Katydid Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 There are so many things I want to do.... eat well and exercise, be more consistent with schooling, do better with budgeting, meal planning and cleaning, more self-education, including learning a musical instrument, etc. But I tend to just fall into my same pattern of way too much time on the computer. I have a toddler and a baby along with my two school-age kids and I am very much an introvert who gets "touched out" easily, so I know I'm in an intense parenting time that won't last forever. However, I just feel so stuck and stir-crazy. I've never had much self-discipline in my life and it seems that having kids has made that even worse for me. But I'm tired of setting such a bad example for my kids. I want better for them. And for me. How do I change? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetandSimple Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 I could've written your post, literally word-for-word! So I am definitely :bigear:. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paula in MS Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 I could've written your post, literally word-for-word! So I am definitely :bigear:. Me, too. I subscribed to the thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeghanL Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 I would recommend picking one area to work on and focusing on that. It would also be ideal to pick the one you think you would have the most success with. Work that improvement into your day. When it becomes a habit (after 3 or 4 weeks) pick the next one that you think you would have the most success with. Repeat until you are feeling fulfilled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katydid Posted July 23, 2012 Author Share Posted July 23, 2012 I would recommend picking one area to work on and focusing on that. It would also be ideal to pick the one you think you would have the most success with. Work that improvement into your day. When it becomes a habit (after 3 or 4 weeks) pick the next one that you think you would have the most success with. Repeat until you are feeling fulfilled. This is good advice, but how do I choose when everything feels urgent? That's what's hard.... keeping everything going. I feel like when I do a good job keeping up with school, the house goes to pot, I don't feel like cooking, so our eating goes downhill and on and on. But if I start eating well, taking the time to prepare healthy foods for every meal, I feel like I spend all my time in the kitchen and there is no time for school or cleaning, etc. Feeling fulfilled is something I long for but feels terribly out of reach right now.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alisoncooks Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 I could've written your post, literally word-for-word! So I am definitely :bigear:. Ditto. OP - I ask my self this question at least once a week, if not more. But I never seem to change... :( Funny, we were coming home from vacation this past weekend, listening to Frog & Toad books on tape. We were listening to the one where Frog & Toad couldn't stop eating the cookies and they stated: We need willpower. I told DH that I needed a tattoo of F&T stuffing their faces with the words "we need willpower" under it, LOL. He wasn't amused. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katydid Posted July 23, 2012 Author Share Posted July 23, 2012 LOL That tattoo would be awesome! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetandSimple Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 Funny, we were coming home from vacation this past weekend, listening to Frog & Toad books on tape. We were listening to the one where Frog & Toad couldn't stop eating the cookies and they stated: We need willpower. I told DH that I needed a tattoo of F&T stuffing their faces with the words "we need willpower" under it, LOL. He wasn't amused. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeghanL Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 Could you start with consistent schooling & house cleaning? Stock up on freezer meals & really easy meals to prepare..I'm talking 3 or 4 ingredients tops! I find that when I have schooling done & a clean house I'm much more inspired. Things seem overwhelming & urgent now possibly because there is no plan and no clear place to start. I find this leads to paralysis where time I could have is spent instead freaking out about how much there is to do. That's why I suggest starting in one area and working from there. If that is still too overwhelming, maybe seek some outside help. Hire a housekeeper for a few months while you get a handle on other areas. (Or keep the housekeeper and spend that time on self-education). Is there anyone available to delegate too? In our house my husband does all the menu planning, grocery shopping & cooking. He enjoys it. I do not. It works for us. Is that an option to free up some time to find more enjoyment? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetandSimple Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 (edited) I'm not sure about your situation, but for me, I'm starting to think that I may actually have an addiction to the computer. Or perhaps it may just be a means of escape when things are stressful around here. It is complicated because I spend a lot of time "researching" things on the internet, which is unavoidable in small amounts, but I take it way too far. But the thing that surprises me is that I don't just use computer time to avoid things I don't like, but that I'd rather be on the computer even when I have enjoyable things to do. I hate that I am like that. I've wondered about taking some kind of drastic action... like a password (that only DH knows) to keep me off of these forums during the day. (Yes, my post count is low, but my invisible lurking count is not!) I think that my life could be 100% different if I didn't use the computer. A lot of my self-discipline failings are tied to it. Sorry to ramble, I was just wondering how much of a pull the computer has for you. Edited July 23, 2012 by SweetandSimple Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katydid Posted July 23, 2012 Author Share Posted July 23, 2012 Could you start with consistent schooling & house cleaning? Stock up on freezer meals & really easy meals to prepare..I'm talking 3 or 4 ingredients tops! I find that when I have schooling done & a clean house I'm much more inspired. Things seem overwhelming & urgent now possibly because there is no plan and no clear place to start. I find this leads to paralysis where time I could have is spent instead freaking out about how much there is to do. That's why I suggest starting in one area and working from there. If that is still too overwhelming, maybe seek some outside help. Hire a housekeeper for a few months while you get a handle on other areas. (Or keep the housekeeper and spend that time on self-education). Is there anyone available to delegate too? In our house my husband does all the menu planning, grocery shopping & cooking. He enjoys it. I do not. It works for us. Is that an option to free up some time to find more enjoyment? Yes, paralysis. That's a good word for where I'm at. But you are right, I need a plan. Maybe I could lay out all the things I would like to change this year and dedicate 4 weeks or so to each one. That way I can see that just because X is not the focus this week, it will be addressed this year. I've felt stuck for so long and I know that any improvement would be better than none. I'm such an "all or nothing" personality and it's been way too much "nothing" for way too long. Because I feel so much better physically when I eat well, I think I will start with meal planning/prep and schooling, because we've already started for the year and I want to keep up with my plan. Then maybe I will ask DH if he could help with more of the house cleaning. Then, as hard as it is, I will need to let everything else go until eating and schooling become routine and second nature. OK, deep breath. I can do this, right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 I am not the most self disciplined but I'm not a slacker either. The things we need done are done, and by that I mean the things I am not ok with when I let them go. Meals, clean kitchen, laundry, school work etc. . Everything else is bonus. I do play piano and am trying to play guitar more so I can be of better help to DD who is learning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katydid Posted July 23, 2012 Author Share Posted July 23, 2012 I'm not sure about your situation, but for me, I'm starting to think that I may actually have an addiction to the computer. Or perhaps it may just be a means of escape when things are stressful around here. It is complicated because I spend a lot of time "researching" things on the internet, which is unavoidable in small amounts, but I take it way too far. But the thing that surprises me is that I don't just use computer time to avoid things I don't like, but that I'd rather be on the computer even when I have enjoyable things to do. I hate that I am like that. I've wondered about taking some kind of drastic action... like a password (that only DH knows) to keep me off of these forums during the day. (Yes, my post count is low, but my invisible lurking count is not!) I think that my life could be 100% different if I didn't use the computer. A lot of my self-discipline failings are tied to it. Sorry to ramble, I was just wondering how much of a pull the computer has for you. Oh, yes. I don't post here much (just lurk, mostly) but I've got impressive post counts on a couple other forums, not to mention reading blogs, facebook, etc. It's definitely an escape for me when things get hard... which is all the time, lately. I do think I may have a bit of PPD, as well, which I know that eating right helps with, but it's hard on my bad days to get motivated to do that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily_Grace Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 I would recommend picking one area to work on and focusing on that. It would also be ideal to pick the one you think you would have the most success with. Work that improvement into your day. When it becomes a habit (after 3 or 4 weeks) pick the next one that you think you would have the most success with. Repeat until you are feeling fulfilled. This is what I'm doing this year. In December I outlined 12 goals I wanted to tackle, everything from staying positive to refinishing a bookcase. Each one is done for a month. Some stick (like actively finding joy and eating better), some are dropped after I reach a goal. I had to realize I don't live my life like other people. I'm not Martha Stewart. I'm never going to have people 'pinning' my creations online. I'm not a Motivated Mom or Ikea-organized junkie. I have trouble focusing on things for long periods of time and it takes too much effort to put something away that has to go in a lidded bin at the top of a perfectly organized stack in the closet. I have limitations that I had to accept before I could change. I CAN -do anything for 15 minutes. -be organized with open shelves and containers -mentally decide where something will go before I buy it -adhere to simple routines I gave up trying to label cords or set goals like a book a week. Maybe someday, but just not now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 You are like my long lost twin. I swear! Bacon mayo making quasi slacker....:001_wub: I know! I have always wanted to visit NY :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katydid Posted July 23, 2012 Author Share Posted July 23, 2012 This is what I'm doing this year. In December I outlined 12 goals I wanted to tackle, everything from staying positive to refinishing a bookcase. Each one is done for a month. Some stick (like actively finding joy and eating better), some are dropped after I reach a goal. I had to realize I don't live my life like other people. I'm not Martha Stewart. I'm never going to have people 'pinning' my creations online. I'm not a Motivated Mom or Ikea-organized junkie. I have trouble focusing on things for long periods of time and it takes too much effort to put something away that has to go in a lidded bin at the top of a perfectly organized stack in the closet. I have limitations that I had to accept before I could change. I CAN -do anything for 15 minutes. -be organized with open shelves and containers -mentally decide where something will go before I buy it -adhere to simple routines I gave up trying to label cords or set goals like a book a week. Maybe someday, but just not now. Very inspirational, thank you! :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galatea Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 This is good advice, but how do I choose when everything feels urgent? That's what's hard.... keeping everything going. I feel like when I do a good job keeping up with school, the house goes to pot, I don't feel like cooking, so our eating goes downhill and on and on. But if I start eating well, taking the time to prepare healthy foods for every meal, I feel like I spend all my time in the kitchen and there is no time for school or cleaning, etc. Feeling fulfilled is something I long for but feels terribly out of reach right now.... I know exactly how you feel! I am trying to get on top of many things also, and I've just been trying one thing at a time. My husband and I spent the last few years trying to get out of debt. So everything revolved around saving money, not buying frivolous things, etc. Now that we are in a pretty decent place financially, I am working on my health. I have been going to the gym regularly for three weeks now. But I'm going at all times and I'm not always as prepared as I'd like to be. Once I feel like I'm in a good routine with that, I'll work on something else, probably de-cluttering my house. I think when people say do one thing at a time, it's mostly about where all of your mental and emotionally energy is going. Do what you can with what you need to, but don't spend all of your time worrying about 10 different things at once. If I catch myself stressing out about the clutter right now, I try to stop myself. I don't want to use so much energy on the worrying that I don't have the energy for the thing I'm actually working on DOING right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katydid Posted July 23, 2012 Author Share Posted July 23, 2012 I know exactly how you feel! I am trying to get on top of many things also, and I've just been trying one thing at a time. My husband and I spent the last few years trying to get out of debt. So everything revolved around saving money, not buying frivolous things, etc. Now that we are in a pretty decent place financially, I am working on my health. I have been going to the gym regularly for three weeks now. But I'm going at all times and I'm not always as prepared as I'd like to be. Once I feel like I'm in a good routine with that, I'll work on something else, probably de-cluttering my house. I think when people say do one thing at a time, it's mostly about where all of your mental and emotionally energy is going. Do what you can with what you need to, but don't spend all of your time worrying about 10 different things at once. If I catch myself stressing out about the clutter right now, I try to stop myself. I don't want to use so much energy on the worrying that I don't have the energy for the thing I'm actually working on DOING right now. This is so true. I tend to get ahead of myself so often and just get overwhelmed. I know I need to take things one step at a time, go slow, and really work on forming good habits, one at a time. Thank you for that reminder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galatea Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 This is so true. I tend to get ahead of myself so often and just get overwhelmed. I know I need to take things one step at a time, go slow, and really work on forming good habits, one at a time. Thank you for that reminder. Well, I'm not so great at it yet. But it's the only way I can try to do the things I want and need to do and still keep my sanity. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katydid Posted July 23, 2012 Author Share Posted July 23, 2012 Well, I'm not so great at it yet. But it's the only way I can try to do the things I want and need to do and still keep my sanity. :lol: Yeah, and it's a lot easier to say what needs to be done than it is to actually do it. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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