Trying again for a referral and hopefully going for Assessment

[Ecclecticmum]

Hi *waves* first time poster in this area.

 

DH advised me tonight that the Doctor, Atlas is seeing, might be a good doctor to finally listen and get a referral from.

 

Is for Chaos (4 1/2 nearly 5). He has a multitude of little problems from when he was a baby up till now that keep raising red flags with me, but I either get the brush-off "next patient" or them turning the tables. :glare:

 

I just want one doctor to freely and ACTUALLY listen, assess, do whatever you want, and at the end provide a professional opinion, not a personal one.

 

This could be my final shot of finally getting a referral and finding out once and for all. And I really, really don't want to mess it up, so basically, I'm freaking out big-time. :(

 

In order to get the referral (1st step) what did you provide? Did you just walk in and ask for a referral? Something more?

 

The trouble is, when in the hot seat (person actually paying attention to me) I freeze, forget, stutter, am basically useless. I forget "symptoms", and if I bring a sheet of symptoms they look at me like I'm completely crazy.

 

Added to the fact I only have one boy. If I had 3 boys, I would probably be able to "separate" out what may just be a "boyish" tendency (yes, a bit genderist, but I got the sort of "boys will be boys" from one of the previous doctors) other times I have over-reacted, over stated on certain areas (when speaking on a forum, so obviously somehow my words made it sound worse than what it actually was, maybe because I, myself was freaked out at the time of writing it :tongue_smilie: ) that have made members (another forum, not this) suggest I was harbouring a child psychopath, when obviously it wasn't that bad.

 

Basically I want to go in there with a clear head, provide the minimum information possible to get a referral.....then possibly come here, and freak out some more about what to do next.

 

I simply really have no idea what he has, he has "symptoms" ranging from Stuff listed on various areas of the spectrum, SPD, a few ADHD items (not many though), and shows possible giftedness with logic/puzzles and possibly something else (had quite bad speech delays, i worked with him over the past year, hes improved dramatically, is basically understandable, but still not "clear") like literally a list a mile long.

 

I know its too much to ask for, for someone to say "here download this, fill in the answers honestly to this form, and give it to the doctor, she'll read it and decide...just sit there and wait for her to finish reading." but I can daydream.

 

So can anyone tell me the best thing to do? Should I write out a list of events/symptoms (remembering it could be quite long) if I ask for a referral, and she say explain, then what?

 

I am hoping to somehow be able to get an assessment from the place near me, and visit the OT (Atlas is due for a visit anyway) to get him checked for SPD, and any other problems as well.

 

Does anyone have any advice? (I may have to come in, back in the morning with a pencil and paper. I'm really a list girl) Thank you ever so much! :grouphug:

Edited July 19, 2012 by Ecclecticmum

[Slipper]

When I take my girls in for ANY medical visit, I type out my questions in advance. If it's a new doctor, I tell them that I have some questions and to let me know when they would like me to ask them. (Usually, our conversation answers several before I ask them). (Our regular doctors know that I have "the list" lol).

 

Prior to seeing my daughter's psychiatrist for the first time, we had to fill out all the questionnaires. I didn't feel like it appropriately covered my daughter's situation so I sent a one-page letter detailing my concerns.

 

My letters to doctors typically start with the problem and then the resolution I am hoping they will bring.

 

The most important thing to remember with lists and letters is to be concise or they get lost. Have someone else read the lists/letters at first to remove unnecessary things.

 

Yes, sometimes I get funny looks for bringing in lists, but mostly I receive compliments. I don't have long visits because my list keeps things concise. Doctors can treat us and leave knowing they have addressed all of my concerns. I write down answers which assures them that I will follow treatment plans.

 

I usually ask for a referral from our pediatrician's office, but sometimes I call friend and ask for the doctor they are using. Then I call the office and ask if they are accepting new patients. If I need a referral, they will tell me.

 

I think you should find a very practical, down to earth friend who can help you sort out what might be problematic and what isn't. If I listed everything my kids have done, they might sound like psychopaths as well. Find a practical person you trust and ask them to help you with the list.

[wapiti]

What kind of doc are you seeing?

 

One possible eval to add to your list: SLP, not just for speech issues but also for language processing issues that tend to crop up in speech-delayed kids long after the delay is gone. Maybe he's at an in-between age for that though (especially re: reading skills). You can get a free speech eval through your school district, though sometimes they are not as thorough as a private speech eval.

 

I'd see a neuropsych and get some psych testing done. He's young for some of that, but it might be nice to know if he's likely to be twice-exceptional. Others might recommend finding a developmental ped (for reasons I can't articulate, I have mixed feelings about them). Your school district may also offer some neuropsych services, though again sometimes the quality of the testing and analysis leaves something to be desired - it varies. But, it's free, no referral required. Just call the special ed department at your school district. In our district, there's a separate office for the pre-k age.

 

I have no advice on the referral as our insurance does not require referrals, though our insurance wouldn't cover a neuropsych appointment anyway. I just call the neuropsych and make an appointment with no referral. I can't imagine having to go through the regular ped, who I think has just as many questions about her own kids' spd-ish behaviors, lol.

 

I'll also add that kids are a work in progress. My late-bloomer, for example, looked completely different every single year between 3 and 7, and developed in fits and starts with various plateaus in between, in various areas. It's hard to be patient, but I'd focus on whatever the biggest symptoms are at the moment that are significantly affecting your/his life - for that age, I'm guessing SPD (that's about the age when my late-bloomer had OT).

[Ecclecticmum]

I "think" the doctor is just a GP. I am unsure about a few things in there, mainly the neuro-psych's and stuff, we're in Australia, not sure if that matters at all? Anyway, its really late here, and my brain has shut down, so will read through this again in the morning, and google some things.

 

I may need a "turning everyday language into medical jargon" book in order to make small precise bullet points.

 

What about if I just wrote down the things I remember, than added "symptoms" applicable from the above choices I wrote in my original post? Or would that seem too like I had googled? :lol:

 

I mean stating something like the following:

 

Me writing: ~ "He displays curiosity towards the animals, and towards his siblings, understands the basics of emotions, and the concept, but doesn't "thoroughly" understand the whole concept of emotions and how it applies to animals & humans e.g. that the noise the cat makes is a warning that it doesn't like it, he understands this and will continue, but won't understand why the cat scratched him. That whilst he understands he is hurting his sisters, the action=reaction and the concept of its not good to hurt your sisters is not a concept he thoroughly understands"

 

vs

 

Google: ~ Lack of Empathy

 

:lol: So its my blurting vs looking like I have just downloaded a checklist from google. I suppose I can just write "I can provide examples upon request, Thank you for your consideration" :tongue_smilie:

[LaughingCat]

I would write somewhere in between:

 

Lack of empathy:

1- doesn't understand why the cat scratched him

2- doesn't understand why he shouldn't hurt his sisters

[Ecclecticmum]

Thanks llolly, I bit the bullet and purchased a couple of books, that will hopefully help me understand more (it may be a while before his appointment with the GP, as they will probably only "accept" him as a new patient if he double booked when his sister is due to go there.) So hopefully I will get some reading time in.

 

I'll go over everything everyone has mentioned today, and save it stuff I should research into a notepad.

 

Least it gives time to slowly type up a list and edit it, and make sure I don't forget anything.

 

I will try just explaining I want a referral to the assessment center and OT, if he wants more info, I'll hand over the list.

 

Thanks to the replies, and a very nice person I have been PMing I have calmed down a lot, which is bound to help :001_smile: And Chaos now has his first set of Lego, so that will keep him busy & happy.