amo_mea_filiis. Posted July 22, 2012 Share Posted July 22, 2012 Or can i? We werecat the park for bit today and pb's mom comes strolling along with pb and his sippy cup. Dd asked if we could take him tonight and she said yes (i dont think its ever been no). Then ds asked what he was drinking. He had water and honey! Honey given to a sick baby?!?! Google tells me that and honey and babies still do not mix well. Anyway, i dumped the cup. So she pulls out a bottle. What's in the bottle? Not the necessary, properly mixed formula that this underweight and developmentally delayed baby needs, but pepsi! Oh, it was watered down so that makes it all better. :glare: I decided not to take him tonight and blamed it in the house being messy. Honestly, i'm terrified of him getting sick on my watch because of something she did! Both kids are already begging to take him next weekend, but i'm just not sure. He gets great care while he's here. A ton of much needed interaction, simple foods, plenty of formula, lots of cuddles and reading, much needed peaceful naps, and a full night's sleep. But when he's not with me, the care he receives is crap, plain and simple, and i'm done sugar coating or accepting "young mom" to explain it. He is neglected, period. I backed off a bit once CPS got involved, but they see nothing wrong either. On thecweekend that he's not with me, he's passed off to anyone who will take him. This turned into a bigger vent than i planned. My concern, other than this baby's safety, is myself. What happens if he gets sick with me?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicAnn Posted July 22, 2012 Share Posted July 22, 2012 I personally would take him any chance I got. That environment sounds terrible. If he got sick with you, you wouldn't be liable. Especially if there was an established complaint about his care (such as the CPS report). Tough situation to be in. Hugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davysmom Posted July 22, 2012 Share Posted July 22, 2012 :iagree:Take him every chance you get! Your love and care may be the very thing that get him through. I used to take of a baby like that. It was so incredibly hard!! His mom wasn't young either! It makes me mad just thinking about it. I agree you wouldn't liable esp since there is a prior report. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted July 22, 2012 Share Posted July 22, 2012 Even if CPS investigated initially and said they found nothing wrong I would keep calling. Call enough they listen better. Yes keep taking baby in the meantime but it needs to be reported each and every time you see her neglecting that baby. Neglect is hard to prove you need that paper trail of multiple calls. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kricau Posted July 22, 2012 Share Posted July 22, 2012 Yeah, me too, keep calling with every new compaint (like the pepsi bottle). And take that baby as often as you can, keep giving him the love and nurishment he needs. She sounds like she could care less if he is sick, so if he did get it at your house she probably wouldn't even notice :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted July 22, 2012 Author Share Posted July 22, 2012 Thank you! If anyone reading was thinking of my ds's behavior; having pb around helps a lot. He love this kid. When he went to the occupational therapist, ds sat and listened to activities we should do, and he's the first to yell at the mom when she gives him anything. I will text and take him today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bbmom Posted July 22, 2012 Share Posted July 22, 2012 Glad you are taking him! I would also take him whenever possible and just document if you are nervous. Get a notebook just for that purpose or email yourself-when he comes, document, PB arrived with a bottle of watered down pepsi and a cup of honey water. Threw both away and fed him xyz formula and rice cereal and pears (or whatever.) That way, if anything does happen, you can point to your notes about what mom provided for him and argue that any illness, etc. came from that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delirium Posted July 22, 2012 Share Posted July 22, 2012 I know its hard to try and educate someone when they don't want to be, and I don't know the back story here, obviously...but maybe she just doesn't know any better? Most places have some kind of free parenting class, maybe offer to watch kiddo so she can go to one? Don't excuse her for being young, accept that she's young and ignorant and help her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2cents Posted July 22, 2012 Share Posted July 22, 2012 I agree with the others, take him as much as you can. I would also try as much as possible to show the young mom how to be a better caretaker. Maybe you could offer to take her to the local WIC office if finances are making it hard for her to buy formula. Not only can WIC offer infant nutrition help but they also offer parenting guidance and classes. This mom needs a mentor. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted July 22, 2012 Share Posted July 22, 2012 How old is this baby? I have nit seen any of your threads regarding him but it sounds like neglect is a pattern? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruby Rose Posted July 22, 2012 Share Posted July 22, 2012 Any chance she will just let you keep him forever? :confused: such a sad situation. How old is he? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted July 23, 2012 Author Share Posted July 23, 2012 Glad you are taking him! I would also take him whenever possible and just document if you are nervous. Get a notebook just for that purpose or email yourself-when he comes, document, PB arrived with a bottle of watered down pepsi and a cup of honey water. Threw both away and fed him xyz formula and rice cereal and pears (or whatever.) That way, if anything does happen, you can point to your notes about what mom provided for him and argue that any illness, etc. came from that. I started keeping notes on my phone, but will transfer to a notebook for ease. I know its hard to try and educate someone when they don't want to be, and I don't know the back story here, obviously...but maybe she just doesn't know any better? Most places have some kind of free parenting class, maybe offer to watch kiddo so she can go to one? Don't excuse her for being young, accept that she's young and ignorant and help her. I'm at the point where it's obvious that she just does not care. She sees nothing wrong, and is engaging in baby wars all by herself. There is another baby a month older than this baby, and she is constantly giving things to pb that this other baby has. Other baby is crawling normally, big and healthy, pulling to a stand, etc. No one but pb's mom and 3 other baby-less people care about which baby can do what. I agree with the others, take him as much as you can. I would also try as much as possible to show the young mom how to be a better caretaker. Maybe you could offer to take her to the local WIC office if finances are making it hard for her to buy formula. Not only can WIC offer infant nutrition help but they also offer parenting guidance and classes. This mom needs a mentor. :) She gets WIC. I brought her to the family center, but she has no interest n anything. How old is this baby? I have nit seen any of your threads regarding him but it sounds like neglect is a pattern? Yes on the pattern. Most threads titled park people/stuff or pepsi baby could give you more info if interested. Baby is now 7 months. Almost sitting, but no balance. He can't grab many things unless using both hands and he'll squeeze instead of grasp. The kids and i let him play with our hair because he loves it and it doesn't hurt at all. He is crawling, but his movements are very jerky, floppy, and far from coordinated. He favors his left (i only remember because my ds is opposite). It takes a good 20 minutes to get him engaged in anything. Any chance she will just let you keep him forever? :confused: such a sad situation. How old is he? I joke that i'm going to steal him for a few months. She's 21 but not mentally 21. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 Any chance she will just let you keep him forever? :confused: such a sad situation. How old is he? :iagree: Heck, he can come live with us if that won't work- I'd love to have a baby around. :tongue_smilie: Seriously though, if it's something you're able to do, you might want to gently suggest that if it really seems like she doesn't want him and isn't going to care for him properly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted July 23, 2012 Author Share Posted July 23, 2012 :iagree: Heck, he can come live with us if that won't work- I'd love to have a baby around. :tongue_smilie: Seriously though, if it's something you're able to do, you might want to gently suggest that if it really seems like she doesn't want him and isn't going to care for him properly. I think she cares in the sense that he is her son, but the day to day life of raising a kid is beyond her. The only time i'm told no is when i want him for a week or more. However, that may not even be her talking; she lives with her mom who is not home on weekends, but takes primary physical care of pb during the week. Obviously the mother is also missing something if she thinks her grandson is healthy. This is why i only get weekends and daytime. The baby has to go home at night or pb's mom gets an earful. I hope this is because she's worried about grandson's safety. There is a paternity test being done, and both guys have said they'd sue for sole custody. The problem here is that neither guy is an upstanding citizen and would likely lose. They each have multiple kids with multiple people (that's not a flame; i have 2 by 2, but these guys have 4-6 all with different women, none of whom are very bright). My best bet is to continue documenting, reporting, and making sure that early intervention knows what they're going into next week. Well, that and taking him as much as possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delirium Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 Your replies made me sad. I really feel for this baby and I understand how you feel at a loss to help him. Super big ehugs for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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