amo_mea_filiis. Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 I'm not sure if I can actually do this long term! With housing help, my rent and bills (only 1 not a necessity- internet/phone) equals $587. My total cash income is about $654. That leaves $67 per month in cash left over. This is not enough for gas and household items. The county fair is coming up. I can work the parking lot for 8 days and make a decent amount of money. Here's the problem- Do I leave ds with his aunt in NY for the whole time and work all fair hours? Or do I only work evening hours so ds is sleeping. He does not like the idea of going to his aunt's. I know he'll be ok, and his behavior will probably be ok for the week, but I could get some carp from him when I pick him up. He may never forgive me, or he could have a wonderful time. There are no more pullups that work, so he's in tabbed diapers that he'll need help with. He has to take his asthma meds. His paternal grandparents, who live with the aunt, are terrible models (have called my dd some names in front of ds regarding her color). He will eat junk the entire time. I'm leaning towards working evenings so he can stay in his comfort zone. What do you think? I'm not yet sure how much I can make either way. And... How in the world do I live with $67 per month?!?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 Is it possible to split the difference? Does it have to be all or nothing? How about working full days some of the time, and evenings the other? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelly1730 Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 I don't know how you live on $67 a month:grouphug: But, if it were me, considering that your son seems to be going through a tough time right now, I'd do my best not to upset his routine too much. Is it at all possible for the aunt to come to you for a few days? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 Who would be minding the kids in the eves? And where would your dd be if ds is w/his aunt? I was a single mom, and never made an employment decision w/what my kid wanted as the guiding principle. If I had, I wouldn't have worked at all, and we would have starved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted July 21, 2012 Author Share Posted July 21, 2012 His aunt is 4 hours away. I could maybe work the first few days full time, pick him up and only work evenings for the rest, or flip, evenings for the first half, drop him off, full for the rest. The only thing is I'm not sure if I would have 8 hours of driving time available to pick him up or drop him off after the fair starts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted July 21, 2012 Author Share Posted July 21, 2012 I don't know how you live on $67 a month:grouphug: But, if it were me, considering that your son seems to be going through a tough time right now, I'd do my best not to upset his routine too much. Is it at all possible for the aunt to come to you for a few days? I have not yet had to live on this. I have to pay rent August 1st. We also have food stamps, so food is never a consideration in the cash budget. Who would be minding the kids in the eves? And where would your dd be if ds is w/his aunt? I was a single mom, and never made an employment decision w/what my kid wanted as the guiding principle. If I had, I wouldn't have worked at all, and we would have starved. Dd would be fine alone. We have close neighbors, and the fair is only a few miles away. She could also float around the fair for a few days. I'm only considering what ds says because he would be away from me for 8 days. He has never been away from home without me since he was 17 months old (every other weekend with his father). I know I'm going to get flammed for this, but I went to school 2-3 evenings per week for a little over 6 months. I was a short distance away (same as fair) and the kids just went to sleep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted July 21, 2012 Author Share Posted July 21, 2012 The aunt has her own 2 kids, but the grandparents live there. I will ask, but I doubt she'd come up for the week. I will ask her today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 I wouldn't think that a fair would be a great place for an 11 yo to wander around unattended. And, honestly...ds can say whatever he likes, and feel however he's going to feel, but you need to bring in some income. That's pretty much the bottom line. I honestly don't know a kid that would prefer their parent(s) to work. Most would rather have both parents home ft and live off the lottery or something :tongue_smilie: It's like Mick sings, "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you get what you need" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted July 21, 2012 Author Share Posted July 21, 2012 I wouldn't think that a fair would be a great place for an 11 yo to wander around unattended. It isn't, but I've BTDT. Dd was a carnie baby for years, prior to ds being born. Eta, this is probably why she's so independent in some areas. And, honestly...ds can say whatever he likes, and feel however he's going to feel, but you need to bring in some income. That's pretty much the bottom line. My concern is not only him, but the influences as well. These are the people that got a non-verbal 2yo saying "oh sh**" as his first sentence! But, there are worse things. I know that my reduction in electronics and the type of things he can watch would be thrown out the window. I honestly don't know a kid that would prefer their parent(s) to work. Most would rather have both parents home ft and live off the lottery or something :tongue_smilie: Dd would love for me to work, as long as she continued HSing! LOL. It's like Mick sings, "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you get what you need" I have to keep in mind that I will need to find something longer than the fair, so the kids being here in the evening while I'm close by, could be a good trial period. Since *I* am the local go-to babysitter, there is no one to watch them like that. Putting them in school to work is out because there is never anything available during school days and school hours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted July 21, 2012 Author Share Posted July 21, 2012 I just reduced my phone/internet bundle, and will be calling for a smaller garbage can on Monday. We do not have TV or anything like netflix. The other bills are essential; electric, gas, water (that I'm not supposed to be paying). If the water goes back to the LL, life may be a bit more doable. I just found out that the aunt works, so her coming up, or ds going to her isn't going to work. It looks like I'll have to do evenings. Worst case, the kids don't behave, and I have to leave which frees up a spot that someone else would love to grab. (I know worst case possibilities are much more than them misbehaving, but let's leave it at that). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amber in SJ Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 How many hours would all fair hours be? How close to 12 is your dd? If the fair is only a few miles away can you leave them home & check on them every few hours? My dd was babysitting all day by 12 but she is just that way so YMMV. Can a neighbor check on them every couple of hours? Can a neighbor be on call for emergencies? With cell phones you can check in frequently. You can prep their lunch, snacks, etc ahead of time. Exciting books, audio books & movies from the library might help. You can coach them to not answer the door unless the person knows the password. Don't forget to decide on a password. They can learn to not answer the phone unless it is your special ring, like two rings & hang up, then call again. Is it the best situation? No. But when you are desperate you do what you have to do. Maybe your kids will see it as an adventure. My kids pretended they were living like Little House on the Prairie, or the Boxcar Children. I am sorry you have to worry about these things. Amber in SJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted July 21, 2012 Author Share Posted July 21, 2012 (edited) How many hours would all fair hours be? How close to 12 is your dd? 6 months. If the fair is only a few miles away can you leave them home & check on them every few hours? It's very close. Dd can text with her ipod. My dd was babysitting all day by 12 but she is just that way so YMMV. Can a neighbor check on them every couple of hours? Can a neighbor be on call for emergencies? I do have a few people that are local. With cell phones you can check in frequently. You can prep their lunch, snacks, etc ahead of time. Exciting books, audio books & movies from the library might help. You can coach them to not answer the door unless the person knows the password. Don't forget to decide on a password. They can learn to not answer the phone unless it is your special ring, like two rings & hang up, then call again. There is a special ringtone on the cordless phone for my number, so they don't even have to check the caller id. Is it the best situation? No. But when you are desperate you do what you have to do. Maybe your kids will see it as an adventure. My kids pretended they were living like Little House on the Prairie, or the Boxcar Children. I am sorry you have to worry about these things. Amber in SJ It's far from ideal, and yes they do have special needs. My concern with daytime is that ds will want to be outside. Evening/night has always been better because he's sleeping. Maybe I could do 2 shifts instead of the entire day. Do open for a few hours, come home, and go back after ds is in bed. Again, far from ideal, but legally it's ok. I asked my CPS worker specifically about my kids. Food is easy; yogurt and baby food for ds :glare:, simple to reheat for dd with microwave rules posted on the microwave. Audiobooks, DVDs, new apps for dd (she has a credit from my father); electronic babysitting at its finest. :svengo: It could be a wonderful way to get over this behavior hump (increasing necessary independence), or I could have to leave 1 hour into the first day and not make anything. After the fair, I could take them to the pool as a reward ($10.50). Eta- I could also offer to pay them $1-$2 per day that I'm able to work. Eta again. All fair hours would be 9am to 11pm. Too much without me stopping in a few times. Edited July 21, 2012 by amo_mea_filiis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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