Twinmom Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 (edited) I've had both my twins evaluated by an Orton Gillingham reading tutor over the past month, and both are surprisingly deficient in phonetic skills despite my best efforts at home. Not totally surprising, as one has APD with decoding issues and they were both diagnosed with neurodevelopmental brain delay due to meth exposure (approx. mental age of 7 vs. chrono age of 9). They both have fine motor issues as well, which I knew. Handwriting is atrocious unless I sit by their elbows and watch each letter...not always possible. They are bright kids and doing well across the board but have some definite skill areas they need to work on. So, here we go again with another round of therapy for both...to the tune of $500 a month. Will have to drop other therapies to do this...$300 a month neurofeedback will need to come to an end for both of them to afford OG, DD will have to give up some things and we will have to find time and possibly $$ to squeeze in an APD treatment program for at least one of them as well. Paid off van just died and we had to take on a new car payment, DH's company in its infinite wisdom decided to pick this moment to hold back part of his comp plan until the end of the year, leaving our month to month down 25%. Hmphh. I guess I am somewhat depressed about the whole thing. The OG tutor who evaluated them is my buddy from two houses down, and it is a perfect situation for ease of use and all that...I guess that the problem is that she has managed to hit all my buttons in terms of feeling like a failure as a teacher and parent. After listening to her kind of freak out about whether or not they have dysgraphia (don't think so) and not knowing whether the one twin has problems with phonics as a result of an undiagnosed APD or inadequate teaching (meaning, not teaching in the way he needs to learn vs. lack of effort...she knows how hard I try), I am having trouble putting this all into perspective. DH feels like a failure as a provider, since we cannot afford every therapy needed, despite a six figure income. Stupid, I realize, but that is where we both are at for the moment. We have spent thousands and countless hours on different therapies, countless hours on teaching and coaching and they have improved dramatically. Yet, here we are with kids who are still significantly behind in language development...this is just what they are capable of right now. I know it is not my fault, but I feel like it is. They are 7 year olds in 9 year old bodies...they are not going to be on grade level for language any time soon. Perhaps math, as they both excel at it, but language is a big ole boondoggle for them. I'm sorry if I am not the perfect teacher for them...that is the reason for hiring a tutor for reading. I am not reaching them in the way they need to be reached. I guess I am depressed about it and have no perspective at the moment, so I am just venting. Not much to advise me about, I'm sure. I guess what I am asking is this: am I right to believe that they are just fine the way they are? Personally, I don't really care how long it takes them to get there...as long as they are working at their own pace to get there. Their current reading level is a problem but not a failure on their part or mine. Their writing level is even less on my radar at the moment...I am trying to develop happy, healthy, well rounded little people here, not little scribes. They will write when they are ready. Glad to have the reading help, for sure. Just not in the mood to freak out because they are not able to be "on grade level" (ie, like everyone else) right now. I like them fine the way they are! Thanks for listening to this long vent. I will try to leave the grumpiness here with those who understand, pick my chin up off the floor and keep on truckin' now! ;) Edited July 21, 2012 by Twinmom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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