Homeschooling the 12 yo girl...any tips?

[Wee Pip]

Any great btdt advice for homeschooling an upcoming 12yo (fall bday) - 7th grader?

 

Let's see...she *used to be* an early riser, but I'm suddenly seeing her sleeping in.

 

She used to just chip in and get it done, with a minimal amt of complaining and griping. Now the complaining/griping/arguing is REALLY ramping up (and we're just doing short summer reviews each day, not even real school yet).

 

Brain fog? Not sure if that's her yet, but she's been asking me every day to sit next to her while she does simple math problems :lol: She's insanely frustrated that the math is too easy, but I'm afraid to throw her into pre-algebra yet (still have Horizons 6 Book 2 to complete). I've been trying to do Hands On Equations with her, and she's flipping out because its too easy and she hates blocks (but I feel I'm laying a foundation for later on).

 

She's shooting down everything, angry about everything, and tellling me that *I'm* the one shooting her down. Sigh. Truth is, her handwriting is horrendous (I'll be enforcing cursive this year), and I've really given her a lot of wiggle room to overcome some of her writing aversions and problems. In some ways, I think this was very good (her handicrafting in free time has helped develop her hand, and now I think she can finally start forming some positive writing habits, in a way she couldn't before).

 

If I could play psychologist, I think she's "trying on" herself, trying to find out who she is, what she likes, and being pretty outspoken about it all, lol. I also think she's ready for a challenge in her schoolwork, but neither she nor I know what that looks like yet. That "blessed monthly event" hasn't arrived yet for her, but I betcha it will soon. She's always hated school, academics with a passion, and I've never been able to overcome that with her (no, she finds NO joy in ANYTHING academic WHATSOEVER, since she was 5...sigh). So all that blabbering to say...Help??? LOL! I also have a 3yo this year. God help me.

[Katy]

Have a serious discussion with her about what she wants. If she's that bored, move her up in math. Challenge her.

 

Maybe think about moving to more of a 3R's sort of curriculum, with lots of free time, but some structure, including more responsibilities.

 

I'd make her start reading Proverbs and maybe some sort of character curriculum too, but we use our religion to enforce character qualities a lot.

[HecticMama]

My 11 year old didn't always hate everything, but she pretty much does now. (Except history and grammar.) She always liked sleeping in, and began her "event" about 6 months ago, much to the chagrin of her parents. I sympathize greatly. I've been trying to tie everything in to what she loves to do (writing her stories), and I try to show her how everything she's learning now is relevant to her chosen "career." I have also been taking some time at the library to find books that she can use (as a carrot to get the other work done). But if anyone has more ideas, I'd love to hear them as well!

[Chris in VA]

IDK but I'll be :bigear: because I may be doing the same as you, as my 12yo begins 7th this year.

She had a fabulous year at ps last year; I'm still hearing about funny things that happened. No way I can compare to a roomful of interesting, funny peers and a wonderful, engaging and terrific teacher....:tongue_smilie:.

Should be interesting.

[TKDmom]

:lurk5:

[iamrachelle]

Perhaps her emotions are running rampant because of hormones. I notice my DD (also 12) is a bit more emotional/brain foggy just before her cycle starts each month. It was much worse the 3-6 months before she started. She wasn't disrespectful or disobedient... just emotional. I allow my DD to get as much sleep as she needs, when she needs it. Any sort of sleep deprivation seems to heighten her emotions. Just a thought... and a :grouphug:.

[wapiti]

She's insanely frustrated that the math is too easy

 

FWIW, that's where I'd say, "I can fix that." So, yes, if it were me, I'd challenge her. How to go about that appropriately is another question, but yeah, I wouldn't be having her doing extensive amounts of math that's too easy.

 

Unfortunately, I have no other advice (I make dd11 take fish oil for "mood" :tongue_smilie:)

[Elizabeth in MN]

We're in the same boat with my almost 12 year old DD. Some days I feel like coming down on her like an angry pagan god.

 

What I've done is this - we're taking a break. A break from fighting, a break from school, a break to stop and smell the roses. Currently she is under evaluation to see if she has some form of Autism. When we get those answers, I'll go to work on reading about it and seeing what can be done. In the mean time I don't get walked all over by her and her attitude.

 

Next month will be the turning point. I will have enough information on how to deal with her, and she's going to have a little sit down with me. I don't want to be a whole new mama, but if that's what it'll take to get her to where she needs to be then so be it.

[Lizzie in Ma]

Oh my, when did my daughter move to your house? :D

This kid has always been so sweet and even tempered, a little sensitive but so loving, until about 6 months ago.

Now she is back talky, argumentative and hates school.

I remediated her handwriting last year with the tried and true Italic workbooks, thank God I did, it is so much better now. She spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to tell me why it wasn't important but I stuck to my guns.

She does sleep later given a chance but I do find it better to stick to a schedule. She likes to know what is going on, very goal oriented so I have both chore charts and a weekly school planner plus a calendar of events.

I have also found that enforced physical exercise is critical. I don't care if it is Wii Sports of the 3 hour water balloon fight she had yesterday but the kid needs to MOVE it daily and extensively.

Trying to keep my temper and respond with firm and kind responses is the most difficult part for me, it feels like she hates me sometimes and that hurts.

Hang in there, this too shall pass. ( or so I keep telling myself)

[lionfamily1999]

For math, you could let her use Kahn Academy. It is free (so there is no financial burden) and online. Every video lesson is followed by a practice session.

 

My dd loves Sal, he does the Trig lectures.

[Heathermomster]

Keep practicing with the handwriting and incorporate the "writing 8" exercise. Have you taught her to type yet? Ramp up the math if she's bored and sit quietly beside her if she wants that.

 

I have a 12 yo DS, so can't be very helpful other than to add that dark chocolate helps me tremedously...:001_smile:

[AuntPol]

Keep lots of coffee and chocolate on hand!

 

We ended up unschooling my dd's 7th grade year last year because it was going worse than 6th grade and I couldn't take it. This year, we are back on track and she's doing much better. She finally started her "event" last month and I am hoping that will make her a little more even keel.

 

Mine still "hates" everything to do with school and it's all boring, etc. However, she is retaining more this year and able to tell me what she just read, is willing to ask for help in math, etc.

 

When I was in school, 7th grade was in a school by itself. Elementary was 1-6 and 8-9 was a different junior high school with a different name and different location!.

[kristi26]

I do not have a 12 YO girl, but I do have a 12 YO boy. These are my thoughts:

 

1. If she's bored with the math, move her up to where she isn't bored anymore. Boredom equals frustration and more hatred for school.

2. I remember when I was that close to AF, I was extremely hormonal all the time. I'd bet you're right about it being soon.

3. Try to add LOTS of free time and time for her to choose what she'll do. Is there anything at all that you can use for school that she loves to do? DS loves the computer and making games. I plan to use it in some way for school this year.

 

HTH somehow!

[Karen in CO]

My dd is only 11 1/2, but we had some serious trouble last fall.

 

Sleep. More sleep. My dd has been growing about an inch a month. She needs lots of sleep.

 

Last year, we talked about what she wants for school.We were trying to figure out exactly how we could continue. I listened to what she wanted and how she wanted to do it and incorporated it as much as possible. I told her what was absolutely required, and we worked out a compromise. We focused hard on getting to a point where school was getting done without the head-butting, stone-walling, and eye-rolling.

 

Exercise. Lots of exercise. I learned this with my ds, but it works great for girls too - so far. My dd has learned that sit-ups and push-ups are a terrific way to workout those feelings. Judo has been great for her. We also take walks with just the two of us. We either don't talk, or I listen while she talks.

[Katy]

I might add a b vitamin complex supplement- (I've been having headaches and just stumbled upon all of the ways vitamin B6 influences hormones - apparently it balances them out and reduces PMS symptoms quite a bit but it's better in combination with folic acid and B12).

[PeterPan]

Well I can only tell you what we've done. Mainly I try to keep the space, keep the peace, and keep people apart except when they're in a good mood (me included). So she has a list and is encouraged to work pro-actively by herself. I stay away and I keep ds away. And for the things where I have to work with her, I put ds in front of a Calliou and I sit with my ipad while I make sure she does her thing (TT math, whatever). In other words, guess you coudl say I taught her next to nothing last year, and that would be right, lol. It was all either co-op or technology-driven or something she could do independently. Keep the peace, keep the space, keep everyone alive.

 

I've heard 14 is better. For this coming year I'm going to try a bit more interaction, but we're definitely keeping the seriously structured To Do list checklists. We had used them before, but I'm being obsessive about it for this year, putting more on and planning out more subjects in advance. Just makes it a little more matter of fact, this is how it is, dispassionate.

 

When all else fails, remember Jessie Wise's way of handling stuff. Say to the kid: 1) You need a sandwhich. 2) You need a shower. 3) You need a nap. Was take a walk on there? I forget. Anyways, we've had a LOT of that this year, lol. Lots of naps, lots of de-escalating the drama and having her wake up just fine and smiley again. :)

[Karen in CO]

Well I can only tell you what we've done. Mainly I try to keep the space, keep the peace, and keep people apart except when they're in a good mood (me included). So she has a list and is encouraged to work pro-actively by herself. I stay away and I keep ds away. And for the things where I have to work with her, I put ds in front of a Calliou and I sit with my ipad while I make sure she does her thing (TT math, whatever). In other words, guess you coudl say I taught her next to nothing last year, and that would be right, lol. It was all either co-op or technology-driven or something she could do independently. Keep the peace, keep the space, keep everyone alive.

 

I've heard 14 is better. For this coming year I'm going to try a bit more interaction, but we're definitely keeping the seriously structured To Do list checklists. We had used them before, but I'm being obsessive about it for this year, putting more on and planning out more subjects in advance. Just makes it a little more matter of fact, this is how it is, dispassionate.

 

When all else fails, remember Jessie Wise's way of handling stuff. Say to the kid: 1) You need a sandwhich. 2) You need a shower. 3) You need a nap. Was take a walk on there? I forget. Anyways, we've had a LOT of that this year, lol. Lots of naps, lots of de-escalating the drama and having her wake up just fine and smiley again. :)

 

I think it is a walk or exercise. My ds still does this in college when he is feeling stressed or out of sorts - sandwich, exercise, shower, nap.

[Wee Pip]

Just wanted to thank everyone for the helpful replies! I'm really burning brain cells thinking thru some of my curric choices this year (mfw ecc), but I went into it thinking I'd tweak heavily as I go. Doing projects together as a family during schooltime probably wont work (it never does, but I still try, lol). I think keeping everyone separate will be important. Having things planned out, clear directions, and independent will be our saving grace (so the mfw tm might not be so good for that, either). Also, I think I'll give room for some of those strong opinions and reroute it towards goal setting (this is YOUR education, not mine, so what do you need to do or learn?). She has asked to do lots of arts and crafts this year, so I have a ton of stuff ready for that!