the only experience I have with the pentecostal faith. Is this normal too??

[Katy]

I admit to being pretty ignorant about the pentecostal denomination, but do they really teach this? So, in other words, does the Pentecostal faith teach that any people and/or faiths that do not speak in tongues are going to hell?

 

I grew up a lackluster catholic(went to CCD and church when we visited grandma), and in fourth grade went to a pentecostal summer camp with my best friend. They told me I had to get saved to go to heaven, which was going through a tunnel of people with their hands out, two adults pushing me down, and bawling hysterically for over an hour. It was terrifying, and I left feeling horrible because I thought my whole family was going to hell :(. That is the only experience I have with the pentecostal faith. Is this normal too??

 

I honestly don't know. I started going in college to a big AoG church after my mom and sister got saved at a revival that was a spinoff of the Brownsville Revival in Pensacola, FL in the late 1990's. I got really involved too, and considered joining until they told me that's what they believed in the joining class. When I asked if they believed people who didn't speak in tongues weren't saved, they sort of shrugged and referred to the bible verses about being filled with the holy spirit = speaking in tongues and that you're not saved without being baptized by the holy spirit.

 

My dad had a terrifying experience in his grandmother's foursquare gospel church as a kid, as a result he was convinced God hated him and he was going to hell for most his life, and he kept us far, far away from most pentecostal services. I talked him back to God as an adult, he got baptized at a Southern Baptist church, where the pastor gave a sermon that everyone who's not Southern Baptist isn't saved. Daddy got so angry he stood up and told him off during service. I'm not Southern Baptist, and I'm the one who walked him through praying the sinner's prayer. And apparently the first person who ever told my dad the gospel was a Mormon guy who told my dad that God loved him literally as he (the soldier, not my dad) was dying in Vietnam. Someday I hope to meet that man. Anyway, I'm not big on denominations that think their narrow and highly questionable interpretations of less than a handful of bible verses taken out of context mean that everyone who doesn't agree with their exact denomination may not be saved. So I've stayed away from them.

[Violet Crown]

I don't know of any of those. Being gay is certainly not looked down upon by Catholics, but acting out on it is. So, I don't know what a "gay friendly" Catholic parish would look like. :confused:

 

Well if you ever have a visit to the Bay Area planned, I can send you a list.

[kalanamak]

Well if you ever have a visit to the Bay Area planned, I can send you a list.

 

Or the Puget Sound. One of the "polite" ways of saying it, used by St Leo's near me, is "enriched by diversity".

[Heather in Neverland]

Yeah, that's about how I grew up! You're going to hell, she's going to hell, hell we are all going to hell!

 

I remember my grandmother making me watch the "end time" movies. Holy carp I think that is when my anxiety started. Seriously, my mom had no idea until my sis and I told her. We were petrified we would one day wake up to the mixer on and no mother and that we were left behind. I can still hear the soundtrack in my head..."two men walking uuuup a hill, one disapears, and one's left standing stiiiiill, I wish we'd all beeeeen reeaaady." "There's no time to change your miiiiind...." :ohmy:

 

OK I think I have to go cry.

 

I watched the same movie as a kid at church! I was traumatized.

 

That is the kind of church I grew up in. No makeup, no jewelry, no shorts or pants for females, no "mixed swimming", no movie theaters, no dancing, no bowling... The list goes on and on.

 

I clearly remember there being a pamphlet given to members called "The 29 Prominent Teachings" which has all these things listed and was essentially 29 ways in which to send yourself straight to hell.

 

They also believed you were not truly saved unless you spoke in tongues and that our denomination were the only TRUE Christians. I remember them saying things like our denomination would be sitting at the table of the "wedding dinner" with Christ and all other Christians would just be guests. Except for Catholics, of course. We weren't allowed to consort with them. :glare:

 

It is a miracle I am still a Christian today after being raised in that whack job church.

 

 

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