kalanamak Posted July 14, 2012 Share Posted July 14, 2012 Looking for a show of hands on those who are the major or only breadwinner in the family. How did you arrive in this situation? (E.g. better wages, divorce, more jobs in your field, hubby's turn to stay home, illness, etc). I got there because I could make more money, and jobs with benefits are easy to come by in my field. His work was on again/off again, and no benes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen in CO Posted July 14, 2012 Share Posted July 14, 2012 (edited) I'm right about 55% of the income plus I carry the insurance. He spent about a year as a stay-at-home dad. It was a disaster - terrible for our relationship and his self-esteem. I have only entertained the idea to not work a few times since I was 16. I'm just not that person. I watched my mom be the perfect stay-at-home mom for my whole life, until one day she and my father split. She had never been anything other than his wife and our mother. She currently lives with me, and I support her. Dh and I purposely keep our bills at a level that either person could carry the whole load which makes us feel less vulnerable, but we met at work and married as full financial equals. It works for us. Edited July 14, 2012 by Karen in CO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted July 14, 2012 Share Posted July 14, 2012 I am not the major breadwinner, but I am the only out of the home working parent. I teach high school. DH, who has the same degrees as me, is a software designer. I make about 1/2 of what he does, but he is home with the kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted July 14, 2012 Share Posted July 14, 2012 I've been the primary breadwinner before when DH was in grad school and it's looking like I may be it again for a time in the near future :( DH can make a LOT more, but the financial services industry is a big mess. Even if he gets one of the positions he's interviewing for, I may still resume employment just so that we can build up more of a cushion just in case. I probably should have done it before because of the instability in his industry but we really wanted me to be home while the kids were young. I hate this lousy economy and am SO beyond ready for it to turn around. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlmiraGulch Posted July 14, 2012 Share Posted July 14, 2012 I was the primary breadwinner in my first marriage, partly because of my education but primarily because he just kept getting fired from jobs. At one point, about a year into our marriage, we made close to the same amount. I'm the primary breadwinner again in this (my 2nd) marriage. I make roughly 2.25 times what my husband earns. Again, a combination of my education and my field (HR technology/consulting). The difference between my 1st and current husbands (well...there are SO MANY, but on this topic) is that my current husband is a wonderful man, with an outstanding work ethic. I have no doubt that if for some reason I could not work he would do whatever he had to to make sure he took care of his family. I've never cared that much about who was earning what. I do care about the mindset and effort behind it. Meaning, I don't care what you earn, but I care very much that you be the best you can be at whatever path you choose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennynd Posted July 14, 2012 Share Posted July 14, 2012 I've been the primary breadwinner before when DH was in grad school and it's looking like I may be it again for a time in the near future :( DH can make a LOT more, but the financial services industry is a big mess. Even if he gets one of the positions he's interviewing for, I may still resume employment just so that we can build up more of a cushion just in case. I probably should have done it before because of the instability in his industry but we really wanted me to be home while the kids were young. I hate this lousy economy and am SO beyond ready for it to turn around. :( Lol, I was the breadwinner b4 my hubby done with his PhD also. We were classmate in graduate school and I decideded to leave after Master and he stay for PhD. . I am still working and we are just about 50/50. I suppose I just can't give up my income when it is quite substaintial. I do rather be with my kids but not 24-7... I am quite conflict. Whan I am at work, I iss my kids and when I am home I miss work.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandamom Posted July 14, 2012 Share Posted July 14, 2012 I'm sole income earner in my household due to dh losing his job a number of years ago. He can't make more than enough to pay for daycare for 3 kids so he's home with the kids. I make a decent amount of per hour at my one job (tutoring) but it isn't very consistent and I'm kind of at the whims of the school schedule. We're trying to get dh's business off the ground so hopefully I won't be the sole bread winner but the primary one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gracesteacher Posted July 14, 2012 Share Posted July 14, 2012 i am the sole earner. My dh has medical issues and can no longer work. I took the first three years off and he work s many jobs to make that happen. I am able to one one and only work 36hrs a week and make double his salary plus we are together more. I work over nights three nights a week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milovany Posted July 14, 2012 Share Posted July 14, 2012 (edited) Last school year it was probably 90/10 (me/him); this coming year it will be more like 60/40 or 50/50. We did it this way because I was able to get into a field almost three years ago that one year ago began paying twice what he was making. So I could work fewer hours and still put more money in the bank. My dh is a hard working guy, it's just the field he worked in for a number of years really tanked (residential construction) and I got into my field at the same time that started happening. My income increased steadily over time, to the point where my dh homeschooled the kids last year while I worked (and he was so much better at that than I have been!). He did gain employment this past spring, and now we'll both be earning income beginning this fall (I don't work in the summers). We'll have to have some adjustment time to see how much I'll be working; how much homeschooling he'll be able to do while still working his 40 hours a week. If he can still do all the homeschooling, I'll keep working almost full time, too. If not, I'll work less. My husband worked hard for a lot of years supporting our family as a self-employed contractor/carpenter. I love that I can give him a bit of a break now and we can both spend more time with the kidlets. And I love my job so it's working out great, glory to God. Edited July 14, 2012 by milovaný Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jar7709 Posted July 14, 2012 Share Posted July 14, 2012 For many years I earned almost twice what DH made. Now that I am part time he 's got the edge on me, say 60/40. If we desired it I could easily out earn him again. I have more education and more specialized skills than he does. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted July 14, 2012 Share Posted July 14, 2012 I'm a single adoptive parent. The buck stops here - and so do all the bills! It's nice to not have to answer to anyone regarding money issues. I'm sure it would also be nice to have some help in building up an emergency / retirement fund, but right now I'm not in a position to worry about that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TCB Posted July 14, 2012 Share Posted July 14, 2012 I'm the major earner, about 70/30 I think. My dh can't get any work that earns a decent amount and if he worked full time I would still have to work and we wouldn't have anyone to be with the girls. Before the crash I was a SAHM for about 18 months, but most of our marriage I've been the major earner. My dh is extremely smart but is a bit of an absent minded professor, which doesn't always help the job prospects. I organize and do most of the homeschooling, dh supervises and helps teach things like Latin, logic and art. Even the topics he helps teach - I do the organizing. I should add that I work part time as an RN, fortunately I can earn enough for us to get by and still only work 2 shifts a week instead of 3, for which I am thankful. Dh works part time teaching at a CC and is studying for his PhD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose in BC Posted July 14, 2012 Share Posted July 14, 2012 After a dozen years at home, by virtue of my dh losing his job of 21 years to a mill closure two years ago, I am now the breadwinner. We have had a few significant struggles during the past couple years but the one good thing is my job. When I returned to the workforce I was in a tough situation there but because I persevered (really because I couldn't afford to quit), personnel changed and I landed my dream job in a career super suited to my personality. My dh is looking for work however, we have three teens at home who are enjoying the benefits of having dad home. So for now we're content. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brehon Posted July 14, 2012 Share Posted July 14, 2012 I am the sole breadwinner. It was a combination of my work having a better schedule, better bennies, and an equivalent take home wage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparkygirl Posted July 14, 2012 Share Posted July 14, 2012 I am also the working parent in our family. DH managed a small hobby shop which closed and the cost of daycare was more than his pay. He has embraced being home and it is his desire to homeschool (with me being the one doing the research) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aelwydd Posted July 14, 2012 Share Posted July 14, 2012 My dh got laid off last August, and I got hired on with the tech company I work for now right after. Ergo, he stays at home and does the majority of home schooling, and I work. At some point, he will likely go back. It just depends on our circumstances. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thefragile7393 Posted July 14, 2012 Share Posted July 14, 2012 Sole provider and sole parent here. Not by choice but necessity on both ends....someone else made that decision for me. I work three 12 hr shifts and one 6 hr shift....so I can homeschool the other 3.5 days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pegasus Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 Sole earner here since first DD was born. We wanted a parent at home and I had the more stable higher paying job. It was not a difficult decision and we've had no angst about it. It works for us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 Looking for a show of hands on those who are the major or only breadwinner in the family. How did you arrive in this situation? (E.g. better wages, divorce, more jobs in your field, hubby's turn to stay home, illness, etc). I got there because I could make more money, and jobs with benefits are easy to come by in my field. His work was on again/off again, and no benes. I am in a similar boat as you are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elfknitter.# Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 I was due to education. Dh has a high school degree, I have a master's. Until my profession tanked, it made a difference. Now I'm about to be laid off and hoping dh can find some kind of general labor work on a night shift. (He prefers night work.) He used to do warehouse/ logistics before becoming a SAHD/ community college student. But he's been out of work for about 7 years, so I'm not hopeful that he'll find something too long before me. I'm just thankful we have something to fall back on for now besides resorting to public assistance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 I was working twelve hours a week. Husband lost his full-time job and hasn't been able to find another one yet. In the mean time I retrained and took another job (28 hours a week). Mine is now the only wage, although we also have income from a rental property. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeanM Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 I've the major breadwinner since DH's former job ended about 2.5 years ago. I still sometimes hope that he'll get another job since I think I enjoyed being the homeschooling parent more than he does. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 Not now but I have been! Once DH finished his degree we both worked. I quit work about 5 years ago now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m0mmaBuck Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 Over the course of our relationship, there has been an ebb and flow as to whom is the major breadwinner. When we first got together I was "on top" of a 75/25 split because of my education and his choice of careers (soldier). When he retired, he was a SAHD while I was the only breadwinner (100/0). He then got retrained and went back to work part-time, 75/25 split once again. He started a business and eventually I went to part-time and finally a SAHM.... 0/100%. Then the economy tanked and so did the business so I went back to work parttime to stabilze our family income.... probably 75/25 again. At this point, my parttime income can sustain the family but since business picked up again we are probably at 60/40 with me "on top." If business continues to pick up I will probably cut my hours but not completely leave my job because it offers us financial stability and I am happier for having it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrbmom77 Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 Never married, always been the sole support. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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