kind of frustrated and confused

[happycc]

Well my soon to be 3yrs old son was exited out of Behavior Support Program (ABA) back in February or so and also in speech in April. They all wrote that he was doing great and wouldnt qualify for regional services and was basically questioning his pdd diagnosis and that he was doing so well and they questioned if he would even qualify for special ed preschool.

 

Well today we had his final assessment through Regional Center of the East Bay and was expecting him to be exiting out of the pdd diagnosis but they said he is still pdd. He still has language issues. They say his verbal iq is like 110 in that he has a bunch of vocabulary but he is not using it appropriately like you can't really carry on a conversation with him and if given a bunch of toy dolls or whatever he can't come up with a story. He also isn;t playing appropriately they are saying. Rigidity. He requires a lot of asking of questions and prompting. He is also extremely preoccupied with motorcycles, spiderman and balls. I think he is doing really well considering he just doesn;t talk only about balls. She says he has some serious articulation issues as I had to translate for her a lot of what he says. He also doesnt always cooperate with what they want him to do so hence he will score lower on the tests.

They say his non verbal iq is about 92 or something like and it comes up to an average of total 104 iq. He did not want to do those block design tests. Anyways, she says that she does not think autistic kids should be homeschooled. Red flag, I know! But they should be in some kind of social environment at least for the early years and says that some of issues could be that he doesnt have enough social interactions with his age kids outside of the family. And should he not do well in those classrooms, then they would SEE that he has issues and place him in special ed classes or whatever. They say at the very least he should get speech/language therapy from the school district but not sure if he would qualify for special ed preschool. HUH?:001_huh:

Funny thing she did mention that ALL kids should be homeschooled during middle and high school. Apparently she doesn;t have much faith in schools for middle and high school.

 

Anyways she says I need to be reading to him every night blah blah blah. It is so hard to read to someone who seems to not interact with you or what you are reading about. Playing with my son is extremely boring. There is no real interaction. He will just mimic what you are doing or just do his own thing or destroy whatever you are trying to do. Not a whole lot of interaction.

 

I don;t know what else to do. I don;t know how to further teach this child. I am at a loss. I thought he would be able to handle with Peak with Books for next year and Language Development Cards through Abeka but now I am just not sure of anything. What next? What can I do with him at home? :confused:

[MomatHWTK]

Anyways she says I need to be reading to him every night blah blah blah. It is so hard to read to someone who seems to not interact with you or what you are reading about. Playing with my son is extremely boring. There is no real interaction. He will just mimic what you are doing or just do his own thing or destroy whatever you are trying to do. Not a whole lot of interaction.

 

I don;t know what else to do. I don;t know how to further teach this child. I am at a loss. I thought he would be able to handle with Peak with Books for next year and Language Development Cards through Abeka but now I am just not sure of anything. What next? What can I do with him at home? :confused:

 

I wonder if this is why the evaluator is in favor of a group setting? For me, playing is difficult even if the child does respond (I'm not a playful person). So yes, I can see where being around other children would provide that stimulation. You child would at least see them playing, right? Maybe instead of thinking of it as playing with your son, you could consider it in-home therapy. Don't think in terms of "this is going to be fun and he's going to respond appropriately," think of it in terms of "I want to introduce him to the concept of pretend, or imitation, or anticipation..." and work on each of those skills. Maybe research ideas for theraputic play specifically.

 

I recently read an article on the topic, there was a special "pre-school" set up for children on the austic spectrum and the researchers learned that they needed to do lots of repetition of play in order to get the ideas across to the children. Off to try to find the article...

 

Here's the article:

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702304451104577389893715036310.html

and I found this also:

 

http://www.playproject.org/resourcesandlinks.php

 

FWIW, my 2 y.o. enjoys watching my 8 y.o. (and other kids play). Perhaps they could take turns modelling the behaviors you are wanting to strengthen?

Edited July 10, 2012 by MomatHWTK

[happycc]

I held a pirate toy and he was a toy spider.

They went on many adventures from riding on a web car to climbing a castle with me asking him questions and him answering yes /no questions. I tried "why" questions and he just said "cause" and that is it.

He often just repeated what I just said or the last word I said. I would prompt to repeat what I said if he couldn't come up with an answer.

 

 

I wish there was a script (like AAS) for this kind of play/therapy. I nearly fell asleep through it all.

I don;t think I am playing with him right because we are not moving forward with any type of conversations. We did have a funny moment when we made the spider fart on the pirate. That was interesting and silly. He liked that.

 

I am pregnancy brain dead but imagination has never been my forte even as a kid.

[Ghee]

I am pregnancy brain dead but imagination has never been my forte even as a kid.

 

I wouldn't beat myself up, I have always had an excellent imagination, but I don't enjoy "playing" with my kids. I'm just past playing, you know? It was fun when *I* was a kid, now it turns my brain to ooze :tongue_smilie:

 

What about acting out scripted stuff? We have a toy Scooby gang/Mystery Machine and some simple Scooby early phonics readers. I've considered having my child manipulate the toys as I read the stories, sort of acting them out. BTW, I have no idea if this is beneficial....it's just something I'm considering. My son has a hard time "picturing" the story, I was hoping this would help it come alive and be 3D for him, so to speak.

[happycc]

what a great idea... I don;t know why i didn;t think of that.

 

Thank you for being my extra brain...

 

Maybe I should get a flannel board or something. He had access to flannel boards at church but never was interested in it but maybe here at home with spiderman characters and motorcycles might work .

[Walking-Iris]

My oldest is dx'ed pdd-nos and has always been homeschooled---what a bunch of nonsense that autistic kids shouldn't be homeschooled. Please.

 

FWIW life was a TON harder when he was 3 and 4 than it is now at 9. He didn't "know" how to play either. And being around other kids wasn't the answer. He would just run circles around them...literally. Anyway here's some of the things i did with my ds at that age (as far as I can remember). Also one thing: Peak With Books. I plan on using that with my Kinder--it's really more geared to a Kinder or young 1st grade age so just don't bother about that at the age of 3. ;)

 

Okay-- The Out of Sync Child--that book was my life saver. If you can get The Out of Sync Child Has Fun and just incorporate those ideas into your day, everyday, you can call it play therapy. Setting up a sensory diet and a sensory friendly environment is the best thing to do for him at that age. Also check into OT and/or speech.

 

For homeschooling. At that age I just read a ton of books daily. Don't worry about him interacting with you, just keep reading and pointing at things and talking about things. Ask a question, wait a bit, and just cheerfully answer it if nothing seems to be coming. Our kiddos thrive on routine, so if there's a regular read-aloud during the day and at bedtime that they can expect, it helps with their security.

 

I also did a lot of Montessori inspired activities when my ds was 3. Handmade sandpaper letters, counting sticks, nesting blocks that could be built into a tower (they call it a pink tower but eeboo makes essentially the same thing), lacing beads, different textured fabrics, touch feely boxes, etc. I also spent a lot of time working on the daily living stuff: washing hands, brushing teeth, getting dressed, sweeping, washing windows, using buttons and zippers and different clasps etc. Working puzzles and playing board games like CandyLand.

 

We spent a lot of time outside---at parks, collecting acorns, leaves, flowers, making leaf piles, throwing rocks in puddles, going to the lake etc.

 

Build with blocks and legos, and train sets. I personally think that too much emphasis is placed on pretend play. I just don't think it's the "holy grail" of nuerotypical kid play. There's no reason that sitting alongside a child and stacking blocks and watching them tumble over and over can't be a loving interaction. You have to dig deep and curb your boredom and find things to talk about. There have been plenty of times I've built a castle and prattled on and on about the colors I was using and "here's the door" and "this can be the moat" and my ds seemed to care less. But it is all being absorbed---trust in that. And also severely limit television and other media---IMHO they have few positives to add to spectrum kids lives.

 

Don't beat yourself up for not having an imagination or wonder if you're playing right. Tons of parents get bored easily with playing with their kids. ;) Maybe it would help to do some activities together with him---maybe from the MommyandMe website or some other book with ideas. IDK pull something out of a parenting mag. I'm not the best with coming up with creative ideas either.

 

But I can tell you with patience, your pdd child will be just fine. My ds is totally at a grade appropriate level, has friends, spends the night, plays soccer, takes karate, goes to co-op etc.

 

I think he'll always be a bit on the introverted side of social.He still has some struggles that can can rock our world at times. He much prefers doing his own thing, but :grouphug: it took some time to get here.

 

ETA: maybe this will give you some ideas of what to do with a 3 year old http://www.squidoo.com/toddler-workbox

Edited July 11, 2012 by Walking-Iris

[Ghee]

what a great idea... I don;t know why i didn;t think of that.

 

Thank you for being my extra brain...

 

Maybe I should get a flannel board or something. He had access to flannel boards at church but never was interested in it but maybe here at home with spiderman characters and motorcycles might work .

 

Well, like I said, no guarantees that it will help. I'm just sort of where you are, my child doesn't "play" either, and I'm hoping that will sort of show him how to make up stories with toys and then he'll branch off from there. He is showing minor interest in story lines, so maybe he's ready. We shall see.

 

I think a flannel board would be good, too. Especially if it has characters he enjoys. I think the first step is to capture their interest.

[happycc]

for pdd---there might be a peaceful lull with their pdd sons between 8-10 or so but then bammo adolescents comes and hits them really hard....

 

Do not think it is smooth going once you hit 8-10years. My 18yr old pdd son had a peaceful lull when he was 8-10/11/12years. I thought we were scott free and that he was doing great aside for some academic slowness but oh my gosh..I had no idea what adolescent would bring. I was in for a serious serious surprise. The violence, anger came back with a vengence. The illogical rigid thinking. The depression and anxiety. Suicide attempts, sexuality issues, dating issues is even more complex with the pdd kid. Luckily drugs and alcohol hasn't been an issue for him. But I heard adolescence lasts longer with these kid. So he will be having these issues until he is near 30 years.

 

A neighbor of mine also has a pdd son and he is 25 years and cops are still being called to his house regularly to calm him down. He is 25yrs old but acts like a 13yrs old. As an adult there isn;t much his parents can do. He refuses to go to therapy or get help.

[Walking-Iris]

I think one has to be careful to make sweeping generalizations as well. In college I worked summers as a camp counselor for kids on the spectrum, as well as those with MR and DS, and I'll be the first to stand up and say I never encountered any extremes of anger or violence from any of our kids. (they were in the 11 to 18 year old range).

 

Honestly there are so so so many variables in family life, home environment, length and duration of therapy (home and outside), school environment (ps and homeschool), coping skills of both kids and parents, and so on, that it's really (IMHO) not reasonable to assume that our sn kids are going to be so hard to handle that cops would possibly need to be involved :001_huh: or that they are almost destined to have extreme issues of those sorts.

 

Granted adolescence is a hard time for any kid, but the majority make it out unscathed, and I think that it can be assumed that kids on the spectrum have just as much a shot of that as any other. I think all parents of sn kids are aware that adolescence will likely be longer. That's a given. But I don't think those extremes are to be expected.

 

FWIW if a child had suicidal thoughts or attempts and extremes of violence, I'd seek out therapy (possibly even professional family therapy) because that is never something to consider a "norm" with spectrum kids.

[happycc]

tons and tons....individual, family, ot, pt, sensory, etc

 

We lost our house to pay for his treatments and to be near children's hospital and tons of debts.

 

He is on lamictal, abilify and lexapro when he is not on them things are really bad.

[happycc]

she said kids with autism from big families seem to fare better than kids who were only child or in smaller family. I thought that was interesting. She said kids in bigger families have more social interactions. Yeah..that is pretty much the case here. We are in each others face all the time :D:D