I'm going to stop making lawyer jokes and

[Halftime Hope]

start telling (pick one adjective) "pushy/rude/insulting realtor" jokes instead. (Can you tell jokes about realtors who have zero reading comprehension skills, or is that just too politically incorrect?)

 

Seriously, I listed our property with a flat fee listing service that does NOT list on the MLS which is local to the area, so that PEOPLE (buyers who are looking) could find us on Realtor.com and every other possible real estate website that is populated from there, but it wouldn't show up on the local realtors' MLS listings.

 

Even so, I knew there was a small chance that realtors would have their IDX feed set to send them listings by zip code. So in the listing that I wrote, it not only says For Sale By Owner, but also: "BUYERS' AGENTS: owner prefers to sell directly to a buyer and not engage realty representation for either buyer or seller at this time. Thank you."

 

I thought it was too rude to put "Buyers' Agents: DO NOT CALL", like I've seen on some ads.

 

Apparently not. :glare:

 

Within the last two days, I've had

 

one agent who insisted, repeatedly:

 

1) that I needed her,

2) no one would find us (um, you did),

3) that if I listed with her I could, a) be all over the internet, and b) have 3 times as much exposure. a) I am. b) Nope, I have all the exposure we can handle (67 individual showings so far, and many of those coming back repeatedly, bringing their kids, fiances, and dreaming together) AND I actually have more than I can handle: you're a realtor bugging me, right? and I was trying to make it hard for you to find me!) We still have another week and a half of Open Houses scheduled.

4) that she has cash buyers, investors, who are paying 20K over the asking price on short sales and foreclosures (hard properties that require a lot of patience for the buyer), and she could get me a lot more than I'm asking for, and her clients would pay her commission on top of that price. Then she went to see the property and told me she'd be glad to bring several of her buyers to see it, but she wouldn't ask them to pay more than $25K less than the listing price due to the condition; this is for a lake property priced at the bottom end of a reasonable market price range that takes into account the cash needed to update it. The price was based on an exact triangulation of three different neighborhood realtors pulling comps for me, and we picked the lower end of their range. (Umm, no, I don't need you or your cheapskate investors.)

5) and to cap it off, that I need her to bring serious buyers who are pre-qualified, because a lot of people out there are just messing around. Um, yeah, so what? I have that covered. When all the offers are in by the deadline date, I'm only going to look at the offers that come with a complete package of financial documentation, including a *pre-approval* lender letter (better than a pre-qual) or Proof of Funds letter attached to them. The buyers all understand this. They are all ecstatic at the way we are selling the house and are falling on their knees over the phone thanking me for the common sense way we are doing this. Dear Ms. Realtor, did you even look at the "How To Make This Home Yours" flyer I have available for buyers?

 

As if she wasn't insulting enough, I had a realtor call yesterday afternoon asking about the showing instructions. I asked how she found us, as the Open House times are explicitly listed on Zillow and on the informational web page in the banner ad from Realtor.com. :confused: She said her son was looking and found our listing on Zillow, and she mentioned that Zillow says "will work with buyer's agents." I read her the "no agents" wording that we put on Zillow (bolded above), and apologized for Zillow's boilerplate. Over the course of the continuing conversation, she asked an additional two times about the commission. I finally told her that if her son bought the property, her commission would be paid when, in 5 -10 years, she gets an invitation to watch her grandkids learning to waterski in their own backyard lake. :lol:

 

Yep, she wanted me to pay her a realtor commission for my selling the property to her son! :svengo:

 

I swear, I'm going to start offering both "Logic for Realtors" and "Manners for Realtors" courses.

 

Rant over, thank you for listening. Hope you found it entertaining!

Edited July 13, 2012 by Valerie(TX)

[kalanamak]

I had one who clutched her chest, gasped, staggered and called out, "This house is YOU!" every house we went in.

 

Love my guy now. 100% professional, efficient, etc.

[DawnM]

I have never found a realtor I loved. :glare:

[beaners]

Reading comprehension? Our agent made several spelling errors on our listing. Nothing surprises me anymore.

[Lara in Colo]

I had one complain that I had seen x amount of houses and I hadn't bought one yet.

 

A) she kept showing houses that we not acceptable (hoa's)

 

b) I had made several offers that were accepted and backed out of by the seller.

 

How was any of that MY fault and isn't showing houses her job?

All in all, the house whole process was over in 6 months and she made a commission on my sold house and my bought house.

 

 

So I'm thinking a class in tact.

[kalanamak]

I have never found a realtor I loved. :glare:

 

And mine was an ENGLISH MAJOR.:001_tt2:

[gardenmom5]

Yep, she wanted me to pay her a realtor commission for my selling the property to her son! :svengo:

!

:lol::lol: well, I guess he can take out a bigger loan to pay her. Or just increase the sale price by how much she thinks she should get as a commission.

 

I guess there is something to that "real estate agents do not call" afterall.

 

my sympathies. we sold my mother's condo fsbo, and a year later started getting sporadic calls out of the blue from real estate agents, and eventually buyers. apparently, the buyer listed it for sale but didn't change the contact information in the system. well, if they don't want buyers to contact them . . . . . .