WWYD? Sibs in Law

[Impish]

*headdesk*

 

So, we're going to a city 1.5 hr away to pick up puppy a wk today.

 

2 of Wolf's sibs live there.

 

I've attempted to contact one of them to see if we can meet up for dinner while we're there. Wolf specifically mentioned her, so I made the attempt. He's kinda given up on the other sib.

 

The problem is this: none of the sibs make any effort to establish a relationship. They didn't grow up together, so there isn't the bond that occurs when you're raised together.

 

I'm always the one attempting contact. I do this for Wolf. He only uses the puter for looking at the day's news, doesn't use FB or any other online social network.

 

I feel like I'm chasing these sibs...since the most they do is respond to me, eventually...never any effort on their part to make the first move. Heck they don't even respond to pics of Boo I post for the most part.

 

I honestly don't know what to do on this one. I mean, it's not like it's hugely time consuming to try and contact them. But on the other hand, I don't like feeling like I'm chasing ppl for their attention. I do know that if I leave it to Wolf, nothing will happen at all...and he seems to like/appreciate my attempts to foster some sort of relationship w/them on his behalf.

 

At the same time, he's also getting fed up, realizing that they simply don't seem to bother w/him or the kids. They have all our contact info...ph#s, email, my FB (Wolf doesn't have FB), etc.

 

They don't contact us on holidays, and don't always respond to my attempts to do so.

 

I genuinely don't know what to do on this one. We've been married over 9 yrs, and it hasn't gotten any better w/time.

 

From what I know of them, they're not bad ppl...I think it's more a matter of, they're not used to having siblings, and so it doesn't dawn on them to make the effort. But...if it was important to them, wouldn't they?

 

Any advice or thoughts would be welcome.

[Murphy101]

I would stop chasing them down.

 

It sounds like, at this point in their lives, they aren't interested in having a sibling relationship. Maybe someday they will feel differently and contact him.

 

I wouldn't cut contact. I just wouldn't initiate it anymore. You'll still be a FB friend, they will still have your phone and email.

 

As a side note, they might be put off by you contacting them instead of their actual sibling. That would annoy me mildly. If your dh wants a relationship with them, then he should be the friend on FB and the one emailing and calling them. If I were them, I'd think he isn't too interested if he can't be bothered to do it himself.

[Parrothead]

I have a sib I was raised with and we have very little contact. We acknowledge each other's existence a Christmas. Otherwise nothing. I've tried and he isn't interested.

 

If they aren't interested after trying a time or two I'd give it up for lost. Send a Christmas card and graduation and wedding announcements. Otherwise, spend your time with things that will give better results. :grouphug:

[TammyinTN]

I have my own situation and don't feel like I would give good advice right now...so I'll just give you a :grouphug:. Families are just hard aren't they.

[celticmom]

Is it posssible that they are simply introverted? I have a facebook account that I have not checked in a very long time and the thought of getting together with someone that I don't know well is somewhat stressful. Once I am actually at a function I doubt most people would realize how stressful it was to actually decide to go.

[Impish]

The sister updates her FB daily.

 

Martha, I've thought of that myself. I've encouraged Wolf to contact them, and he's tried now and again, but...

 

I let the sister know we'll be in the city. If she responds, fine...if she doesn't, I think I'll just give up.