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DS13 is home!


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He was supposed to be gone for 5 days and was gone for 13. Initially I sent him to his dad's for 5 days. He asked for a couple more so that was granted. Then he went camping with auntie, uncle, cousin and dd12 to his favorite dinosaur museum. Auntie told me that while he was smiling and such he had an underlieing saddness that worried her. I got him on the phone and he broke down crying. He wanted to come home. He missed me and dd4. He missed the dogs. He missed his bed. He missed his friends. Heck he even missed his school work. They got back from camping last night, and then today after work auntie and I met half way to bring him home. I swear that boy hit a growth spurt in those 13 days, he can look me in the eye now.

 

He has been chatting up a storm tonight and I am really upset about some of the stuff that happened at his dad's. it will be added to the documentation. Dad has told him he can do what he wants when he is there, yada yada to woo him into choosing to live there. Ds13 said to me tonight, don't worry mom, I told him maybe when I was 15 because he asked me everyday, but this is where I belong. He said that when he told his dad maybe at 15 his dad acted like he won something and ds was put off by that.

 

Then I found out his dad offered to buy him grand theft auto, specifically because I do not allow it. He handed him the movie "Drive" to watch and told ds13 it was really good. Ds said he was uncomfortable watching it but because his dad told him it was good and gave it to him to watch he finished it. :001_huh: It is rated 18A due to the full frontal nudity, sexual themes, extreme gore, foul language and the barrage of other reasons. So NOT an appropriate movie for a 13 yr old. SO we had a talk about being allow to tell his dad no, that something is not appropriate even if his dad thinks it is okay.

 

Ds said he heard when his dad was yelling at me claiming I was acting like ds's friend and *He* was the real parent, but after a week with his dad he knows a real parent has rules and says no to stuff, a friend doesn't.

 

This should be interesting in the future as ex thinks he really has proven that ds wants to be with him more, and ds made it very clear before the visit he didn't want to live there. During the visit he placated his dad by saying maybe at 15. And now he is back to saying no way.

 

At the walmart he was picking out a video game with the money he earned over the last 13 days doing chores at his dad's and at auntie's. He got a lego harry potter game. He really wanted the grand theft auto game, so in the middle of walmart we had another talk about reading ratings, why I allow some rated M and not others (I am not one to follow just the letter rating I read WHY it was rated that way). Blah blah blah, He suddenly looked up and hugged me and thanked me for being a "mean mom". Let's see if he remembers that feeling next week :tongue_smilie:

 

So tonight I am back to having 2 of my kids home and quite happy about it. And so glad that ds caught on to why I am as mean as I am at only 13. I thought for sure he would be 30 before he figured it out ;)

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I watched that movie. There were some parts that would be outright damaging to a teen. I had to stop at some point.

 

I have never watched it due to the list of garbage in it. I agree it could be damaging to a teen. Especially a teen like ds with so many extra issues. Then again his father has it in his head that I coddle ds, have made him into a momma's boy etc. He has made comments about how he has to teach ds to be a real man. Last time he said that I busted out laughing, and said if the example of a real man is one that abandons his kids for 10 years I'd rather he be a momma's boy. ;)

 

Apparently showing ds extremely graphic and sexual movies counts as teaching him to be a real man. It becomes 1 more thing in my arsenal as we head towards this divorce. He thinks the judge will give him ds. Not going to happen.

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Since you seem so thrilled to have your 13 year old home could mine come for a vist? Maybe a month or...two :D I would love a break I like you read why the game and movie is rated such ways. It has been a while I don't even remember now but he really wanted to see a movie that had sexual content so of course I said no. My older daughter told me about imbd I think it is? Well anyway the only reason it was rated with sc is because they kissed in a car.

 

That was it! Enjoy your homecoming.

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Glad you have your boy home safe and sound. My oldest is away studying ballet for five weeks and it's going soooo slowly.

 

5 weeks is such a long time! By the time dd is home for good this summer she will have been gone for 7 weeks. I did get to see her for a while last night when they met up with me to get ds. It's hard being away from them for so long, but she is having a good time. SHe is excited for her "job" to start on the 23rd. She is so not the homesick type.

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Since you seem so thrilled to have your 13 year old home could mine come for a vist? Maybe a month or...two :D I would love a break I like you read why the game and movie is rated such ways. It has been a while I don't even remember now but he really wanted to see a movie that had sexual content so of course I said no. My older daughter told me about imbd I think it is? Well anyway the only reason it was rated with sc is because they kissed in a car.

 

That was it! Enjoy your homecoming.

 

As long as he is good with strict, and a housefull of littles sure, why not. He and ds would have a blast ;)

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I had no idea you were not divorced. I am sorry. I so admire your abilities and how you homeschool while running a childcare. Your amazing!

 

Thank you. Yeah the divorce has never been made final, so we have been separated for over 11 years now, my 12 wedding anniversary was last Sunday, so that tells you exactly how good the marriage was lol I left 8 months after the wedding.

 

It sucked for the kids when he was absent for the first 10 years of the split, but this last year he has been involved I can't say it has done them any favors. They would have been better off with him staying away.

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He was supposed to be gone for 5 days and was gone for 13. Initially I sent him to his dad's for 5 days. He asked for a couple more so that was granted. Then he went camping with auntie, uncle, cousin and dd12 to his favorite dinosaur museum. Auntie told me that while he was smiling and such he had an underlieing saddness that worried her. I got him on the phone and he broke down crying. He wanted to come home. He missed me and dd4. He missed the dogs. He missed his bed. He missed his friends. Heck he even missed his school work. They got back from camping last night, and then today after work auntie and I met half way to bring him home. I swear that boy hit a growth spurt in those 13 days, he can look me in the eye now.

 

He has been chatting up a storm tonight and I am really upset about some of the stuff that happened at his dad's. it will be added to the documentation. Dad has told him he can do what he wants when he is there, yada yada to woo him into choosing to live there. Ds13 said to me tonight, don't worry mom, I told him maybe when I was 15 because he asked me everyday, but this is where I belong. He said that when he told his dad maybe at 15 his dad acted like he won something and ds was put off by that.

 

Then I found out his dad offered to buy him grand theft auto, specifically because I do not allow it. He handed him the movie "Drive" to watch and told ds13 it was really good. Ds said he was uncomfortable watching it but because his dad told him it was good and gave it to him to watch he finished it. :001_huh: It is rated 18A due to the full frontal nudity, sexual themes, extreme gore, foul language and the barrage of other reasons. So NOT an appropriate movie for a 13 yr old. SO we had a talk about being allow to tell his dad no, that something is not appropriate even if his dad thinks it is okay.

 

Ds said he heard when his dad was yelling at me claiming I was acting like ds's friend and *He* was the real parent, but after a week with his dad he knows a real parent has rules and says no to stuff, a friend doesn't.

 

This should be interesting in the future as ex thinks he really has proven that ds wants to be with him more, and ds made it very clear before the visit he didn't want to live there. During the visit he placated his dad by saying maybe at 15. And now he is back to saying no way.

 

At the walmart he was picking out a video game with the money he earned over the last 13 days doing chores at his dad's and at auntie's. He got a lego harry potter game. He really wanted the grand theft auto game, so in the middle of walmart we had another talk about reading ratings, why I allow some rated M and not others (I am not one to follow just the letter rating I read WHY it was rated that way). Blah blah blah, He suddenly looked up and hugged me and thanked me for being a "mean mom". Let's see if he remembers that feeling next week :tongue_smilie:

 

So tonight I am back to having 2 of my kids home and quite happy about it. And so glad that ds caught on to why I am as mean as I am at only 13. I thought for sure he would be 30 before he figured it out ;)

Bet you are glad to see him! I'd miss my son so much if he were gone that long!

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