BlueTaelon Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 We have a neighbor child who I was surprised to learn was not there bio child. The Dad was at an AA meeting and a stranger stood up and asked if anyone wanted a baby because she didn't want it anymore so he stood up and said "I'll take her". She was only 2 years old (now 6) and mom was/is in prison, grandma was raising her (she's the one who offered the child at the meeting). It was literally a matter of "here, take her", no courts, nothing. They finally went to court to get guardianship right before she started kindergarten but is this even legal? Don't you need to have a home study or something in writing from the legal guardian to take a child like that? ETA: This kid is fine now, spoiled rotten and well loved by her new family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 Yeah, sounds not quite legal. The bio parents/relatives could show up and take the kid and disrupt her life all over again. Are they OK with that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dory Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 If the parent is willing to sign over rights to someone, then a formal home study is not needed. I know of an adult in this area that was adopted that way, and I know of someone with a teenager that was adopted that way. If CPS wasn't involved in the beginning, and an adoption agency wasn't involved in any way, that it is completely legal for a parent to sign off their rights to a specific person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marychance Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 This happened with my step daughter. My husband had given up his rights to her when she was 8 so that her step dad could adopt her. At the time he felt it was the right decision. Fast forward eight years and we get a call from mom in Germany. She's getting divorced and doesn't want a teenager and neither does step-dad. They shipped her over here, having not spoken to anyone in YEARS and having never met me. Mom sent guardianship papers and we haven't heard anything since. Any parent can appoint any person to take care of their child at any time, however it could be dissolved at any moment. We're crossing our fingers that we can finish raising her without anyone tearing it apart again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 I knew a nice lady who ran a large "family living" house for elders. She had a big heart and worked hard all day running up and down and seeing to their needs. She home cooked for them and put up her own plums every year to "keep them regular". I dreamed of putting my mother there if it ever came to that. I used to visit her house as a visiting doctor, and loved her like everyone else. One day there was a really darling 9 year old girl having breakfast and getting ready for school. I'd not seen her before, and asked. The woman said someone she knew knew someone who was homeless and was moving on looking for work and looking for someone to take their daughter. There was no paper work, and both the woman and girl hoped the parents would do okay and send for her, but they seemed very happy to have what they have now, and life went on. I know a couple who moved out here from Tennessee. They had three teens and each teen knew a teen with a terrible homelife. When they moved, their 3 and the 3 unwanted kids all moved together. They didn't tell their parents where they went (these 3 were not related), and didn't think they'd be looked for. At this point I turned to my ex husband and said: never complain about me taking in a kitten again, and we all laughed. I knew a woman in NYC who had a beautiful dark skinned child she claimed she won in a card game in North Africa. I asked her how she got in the country and she smiled and said "Bribery." I knew an unhappy 15 year old who adopted the family down the road by "showing up" for help with homework and staying to cook and do the dishes night after night. After awhile she started sleeping on the couch. Dad was a drunk. A couple of years later she showed up pregnant, and well, it was their son's, so she stayed as DIL. People make all kinds of sub-legal arrangements. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueTaelon Posted July 25, 2012 Author Share Posted July 25, 2012 This happened with my step daughter. My husband had given up his rights to her when she was 8 so that her step dad could adopt her. At the time he felt it was the right decision. Fast forward eight years and we get a call from mom in Germany. She's getting divorced and doesn't want a teenager and neither does step-dad. They shipped her over here, having not spoken to anyone in YEARS and having never met me. Mom sent guardianship papers and we haven't heard anything since. Any parent can appoint any person to take care of their child at any time, however it could be dissolved at any moment. We're crossing our fingers that we can finish raising her without anyone tearing it apart again. I know in CA if the parents disappear, no contact, no support, no nothing you can file for termination of parental rights based on abandonment in 6 months. Maybe thats an option? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueTaelon Posted July 25, 2012 Author Share Posted July 25, 2012 ok, dumb question but how in the world so you get basic things for these kids like medical care or even enroll them in school without paperwork/birth certs/ ect? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 ok, dumb question but how in the world so you get basic things for these kids like medical care or even enroll them in school without paperwork/birth certs/ ect? You don't need birth certificates for most things these days. I haven't needed to produce one ever that I can think of. I haven't needed to supply anything to prove my kids are mine in regards to medical care or school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueTaelon Posted July 25, 2012 Author Share Posted July 25, 2012 You don't need birth certificates for most things these days. I haven't needed to produce one ever that I can think of. I haven't needed to supply anything to prove my kids are mine in regards to medical care or school. You can't enroll in a public school without a birth cert and I had to prove my kids were mine to get them on my insurance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 ok, dumb question but how in the world so you get basic things for these kids like medical care or even enroll them in school without paperwork/birth certs/ ect? For the most part, Nobody asks if you are the bio-parents, they just assume you are. It could just be a don't ask, don't tell situation. DD5 doesn't look a bit like me or my other kids. I tell doctors and what not that she is my neice and they just give me the forms to fill out. The only place I had to show my guardianship documents was to put her on my health insurance at age 3yo. When I enrolled her in school, I offered them, they didn't have a chance to ask so I don't know if they would have (I have a photo copy of her birth certificate/ss card so I have her legal documents to prove her identity/age). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 (edited) You can't enroll in a public school without a birth cert and I had to prove my kids were mine to get them on my insurance. It must vary. I didn't need to provide a birth certificate to enroll in school. I only needed to prove I lived within their zone. Maybe I had to provide a social for insurance, but I know nothing more was needed. ETA: Whoops!! My district's website says they need proof of age and does list a birth certificate, so I must have given it. I don't remember doing so though. If they went to court at some time, are you absolutely positive they didn't do things by the book and get the necessary paperwork? Edited July 25, 2012 by Horton Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dobela Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 We have a neighbor child who I was surprised to learn was not there bio child. The Dad was at an AA meeting and a stranger stood up and asked if anyone wanted a baby because she didn't want it anymore so he stood up and said "I'll take her". She was only 2 years old (now 6) and mom was/is in prison, grandma was raising her (she's the one who offered the child at the meeting). It was literally a matter of "here, take her", no courts, nothing. They finally went to court to get guardianship right before she started kindergarten but is this even legal? Don't you need to have a home study or something in writing from the legal guardian to take a child like that? ETA: This kid is fine now, spoiled rotten and well loved by her new family. Every state has dramatically different laws regarding this situation. In my state, this is legal. To receive guardianship they either have to prove abandonment, or they have to have legal documents signed by the parent giving them the right to make all decisions for the child. If it is done in court, it has to be undone in court though. This is not the same as adoption however. Adoption is much more involved and does require a homestudy, even if it is an open adoption where the birthmother knows the family and asks them to adopt the child. A child in guardianship qualifies for WIC, state insurance, and so on, because in a sense they are considered without family and alone. An adopted child does not necessarily receive any of those unless the family income is low. I have friends who have guardianship of their grandchildren. It was a much less complicated process. The parents can come back and ask for the children, but they would have to go to court first to do this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marychance Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 ok, dumb question but how in the world so you get basic things for these kids like medical care or even enroll them in school without paperwork/birth certs/ ect? Our guardianship papers took care of all of that. We did get some guff from his employer on a few things regarding insurance but a few phone calls from a persistent wife did the trick :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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