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HAve you ever decided, mid life, that you wanted to be called something else?


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No, it's not me.

 

But I have a neighbor who has told my kids to call her Birdie. Out of the blue. It's not a family name, it's just a name she decided she wanted.

 

She likes to be eccentric, but do you think that is something that is bestowed upon you, or something you give yourself?

 

I mean, all I could think of was Ladybird Johnson, but that name was bestowed upon her.

 

I have to admit, this has given me pause. This person is... uneven? It's like she has a mental parade following her. :001_smile:

 

So I guess I'm asking if this would be another hit on your radar, or if this is normal and I should give it a pass.

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Well, there are times when I'd like Dh not to call me 'dear' and many times when I'd like to not be called 'mom'--at least for an hour. But, your neighbor's name change is a little odd.

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I have known a couple of people who had adult name changes... but they did it as part of larger transitions - like moving, changing jobs, etc. I can't imagine just saying out of the blue, "Call me Ishmael... or Birdie... or whatever," and having that WORK.

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Well, there are times when I'd like Dh not to call me 'dear' and many times when I'd like to not be called 'mom'--at least for an hour. But, your neighbor's name change is a little odd.

 

I know, right?! NO ONE is allowed to say, "Mom" for 3 hours!

 

I am ACTUALLY laughing outsloud....still, after getting up and getting DD a popsicle and thinking about it again. :lol::lol:

 

I am so puzzled by it, I don't really know what to think!

 

I have known a couple of people who had adult name changes... but they did it as part of larger transitions - like moving, changing jobs, etc. I can't imagine just saying out of the blue, "Call me Ishmael... or Birdie... or whatever," and having that WORK.

 

Exactly. I know people who have done that, too, but it was an overall life change. But this seems completely different. And, my kids play with hers a lot and I can't quite get a feel if I should reign them in or not.

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:smilielol5:

 

Beep! (on the radar)

 

:D

 

Well, I would love to change my last name back to my maiden name. :D I've never liked my married name because I think it sounds stupid. But I've always liked my maiden name. It's actually a German word.

 

And my favorite grandmother's name was Birdie, so I'm kind of partial to that one. She had a sister named Goldie, too, I think. But those are outdated names, aren't they? Not sure why anyone would want to take on those names.

 

 

Ok, but were they given those names, or did they one day decide they liked them et voila? Call me Birdie?

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It's fun to have a nickname...and if not during mid-life, then when?

 

If you don't tell people what you want to be called, no one knows it. I 'changed' from a longer name to a shorter version of it. Yes, there are many who still call me the long version, but many who call me by my preferred name.

 

And that reminds me....I have a friend who went from Brenda to Bre (like the cheese) in her forties. It suited her very well.

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Yes.

 

I decided I would rather be Jennefer when we moved back to CA about four years ago. Before that I was called Jenne (pronounced like Jenny). I decided it just wasn't what I wanted anymore.

 

OK, but that's not like you wanted to be called Rachel. You stayed with a derivative of your name.

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Yes.

 

I decided I would rather be Jennefer when we moved back to CA about four years ago. Before that I was called Jenne (pronounced like Jenny). I decided it just wasn't what I wanted anymore.

 

This is similar to my mom's request to be called Justina vs Tina. I grew up with her as Tina, so it was a change for me! lol

She was pretty bristly when I asked her why--she just said "Because it's not my NAME."

Ooookkaaaay, then, Mom. ....

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I don't know...now that it's on the 'radar' maybe I would like to change my name too....maybe something like "High Empress Katherine" or maybe "Her Uberness Katherine" or maybe .... boy, the possibilities are endless. :D

 

Your neighbor is sort of limiting herself, dontcha think?

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Yes, they were given the names. Never asked how they felt about them. But she did name one of her daughters (my aunt) Birdie. But we're talking 1911 when my grandmother was born. Not 2012.

 

Surely there are other clues as to the stability of the neighbor??

 

Well, Auntie Mame had a certain constancy about her. This lady doesn't.

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An adult can decide to change his or her name at any time. I don't see any problem with that.

 

I now, really, I do. I have a friend who went through a huge life change and named himself after an ancestor he felt a connection to. I'm not thinking this is anything like that.

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I don't know...now that it's on the 'radar' maybe I would like to change my name too....maybe something like "High Empress Katherine" or maybe "Her Uberness Katherine" or maybe .... boy, the possibilities are endless. :D

 

Your neighbor is sort of limiting herself, dontcha think?

 

:lol: The possibilities are limitless?

 

I think she was going for a Grande Dame type of name, myself.

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I changed my name when I was about 15. It did coincide with a move. My mom had named me the same name as her and it was causing problems (financial and tax wise). I also had never been called by that name but by a nickname that my mom made up. I didn't really like it and when we moved right after 9th grade ro a new town and school, I changed my name legally.

 

As it is, I will soon have to change my name again. It won't make any difference on what anyone calls me since I have only used my middle name since I was 15. But with the new ID rules, my current name has become difficult to use ( I have most documents in first initial middle name last name) but my passport and DL has my first name on it. My Military ID, credit cards, social security card, and everything else has only my first initial but my complete middle name. So I will now go file soon to make it all officially first initial, middle name and last name.

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My cousin, whose name is Elizabeth, decided to be called by a different derivative of E as an adult. I have not adjusted.

 

My Mom had 2 friends who changed their first name. Soon thereafter, they divorced their husbands. Mom always thought it signaled a mid-life crisis of some sort.

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My mother had a stroke and decided to change her name. She went from her full first name to a trendy set of initials (JJ actually). Along the way she divorced my dad, ran off with her married neighbor (who had recently finished a prison sentence) and lived on a sailboat for three years as well as cutting off contact with all of us because she was "tired of being a mom".

 

I hope your neighbor is a bit more sane than my Mom. :) (My mom, btw, eventually moved into a regular house and regained most of her brain!)

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At my last job, one of my colleagues had decided to change her first name to the feminine version of her dad's first name after she got divorced. She was changing her last name back to her maiden name anyways and decided that she never really felt like whatever her first name had been. I can't remember what the name was (something '50's-ish like Sharon or Linda) but the name I knew her by did indeed suit her better.

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I don't know, I'm in my 40s and never really liked my name. I dislike my middle name and would legally change my maiden name to my middle name if it wasn't a hassle and cost money. There are no sons left to carry on my maiden name, so it would be a homage to that.

 

First name? After I created the ElegantLion name I've had people online call me EL. I like it. Paula doesn't have a nickname and I've always hated that. I considered using E.L. (last name) as a pen name. However, my MIL (whom I adore) her real name begins with EL and she's a writer. So it would only be confusing.

 

I've jokingly told ds I wanted my tombstone to read Paula the Just, not because of my moral standars, but because I overuse the word just. :lol:

 

Unless your neighbor had other issues, I'd just (see, there it is) assume she was trying to redefine herself a bit.

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No, it's not me.

 

But I have a neighbor who has told my kids to call her Birdie. Out of the blue. It's not a family name, it's just a name she decided she wanted.

 

She likes to be eccentric, but do you think that is something that is bestowed upon you, or something you give yourself?

 

I mean, all I could think of was Ladybird Johnson, but that name was bestowed upon her.

 

I have to admit, this has given me pause. This person is... uneven? It's like she has a mental parade following her. :001_smile:

 

So I guess I'm asking if this would be another hit on your radar, or if this is normal and I should give it a pass.

Yes. I want to be called, Your Royal Highness, Queen of the Universe.

 

But it hasn't happened yet...

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My aunt did this in her 50's. I thought it was bizarre. The name had NOTHING to do with any of her real names. It just seemed random. She would also correct people who had known her for decades as if they were stupid when they used her old name. I did think it revealed a bit of her........immaturity.

 

My aunt did the same thing, she had always been "D" her first 50 years, then decided to go with her first name of "L"....I just could not change...they're both her 'names' so I just keep calling her "D"...I think it revealed something, just not sure what.

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I don't know that I'd think it enough to think she was going nuts, but maybe just a little...eccentric?

 

I hated my name as a kid. I was teased relentlessly and always mistaken for a boy(I still get mail addressed to Mr. Dusty LastName). It's grown on me as an adult, but then when I got married, my DH's last name has made my name just......funny. :P I don't think I'd ever actually change my first name, but sometimes I've wished for a normal name.

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I don't know that I'd think it enough to think she was going nuts, but maybe just a little...eccentric?

 

I hated my name as a kid. I was teased relentlessly and always mistaken for a boy(I still get mail addressed to Mr. Dusty LastName). It's grown on me as an adult, but then when I got married, my DH's last name has made my name just......funny. :P I don't think I'd ever actually change my first name, but sometimes I've wished for a normal name.

 

Now I am going to sit around guessing what your name is...

 

Dusty Roads

Dusty House

Dusty Wusty

 

I do like the name Dusty, though.

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:D When I turned 40 I decided that I would like to be called by just one of my nicknames. DH's family only knew me by the other one so they all have had to adjust. Meh, they think I lost my mind. For two years at least, until DH had his 40th and then they really got to experience an epic mid-life crisis. DH's layoff, his rejection of corporate for self-employment, our moving away from his family (the first family to do so ever), and our farm.

 

One BIL said, "Well, you can always come back when you get it out of your system." :lol: Yeah, that's not gonna happen. DH finally got his tractor. The one he's always wanted and planned for since he was 5. Among other things it's just a better life here.

 

My family always called my by that one nickname. They've never called me anything else. So we live near them and it's all good. In-laws still don't get it.

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This is similar to my mom's request to be called Justina vs Tina. I grew up with her as Tina, so it was a change for me! lol

She was pretty bristly when I asked her why--she just said "Because it's not my NAME."

Ooookkaaaay, then, Mom. ....

 

My mom changed the pronunciation of her name. Like Mary to Marie. It. drives. me. crazy. I still introduce her as the name I grew up knowing her by. I think part of it is that my mom had quite a bit of mental illness right after she "changed her name". Now that she's better and I have my mom back, I don't want to call her that. Because she's like her old self again. She's not that other person.

ITA, she insists that the new pronunciation was my grandmother's intention. I disagree.

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Me, nah...but my friend, my best friend did. She was about 40. It has taken me four years to start calling her by her middle name and sometimes it just feels right to call her by her first (original) name. She did it like many people do that are not happy with how their lives are running. It's like remodeling a home. You just want to reinvent yourself sometimes. It annoyed me that she wanted to do that. That's the real question I have about it. Why does it annoy us so much that someone wants to go by another name?:glare:

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It's weird. But it is her right to be weird, after all. :D

:iagree:

 

On a side note, My 11yo niece moved this past school year and decided she wanted to be called Leah so she told everyone that's what her nick-name was (she goes to PS). She didn't tell my SIL though and she didn't find out until the parent teacher conference when the teacher kept calling her Leah, my SIL thought she was talking about someone else. :lol:

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But I have a neighbor who has told my kids to call her Birdie. Out of the blue. It's not a family name, it's just a name she decided she wanted.

 

Maybe she's a fan of Mad Men? Wasn't that Betty's nickname or something?

 

I do know a man who legally changed his name mid-life. I have never asked him why, but I have kind of assumed it was because he is a different person from who he used to be (other friends have told me he used to be a bit wild), and wanted a new name to reflect it.

 

I have never liked my name. I'd love to change it, but I probably won't so long as my parents are alive.

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We actually gave our ds three names (one first, two middles) so that he could pick and choose what to be called during different stages of his life. One of his names is very traditional (think "John"), one of his names is... ahem... totally comic book b/a (think "Riot") and one of his names is Eliot (as in T.S.) He prefers his traditional "normal" name now, but if he ever decides to be a writer or stuntman, he already has the name to go along with either profession. :D

 

I don't know about just pulling a nickname out of thin air, though. That would be a little odd!

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Yes. I want to be called, Your Royal Highness, Queen of the Universe.

 

But it hasn't happened yet...

 

I don't know...now that it's on the 'radar' maybe I would like to change my name too....maybe something like "High Empress Katherine" or maybe "Her Uberness Katherine" or maybe .... boy, the possibilities are endless. :D

 

Your neighbor is sort of limiting herself, dontcha think?

 

I always wanted to be Her Royal Empresses Ruler of the World and all Surrounding Galaxies, but it is a bit long.

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When my sister was a small child she decided she didn't like her first name and wanted everyone to call her Katie, which is a modification of her middle name. Now that she's an adult, she's said some of the time she rather prefers her first name (Elaine) and some of the people at her work use it...but she can't get family to switch from Katie. Old habits and all that. :)

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I've always wanted to change my name...getting married and taking my dh's last name helped a bit, but lately (totally mid-life crisis here) it's been bothering me again. I think it's partially being adopted -- I'm working on just *who* am I supposed to be? "Amy" seems so whiiiiinnnnyyyyy. I would love to know if my birth parents named me anything. Considering my first foster family AND my adoptive family both named me Amy (unknown to each other), I'm not holding out high hopes for something different, lol. At least it means "beloved".

 

Maybe I'll just go around telling people, "Call me Cordelia..." :lol:

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I knew someone who did that. It was just one of the many odd things she did because she seemed to want to be eccentric... It just came off as strange.

 

She was the sort of person who made decisions based primarily on the "weird factor", though, if that makes sense. It wasn't so much that any parenting/lifestyle decision did or did not have merit on its own, but whether it would get raised eyebrows or be controversial.

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