How can I possibly do this????

[summer]

My son is 6, about to turn 7. He is supposed to be a 2nd grader and fine and on grade level (ahead even). Because of his late birthday, he could even be a 1st grader, but he is definitely a 2nd grader and above for placement in curriculum.

 

He is completely non-compliant!!! I do not know how I will do this. I have paperwork from the childrens hospital saying he is on the Autism spectrum (PDD-NOS) but the school already said no way to any accomodations if he came there. They will destroy him! On the other hand, at home, even getting him to do 1 page of work (today, in Singapore math, that involved 2 problems basically, but he would not do the first one at all, he claimed his brain fell out).

 

I am wondering if maybe I went over to a program where he has to watch a video to teach him such as MUS. On the otherhand, he is very smart, with a high IQ..I just do not know what to do! I do not know how I will get through this year. I am sure every single thing will be a fight.

[newbie]

If the ps cannot accomodate him, they are required to place him in a private school that can. They can provide him with services needed. Speech,Ot, Pt, etc...

 

Do you have great private schools in your area?

[summer]

They say he has no problems. They say he does not need accomodations. They never say they cannot accomodate..they say it is not needed. Just like with my hearing impaired daughter. I had her testing at highly reputable places (Dallas Childrens and Callier Center and even Easter Seals) yet, the school said they did their OWN testing. Their own testing included observing her in the classroom, literally 5 minutes, and saying she seemed to hear. So, they denied her all accomodations. Can't force them to pay for private school without spending thousands, and likely hundreds of thousands, on private attorneys and court fees to fight them. Then there is no guarantee you would win and your child would be an adult by the time all the appeals and such have been gone through. However, someone is currently suing so I am hoping, when and if their suit is done, maybe changes will be made..but not likely.

 

Nope..sorry, just found a link...that family lost http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/latestnews/stories/011108dnmetspecialed.23c4802.html

[Laurie4b]

There are some advocacy organizations that sometimes provide low cost or free attorneys in our area. You might try to find some.

 

I agree, though, the school is likely to say that your ds does not need services because he is on grade level.

 

You're probably right--you won't be able to homeschool him until the defiance is dealt with. What have you already tried?

[newbie]

They say he has no problems. They say he does not need accomodations. They never say they cannot accomodate..they say it is not needed. Just like with my hearing impaired daughter. I had her testing at highly reputable places (Dallas Childrens and Callier Center and even Easter Seals) yet, the school said they did their OWN testing. Their own testing included observing her in the classroom, literally 5 minutes, and saying she seemed to hear. So, they denied her all accomodations. Can't force them to pay for private school without spending thousands, and likely hundreds of thousands, on private attorneys and court fees to fight them. Then there is no guarantee you would win and your child would be an adult by the time all the appeals and such have been gone through. However, someone is currently suing so I am hoping, when and if their suit is done, maybe changes will be made..but not likely.

 

Ask what tests they did, and you want the results.Did you do school admin. These people are set up as gatekeepers. Sometimes it takes a little fighting. If your papers say no, and theirs say yes. You need to agree on a professional for testing to prove they need accomodations.

 

My girlfriend tried with her school and the principal said he was at grade level, would provide no accomodations. She hired an atty. for 250.00 and at the first meeting. They cowed down and said okay here is the school he can go to. Which was mutually agreed upon.

 

In our case. The school had tests, and I had mine. I had mtg. with teacher and prinicipal. Than school admin. and they refused. I hired an atty. who did not charge me anything she charged the school. Because we had proof my niece needed to be accomodated. Since you already have testing you do not have to pay for that. It took one mediation hearing, and we all agreed. She rcd. all remediation and was transferred and school had to cover her costs. It took about three mos. Now they could have fought tooth and nail. But they back down, because they have to hire attys. and have a lot of top admin. at these mtgs. I would call around area and see if there are any atty. who would take your case. It worth a fight. Because services for these kids privately are crazy expensive.

 

I am now fighting for my niece to get SSI. Tough to find good attys. But I am still looking.

 

Of course, it is much easier for me to fight for my niece than her mom. Its sometimes just a daily battle to have a special needs child. You just dont want to deal with schools. My sis did that for eighteen yrs. Until I found out at 18 she was at K level.

 

God bless you,

 

Jet

[chiguirre]

I've dealt with ds's lack of enthusiasm for math by literally holding his hand. I hold his wrist and move his hand to a neutral starting spot in each answer space. Generally this helps him focus enough to do his math quickly. He does make mistakes sometimes so I'm not unconciously guiding him. I got the idea from the Rapid Prompt technique used with severely autistic people. I'm not sure why it works, but it does.

[newbie]

I am no expert. But, have you tried manipulatives. My niece needs them to focus. Whether it be play doh in one hand or chewing gum, it helps her focus.

 

Jet

[super grover]

I can only offer hugs really but this is similar to my son. I am not asking for accomadations when I put him in half day next year -- just waiting for that "call" from the priniciple : )

 

I do want to say that my ped. gave me an alternitive diagnoise of hyper-lexia. Highly intelligent, above really in most areas, slightly social but definately caring the autisic problems (frustration, non-compliant). Look it up. It may sound like less work for the schools because it is not "autism" which is a hot word these days. Also, we are seeing a naturopath doctor person to check for food alergys because sometimes non-compliant is really has to do with food. Have only made the appointment but we keeping our fingers crossed because I am saying the same thing of "how in the world..."

[Scarlett]

On the other hand, at home, even getting him to do 1 page of work (today, in Singapore math, that involved 2 problems basically, but he would not do the first one at all, he claimed his brain fell out).

 

Ok, I know you are stressed and this is a real problem for you and him...and I really have no advice at all....but I gotta say, this made me laugh out loud. How adorable! :lol:His brain fell out. I'm going to use that one the next time I can't figure something out. :)

[sarah in tenn]

After dealing with 2 public schools in the NYC area and one private school in TN, the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Keep going up the ladder of the ps heirarchy. No effort for your children is ever wasted.

sarah

[newbie]

After dealing with 2 public schools in the NYC area and one private school in TN, the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Keep going up the ladder of the ps heirarchy. No effort for your children is ever wasted.

sarah

 

Well put Sarah.

Jet

[luna]

You may already be doing this, but whatever you do with the ps, put it in writing. They are required by law to respond within certain time limits to your requests. You can also try having a doctor request something from the school. They often respond better to that.

Good luck.

Katherine

[summer]

After dealing with 2 public schools in the NYC area and one private school in TN, the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Keep going up the ladder of the ps heirarchy. No effort for your children is ever wasted.

sarah

 

I have been a huge squeaky wheel and it has basically given the local schools a huge sense of power. They got away with it even after I filed complaints with the state. They know they can do whatever they want, they are in complete control and above the law.

[Twinmom]

I don't have any fabulous advice, but I just wanted to offer :grouphug:s! Having lived and worked as a mental health social worker in the Dallas area until just last summer, I know how difficult it is to get the school districts to provide adequate services. I am so very sorry.

 

I don't know if this is a possibility for you, esp. in the current economy, but could you move? I have a friend who has a child on the autism spectrum who found that the Carrollton ISD offered the best services for her child. She hit a brick wall like yours in RISD, so she picked up and moved to Carrollton and he did get what he needed there. She is happy and her child is doing well. A big deal, I know, but if you are desperate maybe it's a possibility. If you are in DISD...please strongly consider it. It is NOT likely to get better no matter what you do.

[Stacy in NJ]

You need to create a system of reinforcements for compliant behavior. What does he most want? He needs to "earn" his rewards. If he loves to play video games, the rule is no video games until x and x are completed neatly and accurately. If he loves to go to the park or play with a particular toy or friend; no toy or park until work is completed. We all know "work before play". For example, he earns 15 minutes of play AFTER math is done; he earns 15 minutes of play AFTER handwriting is done. Get a timer and set up a little system that tells exactly how to earn x. IMPORTANT; expect resistance; expect that he will tantrum and refuse to participate initially, but if you stick to your program he will come around and may even grow to enjoy it.

 

HTH, Stacy

[obiandelismom]

I wouldn't pursue the school angle at all. IME, you're right when you say the school would "destroy" him! My advice would be to back off a bit, take a deep breath, and realize that somehow he learned enough to actually be a year AHEAD academicaly. Maybe you've already been working with him, or maybe he picked it all up through osmosis, but either way, you have a little breathing room to sit back and watch the way he DOES learn, and see how to best support that. Have you looked into the Visual Spatial type of learner? My (mild) pdd-nos 7yo is a VS learner, and it drives him WILD to have to do drill once he's mastered a concept. Maybe Singapore (or workbooks in general) just isn't the right approach for your ds?

 

I know it's tough! But maybe you need to change your ideas about what "compliance" really means. My ds is so so so stubborn, and I've had to learn to pick my battles! But now that I've let him find his own way in subjects that he likes, he's a lot more willing to work with me in the not-so-favorite subjects.

 

Good luck!

[summer]

We are in Lewisville ISD. They are awful!

 

I don't have any fabulous advice, but I just wanted to offer :grouphug:s! Having lived and worked as a mental health social worker in the Dallas area until just last summer, I know how difficult it is to get the school districts to provide adequate services. I am so very sorry.

 

I don't know if this is a possibility for you, esp. in the current economy, but could you move? I have a friend who has a child on the autism spectrum who found that the Carrollton ISD offered the best services for her child. She hit a brick wall like yours in RISD, so she picked up and moved to Carrollton and he did get what he needed there. She is happy and her child is doing well. A big deal, I know, but if you are desperate maybe it's a possibility. If you are in DISD...please strongly consider it. It is NOT likely to get better no matter what you do.

[summer]

My son is in PT/OT and speech.

[Twinmom]

I wanted to edit and say that we use MUS and it is great because it isn't me telling her to do something this way, it is Mr. Demme and she can't argue with a video!

 

I second that one! :D

[yslek]

Ds9 doesn't have a dx, but has Aspergian qualities. His b-day is in Sept, so originally we started him out "ahead" of where he would have been placed in ps, since it was only a couple weeks' difference, and he seemed capable.

 

Getting him to do his lessons has often been a major struggle, though, leading to a good deal of family stress. :mad: This past school year we decided to place him "back" a grade, into the grade he would've been placed had we sent him to ps. I realize that since we're hsing, grade designation is fairly arbitrary. However, just the mental difference has made all the difference in my approach to ds.

 

I find that I'm a lot more relaxed with ds now, which has helped. Even so, there are many lessons where we lock horns, so to speak. One thing that helps (not always, but often) when I ask him to do something I know will cause problems, is to tell him that I only expect him to work 10 or 15 minutes.

 

I say something like "If you can work on this the whole time (no goofing off or staring into space), you only have to do 15 minutes of work, and then you're done." Sometimes I think he just feels overwhelmed by what he sees on the page, and so doesn't even try. This is the only way we've made any headway on spelling and CWP.

 

Kelsy

[MicheleB]

I wouldn't pursue the school angle at all. IME, you're right when you say the school would "destroy" him! My advice would be to back off a bit, take a deep breath, and realize that somehow he learned enough to actually be a year AHEAD academicaly. Maybe you've already been working with him, or maybe he picked it all up through osmosis, but either way, you have a little breathing room to sit back and watch the way he DOES learn, and see how to best support that. Have you looked into the Visual Spatial type of learner? My (mild) pdd-nos 7yo is a VS learner, and it drives him WILD to have to do drill once he's mastered a concept. Maybe Singapore (or workbooks in general) just isn't the right approach for your ds?

 

I know it's tough! But maybe you need to change your ideas about what "compliance" really means. My ds is so so so stubborn, and I've had to learn to pick my battles! But now that I've let him find his own way in subjects that he likes, he's a lot more willing to work with me in the not-so-favorite subjects.

 

Good luck!

 

:iagree:

[mycalling]

I'm heading towards as much one-on-one instructional curricula and as little workbook or practice repetition as possible. We are switching to Math on the Level and Spell to Write and Read, and I'm considering Primary Language Lessons. The bulk of other learning for these main subjects will be activities or manipulatives. I think this method could work great for your son.

 

Math on the Level only has 5 problems a day to be worked out on their own and they are review of previously learned concepts and never solo problems for new concepts. Practice of a concept being learnt are done with the parent until the concept is understood. His brain couldn't possibly fall out doing math this way!:D

[ClassicMom]

First of all, I am so sorry that you hit a brick wall with PS :grouphug:.

However, if they are fighting you in even acknowledging the problem, can you imagine them giving your son the help he needs?

 

I would step back a bit like others have said. It is still July.

 

Children with ASD are almost always visual learners and Singapore is usually (usually) not a good fit. They need to be able to "see" math.

I would also highly recommend Math U See. Your son can watch the videos with you and then he can see and feel the manipulative as he does his math.

 

We have started Kindergarten at home with our ASD/ADHD son this summer and I know that it is no picnic. Our son has many meltdowns and says he's tired, "My brain doesn't work" etc. so I can relate. I do things in 15 - 20 min segments and then he is allowed to do something he wants to do...matchbox cars, draw, play on the swing set, etc. There has to be a system of rewards built into the day. One thing to remember is that everything we are asking them to do is hard for them and so there needs to be some sort of recognition for their work. Just as we may stop for a coffee in the afternoon after grocery shopping (just an example).

 

Don't give up. Some day, you will see the benefits of all of the hard work. I have raised a daughter with severe LD. When we adopted her, she had been severely neglected for her first 9 months and has many problems including auditory processing, visual processing disorders, dyslexia, and a relatively low IQ. There were many days over the past 18 years that I just wanted to give up. But she is the most loving young lady that I could ever imagine and lives her entire life for the Lord. She has a servants heart and of all her sisters, helps me the most with her disabled brothers. This year she will be starting her own cleaning service after she finishes her apprenticeship. When she was five, I was told that she would be lucky if she ever read, period.

 

I just think of it in terms of baby steps because if you look any further ahead, you get totally overwhelmed and it just becomes too much. Take it all 15 minutes at a time. :001_smile::grouphug:

[cjbeach]

We're in the same boat.

My DS is dx'd pdd-nos but the only thing that was offered to us was a mainstream class being pulled out 2 hours a week for speech therapy.

My DS made it through most of the school year in K but we had pull him 4 weeks before the end of the school year for anxiety.

We're in the same boat.. academically DS functions above his peers. Socially he lags. But because he is high functioning he does not qualify for anything other than speech... this is what brought us to homeschooling.

I know many many parents of pdd and Aspergers kids who now homeschool.

Our last IEP was a joke. I remember going over and over about his anxiety (he actually STOPPED sleeping!) and his behaviors and was told point blank this was what was available to him. period. end of story.

Many people here have tried fighting it but there just aren't the educational funds HERE that exist in other states so though some people can fight it... if the money's not there, it's not there.

I just had this same conversation with someone else...funny it's here too.

 

My best recommendation is to put him on a schedule with rewards for work accomplished. My ds does not get to watch tv, play video games, play on the computer until work is finished. We do small rewards (play game for 10 minutes) if he does it.

 

We have a schedule printed out and we stick to it. Routines, limiting transitions, it's all about teaching him to stay on task. You will need to sit next to him and go through the page with him egging him on until he does it. IF I get up and walk away, the work does not get done. though it has gotten MUCH better. But I cannot give him an assignment and expect him to just do it. I'm there teaching and coaching him (something again, that was not done in school. If he spaced out or dillydallied in school then the work came home to finish.)

 

Being home DS has the 1:1 versus being in school where it was 1-1.5-18. He NEEDS me to sit beside him during things like Math. He did not like SIngapore so we switched to Horizon. Saxon would've been good to... for him it's repetition that works.

 

Narrations are tough, tough, tough for him so we're trying to work our way around it.

 

Btw my MIL was very mouthy that I just need to fight the school district and make them provide services...LOL. What a joke. People here transfer, move, whatever... yet it seems in most places schools are having such a hard time/ being overwhelmed by the amount of ASD kids in their population. Children here, UNLESS they are low functioning, are mainstreamed. No support, no aides/no shadows, Gen Ed classroom.

 

My MIL actually wants me to put DS back in school. Her thinking is "well with animals they just learn to adapt to their enviornment." DS didn't, he regressed and we saw some *major* anxiety develop. A LOT was missed with him. A lot. A lot more has been accomoplished at home. HOWEVER we still have to institute things like speech therapy and now we're adding some neurodevelopmental exercise into his homeschool day that he would NOT have gotten at school. Yet being home we can also work on social skills, life skills (bike riding, shoe tying, meal prep, making a bed...) that would not have been worked on at school.

[cjbeach]

If the ps cannot accomodate him, they are required to place him in a private school that can. They can provide him with services needed. Speech,Ot, Pt, etc...

 

Do you have great private schools in your area?

It depends on where you live. many people have tried to fight it in my area but the funds aren't there. Period. I know many classic autism children who are fighting to get what they need. High functioning children here are mainstreamed, period.

[summer]

Our schools have the funds..they just don't care. They love their image and refuse to do anything for anyone and power trip big time.

[summer]

They spend about $10,000 per student per year. They keep building more football fields and such. They pay their football coaches over $100,000 per year at the 5 high schools. (the pay is public record).

[newbie]

They spend about $10,000 per student per year. They keep building more football fields and such. They pay their football coaches over $100,000 per year at the 5 high schools. (the pay is public record).

 

:iagree:They definitely have the funds, plus extra, especially with NCLB, dont let them pull the *we dont have funds* game. If they dont have funds than cut admin wages and school board wages from the top.

 

No matter where school is located they have funds to meet a special needs child accomodations. Plus since they are not using it for your child its going into their pocket.

 

Case in point. My niece was in a class where she should have recieved accomodations, instead they were buying pizza and having a party every wk. I was just about to give up on SSI and made three more phone calls and god willing there is an atty who will take her case. Although I have been turned down by three attys.

 

Every case is different, even though other people may be fighting, your fight is different.

 

JEt