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Help with my young son, please


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So, my ds (2.5 years old) is quite different from my dd and I am not entirely sure what to do. For background, my dd was already beginning to blend and could write a majority of her letters at his age. Here is where we are with my little boy:

 

1. He can identify all uppercase and lowercase letters and knows the sounds for each letter. Thanks Letter Factory and Starfall! I don't think he is ready to blend yet so what can we do in the mean time?

 

2. He doesn't have a proper pencil grip yet, but I have read that it is a developmental thing. How long do I keep waiting for it "just to happen" versus correcting his grip? He does enjoy coloring and wishes that he could use a pair of scissors.

 

3. For math we have just started MEP Reception, as he is counting to 20 and has learned one-to-one correspondence. Drives me crazy when he keeps pointing out equal signs in my dd's math work, but that is an aside.

 

He needs some structured time every day, but can only handle about 10 minutes worth at a time. Ideally, I would offer him up to 30 minutes of planned activities every day. However, I need to have some sort of schedule since if I don't plan on it, then it won't happen.

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We did MEP Reception and Target/BrainQuest workbooks so dd could have "real school" time, and I also printed Letter of the Week and Enchanted Learning pages for her. Then when she was a little older, we went through MFW K, which is preschooly and fun but also gently teaches phonics. Happy Phonics has fun pre-reading games, too.

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Children are different, and there's not a thing wrong with that. He's got lots of time to learn reading and math, at this age there really is no rush.

 

I would suggest more hands-on things. Dig in the dirt, catch bugs (count legs, compare body shapes), plant things in the yard or in flower pots and watch them grow (beans grow pretty quickly, radishes and leaf lettuce are about the fastest things ready to harvest), look at the shapes of the clouds and learn about weather. Let him "help" in the kitchen; he could put cheese and lettuce and ham on the sandwiches, ice in everyone's glasses, sort silverware when doing dishes. He would probably have fun playing with play dough (homemade is better than store-bought IMO, do you have a good recipe?)--roll it with a rolling pin, squish it through a garlic press, make balls and snakes and other shapes. Stirring ice cubes in a pot of water and scooping them up with a measuring cup, sieve, slotted spoon, ladle, and so forth is entertaining and teaches coordination (and that ice melts into water, water freezes into ice). A tub or bucket of dry beans, lentils, or popcorn with some scooping tools can be all sorts of fun. Fingerpaint with pudding on the waxy side of a piece of freezer paper--you could practice making letters and numbers this way too. Physical development is important too, so you could practice throwing and catching, jumping, and hopping on one foot. That sort of thing. At age 2.5 EVERYTHING is a learning experience. Just talk about what's going on around him. He'll catch on. Try to learn to see him as an individual with his own talents and abilities, and don't compare him to his sister. He's a completely different person. Enjoy who he is, and don't stress over who he is not.

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Everyone develops differently, and everyone has their own personality, learning strengths, and so on. You know that, I'm sure.

 

However, generally speaking, girls learn and develop (both physically and cognitively) faster than boys, and firstborns faster than later children. Two children may have exactly the same in-born potential, but they may reach their potentials at different rates.

 

Go with the flow. Plan activities, but don't act on them unless he asks for them. Feeding a child information is sometimes necessary, but allowing a child to learn it on their own teaches many more skills that you simply can't teach TO someone... creativity, problem solving, follow-through, curiosity/drive to learn, etc.

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Thanks for the ideas so far. Mamasheep, we do just about all of the things that you list (except for fingerpainting), but he needs more. I was really hoping that he would show no interest in school-type activities until he was at least 3.5...just to make my life easier.

 

I have been doing Letter of the Week things as well, but he isn't really learning anything there because he knows his letters, colors, and shapes. He is still trying to identify some numbers. I am doing themed read-alouds to expose him to more vocabulary.

 

Anyone have any thoughts about pencil grip? Does it just happen naturally or do I need to encourage the correct grip?

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Anyone have any thoughts about pencil grip? Does it just happen naturally or do I need to encourage the correct grip?

 

At 2.5, he should be using all fingers for a pencil grip (which may be a fist for something as small as a crayon). Pushing at this age would do more damage than good. Like anything else, it'll happen on its own. By age 4, he should be holding it more or less correctly, but with thumb + 3 fingers, and by age 6, he should be holding it correctly with thumb +2 fingers. You should begin teaching scissor work now (Kumon has great books for toddlers), but don't expect anything spectacular. He should be able to hold scissors alone by age 3, and be cutting straight lines and very basic shapes by age 4, but you may still need to help, especially with heavy types of paper.

Edited by 2smartones
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It sounds like things are off to a good start! My youngest had quite a time gap between learning letter sounds and blending. He enjoyed little phonemic awareness games---trying to guess the first letter of a word, coming up with rhyming words, or naming as many words as he can think of that start with a particular letter/sound. He loved this kind of verbal play and initiated it all the time.

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To the OP, my #2 sounds similar to yours. She's known her letters and sounds for about 6 months now, but is just barely starting to blend. I feel your angst because one part of my brain knows that all kids learn at different rates and that there are many different types of intelligence, but the other part of my brain wants to believe that my daughter is equally capable as my son. Maybe I just haven't found the right "gimmick" yet.

 

If there were princess versions of Bob Books, for example, that would be a big help...

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To the OP, my #2 sounds similar to yours. She's known her letters and sounds for about 6 months now, but is just barely starting to blend. I feel your angst because one part of my brain knows that all kids learn at different rates and that there are many different types of intelligence, but the other part of my brain wants to believe that my daughter is equally capable as my son. Maybe I just haven't found the right "gimmick" yet.

 

 

My oldest knew all his letters/sounds by 2.5, and he could chunk any word into its individual sounds by 3.5, but he couldn't blend until 4.5. Then one day, he picked up a GL 1.5 book and read it - first book he ever read. The week before, he couldn't even sound out "cat". Go figure. :)

 

Letters/sounds knowledge doesn't mean a child is anywhere near ready to blend, and most kids aren't ready to blend until somewhere between 4-6 years old, even many of the gifted ones. ;) And some kids ready to blend aren't ready to read. My middle son could blend right when he turned 4, so 6 months earlier than his big brother, yet at 5.5, he's still sounding everything out and not ready to read real books yet at all. He has to sound out simple Bob book style books. By this age, my oldest was reading around a 2nd-3rd grade level. Then there is my 3 year old who could blend at 2.5, but isn't really ready to read. I suspect he'll read closer to 4.

 

All kids are different, and I just would not at all be anywhere NEAR concerned that a 2 or 3 year old isn't blending... or even a 4 year old... no matter how gifted the family is and the child potentially is. I imagine most gifted children probably learn to read in the 4-5 year old range. 4-4.5 seems to be a common "magic age" for that blending/reading to click, and then they take off at 90mph. My oldest just finished LOTR1 (he's newly 8), and I am still not even halfway done with the book. I started before him. :tongue_smilie: It certainly didn't hurt him to not learn to read until 4.5. :lol:

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I think that I am just trying to figure out what to do with him that will meet his need for "more." Trying to figure out more of what, if you will.

 

With my dd she was doing the Kumon books at that age because her fine motor skills were very good. I cannot go that route with my ds. Learning letters, shapes, colors, and counting will not work since he can do that. What is left?

 

I think that I may look into more Montessori type activities. Pouring and transferring in myriad ways may be enough for the time being.

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Guest LKRogers

My post may go against everyone else's ideas, but this is where I stand on your 2.5 year old...I think as homeschoolers we can be too anxious to advance our children. I think I was, particularly because I felt like they would not get where they should be because I was educating them. I am still educating them but they are now 14 and 15, both boys and ahead of most of their peers. One boy has done everything perfectly from a very young age, and the other not so. I would not stress over your son's pencil grip or his advancement in school. He is so young; and remember children learn as they grow, which means you have time to gently guide him and correct him over the years. And believe it or not what he does, or does not do now for schooling will not harm him. Because he is so young, you literally could be doing no school with him now and he would still learn and advance when starting later. I have always homeschooled my boys and the years have taught me that I could have relaxed a little when they were so young. And quite honestly 10 minutes of focused attention at that age is wonderful :)

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Our boys are turning out pretty similarly. Except ODS definitely wasn't able to write at 2.5 despite the fact that he was reading CVC words and such. My YDS seems to be consistently about 5-6 months behind ODS on academic stuff, though it's hard to tell because his verbal skills are on level but way below what ODS was capable of. Of course his gross motor skills blow his big brother out of the water :) I expect once he starts talking for real we'll figure out he's just as smart as his brother.

 

I'd relax on writing, you don't want to force that. Concentrate on tons of fine motor skills activities for the next year and then try writing at 3.5 and see how he does.

 

For reading you can use a magnadoodle to write CVC words and kind of talk him through the blending thing. You can also reinforce his letter sound recognition with fun games and activities during the day. I'd expect it to take roughly 6 months between knowing all the letter sounds and actually blending on his own. As soon as he hits his next growth spurt it'll probably just click for him, so probably at age 3.

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I would not stress over your son's pencil grip or his advancement in school. He is so young; and remember children learn as they grow, which means you have time to gently guide him and correct him over the years. And believe it or not what he does, or does not do now for schooling will not harm him. Because he is so young, you literally could be doing no school with him now and he would still learn and advance when starting later. :)

I certainly did not mean to sound like I am stressing. We are currently doing zero amount of schoolwork and I hoped to continue that in order to make MY life easier. Unless, of course, you consider watching Leapfrog videos as schoolwork.

 

The "do nothing" advice is not helpful in this instance because it is my son who wants to do more.

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Hey there....I think you're right about doing more Montessori type activities until he's ready for written stuff. Maybe just set up an area with Montessori activities and tell him it's his work and that will interest him. Particularly if the material isn't available all the time, but just certain times of the day (so you can work with your eldest). Also, have you let him try with the scissors and some cutting strips? The more time he gets to just check em out, the sooner he'll figure it out. If he's not ready, introduce them again in a month or so. He's probably looking for structure so giving him his own space and a bit of a daily routine (even if it's fairly short - 15-20 min) might ease this need.

 

Also, no rush on the reading, but he can work more on first sounds of words (matching letters to objects), and later then matching rhyming objects. Those are both Montessori activities that would be appropriate for his level. Very hands on, but still working with sounds.

 

I'm not quite sure what they are, but you can also give some activities for developing his pincher grasp. Any little tasks like transferring I think. A good, easy one my daughter likes is sliding beads onto pipe cleaners. A simple but very focused activity. Later I put #s at the tops of the pipe cleaners and she puts the right # of beads on.

 

I think even just putting out different jars with lids he can screw on and off is fun at that age.

 

My daughter was really thrilled with painting at that age too. The very early Kumon stuff might be good too (putting stickers in the right place, etc).

 

If you want a work-sheet type activity, how about dot paints? Those are great fun and actually not too messy.

 

Hope I gave you some ideas. Sounds like you know what your child needs, just not sure how to go about it. And you're right, it IS quite a bit of work! Good luck!

 

Becky

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Spelling. Spelling is actually easier to learn than blending, both my children could spell before they could blend. My son had a longer gap, he learned to spell a lot more words that he could not blend. My daughter only had a gap of a few months between spelling and blending.

 

Start with simple words phonetically regular like on, up, in, at and he, me, go, no. Then, you can move on to CVC words like cat and man.

 

You can do oral spelling and "written" spelling with letter tiles or magnetic letters. I like all uppercase magnetic letters for that age.

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Hi all. I'm new so forgive my basic questions. But what does blending mean? My daughter is 3.5 and can identify most alphabets but not all. Can count till 12. Should I be concerned. Your kids are all so fast. Also what does cvc words mean? How can I teach my dd to count more numbers and read alphabets correctly?

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Hi all. I'm new so forgive my basic questions. But what does blending mean? My daughter is 3.5 and can identify most alphabets but not all. Can count till 12. Should I be concerned. Your kids are all so fast. Also what does cvc words mean? How can I teach my dd to count more numbers and read alphabets correctly?

 

Blending means going from /c/-/a/-/t/ to â€catâ€. Most kids cannot do this until around 4-6 years old. My oldest, who reads well above grade level, didn't blend until 4.5. He knew his letters and sounds since 2.5.

 

Counting to 12 is great for a 3 year old. You have nothing to worry about. Remember that this is the accelerated forum, so there will be a lot of kids here doing things very early. Don't compare to those kids! Look at what is developmentally normal and compare to that.

 

For learning letters and sounds, I highly recommend Leap Frog Letter Factory. Most kids are solid after 2-3 days of watching that. :)

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I forgot to point out that if you want to work with blending concepts, you can just casually put it in your speech during the day without much effort at all. If you're talking about a cat, you can say 'Sam, look at the cuh-a-t' , or 'What is the duh-o-guh doing' (using only sounds, not spelling), with only minimal pausing between sounds. After a little bit of this, they'll probably pick up very quickly what you're talking about if it's in context, especially if you just reserve it for easy cvc words. Then when they go to do it themselves by reading, they're already used to hearing words sounded out like this! Easy peasy!:party:

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Also, CVC words are 3 letter words that are easiest to learn, usually with only sounds that follow the 'rules'. CVC = consonant-vowel-consonant. Dog, rat, hat, cat, sit, etc.

 

In general, it's easiest if your child learns the 'sound' of the letter along with the name (or just skip the name at first if you like). They'll use the sounds for reading and not the letter names.

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I would encourage you to check out montessori activities - 2 blogs/sites I found and liked were Montessori for Everyone and Counting Coconuts - I think if you google them they will be easy to find. If not, post here and I'll look them up. In true Montessori, you would prepare the environment - say a set of shelves with activities for him - and then let him explore and work on his own.

I would encourage teaching him to use scissors - my girls mastered that quite young and I know another family whose almost 3 year old is no where near advanced/accelerated but loves to use scissors to make confetti out of scrap paper. They are always ready for a celebration :party: and it has really helped with his other fine motor skills.

Also, your younger sounds like my younger. Who didn't speak much until 18 months, but could communicate quite well with signs and looks at a year. Who was much closer to "normal" than my older dd. And who suddenly picked up a new to us library book and started reading it perfectly at 3.5 years old - and has never looked back. So...you may be surprised. :D

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