Developmentally Inapropriate vs. Lazy

[Ritsumei]

So, I've got this very bright 5 1/2yo boy, and we're finishing up our first "real" year of school, which is largely 1st grade content, though he really hates reading so phonics is moving at a snail pace. But otherwise, we've been humming along nicely, and with few problems, until recently.

 

Here lately, though, he's soooooo slow! It's killing me! The same work we used to breeze through in 2, maybe 3 hours, is now taking All.Day.Long. I'm going out of my mind! Before, we had plenty of time to do school in the AM, and more unstructured stuff & playdates & so forth in the afternoons/evenings. Now, it seems like we're always cleaning up a last bit as dinner rolls around, which is inevitably late, so bedtime follows quickly on its heals.

 

I have been trying to ramp up the amount of writing he's doing a bit. He seems to learn better/comprehend more/retain better if he does the work of writing. But we're not talking tons; he's still little! I still generally write most or all of the narrations. We do have copywork a couple times a week, and he's been doing most of the writing on his math. It seems to make the most difference there, and, really, writing 10-15 numbers isn't that much... is it? I know boys' fine motor develops later, but I didn't move to him doing more writing until his writing started to take off on its own. But not long after that the dawdling began.

 

So, my question is this: how do I tell if I'm asking more of him than is developmentally appropriate - or if it's just laziness. So much comes easily for this boy, and we've definitely noticed a tendency to avoid things that require more work. We've started piano lessons to try to give him something that he has to really work for, and it looks like swimming is going to be that way this summer too, though it's a short session. But I just don't know what to do with this boy!!

 

Suggestions?

[EKS]

If your sense is that adding the writing is causing the problems, you're probably right. I wouldn't do anything more that a small amount of handwriting practice until his reading has solidified. Then you could add in a little bit of writing.

[MomatHWTK]

:iagree:

[Tracy]

Writing was very hard for my dd at that age. Her writing was beautiful, but her stamina was very poor. What was worse was that she absolutely hated anything that they say would help her stamina--coloring, play dough, cutting, pasting. So she did 1-2 lines of copywork at that age, and that was all I asked of her. We did everything else orally. The following year, I decided to start WWE and SWR. I only had her do 5 spelling words per day and the WWE copywork (2-3x per week). When we had spelling tests or quizzes, I had her do them on the white board. I have been amazed at how much her stamina has improved this past year. I think it was a combination of developmental maturing and the small but consistent writing work that we did.

 

IMO, at 5yo, it is not laziness. If you have ramped up the writing (even a little), and you have that serious a reaction, then I would hang back and wait. I would also caution against using copywork for a child that is not reading yet. That adds a dimension of difficulty that could just be too much for him. If you can get him to do those things that will increase his writing stamina, then do that instead and see how he is doing in 6 months to a year before you increase the writing again.

Edited July 10, 2012 by tracymirko

[EKS]

I would also caution against using copywork for a child that is not reading yet. That adds a dimension of difficulty that could just be too much for him.

 

:iagree:

 

Copywork is not helpful, IMO, unless the child can see the bigger picture and is not copying letter by letter.

[Ritsumei]

The copywork is primarily letters & numbers, and family names at this point. But I think the advice to scale back the writing again a bit is probably a good idea.

[nmoira]

Here lately, though, he's soooooo slow! It's killing me! The same work we used to breeze through in 2, maybe 3 hours, is now taking All.Day.Long. I'm going out of my mind! Before, we had plenty of time to do school in the AM, and more unstructured stuff & playdates & so forth in the afternoons/evenings. Now, it seems like we're always cleaning up a last bit as dinner rolls around, which is inevitably late, so bedtime follows quickly on its heals.

Are you taking the summer off? It sounds like you both desperately need a break. Whatever is going on with your son, schooling all or most of the day at 5-1/2 isn't the answer.

 

FWIW, I wouldn't do either copywork or FLL with a non-reading child, and I wouldn't do school for more than 60 or 90 minutes (and not in one sitting). I'd strongly recommend going by time instead of pages or lesson number to help you both get through your day while you get things sorted out.

 

But not long after that the dawdling began.

Your son may or may not be "dawdling," but I'd strongly encourage you to not automatically frame it in terms of laziness. There could be a very good reason why he's putting up resistance, and it's probably that at five he won't be able to articulate it. Why does he dislike copying letters? Is he a perfectionist? Does he get tired? Is the work meaningful to him? Does he balk at five letters? Are you able to set it aside if he's just not ready? Can you make a game of it?

 

Do you do the other subjects orally?

[boscopup]

I have been trying to ramp up the amount of writing he's doing a bit. He seems to learn better/comprehend more/retain better if he does the work of writing.

 

What does he need to retain at 5.5? :confused:

 

Have him write some phonograms for reading/handwriting practice combined, and let him do a bit of math via writing, then call it good.

 

I have a 5.5 year old too. He also learns better by writing, BUT he's not ready to write much of anything yet. We're going through the handwriting instructions of WRTR and just started. It will be a while before we get to writing words, and even when we do, it will probably be one or two words a day when we do get there. For now, his reading instruction is purely oral (we're using Dancing Bears). Once we have gotten through all the letters, I'll start teaching him to write 2-letter phonograms. But again, it will be a while. He has good fine motor skills compared to his older brother, but he still can only handle working on one or two letters a day, writing each one maybe 3 times? He also does his own math work, but we're just doing one Singapore 1A exercise per day, and he can handle that (he's good with writing numbers). If he needs to be accelerated more than that, he'll need to do more orally. For now, we're just going at the pace of the book and taking our time. He's 5.5, so my expectations are waaaaay lower than that of my 8 year old. ;)

 

My 8 year old could not write hardly anything at 5.5, and his hand still hurt at 6.5. I wasn't able to "ramp up his writing" until age 7. This year, it's being ramped up even more.

 

But yeah, school for a 5 year old shouldn't be dragging on for hours like that. I watch for signs of "I'm done" in my 5 year old, and then we stop! We do 10 minutes of reading, one exercise in Singapore TB/WB (10-20 minutes), and then after a break, we do about 10 minutes of handwriting. Throw in some reading aloud and we're done. That's it. For a more accelerated child that's interested in history/science, you could do more reading aloud in those subjects. I wouldn't include writing in those subjects though.

[Halcyon]

Mrstk, stop spammingpls, you posted the exact same post on my thread too

 

For op.

My just turned 7 year old its accelerated too (see my siggie) but at 5, he was not doing mores than an hour a day. He was reading well by that point so he spent a lot of time reading, but for a non reader i would recommend snap circuits, board games, Lego, lots of outdoor time, nature exploring and read alous. Lots of read aloyds. In terms of writing he was doing a page of hwt.

 

Good luck.

[FairProspects]

I have a 5.5 year old too. He also learns better by writing, BUT he's not ready to write much of anything yet. But again, it will be a while. He has good fine motor skills compared to his older brother, but he still can only handle working on one or two letters a day, writing each one maybe 3 times?

 

:iagree:I don't think you'll find many 5.5 y.o. boys even gifted or accelerated ones writing very much or at all. My older one has dysgraphia, and I can already tell my younger one doesn't, but he writes even less than his brother did at that age. He can easily form letters when he is interested, but often he just won't. It's just an age thing.

[Ritsumei]

Writing was very hard for my dd at that age. Her writing was beautiful, but her stamina was very poor. What was worse was that she absolutely hated anything that they say would help her stamina--coloring, play dough, cutting, pasting. So she did 1-2 lines of copywork at that age, and that was all I asked of her. We did everything else orally. The following year, I decided to start WWE and SWR. I only had her do 5 spelling words per day and the WWE copywork (2-3x per week). When we had spelling tests or quizzes, I had her do them on the white board. I have been amazed at how much her stamina has improved this past year. I think it was a combination of developmental maturing and the small but consistent writing work that we did.

 

IMO, at 5yo, it is not laziness. If you have ramped up the writing (even a little), and you have that serious a reaction, then I would hang back and wait. I would also caution against using copywork for a child that is not reading yet. That adds a dimension of difficulty that could just be too much for him. If you can get him to do those things that will increase his writing stamina, then do that instead and see how he is doing in 6 months to a year before you increase the writing again.

 

Thank you. I tried pulling way back on the writing in the past couple of days and are back to cheerful, pleasant work that we get through quickly. I appreciate you sharing your experience.

[Tracy]

Thank you. I tried pulling way back on the writing in the past couple of days and are back to cheerful, pleasant work that we get through quickly. I appreciate you sharing your experience.

 

I am so glad it helped. Let me also add that I also paid close attention to dd's grip, and we changed to mechanical pencils with stetro grips, which has helped tremendously. Her grip was only slightly off, but enough to strain her hands. And she has a tendency to grip and press too hard, also very hard on little hands. Mechanical pencils break when you press too hard, so it forces to her pay constant attention to the strength of her grip. She still balks at using them, but when I let her try a regular pencil, she quickly asks for her mechanical pencils with the grips.

[boscopup]

I am so glad it helped. Let me also add that I also paid close attention to dd's grip, and we changed to mechanical pencils with stetro grips, which has helped tremendously. Her grip was only slightly off, but enough to strain her hands. And she has a tendency to grip and press too hard, also very hard on little hands. Mechanical pencils break when you press too hard, so it forces to her pay constant attention to the strength of her grip. She still balks at using them, but when I let her try a regular pencil, she quickly asks for her mechanical pencils with the grips.

:iagree: Mechanical pencil has helped a lot here. I use a grip, though if he's not using the pencil with a grip on it, he still does a thumb wrap. :tongue_smilie: Since his hand doesn't hurt when he writes now, I'm not worrying about it anymore. He can just live with a bad grip.

[Ritsumei]

Mechanical pencils break when you press too hard, so it forces to her pay constant attention to the strength of her grip. She still balks at using them, but when I let her try a regular pencil, she quickly asks for her mechanical pencils with the grips.

 

:iagree: Mechanical pencil has helped a lot here. I use a grip, though if he's not using the pencil with a grip on it, he still does a thumb wrap. :tongue_smilie: Since his hand doesn't hurt when he writes now, I'm not worrying about it anymore. He can just live with a bad grip.

 

What a clever idea! My dad wouldn't allow me to use his mechanical pencils (which I thought were the coolest things around) until I'd matured enough to keep from breaking them, so I always thought of them as a "grown-up" thing, and it never occurred to me that they could be used as a teaching tool this way! I'll have to stock up on some when the back-to-school sales come on here in a few weeks. Thanks again!

[boscopup]

What a clever idea! My dad wouldn't allow me to use his mechanical pencils (which I thought were the coolest things around) until I'd matured enough to keep from breaking them, so I always thought of them as a "grown-up" thing, and it never occurred to me that they could be used as a teaching tool this way! I'll have to stock up on some when the back-to-school sales come on here in a few weeks. Thanks again!

 

Just don't put more than 2 pieces of lead in the pencil at a time. That way, when someone takes the top off, you don't have a million pieces of lead to find on your floor. :D

 

I only have 2 of these pencils, and we've managed to keep them not lost. :)