swellmomma Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 Okay so I posted about this boy that I am now watching. Mom is a SAHM she sends him 3 days a week to socialize him (which I find hilarious given the worry about lack of socialization in homeschool families). Anyway, lately mom has been bringing him 30 minutes early, and picking up 30 minutes late. It gets frustrating. Today he was 45 minutes late. I thought he wasn't showing up, so while the little girls played and watched Dora I was printing off some activity pages for today. I come out of my office, where I was for about 5 minutes and there he is in my house, his mom no where in sight. Apparently dd4 opened the door for them, I didn't hear them due to the printer noises, mom puts kid in the house and LEAVES. No hello, no checking for me, no letting me know he is here. SO I come out from printing pages and surprise. WHO does that? WTH is she thinking? WOuldn't you double check that your daycare provider knew that your child had arrived? I am in a tight spot, I really need this money, but the boy is distructive and rude, and mom is a flake so I think I may have to give them notice. What if something happened to him? I go through a routine with the kids and dogs when they arrive to ensure the dogs are greeted properly as if they are they do not jump on the kids and generally leave them alone after that greeting. PLUS this kid is very rough with kitty and so I like to put kitty outside when boy gets here to protect it. So the boy was standing there at the door, squeezing the cat, the dogs were jumping around though thankfully not right on him. DS13 and I walked out at the same time to the same shock, that essentially this woman left her son in the apparent care of my 4 yr old. weirdo! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 "There is a proper exchange of a child," and this is not it! I am surprised how many of my kid's friends have parents that do not check in on them. Or maybe she is just uber trusting of you and knows nothing could ever happen to him on your property? Weird ya, but there are all kinds Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 How is she paying you? By the hour? By the day? I'd have a very frank discussion with her and clarify that you will watch him from ____ a.m. to _______ p.m. for the rate of $________. Any time he spends at your home outside the time frame will be billed at the rate of $_____/hour (and I'd make it expensive) and must be paid before he can return to your home for further daycare. Period. No exceptions. I'd also make it clear that she must see you/speak with you when she drops him off and picks him up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4everHis Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 I would speak to her about both issues. I would also set up a 'fine' for being late. There's no excuse for every day. Even if she isn't 'working' YOU are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted July 13, 2012 Author Share Posted July 13, 2012 I think I'd just be honest. If she continues after that then drop them. I think you should at least give her a chance. Maybe she just had a totally different thought about this than you. Maybe she figured she didn't want to bother you? Who knows. The being very late thing would bug me though. Once in awhile ok, but come on. I hate when people are always late. I had them for the month of January. Told them I would see them Monday, which was the first Monday of February, they just never showed up. Never heard back from them until middle of last month, asking to take him back on. So I have had him for 4 weeks. In those 4 weeks, she has dropped off early, and picked up late for 2 of them, today was a drop off late without letting me know he is in the house. I feel like I have been giving her a chance. My concern is he can not be left alone for a moment when he is here. I don't even go to the bathroom when he is here without one of the big kids closely watching him, because he has ruined my sofa, coloured on walls and toys, hurts the cat, goes into rooms that are off limits, goes out the front door etc. He is a handfull, which I can handle when I know he is there because then I can properly supervise him. With the little girl i watch I can leave the kids in the livingroom and go in the kitchen to make lunch or the office to print things off for him. With him I have to keep him at my side or he is up to something. This was a substantial safety concern for her to do that with him. I need this income so very very much, that is the only thing that has kept me from giving notice already. He is not a monster child, he is rarely mean to the other kids, it is just a major safety issue due to his behaviours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 Group care programs always have a required sign in/sign out policy and in the center I worked, a teacher had to initial when a child was signed in/out so there was documentation that the parent had handed off to a specific adult. Maybe you need to implement something similar? You can probably find it in the child care regulations for your state and use that as an excuse (even if they don't apply to keeping only a few children in your home, it's unlikely this mom knows that). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted July 13, 2012 Author Share Posted July 13, 2012 "There is a proper exchange of a child," and this is not it! I am surprised how many of my kid's friends have parents that do not check in on them. Or maybe she is just uber trusting of you and knows nothing could ever happen to him on your property? Weird ya, but there are all kinds I am sure that is the case. I don't think she realizes how much work is needed to ensure that is the case and that it starts with proper supervision. It just left me shaking my head. I will have to discuss it with her tonight when she picks him up and let her know I HAVE to be aware of his arrival. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BMW Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 Absolutely go over the basic rate and the increase for additional time as well as letting her know that drop off and pick up the two of you must meet up. Perhaps you live in a very safe location and she felt comfortable, but anything can happen in a minute or two or even less! Your basic rate stays the same if she brings him later because you are committing to that time frame and you are available for her. That said... I have at times been the wishy-washy mom of many young kids. I was never intentional about it, but life had a way of getting crazy on me with all my little ones and I am sad to remember, looking back, that I took for granted some of the help I had along the way and didn't have the social skills with the women who did help me at the time. I was very needy at times. Fortunately, I learned from some who cared enough to speak into my life as well as help... So, I encourage you to be firm BUT GENTLE the first time. After that, be firm and ask her to find someone else... Just my thoughts... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted July 13, 2012 Author Share Posted July 13, 2012 She does sound pretty flaky. Let's put it this way. His very first day with me back in Jan his mom was laughing about how he left the house when she was showering and she found him on the train tracks 2 blocks from her house. Apparently he wanted to see Thomas the train. I did not find it cute or funny. I found the whole scenario terrifying. As the mom of a boy that used to run away and be found blocks from home riding an elevator in an office building on more that 1 occasion I know kids can get away in the blink of an eye and find ways around your child locks etc. I still never found it funny. I wasn't blaming her for it happening but was shocked she thought it was so cute while laughing about it. All I could imagine was what a tragedy could have happened. The boy can be very sweet, I like him most of the time. Like I said when properly supervised he is generally fine. But mom certainly has different thoughts on safe procedures than I do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 Let's put it this way. His very first day with me back in Jan his mom was laughing about how he left the house when she was showering and she found him on the train tracks 2 blocks from her house. Apparently he wanted to see Thomas the train. I did not find it cute or funny. I found the whole scenario terrifying. As the mom of a boy that used to run away and be found blocks from home riding an elevator in an office building on more that 1 occasion I know kids can get away in the blink of an eye and find ways around your child locks etc. I still never found it funny. I wasn't blaming her for it happening but was shocked she thought it was so cute while laughing about it. All I could imagine was what a tragedy could have happened. The boy can be very sweet, I like him most of the time. Like I said when properly supervised he is generally fine. But mom certainly has different thoughts on safe procedures than I do. Whoa. That is NOT a thing to find funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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